deemed needless, with so many charges hanging over his head, and so many warrants out against him, to bring forward Mrs. Soaper as a complainant, at the present moment, with respect to the outrage committed on herself. It was with no small satisfaction that I placed her in her husband's carriage, when our returning train reached the Botheram Road Station. No five-mile walk for me that evening! I must take my seat beside her, and dine at the Vicarage. Poor lady! she was as smart, or smarter, (thanks to the Chadsminster dressmaker) than when she left home in the morning, but in other respects she was so altered that I thought her husband and daughter would hardly know her. In sporting phrase she was dead beat." And more than that: her whole system had experienced such a shock, that I quite expected (and the event realized the expectation) that she would have a nervous fever. But For the present, however, excitement kept her from giving way altogether; and the Bishop's kind. messages, and hearty sympathy had cheered her as much as she was capable of being_cheered. still she had a load at her heart. It was not that she had been shamefully outraged and terrified; not that her costly dress had been ruined; not that she had been the laughing-stock of a crowd. No, the trouble lay deeper than all these; and thus she gave it vent: "O, Mr. Dove, to think that the Marchioness and Lady Adeliza should have seen me in such a predicament! To think that I should have appealed to them, and they should have disowned me! Ah! and once disowned in that quarter, is disowned for ever. The Marchioness is the most particular woman living. She has never taken the smallest notice of the Miss Rashleighs since they put on some of their brother's clothes the night they were acting charades at Barlington Abbey,— their own father's house. And I,-good heavens, Mr. Dove, she has seen me dressed in man's clothes from head to foot, and a black wig, and black moustaches, on the platform of a railway station! O she will never forgive it! I shall never set foot again within the gates of Thorswoldestone Castle !” CHAPTER VIII. AN APRIL FOOL. 66 and some have greatness thrust upon them." Twelfth Night. For the last three or four months my daily life at Roost has assumed quite a different complexion. I am not altogether satisfied with myself that so it should be, but so it is: and I note the circumstance in order that I may be more watchful, and try and discipline myself more carefully against giving way to depression of spirits, and against having the tone of my mind affected by trifling external circumstances, as has been the case during the earlier part of my residence here. Before Christmas I lived in a smoky room with a blackened ceiling and a dingy paper; and the good folks at the Vicarage turned a cold shoulder" upon me. I believe the consequence was that I was beginning to think Roost the most dismal spot I had ever seen, its Church the most dilapidated, its school the most ill managed, its people the most hopelessly depraved, and the Curate the most unlucky placed man that could be found anywhere. Now, my chimney does not smoke; there is a cheerful paper on the walls, and a coat of fresh whitewash over my head. And the Soapers, though very much the same, I suppose, in other respects, are friendly-disposed towards me. So Roost seems to have its full share of sunshine; the present dilapidation of the Church only suggests what its beauty will be when properly restored; the shortcomings of Mr. Ferrall have spurred me on to see how much may be done with the children under a different system; among the people I observe symptoms which encourage me, and I begin to think that I am on the whole well suited to Roost, and that Roost suits me. If I could only find a house for my mother, I think the Vicar would not oppose her coming as he did at first, and then I should have nothing to wish for on my own account; I should be well content to live and die here. I dare say I should not have been half as well content as I am now if I had experienced no reverses of fortune, and if my destiny had been to pass my days in the midst of ease and luxury, as squire of Verdon Hall. Certainly the discipline of "roughing it," as the expression is, calls forth qualities which can never be left in abeyance without serious detriment to the character. And, paradoxical as it may seem, I do not think that I have ever had so large a share of real cheerfulness as I have experienced since those losses and crosses fell on us which seemed most likely to destroy it for ever. Autolycus, the rogue, was a good adviser in one respect, at least: "Jog on, jog on the footpath way, And merrily hent the stile-a: I am sure I have blessings enough on all sides to encourage me to "jog on" cheerily "inter omnes viæ vitæque varietates" (as runs, if I remember right, the old prayer for such as go on pilgrimage :) ay, and to give me spirit to bound manfully over every stile that threatens to stop me in running the race that is set before me. And therefore I hope and trust that I shall give way to no more morbid depression of spirits, because there is every now and then a cloudy day. "Some days must be dark and dreary." But I think that, for the most part, a bracing air accompanies them, to strengthen and invigorate. I have sometimes wondered whether our Vicar's dyspepsia and hypochondriacism would not disappear, if, instead of living in arm chairs with spring cushions, upon three courses and dessert, he was compelled to live on sixpence a day, and to work for it. However, I had better mind my own business, and mend myself, instead of speculating upon the proper method of improving my neighbour. And it ill becomes me to criticize poor Mr. Soaper, for I am sure he has been very kind to me, and has volunteered the concession of several things towards which he was certainly not predisposed, simply because he has seen me anxious about them. The night-school is a case in point; it certainly has answered capitally, and has given me a hold over Jacob Ashe, and a score of other wild lads, which I do not think I could have gained in any other way. ap And strange to say, this and half a dozen other things which have been my encouragement since Christmas have flowed out of that uncomfortable scene at the Vicarage. But for that, there would have been no appeal to the Bishop; but for the peal to the Bishop, there would have been no journey to Chadsminster; and but for the outrage committed on Mrs. Soaper during that journey, I suppose I should never have got upon a comfortable footing at the Vicarage. As it was, they very much overvalued my services on that occasion. I only did by Mrs. Soaper what common humanity would have obliged me to do by any one in the same distressing circumstances: And as I have said, much too high a value was set upon what was done; but the most remarkable thing connected with the whole business is, that it was not so much the service I rendered Mrs. Soaper on the railway platform that made her my fast friend, as one of a very different kind, with respect to which it was quite a chance whether I had not given dire offence. When I was talking over the events of that day with Harry,- (whom, I own, I thought positively unfeeling in the view which he took of the disaster,) I could not help alluding to poor Mrs. Soaper's ap prehension that the doors of Thorswoldestone Castle would be closed upon her, in consequence of her involuntary masquerading; and I added my conviction that such an exclusion would be felt more keenly than even the treatment she had received from Mr. Larkin. In this opinion, however, I was altogether wrong, and did the lady great injustice; for a very serious illness was the result of the fright and distress she had undergone, and she was confined to her room for many weeks. The anxiety and alarm produced by her indisposition brought out the best parts of the Vicar's character, and, for the time the state of suspense lasted, his thoughts seemed always on others, and never on himself. How one-sided and unfair do I continually find my judgment of others to be! I detect myself laying hold of one foible or defect in their characters, and assume them to be made up of that and nothing else. I suppose the very worst of us have some good and loveable qualities. I will try and see these more, and the others less in those with B B |