Biron. Enter the King, with a paper. King. Ah me! Biron. [Aside.] Shot by heaven - Proceed, sweet Cupid; thou hast thump'd him with thy birdbolt under the left pap:-I'faith secrets. King. [Reads.] So sweet a kiss the golden sun To those fresh morning drops upon the rose, So ridest thou triumphing in my woe: And they thy glory through my grief will show : What, Longaville! and reading! listen, ear. Long. Ah me! I am forsworn. Biron. Why, he comes in like a perjure, wearing papers. [Aside. King. In love, I hope; Sweet fellowship in shame! [Aside. Biron. One drunkard loves another of the name. O sweet Maria, empress of my love! Did not the heavenly rhetorick of thine eye ('Gainst whom the world cannot hold argument,) Persuade my heart to this false perjury? Vows, for thee broke, deserve not punishment. If broken then, it is no fault of mine: Biron. [Aside.] This is the liver vein, which makes flesh a deity: A green goose, a goddess: pure, pure idolatry. God amend us, God amend! we are much out o' the way. Enter Dumain, with a paper. Long. By whom shall I send this?-Company! stay. [Stepping aside. Biron. [Aside.] All hid, all hid, an old infant Like a demi-god here sit I in the sky, And wretched fools' secrets heedfully o'er-eye. [play: More sacks to the mill! O heavens, I have my wish; Dumain transform'd: four wood-cocks in a dish! Dum. O most divine Kate! O most prophane coxcomb! [Aside. Dum. By heaven, the wonder of a mortal eye! Biron. By earth she is but corporal: there you lie. [Aside. Dum. As upright as the cedar. Her shoulder is with child. Biron. Ay, as some days; but then no sun must shine. [Aside. And I had mine. Dum. On a day, (alack the day!) Love, whose month is ever May, That I am forsworn for thee: [Aside. Thou for whom even Jove would swear, And deny himself for Jove, Turning mortal for thy love. This will I send; and something else more plain, Long. Dumain, [advancing.] thy love is far from King. Come, sir, [advancing.] you blush; as his You do not love Maria; Longaville I would not have him know so much by me. Biron. Now step I forth to whip hypocrisy.- King. Biron. Not you by me, but I betray'd to you: Soft; Whither away so fast? A true man, or a thief, that gallops so? Biron. I post from love; good lover, let me go. Enter Jaquenetta and Costard. Jaq. God bless the king! Dum. It is Biron's writing, and here is his name. [Picks up the pieces. Biron. Ah, you whoreson loggerhead, [to Cos-, tard.] you were born to do me shame.Guilty, my lord, guilty; I confess, I confess. King. What? Biron. That you three fools lack'd me fool to make up the mess; He, he, and you, my liege, and I, Are pick-purses in love, and we deserve to die. True, true; we are four :- Hence, sirs; away. Cost. Walk aside the true folk, and let the traitors stay. [Exeunt Cost. and Jaquenet. Biron. Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O let us em brace ! As true we are, as flesh and blood can be: The sea will ebb and flow, heaven show his face. Young blood will not obey an old decree: We cannot cross the cause why we were born; Therefore, of all hands must we be forsworn. King. What, did these rent lines show some love of thine ? Biron. Did they, quoth you? Who sees the heavenly Rosaline, That, like a rude and savage man of Inde, At the first opening of the gorgeous east, Bows not his vassal he d; and, strucken blind, Kisses the base ground with obedient breast? What peremptory eagle-sighted eye Dares look upon the heaven of her brow, That is not blinded by her majesty? King. What zeal, what fury hath inspir'd thee My love, her mistress, is a gracious moon; [now? She, an attending star, scarce seen a light. Biron. My eyes are then no eyes, nor I Biron : O, but for my love, day would turn to night! Of all complexions the cull'd sovereignty Do meet, as at a fair, in her fair cheek; Where several worthies make one dignity; Where nothing wants, that want itself doth seek. Lend me the flourish of all gentle tongues, Fye, painted rhetorick! O, she needs it not: To things of sale a seller's praise belongs; [blot. She passes praise: then praise too short doth A wither'd hermit, five-score winters worn, Might shake off fifty, looking in her eye: Beauty doth varnish age, as if new-born, And gives the crutch the cradle's infancy. O, tis the sun, that maketh all things shine! King. By heaven, thy love is black as ebony. Biron. Is ebony like her? O