sma' children, in "decency and order," as the inspired Ayrshire gauger hath it! MAJOR.-We are all attention. LAIRD.-Just let me clear my specs, and tak' a toothfu' of-we'll no' say what-to dislodge the cob-webs frae my craig! Noo, then, "lend us your lugs," as Mark Anthony said at the wake o' Julius Cæsar! THE BLACKSMITH AND MAHOUN. 1. I sing a man-no man of arms was he, But of a blacksmith, 'yclept John Carlew. LAIRD.-Haud your tongue man, and let a bodie read on: II. John was an Irishman-most modern bards On Erin's wrongs-and spend some thousand words On that eternal theme-emancipation. All this I leave to those who rule the nation, Whether in bar-room or in Parliament, And will at once proceed with my narration, The Muse her aid most kindly having lent. For, though somewhat 'gainst rule, I asked that aid Ere I my pen upon the paper laid! MAJOR.-I hugely approve of the course pursued in this instance, by the Milesian birch-flourisher! Nothing can be more teazing and impertinent than for a great hulking poetaster to be invoking the Nine, when he should be attending to the matter in hand. LAIRD. I tell you what it is, Crabtree,-if ye dinna reserve your comments till I am done, sorra anither line will you get frae me! MAJOR.-I sit corrected! overly crusty, agriculturalist. Perge good, but LAIRD.-Ye wad mak a saint crusty! III. Our hero never thought about to-morrow; And drank, and joked, and sung from morn till night: The rising sun saw him go forth, the vest Al moon convoyed him home with her chaste Of work or want, he never thought at all IV. Then frowned mine host, and barred the hostel door When he approached, and grimly spoke of law, And jails, and sheriff-officers;—no more The foaming greybeard waiting him he saw. Ere this I should have sung, how John, one day Nay, frown not!-I will tip you what's as "Three wishes-what you please-come, speak your mind; "My name's Saint Patrick,"-here John humbly bowed. "I'm sure your worship's glory is too kind— "May they who grasp this hammer-'tis prime stuff "Work on like blazes till I cry, enough!" VII. "Granted!" quoth Patrick. "Secondly," said John, "Your Highness sees this two-armed aizy chair, "May he who sits on it be kept thereon "As long's I plaze, though he should writhe and tear "Like my ould bull-dog, bearded in his lair!" "You have your wish!-What next? Come, quickly speak it, "The sun has set-I'm too long here, I swear!" Cries John-"When I put money in my pocket "Until I say 'Come out may it there stay!" The saint he winked, and slowly rode away. DOCTOR.-Craving your pardon, Bonnie Braes, why did not your vulcanic friend crave for an unlimited supply of lush? LAIRD. Wha can tell! Maybe he kenned that the honest man had taken the pledge, and that, consequently, the grog, coming frae sic a quarter, would be overly strong of the water. But let me gang on : VIII. John spent the seven years in rarest bliss; He drank from matins till the vesper song,But fleeting is all human happiness, And the sad day came round at length, ere long. "Come," quoth Mahoun, "be smart, there, come along, "I've much to do!" "Be aisy, now, my dear! "I can't conceive you are so very throng, "I'll be with you directly, never fear: "Take up this hammer-there's a good soul -do, "And bear a hand to finish this horse-shoe!" IX. Nick forthwith bared his brawny hirsute arm, He could not halt! His limb did quickly fly Exclaimed, " By Jove I am a verdant fool! "A good joke this!-but stop it, now Carlew! "My bones are breaking! Stop John, stop,pray do!" LAIRD There might hae been reason in what ye say, but it wad'na hae convened with the rhyme. XIII. Suppose John free again with seven years more, And these dispersed like vapour in the blast. Hornie this time would darken not his door, But called him out, and off with him did haste. O'er hill, and plain, and valley quick they passed, The Fiend was sulky, so he would not speak. He had determined not a word to waste On such a knave. But then John looked so meek, Told stories and sung songs with so much art, That, in the end, he gained the Foul Thief's heart. XIV. "Your honor, as I hear, can change your shape "To what you plaze!" "True," quoth old Harry, "true!" I much wonder that after such provocation he did not carry away the gable of the build-I ing with him! LAIRD.