THE PROGRESS OF LEARNING.

THE fatal Morn arrives, and, oh!
To School the blubb'ring Youth must go,
Before the Muses' hallow'd shrine,
Each joy domestic to resign;
No more as erst, at break of day
To brush the early dews away,
But in ideal range to fly
Thro' fancied fields of Poetry:
Now gives Mamma her last caressing,
And fond Papa bestows his blessing;
Their soft endearments scarcely o'er,
The chaise drives rattling from the door.
In gay description could I shine,
Or were thy numbers, Homer, mine,
Then should my Muse harmonious show
How fast they journey'd, or how slow;
How from the east Aurora rose,
With fingers red, and redder nose;
Or, at the purple dawn's approach,
Rose Phœbus in his painted coach;
But, to be brief, we'll rest content,
With only saying-off he went.

So when, from out the Grecian fire
Of old, Æneas bore his sire,
The hero left with many a tear
Those plains, by Mem'ry made more dear,
And still in absence would his mind,
Recall the joys it left behind,

Still bless those happier days, ere Greece
O'erturn'd the gentle reign of peace,
When Heav'n propitious smil'd on Priam,
-Sed diverticulo in viam-

Our Youth the joys of home forgot,
Now grows contented with his lot;
On Virgil's sweets can dwell with pleasure,
With Tully pass his hours of leisure;
In verses play with skill his part,
Nay-say the Iliad all by heart.
Oft will he launch aloud in praise
Of earlier Greece's happier days,
When Kings liv'd peaceful in a cottage,
When children fed on sooty pottage,
Tho' now a-days they'll play their parts
As well on syllabubs and tarts,
When ev'ry hero was as tall
As Gog and Magog in Guildhall;
And by their prowess he can guess,
The Romans surely were no less.
He's not (if authors rightly tell us),
One of those harum-scarum fellows,
Who seek, and know no other pleasure,
Than that of eating and of leisure;
Who think the beauties of a classic,
Enough to make a very ass sick;
Who know no joys beyond the chace,
No recreation but a race;
By him far nobler joys are found
In Tully's arguments profound;
No dainties please him like the sweets
Of Homer's compound epithets.
At length on Isis' banks he views,
The walls belov'd by ev'ry Muse,
Those walls where gen'rous souls pursue
The arduous prize to Virtue due,

And school-men from the world withdrawn,
Dispute o'er sausages and brawn ;
VOL. II.

But here, alas! the ruthless train
Of studies new perplex his brain;
He now of nothing talks but Statics,
Geometry, and Mathematics,
Crosses the Asinorum Pons,
Solves the Parallelipepidons,
Explains the rays of light by prisms,
And arguments by syllogisms,
And night and day his mem'ry crams
Brimful of parallellograms;

By A's and B's exact defines
The wond'rous miracles of lines;
Ask you their names? I might as soon
Reckon the people in the Moon.
Had I an hundred brazen tongues,
An hundred sturdy carters' lungs,
An hundred mouths to tell them o'er,
"Twould take a century or more:
Talk of a flow'r of various dyes,
He'll prove you must not trust your eyes;
For what to us seems black or white,
Is only diff'rent rays of light;
And tho' some untaught writers tell,
That men had once the pow'r to smell,
Our modern scholar plainly shews,
"Tis but a tickling in the nose:
By solid proofs he can assure ye,
Non dari vacuum naturæ-
As well by demonstration shew,
Quod nihil fit ex nihilo-

That when Earth's convex face you tread,
Your feet moves slower than your head;
Solve any knotty point with ease,
And prove the Moon is not green cheese.

But fast the rolling years glide on,
And life's far better half is gone;
He soon to other thoughts aspires,
Accepts a living, and retires,

And soon immur'd in pars'nage neat
Enjoys his peaceable retreat.
As necessary to our story,
You'll ask was he a Whig or Tory?
But in this weighty point indeed
Historians are not all agreed;
However, to avoid all pother,
We'll grant he was or one or t'other;
Although perhaps he wisely chose,
That side whence most preferment rose.
He now directs his eager search
Thro' ev'ry æra of the church;
With cambric band, and double chin,
Exhorts his flock to flee from sin;
Bids them all evil ways eschew,
And always pay their tythes when due ;
Declares all sublunary joys
Are visions and delusive toys;
Bids worth neglected rear its head,
And fills the sinner's soul with dread;
Whilst gaping rustics hear with wonder,
His length of words and voice of thunder!

Long time his flock beheld him shine,
A zealous and a wise Divine,
Until, as ebbing life retires, .
A dean'ry crowns his last desires :
Behold him now devoid of care,
Snug seated in his elbow chair!
He cracks his jokes, he eats his fill,
On Sunday preaches,-if he will.