wood divine! A wife of such wood were felicity. O, who can give an oath? where is a book? That I may swear, beauty doth beauty lack: If that she learn not of her eye to look: No face is fair, that is not full so black. King. O paradox! Black is the badge of hell, The hue of dungeons, and the scowl of night; And beauty's crest becomes the heavens well. Biron. Devils soonest tempt, resembling spirits O, if in black my lady's brows be deckt, [of light. It mourns, that painting, and usurping hair, Should ravish doters with a false aspect; And therefore is she born to make black fair. Her favour turns the fashion of the days: For native blood is counted painting now; And therefore red, that would avoid dispraise, Paints itself black, to imitate her brow. Dum. To look like her, are chimney-sweepers black. [bright. Long. And, since her time, are colliers counted King. And Ethiops of their sweet complexion crack. [light. Dum. Dark needs no candles now, for dark is Biron. Your mistresses dare never come in rain, For fear their colours should be wash'd away. King. "Twere good, yours did; for, sir, to tell you plain, I'll find a fairer face not wash'd to-day. Biron. I'll prove her fair, or talk till dooms-day here. [she. King. No devil will fright thee then so much as Dum. I never knew man hold vile stuff so dear. Long. Look, here's thy love: my foot and her face see. [Showing his shoe. Biron. O, if the streets were paved with thine Dum. Ay, marry, there ;-some flattery for this evil. Long. O, some authority how to proceed; And where that you have vow'd to study, lords, As motion, and long during action, tires King. Saint Cupid, then! and, soldiers, to the field! [lords, Biron. Advance your standards, and upon them, Pell-mell, down with them! but be first advis'd, In conflict that you get the sun of them. Long. Now to plain-dealing; lay these glozes by; Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France? King. And win them too: therefore let us devise Some entertainment for them in their tents. Biron. First, from the park let us conduct them thither; Then, homeward, every man attach the hand SCENE I-Another part of the same. Enter Holofernes, Sir Nathaniel, and Dull. Hol. Satis quod sufficit. Nath. I praise God for you, sir: your reasons at dinner have been sharp and sententious; pleasant without scurrility, witty without affection, audacious without impudency, learned without opinion, and strange without heresy. I did converse this quondam day with a companion of the king's, who is intituled, nominated, or called, Don Adriano de Armado. Hol. Novi hominem tanquam te: His humour is lofty, his discourse peremptory, his tongue filed, his eye ambitious, his gait majestical, and his general behaviour vain, ridiculous, and thrasonical. He is too picked, too spruce, too affected, too odd, as it were, too peregrinate, as I may call it. Nath. A most singular and choice epithet. [Takes out his table book. Hol. He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument. I abhor such fanatical phantasms, such insociable and point-devise companions; such rackers of orthography, as to speak, dout, fine, when he should say, doubt; det, when he should pronounce debt; d, e, b, t; not d, e, t: he clepeth a calf, cauf; half, hauf; neighbour, vocatur, nebour; neigh, abbreviated, ne: This is abhominable, (which he would call abominable,) it insinuateth me of insanie; Ne intelligis domine to make frantick, lunatick. Nath. Laus Deo, bone intelligo. Hol. Bone?-bone, for bene: Priscian a little scratch'd; 'twill serve. Enter Armado, Moth, and Costard. Nath. Videsne quis venit? Hol. Video, et gaudeo. Arm. Chirra! Hol. Quare Chirra, not sirrah? [To Moth. Arm. Men of peace, well encounter'd. Hol. Most military sir, salutation. Moth. They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps. [To Costard aside. Cost. O, they have lived long in the alms-basket of words! I marvel, thy master hath not eaten thee for a word; for thou art not so long by the head as honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier swallowed than a flap dragon. Moth. Peace; the peal begins. Arm. Monsieur, [to Hol.] are you not letter'd? Moth. Yes, yes; he teaches boys the horn-book ;What is a, b, spelt backward with a horn on his head? Hol. Ba, pueritia, with a horn added. Moth. Ba, most silly sheep, with a horn-You hear his learning. Hol. Quis, quis, thou consonant? for that worthy's thumb: he is not so big as the end of his club. Hol. Shall I have audience? he shall present Hercules in minority: his enter and exit shall be Moth. The third of the five vowels, if you repeat strangling a snake; and I will have an apology them; or the fifth, if I. for that purpose. Hol. I will repeat them, a, e, i.