-Listen to the rest of the ballad, if ye can keep frae hearing yoursel' speaking sae lang! pas-I "I'm ready to go wid you-here's a chair, "Sit down your grace-sure that's a trifling boon! "Till I a bottle and a crust prepare "To comfort us upon the road." The D-1 Complied, because at times he can be civil! XII. When John saw this he chuckled in his sleeve, "Rest there, ould buck!" "What's that," cried Nick, "you say?" Quoth John, "Although to pain you much I grieve, "I'm thinking I wont budge wid you to-day; "So just divart yourself as best you may!" The gull'd one smell'd a rat, and strove to rise, But sore against his grain was forced to stay; At which he foamed, and fire flashed from his eyes, He banned our hero, and he banned St. Peter, In oaths which will not fall into our metre ! DOCTOR-Why not anathematize St. Patrick, who was the cause of all this coil and pother? And then he seemed a lion, and an ape, An eagle, jackdaw, hedgehog, and sea-mew. "But ne'er can I believe," quoth John," that you Can coin yourself to cash. Sure you cannot!" "Look here, you doubter!" And forthwith he flew Into his hand a bright, new-minted groat! The blacksmith pouched his plunder in a jiffy, And sought his native cabin by the Liffey! XV. Brief now our tale. John kept the mammon safe, Till from his covenant he was set free. He was to have as much as he could quaff, And all life long remain at liberty. And though sore nettled was Mahoun, yet he Was glad, alone, to seek his den again. The blacksmith spent his days in revelry, And whilst the breath was in him swilled amain. had a moral-something 'bout a sotBut which, unluckily, I have forgot! MAJOR. There is something mightily conve nient, at times, in a short memory! I would defy Esop himself to draw a practical conclusion from the veritable legend which has just been recited in our hearing. As I am an aquarian at present, dedicate this cheroot to the prosperity of the Laird's poetical pedagogue! May he soon obtain promotion commensurate to his abilities, and the patriarchal number of his olive branches! LAIRD. I thank you, Cullpepper, in the name of the Hibernian Squeers. When you mak' oot your lang threatened visit to Bonnie-braes, I must get him up to meet you, or may be I'll bring him to the Shanty at the vacation time. He is quite an original, and has played mony a strange part in the serio-comic drama of life. But, for ony sake, rax me the jug! That reading has made me dry as a pinch of Mr. McMullin's Lundy Foot snuff! DOCTOR.-I am sorry you are so drouthy, for our work is yet far from done; have you finished the book you were on the other day? LAIRD. Is it me ye're speerin' at? DOCTOR.-Yes, have you finished the Mormons yet? LAIRD.-Ave, man! and a queer buik yon is. I wadna hae missed the reading o't for saxpence. MAJOR.-It is undoubtedly a very spirited production, and the public is much indebted to Mr. Gunnison. DOCTOR.-I think the women's rights associations should bestir themselves to combat the doctrines laid down respecting polygamy. Let me read you, Major, some comical extracts that amused me exceedingly, and show the racy style in which the book is written. I dare say you remember the passage:-"The romantic notion of a single love is derided, and met by calling attention, to the case of parental affection; where the father's good-will is bestowed alike on each of his many children; and they pretend to see a more rational application of a generous sour in loving more than one wife, than in the bigotry of a partial adhesion." LAIRD.-That's maist awfu' doctrine, the Mormons maun ken DOCTOR.-Never mind what the Mormons ken, Laird-just let me finish my extracts first,-listen, Major:-"Every unmarried woman has a right to demand a man in marriage, on the ground of the privilege of salvation; and the president who receives the petition must provide for her; and he has the authority to command any man he deems competent to support her, to seal her to himself in marriage, and the man so ordered must show just cause and impediment why it should not be done, if he dislikes the union; or else be considered contumacious and in danger of the Council." Here is another morceau :-" It is further maintained that there is great disparity in numbers between the sexes, and that the predominance is more than can be accounted for from war, the dangers of the sea, and other perils, and therefore nature indicates the propriety of plurality, as 'marriage is honourable to all.' MAJOR.-I presume, then, the inference to be drawn is, that a share of a man is better than to have no property in him at all. DOCTOR -Precisely, for is not the time near at hand, predicted by Isaiah, when seven women shall take hold of the skirt of one man, and say, we will eat our own bread, but let us be called by thy name. MAJOR.-So the Mormons, at least, say, and the men take precious good care to fulfil the prediction to the letter, for Mr. Gunnison represents that the extra wives "most frequently pay their own way by sewing and other female accomplishments." LAIRD. It's an even down shame to hear you twa advocating polygamy in sic a fashion. DOCTOR.-Advocate polygamy, Laird. Heaven forbid, I have always found one wife enough at a time. I'm a peaceable man, and hate disturbance; no polygamy for me. MAJOR. And considering, Laird, that during fifty odd years I have not yet "sealed unto myself" one even. You may be sure that I do not court the possession of seven. DOCTOR.-The bare idea puts me in a fever. LAIRD.-Ye're just twa ne'er-do-weels that dinna deserve that Mrs. Grundy should sew on a button on your breeks for the next twal month. DOCTOR.