6

and a straw hurricane-house of a bonnet as big as a Guineaman's caboose over all, with a black wail hanging in the brails down afore, and my shoes scandaled up my legs, that I made a good-looking wench. Well, I bid all hands good-bye. Suke piped her eye a bit; but, Lord love you! we'd made our calculations o' matrimony, and got the right bearings and distance, (else, mayhap, I should never have got stowed away under her hatches,) and she was to join me at Portsmouth, and we were to make a long splice of it off-hand; but then, poor thing! she thought, mayhap, I might get grabbed and punished. Up comes the coach; but the fellow wouldn't heave to directly, and Yo-hoy!' says I, giving him a hail.-Going to Portsmouth, ma'am?' says he, throwing all aback, and coming ashore from his craft. To be sure I am,' says I. What made you carry on in that fashion, and be d- to you!-is that all the regard you have for the sex?' says I.-' Would you like to go inside, ma'am ?' says he, opening the gangway port. Not a bit of it,' says I: 'stow your damaged slops below, but give me a berth 'pon deck.'—'Werry good, ma'am,' says he, shutting the gangway port again; will you allow me to assist you up ?'- Not by no manner o' means,' says I. Why, what the devil do you take me for! to think the captain of a frigate's maintop can't find his way aloft !''You mean the captain of the maintop's wife,' says Susan, paying me back the pinch I gave her.- Ay, ay, my precious,' says I;' so I do, to be sure. God bless you! good-b'ye! Here I go like seven bells half struck!-carry on, my boy, and I'm blessed if it shan't be a shiner in your way!' And so we takes our berths, and away we made sail, happy-go-lucky, heaving-to now and then just to take in a sea-stock; and the governor had two eyes in his head, and so he finds out the latitude of the thing, but he says nothing; and we got safe through the barrier and into Portsmouth, and I lands in the street afore they reached the inn, -for, thinks I to myself, I'd better get berthed for the night and go aboard in the morning. Well, shipmates, I parts company with the craft, and shapes my course for Pint,-'cause I knew a snug corner in Capstan-square, and I was determined to cut with all skylarks, in regard o' Suke. Well, just as I was getting to steer with a small helm, up ranges a tall man who had seen me come ashore from the coach, and My dear,' says he, 'what! just fresh from the country?' But I houlds my tongue, shipmates, and he pulls up alongside and grabs my arm. Come, don't be cross,' says he; let me take you in tow; I want to talk with you, my love.' I knew the voice well; and though he had a pea jacket over his uniform-coat, and, take him half way up a hatchway,' he was a d-good-looking fellow, yet nobody as ever had seen him could forget them trap-stick legs;' and so, thinks I to myself, Jack, you'd better shove your boat off without delay: for, d'ye see, shipmates, I'd sailed with him when I was a mizen-top-mun in the ould Stag, and I well remembered Sir Joseph Y-ke. But I'm blessed if he didn't stretch out arter me, and sailed two foot to my one; and Come, come, my darling,' says he, take an honest tar for your sweetheart. Let's look at that beautiful face;' and he catches hould o' the wail and hauls it up chock ablock; but I pulls down my bonnet so as he couldn't see my figure-head, and I carries on a taut press to part company. But, Lord love yer hearts! it warn't no manner o' use whatsomever-he more than held his own;

