sions, where we hoped to have seen the great men of their country running down a stag, or pitching a bar, that we might have discovered who were the persons of the greatest abilities among them; but instead of that, they conveyed us into a huge room lighted up with abundance of candles, where this lazy people sat still above three hours to see several feats of ingenuity performed by others, who it seems were paid for it. gether, they would allow a writer, when wit, and cannot please any otherwise, out with a little smuttiness. I will ans poets, that no one ever wrote bawdry, for reason but dearth of invention. When cannot strike out of himself any mo which he has superior to those who ma bulk of his audience, his natural reco that which he has in common with th description which gratifies a sensual ap please, when the author has nothing ab delight a refined imagination. It is poverty we must impute this and all tences in plays, which are of this kind, are commonly termed luscious expressi "As for the women of the country, not being able to talk with them, we could only make our remarks upon them at a distance. They let the hair of their heads grow to a great length; but as the men make a great show with heads of hair that are none of their own, the women, who they say have very fine heads of hair, tie it up in a knot, This expedient to supply the deficier and cover it from being seen. The women look has been used more or less by most of t like angels, and would be more beautiful than the who have succeeded on the stage; thou sun, were it not for little black spots that are apt but one who has professedly written a to break out in their faces, and sometimes rise in the basis of the desire of multiplyin very odd figures. I have observed that those little cies, and that is the polite Sir Ge blemishes wear off very soon; but when they dis-ridge; if I understand what the lady w appear in one part of the face, they are very apt to break out in another, insomuch that I have seen a spot upon the forehead in the afternoon, which was upon the chin in the morning." The author then proceeds to show the absurdity of breeches and petticoats, with many other curious observations which I shall reserve for another occasion. I cannot, however, conclude this paper without taking notice, that amidst these wild remarks there now and then appears something very reasonable. I cannot likewise forbear observing, that we are all guilty in some measure of the same narrow way of thinking which we meet with in this abstract of the Indian journal, when we fancy the customs, dresses, and manners of other countries are ridiculous and extravagant, if they do not resemble those of our own.-C. "My fortune, quality, and person, are such as render me as conspicuous as any young woman in town. It is in my power to enjoy it in all its vanities, but I have from a very careful education, contracted a great aversion to the forward air and fashion which is practiced in all public places and assemblies. I attribute this very much to the style and manner of our plays. I was last night at the Funeral, where a confident lover in the play, speaking of his mistress, cries out-Oh that Harriet! to fold these arms about the waist of that beauteous, struggling, and at last yielding fair! Such an image as this ought by no means to be presented to a chaste and regular audience. I expect your opinion of this sentence, and recommend to your consideration, as a Spectator, the conduct of the stage at present with relation to chastity and modesty. "I am, Sir, "Your constant reader and well-wisher." The complaint of this young lady is so just, that the offense is gross enough to have displeased persons who cannot pretend to that delicacy and modesty of which she is mistress. But there is a great deal to be said in behalf of an author. If the audience would but consider the difficulty of keeping up a sprightly dialogue for five acts to in the play called She would if she co It lifts a heavy empty sentence, wh But a him into the most retired part of the seraglio. It must be confessed his Turkish Majesty went off with a good air, but methought we made but a sad figure who waited without. This ingenious gentlewoman, in this piece of bawdry refined upon an author of the same sex*, who, in the Rover, makes a country 'squire strip to his Holland drawers. For Blunt is disappointed, and the emperor is understood to go on to the utmost. The pleasantry of stripping almost naked has been since practiced (where indeed it should have been begun) very successfully at Bartholomew fair.t It is not to be here omitted, that in one of the above-mentioned female compositions, the Rover is very frequently sent on the same errand; as I take it, above once every act. This is not wholly unnatural; for, they say, the men authors draw themselves in their chief characters, and the women writers may be allowed the same liberty. Thus, as the male wit gives his hero a great fortune, the female gives her heroine a good gallant at the end of the play. But, indeed, there is hardly a play one can go to, but the hero or fine gentleman of it struts off upon the same account, and leaves us to consider what good office he has put us to, or to employ ourselves as we please. To be plain, a man who frequents plays would have a very respectful notion of himself, were he o recollect how often he has been used as pimp to ravishing tyrants, or successful rakes. When the actors make their exit on this good occasion, the ladies are sure to have an examining glance from the pit to see how they relish what passes; and a few lewd fools are very ready to employ their talents upon the composure or freedom of their looks. Such incidents as these make some ladies wholly absent themselves from the playhouse; and others never miss the first day of a play;, lest it should prove too luscious to admit their going with any countenance to it on the second. If men of wit, who think fit to write for the stage, instead of this pitiful way of giving delight, would