— o, u. Arm. Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet touch, a quick venew of wit: snip, snap, quick and home! it rejoiceth my intellect: true wit. Moth. Offer'd by a child to an old man; which is wit-old. Hol. What is the figure? what is the figure? Hol. Thou disputest like an infant: go, whip thy gig. Moth. Lend me your horn to make one, and I will whip about your infamy circum circa; A gig of a cuckold's horn! Cost. An I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst have it to buy ginger-bread: hold, there is the very remuneration I had of thy master, thou half-penny purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg of discretion. O, an the heavens were so pleased, that thou wert but my bastard! what a joyful father wouldst thou make me! Go to, thou hast it ad dunghill, at the fingers' ends, as they say. Hol. Ó, I smell false Latin; dunghill for unguem. Arm. At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain. Arm. Sir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure and affection, to congratulate the princess at her pavilion, in the posteriors of this day; which the rude multitude call, the afternoon. Hol. The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is liable, congruent, and measurable for the afternoon the word is well cull'd, chose; sweet and apt, I do assure you, sir, I do assure. Moth. An excellent device! so, if any of the audience hiss, you may cry well done, Hercules! now thou crushest the snake! that is the way to make an offence gracious; though few have the grace to do it. Arm. For the rest of the worthies ?Hol. I will play three myself. Moth. Thrice-worthy gentleman! Arm. Shall I tell you a thing? Hol. We attend. Arm. We will have, if this fadge not, an antick. I beseech you, follow. Hol. Via, goodman Dull! thou hast spoken no word all this while. Dull. Nor understood none neither, sir. Hol. Allons! we will employ thee. Dull. I'll make one in a dance, or so; or I will play on the tabor to the worthies, and let them dance the hay. Hol. Most dull, honest Dull, to our sport, away. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-Another part of the same. Before Enter the Princess, Katharine, Rosaline, and Prin. Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart, Kath. He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy; Kath. A light condition in a beauty dark. out. Kath. You'll mar the light, by taking it in snuff; Therefore, I'll darkly end the argument. Ros. Look, what you do, you do it still i' the dark. Kath. So do not you; for you are a light wench. Ros. Indeed, I weigh not you; and therefore light. [for me. Arm. Sir, the king is a noble gentleman; and my familiar, I do assure you, very good friend :For what is inward between us, let it pass :-I do beseech thee, remember thy courtesy ;-I beseech thee, apparel thy head;-and among other importunate and most serious designs,-and of great import indeed, too;-but let that pass: for I must tell thee, it will please his grace (by the world) sometime to lean upon my poor shoulder; and with his royal finger, thus, dally with my excrement, with my mustachio: but, sweet heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no fable; some certain special honours it pleaseth his greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of travel, that hath seen the world: but let that pass.-The very all of all is, but, sweet heart, I do implore secrecy, that the king would have me present the princess, sweet chuck, with some delightful ostentation, or show, or pageant, or antick, or fire-work. Now, understanding that the curate and your sweet Kath. You weigh me not,-0, that's you care not self, are good at such eruptions, and sudden break- Ros. Great reason; for, Past cure is still past care. ing out of mirth, as it were, I have acquainted Prin. Well bandied both; a set of wit well play'd. you withal, to the end to crave your assistance. But Rosaline, you have a favour too : Hol. Sir, you shall present before her the nine Who sent it? and what is it? worthies.