L

Solves doubts, as fast as others start 'em,
By arguments secundum artem;
Now puzzles o'er in warm debate,
Each weighty point of Church and State,
Or tells o'er, in facetious strain,
The pranks of early Youth again;
Recalls to Mem'ry School Disasters,
Unfinished Tasks, and angry Masters.
As erst to him, O heav'nly Maid!
Learning to me impart thy aid;
Oh! teach my feet like his to stray
Along Preferment's flow'ry way;
And if thy hallowed Shrine before,
I e'er thy ready aid implore,
Make me, O Sphere-descended Queen!
A Bishop, or at least-a Dean.

S.

It is no longer the vile biped man alone, whose crimes against society, and depredations on the property of others, furnish food (in the absence of sieges, battles, and other more specious and magnificent exercises of violence) for the diurnal penman, and the peruser of his lucubrations; but our very dogs and horses infringe the eighth commandment, and commit felony beyond the benefit of clergy. There are two melancholy instances of depravity in the newspapers of this month, which we meant to have transferred to our Chronicle of Remarkable Events, but thought them far too important to be passed over without a commentary.

"Shadwell Office.-A man named

AMONG ANIMALS.

Etas parentum, pejor avis, tulit
Nos nequiores, mox daturos
Progeniem vitiosiorem.

THE hackneyed lines of the satirist which we have selected for our motto, contain a truth which, however melancholy, is so generally admitted, that, aiming at some novelty in our communications to the public, we would have disdained even to quote or allude to them, had the human species alone been concerned; but, on the contrary, would have left lamentations over the gradual deterioration of mankind to those "slipper'd pantaloons" whom time has spared to bear unwearied testimony to the virtues of former times and the degeneracy of the present. Accordingly, our present anecdotes will neither be found to refer to the Parliamentary Reports upon Mendicity, nor to appeal to the learned magistrate, Mr Colquhoun's Essay on the Police of the Metropolis, who classes his offenders with as much regularity as a botanist his specimens,-nor to invoke the genius of Mr Owen, to devise an impracticable remedy for an incurable disease. These are all matters with which the public ear has been crammed even to satiety; and it was only upon discovering that the ulcer was extending itself more widely than even our worst fears had anticipated, that we thought of calling the attention of the public to some very novel phenomena, from which it appears, that the moral deterioration so generally lamented has not confined itself within the bounds of humanity, but is fast extending its influence to the lower orders of creation.

the East, made a complaint before the sitting Magistrates against a horse for stealing hay. The constable said, that the horse came regularly every night to the coach-stands in St George's, and ate his bellyfull, and would then gallop away. He defied the whole of the parish officers to apprehend him; for, if they attempted to go near him while he was eating, he would up with his heels and kick at them, or run at them, and if they did not go out of the way he would bite them: he therefore thought it best to state the case to the Magistrates.

Well,

"One of the Magistrates. Mr Constable, if you should be annoyed again by this body in the execution of your duty, you may apprehend him, if you can, and bring him before us to answer your complaints."

"Hatton-Garden.-A Canine Robber.-Mrs Knight and another lady gave information of being robbed by a dog in the following singular manner : She stated, that as she and her sister were returning about six o'clock in the preceding evening from St Pancras Church towards Battle Bridge, a hairy dog, resembling a drover's or shepherd's dog, unaccompanied by any person, jumped suddenly up from the road side, and laying hold of the ridicule she had in her hand with his teeth, forcibly snatched it from her, and crossing off the road, made his escape. Her ridicule contained a pound note, a sovereign, eighteen shillings in silver, a silver thimble, a pair of silver spectacles, and several other articles. The constable stated, that a dog answering the same description attacked a poor woman on Saturday near the

Veterinary College, and robbed her of a bundle, containing two shirts, some handkerchiefs, and some other things, with which he ran away; and that the poor woman was so frightened, it had nearly cost her her life. There were several other charges made against the same dog, which is supposed to have been trained up to the business, and that his master must be at some place not far distant. The officers undertook to be on the alert to apprehend this depredator, or else to shoot him." We repeat our lamentation. These are indeed melancholy instances of depravity in the lower orders! Here we find not only the dog, the natural protector of our property, commencing depredations upon it, but even the horse -the Houyhnhnm himself-totally degenerating from his natural innocence of character, and conducting himself like an absolute yahoo.

A stern moralist may indeed observe, that something of this kind might have been anticipated from the dog: his alliance with those nightly robbers, the fox and the wolf, prepared us for suspicion; and his loyalty to his chief, like that of an ancient Highlander or Borderer, has been always deemed consistent with a certain negligence of the strict rules of property. Gilbertfield, that "Imp of fame," as he was christened by Burns, has already acknowledged and apologised for a degree of laxity of morals in this particular. See the Last Dying Words of Bonny Heck, a famous Greyhound in the shire of Fife.

