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turned from abroad, and has long been justly celebrated for his conversation al talents in all the coteries and courts of Europe. If that lank-and-leather jawed gentleman, with complexion bespeaking a temperament dry and adust, and who has long been sedulously occupied in feeling the edge of his fruit-knife with the ball of his thumb,-do not commit suicide before September,-Lavater must have been as great a goose as Gall. You might not only hear a mouse stirring -a pin dropping-but either event would rouse the whole company like a peal of thunder. You may have seen Madame Toussaud's images,Napoleon, Wellington, Scott, Can ning, all sitting together, in full fig, with faces and figures in opposite directions, each looking as like himself as possible, so that you could almost believe you heard them speak. You get rather angry-you wonder that they don't speak. Even so with those living Images. But the exhibition is over the ladies leave the room -and after another hour of silence, more profound than that of the grave, all the images simultaneously rise up and-no wonder people believe in ghosts-disappear!
A RETURN DINNER! Thirty people of all sorts and sizes, jammed glued together-shoulder to shoulder -knee to knee-all with their elbows in each other's stomachs-most faces red as fire, in spite of all those floods of perspiration-two landed gentlemen from the Highlands-a professor four officers, naval and military, in his Majesty's and in the Company's service-some advocates-two persons like ministers-abundance of W. S.'s of course-an accoucheur-old ladies with extraordinary things upon their heads, and grey hair dressed in a mode fashionable before the flood-a few fat mothers of promising families -some eldest daughters now nubile -a female of no particular age, with a beard-two widows, the one buxom and blooming, with man-fond eyes, the other pale and pensive, with long dark eye-lashes, and lids closed as if to hide a tear-there they all sit steaming through three courses-well does the right hand of the one know what the left hand of the other is doingthere is much suffering, mingled with much enjoyment-for though hot, they are hungry-while all idea of speaking
having been, from the commencement of the feast, unanimously abandoned you might imagine yourself at an anniversary GAUDEAMUS of the Deaf and Dumb.
Yet nor FAMILY DINNER, nor LiTERARY DINNER, nor RETURN DINNER-can in intensest stupidity one moment hope to stand the most distant comparison with this ANGLER'S DINNER, eaten on the banks of the Ewe, the emptier of Loch Maree, by these four gentlemen, poets, physicians, philosophers, and what not, from the faroff and mighty London.
At each successive and successful mouthful of the curd, was each member of the Club bound to say some thing wise or witty; bound in duty, in honour, and in gratitude. The perpetually recurring excitement and assuagement of the palate, prolonged, as we must believe, during ten hours at the very least-for they had been at work, walking, rowing, and angling, for forty miles, and fourteen hours, at the lowest computation, without refreshment-ought to have set all their tongues a-wagging like the clappers of so many bells. It was imperative upon them to scintillate-to coruscate -to meteorize-to make the natives positively believe that a "new sun had risen on mid-day," and that the 221 of June had that year been delayed till the 15th of July. It was imperative on them to have drunk for their own share-a gallon of Glenlivet— merely a bottle a-piece, a quantity, which, if taken moderately, can, in the climate of Loch Maree, hurt not a hair on the head of any sober Christian. It was imperative upon them to have insisted on the boatmen, also four in number, whether they could or not, to empty their keg of calkers. It was incumbent upon them to have brought into a state of civilation all such of the natives of that wild district as had been gathered together in and about the inn, by the fame of the arrival of the Missionaries. The landlord, of course, should have been laid on his back among the blooming heather, long before sunset; and the pleasing toil of distribution been de volved on his wife and daughters, who, except at marriages, christenings, and funerals, eschew the creature.
Instead of a scene like this, equally rational and sentimental, and the sweet savour of which would have scented
the mountain-air years after the departure of the Sassenachs, whose names would have been remembered till doomsday in many a flowing quech," list, O list, if ever you did your dear Father love"-list to the brace of most portentous blockheads! Ornither. "Come, let us have another bottle of claret-a pint per man is not too MUCH!!!! after such a day's fatigue !!!!!!! !! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !” Huli eus." You have made me President for four days, and I forbid it ! ! ! ! A HALF PINT FOR YOUNG MEN IN PERFECT HEALTH IS ENOUGH; and you will be able to take your exercise better, and feel better for this abstinence ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !!!!! !!!!!!!!!! Ornither." Well, I give up the wine-but I intend to wade in Hancock's boots to-morrow! ! ! ! !”
A more mean, and melancholy, and miserable, and monstrous picture was never drawn of humanity than this! Half-a-pint of claret! Poor devils! Wading to-morrow in Hancock's boots! Cold feet! Apoplexy! Palsy! "Be guided by me-neither drink nor wade!!" "Remember old Boerhaave's maxims of health,—I act upon them'Keep the feet warm-the head cooland the body open!!!" A maxim on a fishing excursion equally despicable and disgusting. Really" Salmonia" smells like a doze of Glauber salts in a tea-cup-and Sir Humphry is unpleasantly strong of the shop.