-Sir Nathaniel, as concerning some en- Ros. I would, you knew? tertainment of time, some show in the posterior of An if my face were but as fair as yours, this day, to be rendered by our assistance,-the My favour were as great; be witness this. king's command, and this most gallant, illustrate, Nay, I have verses too, I thank Biron : and learned gentleman,-before the princess; I The numbers true; and, were the numb'ring too, say, none so fit as to present the nine worthies. I were the fairest goddess on the ground: Nath. Where will you find men worthy enough I am compar'd to twenty thousand fairs. to present them? O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter ! Prin. Any thing like? Hol. Joshua, yourself; myself, or this gallant gentleman, Judas Maccabæus; this swain, because of his great limb or joint, shall pass Pompey the great; the page, Hercules. Arm. Pardon, sir, error: he is not quantity enough Ros. Much, in the letters; nothing in the praise My red dominical, my golden letter: Prin. Did he not send you twain? Kath. Yes, madam; and moreover, Some thousand verses of a faithful lover; A huge translation of hypocrisy, Vilely compil'd, profound simplicity. Mar. This, and these pearls, to me sent LongaThe letter is too long by half a mile. [ville; Prin. I think no less: Dost thou not wish in heart, The chain were longer, and the letter short? Mar. Ay, or I would these hands might never part. Prin. We are wise girls, to mock our lovers so. Ros. They are worse fools to purchase mocking so. That same Biron I'll torture ere I go. O, that I knew he were but in by the week! With that, they all did tumble on the ground, Like Muscovites, or Russians: as I guess, For, ladies, we will every one be mask'd; Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear; Ros. Come on then; wear the favours most in sight. Kath. But, in this changing, what is your intent? Prin. The effect of my intent is, to cross theirs : They do it but in mocking merriment; Prin. None are so surely caught, when they are And mock for mock is only my intent. catch'd, As wit turn'd fool: folly, in wisdom hatch'd, As gravity's revolt to wantonness. Mar. Folly in fools bears not so strong a note, As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote; Since all the power thereof it doth apply, To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity. Enter Boyet. Prin. Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face. Boyet. O, I am stabb'd with laughter! Where's her grace? Prin. Thy news, Boyet? That charge their breath against us? say, scout, say. I should have fear'd her, had she been a devil. Making the bold wag by their praises bolder. Their several counsels they unbosom shall Ros. But shall we dance, if they desire us to't? Prin, No; to the death, we will not move a foot: Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace: But, while 'tis spoke, each turn away her face. Boyet. Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's heart, And quite divorce his memory from his part. Prin. Therefore I do it; and, I make no doubt, The rest will ne'er come in, if he be out. There's no such sport, as sport by sport o'erthrown; To make theirs ours, and ours none but our own: So shall we stay, mocking intended game; And they well mock'd, depart away with shame. [Trumpets sound within. Boyet. The trumpet sounds; be mask'd, the maskers come. [The ladies mask. Enter the King, Biron, Longaville, and Dumain, in Russian habits, and masked; Moth, Musicians, and Attendants. Moth. All hail the richest beauties on the earth! Boyet. Beauties no richer than rich taffata. Moth. A holy parcel of the fairest dames, The ladies turn their backs to him. That ever turn'd their-backs-to mortal viewvs! Biron. Their eyes, villain, their eyes. Moth. That ever turn'd their eyes to mortal views! Out Boyet. True; out, indeed. Moth. Out of your favours, heavenly spirits vouchNot to behold [sufe Biron. Once to behold, rogue. Moth. Once to behold with your sun-beamed eyes, with your sun-beamed eyes Boyet. They will not answer to that epithet, You were best call it, daughter-beamed eyes. Moth. They do not mark me, and that brings me out. Biron. Is this your perfectness? be gone, you rogue. Ros. What would these strangers? know their minds, Boyet: If they do speak our language, 'tis our will Boyet. What would you with the princess? Boyet. Nothing but peace, and gentle visitation. |