6

6

and A pretty innocent country wench indeed!' says he. What! have you lost your tongue? No, I'm d— if I have!' says I: for I forgot myself, shipmates, through vexation at not being able to get away. Hallo!' says he, gripping me tight by the shoulder; who have we here? I'm blessed, shipmates, if, what with his pulling at my shawl, and my struggling to sheer off, my spanker boom didn't at that very moment get adrift, and he caught sight of it in a jiffy. Hallo!' says he, catching tight hold of the pig-tail, and slueing me right round by it. 'Hallo!' says he, 'I never see an innocent country wench dress her hair in this way afore;—rather a masc'line sort o' female,' he says. 'Who the devil are you?' 'It's Jack Sheavehole, your honour,' says I, bringing up all standing; and, knowing his generous heart, thinks I, Now's your time, Jack; overhaul the whole consarn to him, and ten to one but he pulls you through the scrape somehow or other. So Iups and tells him the long and the short on it, and he laughs one minute, and d―ns me for a desarting willun the next; and 'Come along!' says he; 'I must see what Captain B-n will think of all this.' So he takes me in tow, and we went into one of the grand houses in High-street; and 'Follow me,' says he, as he walked up stairs into a large room all lighted up for a sheave-o; and there wur ladies all togged out in white, and silver and gold, and feathers, and navy officers and sodger officers,—a grand dinner-party. 'B-n,' hails Sir Joseph, here's a lady wants you;' and he takes me by the hand, all complimentary like, and the captain of the frigate comes towards us, and I'm blessed if every soul fore and aft didn't fix their eyes on me like a marine looking out for a squall. I've not the pleasure of knowing the lady,' says the skipper; 'I fear, Sir Joseph, you're coming York over me. Pray, ma'am, may I be allowed the happiness of seeing your countenance and hearing your name?'-'I'm Jack Sheavehole, yer honour,' says I, captain o' the Tapsickorees maintop, as yer honour well knows. 'I do, my man,' says he with a gravedigger's grin on his countenance and so you want to desart ?'- Never, yer honour,' says I, in the regard o' my liking my ship and my captain too well.'-No, no, B-n,' says Sir Joseph, I must do him justice. It appears that he had long leave, and onknowingly overstayed his time; so he rigged himself out in angel's gear to cheat them devils of sodgers. I'll vouch for the fact, B-n,' says he, for I saw him myself get down from the coach-.-' All fresh from the country, yer honour,' says I. Ay, all fresh from the country,' chimes in Sir Joseph. He's an ould shipmate o' mine, B-n, and I want you, as a personal favour to myself, to back his liberty-ticket for to-morrow. Such a lad as this, would never desart the sarvice.' 'If I would, then I'm d- saving yer honour's presence,' says I. Well, shipmates, there I stood in the broad light, and all the ladies and gemmen staring at me like fun; and 'Come, B-n,' says Sir Joseph,extend his liberty till to-morrow.'-'Where's your ticket?' axes the skipper: and so, in regard of its being in my trousers pocket, I hauls up my petticoats to get at it; and, my eyes! but the women set up a screeching, and the officers burst out in a broadside o' laughing, and you never heard such a bobbery as they kicked up,-it was a downright reg'lar squall."

"Ay, squall indeed," said the captain of the forecastle; "here it

comes with a vengeance!" he bellowed out with stentorian lungs. "Hard up with the helm-hard a-weather." In an instant the sea was one sheet of foam; the wind came whistling like the rustling of ten thousand arrows in their swiftest flight; a report like the discharge of a heavy piece of artillery was heard forward, and away flew the jib like a fleecy cloud to leeward. The frigate heeled over, carrying everybody and everything into the lee scuppers; the lightning hissed and cracked as it exploded between the masts, making everything tremble from the keel to the truck; broad sheets of water were lifted up and dashed over the decks fore and aft: indeed, it seemed as if the gale were striving to raise the ponderous vessel from the ocean for the purpose of plunging it into the dark abyss; a thick mist-like shroud hung round her, alow and aloft, as she struggled to lift herself against the tempest. The topsail halliards were let go; but the nearly horizontal position of the masts prevented the sails from running down. Inevitable destruction for the moment threatened to engulph them all, when "crack, crack, crack!" away went the topmasts over the side; the spanker sheet had been cut away, and off bounced the spanker after the jib. The frigate partially righted, and Lord Eustace and his officers rushed to the deck. But the squall had passed: the moon again shone beautifully clear; the deceitful sky and still more deceitful ocean were all smiles, as if nothing had happened,- though the evidences of their wrath were but too apparent in the dismantled state of his Majesty's ship. But we must again leave them, as we did before, to

"Call all hands to clear the wreck."

THE USEFUL YOUNG MAN.

A SECOND SERIES. BY WILLIAM COLLIER.

"There's one of us in every family."

To make ourselves useful's a duty we owe
To mankind and ourselves in our sojourn below;
To return good for evil, and always "to do
Unto others as you'd have them do unto you :"
So I bear all with patience, resolved, if I can,
To act well my part as a Useful Young Man!

But, alas! entre nous, 'tis a difficult task,
As seldom I'm left in life's sunshine to bask;
For I'm hurried, and worried, imposed on by all,
Who think I should run at their beck or their call:
"So obliging," folks say, "is their favourite Sam,
That he well earns the name of the Useful Young Man!"

Each morning at breakfast I'm doomed to peruse
"The Herald," and "Post," for "the family news,"
While the toast, eggs, and coffee, which fall to my lot,
Get a pretty considerable distance from hot:
Yes, such are the COMFORTS-deny it who can ?—
That fall to the share of each Useful Young Man!