The party remain for some days at a snug inn near the foot of the Loch, but we never feel ourselves to be in the Highlands; no thunder-cloud suddenly darkens the day; no floating mist-wreaths girdle the mountains; no gor-cock is heard to crow; no red deer bells; no goat bleats her kids along the cliff-terrace; no bag-pipe is heard, "like subterranean music," far off
among the hills, gradually growling and groaning, and shrieking and squeaking, and yelling and roaring, into the "Gathering of the Clans," till the Personification of Pride appears, with red-blown cheeks and fiery eyes, keeping marching to and fro on the green before the inn, his instrument burning with streamers, as if the sole soul of martial music were tabernacling in his chanter, and all the military glory that was ever achieved on earth the patrimony of the descendants of the Black-watch, and more particularly of " her nainsel," Donald
M'Tavish. We quote with pleasure a conversation which takes place on of the best bits in the book-placid, the last night of the week. It is one pleasant, and pious-and proves that Sir Humphry is no Sabbath-breaker, but has a high respect for all the or dinances of religion.
"POIET.-Should it be a fine day tomorrow, I think we shall have good sport: the high tide will bring up fish, and the rain and wind of yesterday will have enlarged the river.
it is the Lord's day, and a day of rest. It HAL.-To-morrow we must not fish: ought likewise to be a day of worship and thanksgiving to the great Cause of all the benefits and blessings we enjoy in this life, for which we can never sufficiently express our gratitude.
"POIET.-I cannot see what harm there can be in pursuing an amusement on a Sunday, which you yourself have call ed innocent, and which is apostolic: nor turning thanks to the Almighty Cause of do I know a more appropriate way of reall being, than in examining and wondernature, whose canopy is the sky; and ing at his works in that great temple of where all the beings and elements around us are as it were proclaiming the power and wisdom of Deity.
"HAL.I cannot see how the exercise of fishing can add to your devotional feelings; but independent of this, you employ a servant to carry your net and gaff, and he, at least, has a right to rest on this one day. But even if you could perfectly satisfy yourself as to the abstract correct, ness of the practice, the habits of the country in which we now are, form an insurmountable obstacle to the pursuit of the amusement: by indulging in it, you would excite the indignation of the Highland peasants, and might perhaps expiate the offence by a compulsory ablution in the river.
"POIET.-I give up the point I make any person, even when they appear to me it a rule never to shock the prejudices of ridiculous; and I shall still less do so in and I have no taste for undergoing persea case where your authority is against me ; cution, when the cause is a better one.
now remember that I have often heard of the extreme severity with which the Sabbath discipline is kept in Scotland. Can you give us the reason of this?
"HAL-I am not sufficiently read in the cause historically; but I think it can the Church History of Scotland to give hardly be doubted that it is connected with the intense feelings of the carly Covenanters, and their hatred with respect to all the forms and institutes of the Church of
Rome, the ritual of which makes the Sunday more a day of innocent recreation, than severe discipline.
"PHYS. Yet the disciples of Calvin, at Geneva, who, I suppose, must have hated the Pope as much as their brethren of Scotland, do not so rigilly observe the Sunday; and 1 remember having been invited by a very religious and respectable Genevese to a shooting party on that day.
"HAL. I think climate and the imitative nature of man modify this cause abroad. Geneva is a little state in a brighter climate than Scotland, almost surrounded by Catholics, and the habits of the French and Savoyards must influence the people. The Scotch, with more severity and simplicity of manners, have no such examples of bad neighbours, for the people of the north of England keep the Sunday much in the same way.
