in Mr. Calcraft's affection, propagated innumera-. ble falfehoods against me. As the poffeffed a fertile genius, fhe was able to clothe them with an appearance of plaufibility, which made them believed; and my filence gave her every advantage over me. My extravagance furnished her with a fund of calumny. Nor was this the worst. It was induftriously reported, that I entertained a partiality for a man I fcarcely knew; and that this was the cause of my leaving Mr. Calcraft. So improbable a story, I think, could hardly gain belief. For, had that been the cafe, I fhould certainly have ftaid in London, where my imagined lover was, rather than have removed to so great a distance from him. But to what lengths will not malevolence and the love of flander carry fome people! How finely, and at the fame time how justly, has Shakspere defcribed this propenfity, in the following lines! Slander Whofe edge is fharper than the fword; whofe tongue All corners of the world, kings, queens, and states, This viperous flander enters *. Cymbeline, A& III. Scene IV. B 2 Inftead Inftead of being able to indulge my tender emotions, the mortification, and difguft I had fo long been a prey to entirely engroffed my thoughts. I had not even the flightest idea of forming another connection. Not that I thought myself debarred from it by any ties that fubfifted between myself and Mr. Calcraft; for these were now perfectly diffolved by his duplicity. Had I encouraged fuch a wifh, I could foon have extricated myself from all my difficulties, as there was many a competitor for my favour; particularly one of the first and most generous men in the kingdom. That our differences did not arise folely from the impropriety of my behaviour to him, notwithstanding some reports have been circulated by my enemies to the contrary, is plainly evinced by the tenor of all his letters to me; which, even when he appears to have had the greateft caufe for refentment and recrimination, if fuch a cause exifted, breathe forth nothing but tenderness and affection. As a further proof of this, I will copy for your perufal (though you, my dear Madam, I am well affured, want no proofs) another of his letters. This, which was one of the laft I received from him, will prove, and that in terms as forcible and explicit as language can convey, that my conduct, admitting the imprudences I have acknowledged 'knowledged myself guilty of, have not been fuch as warranted any upbraidings, or could leffen his regard for me. It runs thus: My dearest Georgina, Jan. 17, 1761. "PACKET after packet arrives from Ireland "without a letter from you: why won't you "write, and fally? I never am fo well pleased as "when I hear fully from you; nor ever so uneafy 66 as when I do not.-The children are both "well, and charming ones. I have been with my brother to Poole, this week, and fecured "his election, I hope, without oppofition. Pray "do write. You don't know the diftrefs your neglect occafions to The packet not being ready to fail from Parkgate, left I should forfeit the penalty of my articles, by not being at Dublin in time, I fet off for Holyhead. As I travelled by myself, I had leisure to indulge my melancholy. I could not even help envying the happiness of my fervants, in whofe bofoms cheerful innocence feemed to reign, whilft I was tortured with the fevereft reflections. Thefe B 3 Thefe arofe, not only from my unhappy fituation, but from the perfidy and ingratitude I had experienced from a man, who, whilft he was pretending to regret my lofs, was, as I had been informed, abetting and inventing the most improbable, and the falfeft reports of me. Among thefe, it was given out by them, that I encouraged the addreffes of a noble Lord, with whofe Countefs I had the honour of being upon terms of intimacy. Had I been inclined to gallantry, for this reafon, as well as upon account of his own deformity, that nobleman, would have been the last man I should have chofen. They alfo carried their inveteracy fo far, as to engage a perfon who wrote for bread, and is a difgrace to the navy, to fcandalize me in a fcurrilous publi cation, not unlike Bellmen's Verses. In travelling to the Head, however dull and melancholy my days were, I had great entertainment in the evenings; there being always fome person at the inns playing upon the harp, the favourite inftrument of the Welch. And the dit ties they played feemed to fuit the gloomy temperature of my mind. When I arrived at ConwayFerry, the wind was so high, that it was impracticable to go over. I was therefore obliged to remain at the ferry-house during the night. Here Here I was neceffitated to sup in the fame room with all those who were forced, like myself, to take up their abode at the inn. There being but one room below ftairs, and that, like the cobler's, ferving at once for "parlour, for kitchen, and "hall," we all fat together; only the parlour was divided from the kitchen by a curtain. And both were tolerably well filled. For, befides my fuit, which confifted of the two poftillions, a guide, two footmen, and three maids, the company was From the unfavourable appearance of the habitation, I was apprehenfive that my entertainment would have been as homely. But I was not only moft agreeably furprized with one of the beft fuppers I had ever fat down to at an inn, but with a small neat bed-room, and a very good bed, and every accommodation that could be hoped for in the best inus on the road. And all this at so trifling an expence, that it was not to be imagined the people of the houfe could get a reafonable profit. numerous. When I arrived at the Head, the packet was ready to fail. I found there a great number of people waiting to go over, but very few would venture, the sea being extremely boisterous. But as I neither wished for life, nor was apprehenfive of danger, it was very immaterial to me in what I therefore went aboard, and, ·ftate the sea was. |