8 wakes in a Morning fhe fcarce feems young enough to be the Mother of • her whom I carried to bed the Night before. I fhall take the Liberty to part with her by the firft Opportus nity, unless her Father will make her Portion fuitable to her real, not her • affumed Countenance. This I thought fit to let him and her know by your • Means I am, SIR, Your moft Obedient Humble Servant. I cannot tell what the Law, or the Parents of the Lady will do for this Injured Gentleman, but must allow he has very much Juftice on his fide. I have indeed very long obferved this Evil, and diftinguished thofe of our Women who wear their own, from thofe in borrowed Complections, by the Pits and the British. There does not need any great Difcernment to judge which are which. The British have a lively animated Afpect, the Pitts, tho' never fo Beautiful, have dead uninformed Countenances. The Muscles of a real Face fometimes fwell with soft Paffion, fudden Surprize, and. B 3 and are flushed with agreeable Confufions, according as the Objects before them, or the Ideas prefented to them, affect their Imagination. But the Pitts behold all things with the fame Air, whether they are Joyful or Sad; the fame fixed Infenfibility appears upon all Occafions. A Pit, tho' fhe takes all that Pains to invite the Approach of Lovers, is obliged to keep them at a certain Distance; a Sigh in a languishing Lover, if fetched too near her, would diffolve a Feature; and a Kifs fnatched by a Forward one, might transfer the Complexion of the Mistress to the Admirer. It is hard to fpeak of thefe falfe Fair Ones, without faying fomething uncomplaifant, but I would only recommend to them to confider how they like coming into a Room new Painted; they may affure themselves, the near Approach of a Lady who uses this Practice is much more offenfive. WILL. HONEYCOMB told us, one Day, an Adventure he once had with a Pit. This Lady had Wit, as well as Beauty, at Will; and made it her Bufinefs to gain Hearts, for no other Reafon, but to rally the Torments of her Lovers. She would make great Ad vances to infnare Men, but without any manner of Scruple break off when there was no Provocation. Her Ill-Nature and Vanity made my Friend very eafily Proof against the Charms of her Wit and Converfation; but her beauteous Form, inftead of being blemished by her Falfhood and Inconftancy, every Day increased upon him, and the had new Attractions every time he faw her. When fhe obferved WILL irrevocably her Slave, fhe began to use him as fuch, and after many fteps towards fuch a Cruelty, the at laft utterly banished him. The unhappy Lover ftrove in vain, by fervile Epiftles, to revoke his Doom; till at length he was forced to the laft Refuge, a round Sum of Mony to her Maid. This corrupt Attendant placed him early in the Morning behind the Hangings in her Miftrefs's DreffingRoom. He ftood very conveniently to obferve, without being feen. The Pict begins the Face the defigned to wear that Day, and I have heard him proteft fhe had worked a full half Hour before he knew her to be the fame Woman. As foon as he faw the Dawn of that Complexion, for which he had fo long languished, he thought fit to break B 4 from from his Concealment, repeating that of Cowley: Th' adorning Thee with so much Art, Is but a barb'rous Skill; "Tis like the Pois'ning of a Dart, THE Pia ftood before him in the utmoft Confufion; with the prettiest Smirk imaginable on the finifhed fide of her Face, pale as Ashes on the other. HONEYCOMB feized all her Gallypots and Washes, and carried off his Handkerchief full of Brushes, fcraps of Spanish Wool, and Phials of Unguents. The Lady went into the Country, the Lover was cured. IT is certain no Faith ought to be kept with Cheats, and an Oath made to a Pict is of it felf void. I would therefore exhort all the British Ladies to fingle them out, nor do I know any but Lindamira who fhould be exempt from Difcovery; for her own Complexion is fo delicate, that the ought to be allowed the Covering it with Paint, as a Punishment for chufing to be the worst Piece of Art extant, instead of the Mafter-piece of Nature. As for my part, who f who have no Expectations from Women, and confider them only as they are Part of the Species, I do not half so much fear offending a Beauty as a Woman of Senfe; I fhall therefore produce feveral Faces which have been in Publick these many Years, and never appeared; it will be a very pretty Entertainment in the Play-houfe, (when I have abolished this Cuftom) to fee fo many Ladies when they firft lay it down, incog. in their own Faces. IN the mean time, as a Pattern for improving their Charms, let the Sex ftudy the agreeable Statira. Her Features are enlivened with the Chearfulnefs of her Mind, and good Humour gives an Alacrity to her Eyes. She is Graceful without affecting an Air, and Unconcerned without appearing Carelefs. Her having no manner of Art in her Mind, makes her want none in her Perfon. HOW like is this Lady, and how unlike is a Pitt, to that Defcription Dr. Done rives of his Miftrefs? -----Her pure and eloquent Blood, Spoke in her Cheeks, and so distinctly wrought, |