"POLET.-Nay, Halieus, call them not bad neighbours; recollect my creed, and respect at least, what, if error, was the error of the Christian world for 1000 years. The rigid observance of the seventh day appears to me rather a part of the Mosaic, than of the Christian dispensation. The Protestants of this country consider the Catholics bigots, because they enjoin to themselves, and perform, certain penances for their sins; and surely the Catholics may see a little more like that spirit in the interference of the Scotch in innocent amusements, on a day celebrated as a festive day, that on which our Saviour rose into immortal life, and secured the everlasting hopes of the Christian. I see no reason why this day should not be celebrated with singing, dancing, and triumphal processions, and all innocent signs of gladness and joy. I see no reason why it should be given up to severe and solitary prayers, or to solemn and dull walks; or why, as in Scotland, whistling even should be considered as a crime on Sunday, and humming a tune, however sacred, out of doors, as a reason for violent anger and persecu
"ORN. I agree with Poietes, in his views of the subject. I have suffered from the peculiar habits of the Scotch Church, and therefore may complain. Once in the north of Ireland, when a very young man, 'I ventured, after the time of divine ser vice, to put together my rods, as I had been used to do in the Catholic districts of Ireland, and fish for white trout in the river at Rathmelton, in pure innocence of heart, unconscious of wrong, when I found a crowd collect round me at first I thought from mere curiosity, but I soon discovered I was mistaken; anger was their motive, and vengeance their object. A man scon came up exceedingly drunk, and began to abuse me by various indecent terms; such as a Sabbath-breaking Papist, &c. It was in vain I assured him I was no Papist,
and no intentional Sabbath-breaker; he seized my rod, and carried it off with imprecations; and it was only with great difficulty, and by rousing by my eloquence some women who were present, and who thought I was an ill-used stranger, that I recovered my property. Another time I was walking on Arthur's Seat, with some of the most distinguished professors of Edinburgh attached to the geological opinions of the late Dr Hutton; a discussion took place upon the phenomena presented by the rocks under our feet, and to exem plify a principle, Professor Playfair broke some stones, in which I assisted the venerable and amiable philosopher. We had hardly examined the fragments, when a man from a crowd, who had been assisting at a field preaching, came up to us and warned us off, saying, 'Ye think ye are only stane breakers; but I ken ye are Sabbath-breakers, and ye deserve to be staned with your ain stanes!'
"HAL.-Zeal of every kind is sometimes troublesome, yet I generally suspect the persons who are very tolerant of scep ticism. Those who firmly believe that a particular plan of conduct is essential to the eternal welfare of man, may be pardoned if they shew even anger, if this conduct is not pursued. The severe observance of the Sabbath is connected with the vital creed of these rigid Presbyterians; it is not therefore extraordinary that they should enforce it even with a perseverance that goes beyond the bounds of good manners and courtesy. They may quote the example of our Saviour, who expelled the traders from the temple even by violence."
On all this we have just two small remarks, or so, to make. In the first place, the whole party, as men of education, Poietes included, were bound to have known, that in Scotland, angling on the Lord's day would be looked on with religious horror, and all such anglers as impious reprobates. This being the case, Poietes might, with equal sense of propriety, have proposed walking into a church during time of divine service, in England, in the dress in which he might have chanced to perform the character of Beelzebub at a masquerade in the Pantheon. In a subsequent conversation, (which shall be our last quotation) he speaks of the people of Scotland as if he understood cation, and its peculiar nature, and efthem thoroughly-their love of edufects on their national character. Yet here he is so utterly ignorant of all about them, as absolutely to propose fishing in Scotland upon the Sabbath! This is one of the many gross and glaring contradictions and inconsisten
cies into which Sir Humphry is ever falling, throughout every part of his unlucky volume. When called to task by Halieus for his most improper proposal, Poietes says, "I now remember that I have often heard of the extreme severity with which the Sabbath discipline is kept in Scotland. Can you give us the reason of this?" So he who speaks authoritatively and oracularly about Scotland, and the people of Scotland, on the great question of education, here avows himself ignorant as a child of the history of its "glorious army of martyrs and apostles!" Secondly, suppose that in Scotland the Sabbath-day were not so religiously observed as it is in hall and hut, still, what possible excuse could there have been for Poietes in looking forward to the morning of that day for good sport in the river among the salmon?Would he not have been better employed in going to hear a Gaelic sermon? or in bringing up his Journal? or writing a letter to his wife or mistress? or lying on his back among the heather composing a sonnet? Why should he always be angling-angling-angling-and not attending a little, like other worthy and wicked people, to the interests of his immortal soul? Thirdly, Do the gentlemen of England angle on Sundays? No. You may see a Cockney -or other Cit, the round-faced, potbellied, happy little father of a numerous family, with knee-breeches, and buckles in his shoes, on a point or on a promontory, beetling three or four feet above the raging billows of a canal, pulling out an occasional " animal," somewhat more like a fish than a fowl, to the infinite delight of the progeny, with bags of worms and papers of paste swarming at his feet. Such a Cockney, or other Cit, you may see angling-and ang ling blamelessly, too-on a Sunday. But London Physicians, and Authors of Epic or Didactic Poems, and Presidents of Royal Societies, and Members for Counties, do not angle on Sundays in England; and were they to be met on the King's highway, on their progress to the river, creeled, rodded, and booted, while all honest and decent people were going to church, the first magistrate they met would commit them as audacious vagabonds to the tread-mill. "Can you give us the reason of this?"
But before we take leave of the
Bart., we shall place him in an imposing attitude with his best foot foremost. We were struck with one passage, unconnected wholly with angling, and had the volume been written throughout with the same spirit, how different had been our critique!
