1711 without any Disadvantage to themselves, or Prejudice No. 177. to their Families. It is but sometimes sacrificing a Saturday, Diversion or Convenience to the Poor, and turning the Sept. 22, usual Course of our Expences into a better Channel, This is, I think, not only the most prudent and con venient, but the most meritorious Piece of Charity, which we can put in Practice. By this Method we in some measure share the Necessities of the Poor at the same time that we relieve them, and make our selves not only their Patrons, but their Fellow Sufferers, Sir Thomas Brown in the last Part of his Religio Medici, in which he describes his Charity in several Heroic Instances, and with a noble Heat of Sentiments mentions that Verse in the Proverbs of Solomon, He that giveth to the Poor lendeth to the Lord: 'There is more Rhetorick in that one Sentence,' says he, 'than in Library of Sermons; and indeed if those Sentences were understood by the Reader, with the same Emphasis as they are delivered by the Author, we needed not those Volumes of Instructions, but might be honest by an Epitome.' This Passage in Scripture is indeed wonderfully per suasive, but I think the same Thought is carried much further in the New Testament, where our Saviour tells us in a most pathetick manner that he shall here after regard the cloathing of the Naked, the feeding of the Hungry, and the visiting of the Imprisoned, as Offices done to himself, and reward them accordingly, Pursuant to those Passages in Holy Scripture, I have some where met with the Epitaph of a charitable Man which has very much pleased me. I cannot recollect the Words, but the Sense of it is to this Purpose. What I spent I lost. What I possessed is left to others. What I gave away remains with me, Since I am thus insensibly engaged in Sacred Writ, I cannot forbear making an Extract of several Passages which I have always read with great Delight in the Book of Job. It is the Account_which that Holy Man gives of his Behaviour in the Days of his Prosperity, and if considered only as a human Composition, is a No. 177. finer Picture of a charitable and good-natured Man than 1711 Oh that I were as in months past, as in the days when God preserved me: When his candle shined upon my head, and when by his light I walked through darkness: When the Almighty was yet with me; when my Children were about me: When 1 washed my steps with butter, and the rock poured out rivers of oyl. When the ear heard me, then it blessed me; and when the Eye saw me it gave witness to me. Because I delivered the poor that cried, and the fatherless, and him that had none to help him. The blessing of him that was ready to perish came upon me, and I caused the Widow's heart to sing for joy. I was eyes to the blind, and feet was I to the lame; I was a father to the poor, and the cause which I knew not I searched out. Did not I weep for him that was in trouble, was not my soul grieved for the poor? Let me be weighed in an even ballance, that God may know mine integrity. If I did despise the cause of my man-servant or of my maid-servant when they con tended with me: What then shall I do when God riseth up? and when he visiteth what shall I answer him? Did not he that made me in the womb, make him? and did not one fashion us in the womb? If I have with-held the poor from their desire, or have caused the eyes of the widow to fail; or have eaten my morsel my self alone, and the fatherless hath not eaten thereof; If I have seen any perish for want of cloathing, or any poor without covering: If his loyns have not blessed me, and if he were not warmed with the fleece of my sheep: If I have lift up my hand against the fatherless when I saw my help in the gate: Then let mine arm fall from my shoulderblade, and mine arm be broken from the bone. If I have rejoiced at the Destruction of him that hated me, or lift up my self when evil found him. Neither have I suffered my mouth to sin, by wishing a curse to his soul. The stranger did not lodge in the street; but I opened my doors to the traveller. If my land cry cry against me, or that the furrows likewise thereof No. 177 complain: If I have eaten the fruits thereof without Saturday, mony, or have caused the owners thereof to lose their Sept. 22, 1711, life; Let thistles grow instead of wheat, and cockle instead of barley. L I am but too good a Judge of your Paper of the 15th Instant, which is a Master-Piece; I mean that of Jealousie: But I think it unworthy of you to speak of that Torture in the Breast of a Man, and not to mention also the Pangs of it in the Heart of a Woman. You have very judiciously, and with the greatest Penetration imagin able, considered it as Woman is the Creature of whom the Diffidence is raised; but not a Word of a Man who is so unmerciful as to move Jealousie in his Wife, and not care whether she is so or not. It