"Now Honesty was ay my Drift, An innocent and harmless Shift, A Kail-pot-lid gently to lift,

or Amry-Sneck.

Shame fa the Chafts, dare call that Thift, quo' bonny Heck."

But whatever suspicions may have fallen on the dog, the conduct of the horse, until this unfortunate and public disclosure, had left his character untainted even by suspicion ; nor could it possibly have been supposed that he could have wanted a halter for any other service than that of tying him to his stall. There might be, perhaps, here and there, a Highland pony (by the way, we had one of that kind our selves), who could too well understand the mode of opening a country stable door, and pull the bobbin till the latch came up, with the intelligence of Red Riding-hood herself; nay, who had

even become so well acquainted with the more complicated mechanism of the lock of the corn chest, that it was not found advisable to leave the key in it. But as late antiquaries of the Gothic race seem disposed to question the title of the Mountain Celt to the name of Man, we may well deny the title of his stump'd, shaggy, dwarfish Pony, to be called Horse. At any rate, these acts of petty larceny, on the part of the dog or horse, can never be compared with the acts of street robbery imputed to the ill-advised quadrupeds whose misconduct has given occasion to this article.

It frequently happens, however, that a glance at the annals of past ages diminishes our estimate of the atrocity of the present, and consoles those too nervous moralists who are shocked at the increased depravity of our own times. Without, therefore, attempting any plea for the padding attempts of the dog, or the arts of stouthrief and sorning committed by the horse in question, and that upon the pittance of hay belonging to a stand of hackney coachmen, in which he might therefore have been compared to a robber of the poors' box. Without, we repeat, having the least intention of advocating so frail a cause, we proceed to report a few facts which have come to our knowledge, and may serve to shew that, after all, such instances of felony are not without example in the animal kingdom. Indeed a proverb current in the border counties, which says, some will hund their dog whare they dar'na gang themsel,' seems to indicate, that although there were varieties of the canine species that might give themselves to discover and catch the encroaching thieves of a different tribe, yet there were others who assisted their masters in the same trade, and even excelled them in boldness and address; this perhaps may be elucidated in the sequel.

66

Scottish bar, was Advocate-Depute upon the occasion.

Murdieston occupied a farm on the north bank of the Tweed, and nearly opposite the ancient baronial castle of Traquair; Millar, the other Minion of the Moon," lived with him as his shepherd; and they laboured in their vocation of sheep-stealing for years, with unsuspected diligence and perseverance. While returning home with their stolen droves, they avoided, even in the night, the roads along the banks of the river, or those that descended to the valley through the adjoining glens. They chose rather to come along the ridge of mountains that separate the small river of Leithen from the Tweed. But even here there was sometimes danger, for the shepherds occasionally visit their flocks even before day; and often when Millar had driven his prey from a distance, and while he was yet miles from home, and the weather-gleam of the eastern hills began to be tinged with the brightening dawn, he has left them to the charge of his dog, and descended himself to the banks of the Leithen, off his way, that he might not be seen connected with their company. Yarrow, although between three and four miles from his master, would continue, with care and silence, to bring the sheep onward to the ground belonging to Murdieston's farm, where his master's appearance could be neither a matter of question nor surprise.

or

Adjoining to the thatched farmhouse was one of those old square towers, or peel houses, whose picturesque ruins were then seen namenting the course of the river, as they had been placed alternately along the north and south bank, generally from three to six hundred yards from it--sometimes on the shin, and sometimes in the hollow, of a hill. In the vault of this tower, it was the practice of these men to conceal the sheep they had recently stolen; and while the rest of their people were absent on Sunday at the Church, they used to employ themselves in cancelling with their knives the earmark, and impressing with a hotiron a large O upon the face, that covered both sides of the animal's nose, for the purpose of obliterating the brand of the true owner. While his

accomplices were so busied, Yarrow kept watch in the open air, and gave notice, without fail, by his barking, of the approach of those who were not of the fancy.