"PHYS. You are severe on Cockney fishermen, and, I suppose, would apply to them only, the observation of Dr Johnson, which on a former occasion you would not allow to be just: 'Angling is an amusement with a stick and a string; a worm at one end, and a fool at the other.' And to yourself you would apply it with this change: a fly at one end, and a philosopher at the other.' Yet the pleasure of the Cockney Angler appears to me of much the same kind, and perhaps more continuous than yours; and he has the happiness of constant occupation and perpetual pursuit in as high a degree as you have; and if we were to look at the real foun dations of your pleasure, we should find them like most of the foundations of human happiness-vanity or folly. I shall never forget the impression made upon me some years ago, when I was standing on the pier at Donegal, watching the flowing of the tide. I saw a lame boy of fourteen or fifteen years old, very slightly clad, that some persons were attempting to stop in his progress along the pier; but he resisted them with his crutches, and halting along, threw himself from an elevation of five or cel of wooden boats that he carried under six feet, with his crutches, and a little parhis arm, on the sand of the beach. had to scramble or halt at least 100 yards, over hard rocks, before he reached the wa ter, and he several times fell down and
cut his naked limbs on the bare stones.
Being in the water he seemed in an ecstasy, and immediately put his boats in sailing order, and was perfectly inattentive to the counsel and warning of the spectators, who shouted to him that he would be drowned.
His whole attention was absorbed by his should outsail the others, and when this boats. He had formed an idea that one boat was foremost he was in delight; when any one of the others got beyond it, he howled with grief; and once I saw him throw his crutch at one of the unfavoured boats. The tide came in rapidly—he lost his crutches, and would have been drowned but for the care of some of the spectators: but he was wholly inattentive to any thing save his boats. He is said to be quite insane and perfectly ungovernable,
and will not live in a house, nor wear any
clothes, and his whole life is spent in this fleet of wooden boats, of which he is sole one business-making and managing a admiral. How near this mad youth is to a genius, a hero, or to an angler, who injures his health and risks his life by going
into the water as high as his middle, in the hope of catching a fish which he sees rise, though he already has a pannier full!"
There is another pretty good passage in "Ninth Day"-Scene-the Fall of the Traun, Upper Austria.
"POIET.-I admire in this country not only the mode of preserving, carrying, and dressing fish, but I am delighted, generally, with the habits of life of the peasants, and with their manners. It is a country in which I should like to live; the scenery is so beautiful, the people so amiable and good-natured, and their attention to strangers so marked by courtesy and disinte restedness.
"PHYS. They appear to me very amiable and good; but all classes seem little
"POIET. There are few philosophers amongst them, certainly; but they appear very happy, and
Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise.' We have neither seen nor heard of any instances of crime since we have been here. They fear their God, love their sovereign, are obedient to the laws, and seem perfectly contented. I know you would contrast them with the active and educated peasantry of the manufacturing districts of England; but I believe they are much happier, and I am sure they are generally
"PHYS.-I doubt this: the sphere of enjoyment, as well as of benevolence, is enlarged by education.
"POIET. I am sorry to say I think the system carried too far in England. God forbid that any useful light should be extinguished! Let persons who wish for education receive it; but it appears to me that, in the great cities in England, it is, as it were, forced upon the population; and that sciences, which the lower classes can only very superficially acquire, are presented to them; in consequence of which they often become idle and conceited, and above their usual laborious occupations. The unripe fruit of the tree of knowledge is, I believe, always bitter or sour; and
scepticism and discontent-sickness of the mind-are often the results of devouring it.
"HAL. Surely you cannot have a more religious, moral, or more improved population than that of Scotland?
"POIET.-Precisely so. In Scotland, education is not forced upon the people— it is sought for, and it is connected with their forms of faith, acquired in the bosoms of their families, and generally pursued with a distinct object of prudence or
interest: nor is that kind of education wanting in this country.
"PHYS.-Where a book is rarely seen, a newspaper never.
"POIET.-Pardon me-there is not a cottage without a Prayer-book; and I am not sorry that these innocent and happy men are not made active and tumultuous subjects of King Press, whom I consider as the most capricious, depraved, and unprincipled tyrant that ever existed in England. Depraved for it is to be bought by great wealth; capricious-because it sometimes follows, and sometimes forms, the voice of the lowest mob; and unprincipled because, when its interests are concerned, it sets at defiance private feeling and private character, and neither regards their virtue, dignity, or purity.
"HAL.-My friends, you are growing warm. I know you differ essentially on this subject; but surely you will allow that the full liberty of the press, even though it sometimes degenerates into licentiousness, and though it may sometimes be improperly used by the influence of wealth, power, or private favour, is yet highly advantageous, and even essential to the existence of a free country; and, useful as it may be to the population, it is still more useful to the government, to whom, as expressing the voice of the people, though not always vox Dei, it may be regarded as oracular or prophetic. But let us change our conversation, which is neither in time nor place."
We have a million more remarks to make. But, Brethren of the Angle, farewell till next month, when we meditate having A DOUBLE NUMBER.
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