is possible you may not believe there are such Tyrants in the World; but alas I can tell you of a Man who is ever out of Humour in his Wife's Company, and the pleasantest Man in the World every where else; the greatest Sloven at Home when he appears to none but his Family, and most exactly well-dressed in all other Places. Alas, Sir, is it of Course, that to deliver one's self wholly into a Man's Power without Possibility_of Appeal to any other Jurisdiction but to his own Re flexions, is so little an Obligation to a Gentleman that he can be offended and fall into a Rage, because my Heart swells Tears into my Eyes when I see him in a cloudy Mood? I pretend to no Succour, and hope for no Relief but from himself; and yet he that has Sense and Justice in every thing else, never reflects, that to come home only to sleep off an Intemperance, and spend all the Time he is there as if it were a Punishment, cannot but give the Anguish of a jealous Mind. He No. 178. 1711 He always leaves his Home as if he were going to Monday, Court, and returns as if he were entring a Gaol I Sept. 24, could add to this, that from his Company and his usual Discourse, he does not scruple being thought an aban doned Man as to his Morals. Your own Imagination will say enough to you concerning the Condition of me his Wife; and I wish you would be so good as to represent to him, for he is not ill-natured and reads you much, that the Moment I hear the Door shut after him, I throw my self upon my Bed, and drown the Child he is so fond of with my Tears, and often frighten it with my Cries; that I curse my Being; that I run to my Glass all over-bathed in Sorrows, and help the Utterance of my inward Anguish by beholding the Gush of my own Calamities as my Tears fall from my Eyes. This looks like an imagined Picture to tell you, but indeed this is one of my Pastimes. Hitherto I have only told you the general Temper of my Mind, but how shall I give you an Account of the Distraction of it? Could you but conceive how cruel I am one Moment in my Resentment, and, at the ensuing Minute, when I place him in the Condition my Anger would bring him to, how compassionate; it would give you some Notion how miserable I am, and how little I deserve it. When I remonstrate with the greatest Gentleness that is possible against unhandsome Appearances, and that married Persons are under particular Rules; when he is in the best Humour to receive this, I am answered only, That I expose my own Reputation and Sense if I appear jealous. I wish, good Sir, you would take this into serious Consideration, and admonish Husbands and Wives what Terms they ought to keep towards each other. Your Thoughts on this important Subject will have the greatest Reward, that which descends on such as feel the Sorrows of the Afflicted. Give me Leave to subscribe my self, Your unfortunate, humble Servant, CELINDA. 1711. I had it in my Thoughts, before I received the Letter No. 178. of this Lady, to consider this dreadful Passion in the Monday, Mind of a Woman; and the Smart she seems to feel, Sept. 24, does not abate the Inclination I had to recommend to Husbands a more regular Behaviour, than to give the most exquisite of Torments to those who love them, nay whose Torment would be abated if they did not love them. It is wonderful to observe how little is made of this inexpressible Injury, and how easily Men get into an Habit of being least agreeable where they are most obliged to be so. But this Subject deserves a distinct Speculation, and I shall observe for a Day or two the Behaviour of two or three happy Pair I am acquainted with, before I pretend to make a System of Conjugal Morality, I design in the first Place to go a few Miles out of Town, and there I know where to meet one who practises all the Parts of a fine Gentleman in the Duty of an Husband. When he was a Batchelor much Business made him particularly negligent in his Habit; but now there is no young Lover living so exact in the Care of his Person. One who asked why he was so long washing his Mouth, and so delicate in the Choice and Wearing of his Linnen? was answered, Because there is a Woman of Merit obliged to receive me kindly, and I think it incumbent upon me to make her Inclination go along with her Duty, If a Man would give himself leave to think, he would not be so unreasonable as to expect Debauchery and Innocence could live in Commerce together; or hope that Flesh and Blood is capable of so strict an Allegiance, as that a fine Woman must go on to improve her self 'till she is as good and impassive as an Angel, only to preserve a Fidelity to a Brute and a Satyr. The Lady who desires me for her Sake to end one of my Papers with the following Letter, I am perswaded thinks such a Perseverance very impracticable. 'Husband, Stay more at Home. 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