-When will Mr. Maclear have the book out, Major? ticism nor controversy are his aim. To use his MAJOR- Why, the having to publish a second, and now a third edition of that most extraordinary work. LAIRD-Man, you're joking; surely it's no pos sible that all Uncle Tom's gone already. MAJOR-It's true as gospel, Laird; there's not a copy to be had for love or money until Mr. Maclear's third edition, which is almost finished, comes out. LAIRD-Well, that beats a'; but it's no to be wondered at gin a body thinks o' the buik. I dinna like scarce to tak it up noo; that wee lammie Eva's death, maks a bairn o' me; and I canna read puir Tam's trials without feeling a tear on my cheek. DOCTOR-Uncle Tom's Cabin is alike a proof of the consummate skill with which Mrs. Stowe knows how to address herself to the weak points of our nature, and of the dross with which our hearts are filled. MAJOR-Pray, be intelligible. Doctor. Have you been borrowing Dr. Stowell's microscope lately for a minute examination of the parasitical emotions of the heart? DOCTOR.-NO! but I have been looking into my own, and I could not forbear asking myself, after reading Uncle Tom, the question "Am I a Christian."-and, really, I was puzzled to account for my feelings, or weakness.-which ever you please. It was the week before Easter, and I had been studying, carefully, our blessed Lord's eventful life on earth from his birth to his death, and ashamed am I to say, that the recital of all his sufferings and temptations-the recollection of the full satisfaction offered for all my sins-the image of his pure childhood, all these failed to make me exclaim aloud, "Shall man alone be mute? Come rich and poor! come a!l mankind, and bathe those feet in tears!" I do not believe that it is much more difficult to touch my heart than my neighbor's, I therefore think that Mrs. Stowe's having done what St. John's Gospel failed to do, is a proof of the deceitfulness of my heart, and of her consummate skill in so striking the chords as to make our weak nature vibrate and respond to the touch. LAIRD. That thocht, Doctor, maks me feel quite ashamed o' mysel',-vou've pit it in a light I wad na ha thocht on. Weel, I hope Maclear's new edition will a' sell. MAJOR.-There's no doubt of that he is printing it by itself, and with the cream of the new work, "the Key to Uncle Tom," added.—The Key, by itself, is too full of statistics, to be generally popular, but the extracts from it will form a most interesting addendum. Were you at the last meeting of the Canadian Institute, Doctor? MAJOR-In about a week. I advised him to prepare a large edition. It is so interesting that every one will buy it who desires facts in the history of humanity, on which to indulge in re- DOCTOR.-Yes; and very much gratified I was ection. What I like in the book is, that the-there were some capital addresses, and I was so riter has not undertaken too much; neither cri- struck with Mr. Draper's address, that I have in DOCTOR.-Almost entirely to his labors and those of the Committee. The President delivered a very feeling speech in response to the address and offering which his departure called forth. LAIRD.-Ye maun hae a great deal to do, siting sae mony places. I heard tell o' your being at the Mechanics' Institute and at the Yacht Club, and I dinna ken whaur beside, can you no tell us something anent them? serted it in the Magazine, that our readers may nect it with "racing," because at regattas prizes share in the pleasure I derived from it, Laird. It are run for. Yachting, properly considered, is is very gratifying to learn that the affairs of the to a commercial and maritime people a most adInstitute are in so flourishing a position. mirable means of operating favorably on the chaMAJOR.-That is owing, in a great measure, is racter of youth, by inclining the national taste in it not, to the late President, Capt. Lefroy's zeal a direction likely to be useful to some of the most and tact? important interests of the country. It has been asserted of the English Yacht Clubs. by many writers, including foreigners, that a marked improvement is perceptible in the character of that portion of the youth of the country who have vee-adopted that amusement in preference to others, and such has been the effect of the impetus given by the establishment of yacht clubs to the science and art of ship-building, that the commercial and naval marine of England, previously the slowest, DOCTOR.With pleasure. To begin with the has latterly, in many instances, surpassed every Mechanics Institute; I had first a very good cup other in speed. It is said that the Yacht Clubs of coffee. The inner man thus fortified, I was of England can turn out 4000 prime seamen; and enabled to pay undivided attention to the pro- on these grounds it is, that our gracious Queen ceedings. Mr. Robertson gave a very good open-has accorded to these institutions so large a share ing address, explaining the present position of the of patronage. Doubless, yachting in Toronto is a Society. Among other facts mentioned was, that very humble portion of the system, but it is still the library consisted of over 1700 volumes. Mr. a part of it, and should at least be viewed in that Freeland, in a very clever speech, touched on light. A short time since a schooner could not the intention of the society, with respect to their get a decent suit of sails in Toronto; there is now new building, which will, I should imagine from a first rate firm in that department of trade in full the cost, be an ornament to the city. One piece operation in the city,—an excellent boat-builder, of information I gleaned from Mr. Lillie that capable of supplying blocks and spars, has started Upper Canada has increased in the last sixty-all this is the result of the establishment of a years, from 10,000 to over 1,000,000 inhabitants What do you say to that? LAIRD.