If Jane, or Maria, for work should agree,
The dear creatures invariably send down for me
To make myself useful, and read while they knit,
Paint, draw, or do anything they may think fit.
Thus Sam-poor pill-garlic!-they safely trepan:
Alack! what a life leads a Useful Young Man!

If the day's rather wet, and they can't gad about,
They think nothing whatever, of sending me out :-
"Now, Sam, my good fellow, just pop on your hat;
Run to Howell's for this thing, and Holmes's for that;
You'll make yourself pleasant we know, if you can,-
What a comfort to have such a Useful Young Man !"
When John, our fat butler, or Bridget, the cook,
Have leisure for reading "some novelty book,"
They ne'er think of asking my leave to peruse,
But help themselves freely to just what they choose:
Making free with my novels is no novel plan,

For THEY Own Master Sam's such a Useful Young Man !

Once Thomas, the footman, kissed Anne on the stairs,
Who loudly squalled out, just to give herself airs;
When my father ran down, in great anger, to see
What the cause of the squeaking and squalling could be.
Tom had bolted; but not till they 'd settled a plan
To throw all the blame on the Useful Young Man!

When the Opera we visit, I'm kept in the rear
Of our box, and can scarce get a glimpse, I declare,
Of the stage, or the audience ;-so only remain,
To trot up to Dubourg for punch à la Romaine,
To run out for a book, or to pick up a fan :-
Alas! what a drudge is a Useful Young Man!

But sad is my fate when I go to a rout.
If a toothless old maid sits a partner without,
The beaux are looked o'er, but they always agree
To fix the agreeable task upon me;

For to dance with all bores, 'tis the province of Sam,
'Deed the fate of each victimised Useful Young Man!

If we 're late at the dance, and no coach to be had,
There's Sam! the dear fellow! the exquisite lad!
He'll search all the stands in the town, but he 'll gain
A coach for his friends-though it 's pelting with rain
Oh! such are the pleasures-deny it who can-
That fall to the lot of a Useful Young Man!

To be nice about trifles is not over wise;

Where's the churl that finds favour in woman's bright eyes?

To be nice about trifles, is trifling with folly,

For the right end of life is but left to be jolly;

So I'll make up my mind just to stick to this plan,

And FAG out my terms as a Useful Young Man.

REMAINS OF HAJJI BABA.

CHAPTER V.

HAVING bought some spangled stuffs for the trousers of the harem of our exalted grand vizier, (upon whom be blessings!) and despatched them, with letters, to the foot of the Shah's throne by an express Tatar, I joined my Greek companions at the Adrianople Gate, and left Constantinople for the country of the Francs.

I found my new friends were raving with the new malady. It seems that they now called themselves free,-a blessing which they endeavoured to persuade me was beyond all price; for, as far as I could learn from their definition of it, I found that now they could wear yellow slippers, put on a green coat, and wrap white muslin round their heads, without being called to account. However, in order to secure these advantages, it appeared that they were making no small sacrifices, for they were quarrelling amongst themselves to their hearts' content; and that more fell by the knives and stabs of their neighbours and countrymen than ever in former times fell even by the despotism of their Turkish rulers. Although I frequently asserted that quiet, peace, and security from danger were great objects in life; yet I found that I had a great deal to undergo before I could make them agree to that plain fact; and at length, seeing that they had made out a certain scheme of happiness of their own, the principal ingredient of which, was the endurance of every thing rather than to give power to the true believers, I allowed them to enjoy it without further molestation.

After many adventures, such as robberies by Bulgars, an escape from shipwreck on the Danube, dislocation of bones in little carts in Wallachia, incarceration within four bare walls at the Austrian frontier on pretence of our being unclean men, contamination from pork and wine among the Majars, and disordered patience brought about by phlegmatic, smoking, slow-driving, ya! ya! post-boys in Germany,-we reached Vienna. It was a day upon which I frequently exclaimed "Ilham dulillah!" the day when I first saw the lofty spire of the great infidel church of that city; for I was tired of everything tired of my companions, tired of my eternal hot seat in the corner of a coach, and longed to have a place to myself where I might bless and curse at my pleasure whomsoever I should like so to do.

:

My first care upon arriving here, was to inquire about the object of my mission,-the state of England. Wherever I went, I heard with a chuckle that she had had her day, that she was going down fast, that too much prosperity was daily destroying her; and every one added, with a sneer, "Ah, they thought themselves the wisest of the sons of the earth; but see! they