That he might vary the scene of his depredations, Millar had one night crossed the Tweed, and betaken himself to a wild farm among the mountains of Selkirkshire; and as the shepherds have wonderfully minute knowledge of localities, he found no difficulty in collecting part of a flock, and bringing away what number he judged convenient. Sheep are very loth to descend a hill in the night time, and more so to cross a river. Millar, to keep as clear as possible of the haunts of men, on his return, brought his drove over the shoulder of Wallace's hill, opposite, and intended to swim them across a pool in the river Tweed. But his prey being taken from the most remote part of the farm, happened to be mostly old ewes (of all kinds of sheep the most stubborn in their propensities); and all the exertions of a very active man, intimately acquainted with the habits of the animals, and assisted by the most sagacious dog probably ever known, were found inadequate to overcome the reluctance of the sheep to take the river. Millar continued to exert himself until the dawn of the morning warned him that any further effort was inconsistent with his habitual caution. Still he was unwilling to relinquish his booty, since, could he only get the sheep across the river, he was within little more than a quarter of a mile from the old tower. He therefore left the future conduct of the enterprise, as he had often done before, to Yarrowcrossed the river himself, and went home, encouraging the dog by his voice, while he was yet not too distant, so as to risk being heard by some early riser. The trust-worthy dog paused not, nor slackened his exertions-the work was now all his own ;-such had been his efforts, as he furiously and desperately drove in first one flank of the drove and then another, that two of the ewes were forced from the bank into the river, and were drowned, as they could not regain their situations for the pressure of their companions-but he was finally unsuccessful-for he, too, knew the danger of being seen in the broad light of the morning driving sheep where sheep shou'd na

be." The ewes were observed, in the course of the ensuing day, wending their weary way homeward, and half covered with a new keel, with which Millar had himself marked them, in a small sheep-fold, in a lonely place on his way. Millar himself was astonished at the stubbornness of the sheep, and the persevering energy of his dog. And he told the story to a respectable sheep-farmer in prison, while under sentence of death.

Murdieston and Millar suffered death, and Yarrow was generally supposed to have suffered the same fate. Nay, his dying speech was cried through the streets of Edinburgh, along with that of his master. But as we have heard of a person unexpectedly reprieved, who had the pleasure of purchasing his own last speech, it is certain that Yarrow had an opportunity to have done the same, if he had possessed such a taste, or means to indulge it. This celebrated dog was purchased by a sheep-farmer in the neighbourhood, but did not take kindly to honest courses, and his master having apparently no work of a different capacity in which to engage him, he was remarked to show rather less sagacity than the ordinary shepherd's dog.

The case of Millar, although curious, is not singular. A young gentleman of fortune and fashion, lately residing as a visitor in Edinburgh, was the master of a beautiful and accomplished spaniel bitch, which, in its way, was as much an adept in irregular appropriation as Yarrow himself, and had in all probability been, like him, educated to steal for the benefit of his master. It was some time ere his new master, who had bought the animal from a person who dealt in selling dogs, became aware of this ir regularity of morals, and he was astonished and teazed by the animal bringing home articles which he had picked up in an irregular manner. But when he perceived that the spaniel proceeded upon system, he used to amuse his friends by causing her to give proofs of her sagacity in the Spartan art of privately stealing, putting, of course, the shop-keepers where he meant she should exercise her faculty, on guard as to the issue.

The process was curious, and excites some surprise at the pains which must have been bestowed to qualify the ani

So soon as

mal for these practices. the master entered a shop, the dog seemed to avoid all appearance of recognizing or acknowledging any connexion with him, but lounged about with an indolent, disengaged, and independent sort of manner, as if she had come into the shop of her own accord. In the course of looking over some wares, his master indicated, by a touch on the parcel and a look towards the spaniel, that which he desired she should appropriate, and then left the shop. The dog, whose watchful eye caught the hint in an instant, instead of following his master out of the shop, continued to sit at the door, or lie by the fire, or watch the counter, until she observed the attention of the people of the shop withdrawn from the prize which she wished to secure. Whenever she saw an opportunity of doing so unobserved, she never failed to jump upon the counter with her fore feet, possess herself of the gloves, or whatever else had been pointed out to her, and escape from the shop to join her master. It is easy to conceive for what purposes this animal's sagacity had been thus perverted, but it would be difficult to form a probable guess at the particular method of training her to this mode of peculation.

We knew well a gentleman, in the profession of the law (to which his worth and honour rendered him an ornament), who used to give an account of an embarrassing accident which befell him on a journey to London, and which may serve as a corollary to our tale of the spaniel. In this gentleman's youth (probably between the 1750 and 1760), the journey betwixt Edinburgh and London was usually performed on horseback. The traveller might either ride post, or, if willing to travel more economically, he bought a horse, and sold him at the end of his journey. The gentleman of whom we speak, who was a good judge of horses as well as a good horseman, had chosen the latter mode of travelling, and had sold the horse on which he rode from Scotland, so soon as he arrived in London. With a view to his return, he went to Smithfield to purchase a horse the evening before he set out northwards. About dusk a handsome horse was offered to him at so cheap a rate, that he was led to suspect the animal to be unsound: as he could, however, dis