-Naething. D'ye mind what Judge Draper says about that: ye may exaggerate ever so muckle, but while ye're talking, the exaggera tion ceases. MAJOR.-Time wears on, Doctor, and I am get ting sleepy our sederunt is becoming lengthy. DOCTOR.-Before we separate I would like to give you an account of the Yacht Club meetings. This Club cannot have public attention too pointedly called to it. At the first meeting there were fourteen new members admitted and twice that number are expected to join as soon as the question of "where the Club is to moor" is settled. The order in which the boats should lead on the successive Saturdays was also fixed. LAIRD.-What div ye mean by that? DOCTOR.-Why, on those days the leader hoists his distinguishing flag, and is a sort of commodore, pro tem. MAJOR.-When will a decision be come to respecting the plan of mooring. DOCTOR.--The difficulty in this respect originated in the contemplated filling up of the spaces between the wharves for the railroads, and more particularly for the proposed esplanade. A por tion of the press appear to imagine that the said esplanade was to be constructed for the especial benefit of the Toronto Yachts, and having jumbled up gondolas, yachts, &c., in the most extraordinary way, necessarily made a whole host of absurd statements. The truth of it is, that the proposed esplanade will be the most inconvenient thing possible for the yachts; and the increase of accommodation for commercial purposes. the very best thing for them. Yachting is altogether misunderstood by such persons: they look upon it as a mere idle pastime, and very ignorantly con vacht club, and may it not lead to further results in helping to establish a ship-building trade in the city, where at present it is difficult to repair a small schooner. These are matters worthy of some serious consideration, and should incline persons to enquire and judge before they presume to condemn. In agricultural exhibitions prizes are judiciously offered for superior productions of various sorts; as regards yachts of every des cription, such superiority can only be ascertained by their running together to test their speed and weatherly qualities. There is just as much opportunity of betting at a ploughing match as at a sailing match, and in this country far more I believe takes place at the former. As regards safety, fewer fatal accidents occur in yachting, considering the numbers engaged, than in the other manly sports-of course I allude to the use that is open boats with sails-it is with these latter of regularly fitted yachts and not to boat-sailing, that accidents occur, and their use is most dangerous. The difficulty of keeping yachts here arising from the proposed esplanade, has led to these observations, and they are deserving ot consideration. At the special meeting on the night of the 16th, the members present affixed their signatures to the petition to Her Majesty praying her to permit the club to assume the epithet Royal," an honor which it is hoped will be granted. It was also decided to sail in company to the Humber on the 24th May, to celebrate Her Majesty's birthday, and in order to remove every thing of a mercenary character as much as possible from the proceedings of the club, it was arranged that all prizes should be articles of plate instead of purses. In fact every effort is being made to encrease its utility and divest it of the character that so frequently attaches to clubs, of being mere engines of amusement, sometimes mischievous by the habits they engender. AFTER-SUPPER SEDERUNT. patch, for time presses. MAJOR.-TO business. Laird, your facts-dis LAIRD.-Weel! here they are, just a wheen directions for gardeners. (Laird reads:)— GARDEN, AGRICULTURAL, AND FLOWER SEEDS. The season for commencing Agricultural and Horticultural operations having arrived, the fol lowing plain, practical hints on the cultivation of ordinary garden vegetables, taken from Fleming's printed catalogue, will be found useful to many of our readers: MAJOR.-An imposing ceremony. It is a thousand pities that this meeting is likely to be the last. It seems to me that the people of Canada are not aware of the advantages to be derived from this University, or they would not thus quietly suffer it to fall, Many, I know, look upon this Institution as an expensive and comparatively useless one; but they were never more mistaken, nor will they see their error until too late to re-in deem it. DOCTOR.-It is not for us, Major, to discuss here the propriety or impropriety of the measure now before our Legislature, individually we may condemn it; but it is in the hands of the "collective wisdom" of the country; on them rests the onus. Let us rather review the business transacted at their last meeting, and draw our conclusions therefrom. There were six who graduated as Doctors of Medecine, two as Masters of Arts, and nine as Bachelors of Arts. In addition to these, no less than twenty-three entered as Matriculated Stu dents. LAIRD.-Eh! noo but that's highly satisfactory. But are not maist o' the students scholars who pay na' fees? DOCTOR.-I see that you, like many others, have got a wrong impression of the scholarships, and the reason why they were instituted. The learned President, Dr. McCaul, stated that out of 180 who have matriculated only 53 are scholars, that is, who either pay no fees, or have an annual stipend as a reward for the excellent examination they passed on entering. Thus the University, like a "good Mother," offers to the poor but talented youth an opportunity of obtaining a good education and of becoming a useful subject of his country. MAJOR.-And, Doctor, the advantages of a University are more extended than the generality of people suppose. Its influence is felt in the remotest corner MRS. GRUNDY.-Pon my honor, gentlemen, your sederunt has been a long one; here have your sausages and steaks been cooking and frying till I fear they are burnt to cinders. But some of you like your meat done to death. LAIRD.-Na, na! tender and juicy. Come, Major, come Doctor. Meat overdone, forsooth! DOCTOR.-One minute's patience, my dear Mrs. Grundy, we have not settled anything about either Foreign or Home News,-what's to be done, Major? MAJOR.-Done? Why, tell every one who asks, that we purpose giving half-yearly, for the sake of reference in future ages, a summary of the principal events of the last six months,-by this plan we shall be able to make a calm review of the past-the heat of political discussion will have passed away, and we shall be better able to judge | which of the ephemeral plans constantly agitated merit attention.-Have I spoken well? LAIRD.-Like a Solomon, at least; but for ony sake, let us awa, I canna thole cauld victuals. (Exeunt.) Most kind of seeds grow more freely if soaked soft water from 12 to 48 hours before sowing. Seeds of a hard nature, such as blood beet, man. gel wurzel, nasturtium, &c., often fail from want of attention to this circumstance. Rolling the ground, after sowing, is very beneficial, and will assist in making the seeds vegetate more freely. When a roller is not at hand, it may be done with the back of a spade Kidney or French Beans may be planted any time in May, in drills two inches deep, the beans two inches from each other; the drills about 18 inches apart. If a regular succession is required, sow a few every few weeks, from the 1st of May to the 1st of July. Broad, or Windsor Beans, do not succeed well in this climate, the summer heat coming on them before they are podded, which causes the blossoms to drop off. The best soil to grow them in is a rich, stiff clay, and on a northern border, shaded from the mid-day sun; sow in drills two feet apart, the drills two inches deep, and the seed 3 inches asunder. Blood Beet, Long and Short Turnips may be sown in a good, rich, deep soil, about the first week of May. Draw drills about a foot apart and one inch deep; sow moderately thick; when the plants are up strong, thin them out the distance of six inches from each other in the rows. Brocoli and Cauliflower require a deep, rich soil, of a clayey nature, and highly manured. To produce early Cauliflower or Brocoli the seed ought to be sown in a hot-bed, early in March. When the plants are quite strong and hardy, they may be planted out in the garden, about the middle of May. Plant in rows two feet square. The kinds that will do well in this climate are the Early London and French Cauliflower, Purple Cape and Walcheren Brocoli. Cabbage, both early and late, may be sown any time in May. The best situation for raising the plants is a rich, damp piece of ground, shaded. Seed sown in a situation of this kind is not so subject to be destroyed by the black fly. When the plants are strong, they may be planted out in rows, and managed the same as directed for cauliflower. The best kinds for summer use are the Early York, Battersea, and Vannack; for winter use the Drumhead, Large Bergen, and Flat Dutch. Cucumbers may be sown in the open ground any time in May. They require a good rich soil. Sow in hills, four feet apart, leaving only three plants on each hill. The cucumber and melon vines are liable to be attacked by a ye low fly or bug. Soot, charcoal dust, or soap suds, applied to the plants, will assist in keeping them off. Musk and Water Melons may also be sown at |