turn their thoughts upon raising it from such good natural impulses as are in the audience, but are choked up by vice and luxury, they would not only please, but befriend us at the same time. If a man had a mind to be new in his way of writing, might not he who is now represented as a fine gentleman, though he betrays the honor and bed of his neighbor and friend, and lies with half the women in the play, and is at last rewarded with her of the best character in it-I say, upon giving the comedy another cast, might hot such a one divert the audience quite as well, if at the catastrophe he were found out for a traitor, and met with contempt accordingly? There is seldom a person devoted to above one darling vice at a time, so that there is room enough to catch at men's hearts to their good and advantage, if the poets will attempt it with the honesty which becomes their characters. There is no man who loves his bottle or his mistress, in a manner so very abandoned, as not to be capable of relishing an agreeable character, that is no way a slave to either of these pursuits. A man that is temperate, generous, valiant, chaste, faithful, and honest, may, at the same time, have wit, humor, good-breeding, and gallantry. While he exerts these latter qualities, twenty occasions might be invented to show he is master of the other noble virtues. Such characters would smite and reprove the heart of a man of sense, when he is given up to his pleasures. He would see he has been mistaken all this while, and be convinced that a sound constitution and an innocent mind are the true ingredients for becoming, and enjoying life. All men of true taste would call a man of wit, who should turn his ambition this way, a friend and benefactor to his country; but I am at a loss what name they would give him, who makes use of his capacity for contrary purposes.-R. No. 52.] MONDAY, APRIL 30, 1711. To crown thy worth, she shall be ever thine, AN ingenious correspondent, like a sprightly wife, will always have the last word. I did not think my last letter to the deformed fraternity would have occasioned any answer, especially since I had promised them so sudden a visit: but as they think they cannot show too great a veneration for my person, they have already sent me up an answer. As to the proposal of a marriage between myself and the matchless Hecatissa, I have but one objection to it; which is, That all the society will expect to be acquainted with her; and who can be sure of keeping a woman's heart long where she may have so much choice? I am the more alarmed at this, because the lady seems particularly smitten with men of their make. I believe I shall set my heart upon her; and think never the worse of my mistress for an epigram a smart fellow wrote, as he thought, against her; it does but the more recommend her to me. At the same time I cannot but discover that his malice is stolen from Martial: Tacta places; audita places; si non videare, "Your letter to us we have received, as a signal mark of your favor and brotherly affection. We shall be heartily glad to see your short face in Oxford; and since the wisdom of our legislature has been immortalized in your speculations, and our personal deformities in some sort by you recorded to all posterity, we hold ourselves in gratitude bound to receive, with the highest respect, all such persons as for their extraordinary merit you shall think fit, from time to time, to recommend unto the board. As for the Pictish damsel, we have an easy chair prepared at the upper end of the table: which we doubt not but she will grace with a very hideous aspect, and much better become the seat in the native and unaffected uncomeliness of her person, than with all the superficial airs of the pencil, which (as you have very ingeniously observed) vanish with a breath, and the most innocent adorer may deface the shrine with a salutation, and in the literal sense of our poets, snatch and imprint his balmy kisses, and devour her melting lips. In short, the only faces of the Pictish kind that will endure the weather, must be of Dr. Carbuncle's die; though his, in truth, has cost him a world the painting; but then he boasts with Zexes, in aternitatem pingo; and oft jocosely tells the fair ones, would they acquire colors that would stand kissing, they But R. 64 No. 53.] TUESDAY, MAY 1, My correspondents grow so numero cannot avoid frequently inserting thei tions to me. "MR. SPECTATOR, must no longer paint, but drink for a complexion: "SIR, a maxim that in this our age has been pursued In answer to your letter, I must desi with no ill success; and has been as admirable recollect yourself; and you will find, t in its effects, as the famous cosmetic mentioned you did me the honor to be so merry ov in the Postman, and invented by the renowned per, you laughed at the idiot, the Germa British Hippocrates of the pestle and mortar; the gaper, the merry-andrew, the haberd making the party, after a due course, rosy, hale, biter, the butt, and not at and airy; and the best and most approved reYour humble servant, ceipt now extant for the fever of the spirits. "THE SPEC to return to our female candidate, who, I understand, is returned to herself, and will no longer hang out false colors; as she is the first of her sex that has done us so great an honor, she will certainly in a very short time, both in prose and verse, be a lady of the most celebrated deformity now living, and meet with many admirers here as frightful as herself. But being a long-headed gentlewoman, I am apt to imagine she has some farther design than you have yet penetrated; and perhaps has more mind to the Spectator than any of his fraternity, as the person of all the world she could like for a paramour. And if so, really I cannot but applaud her choice, and should be glad, if it might lie in my power, to effect an amicable "I am glad I can inform you, that y accommodation betwixt two faces of such different vors to adorn that sex, which is the fair extremes, as the only possible expedient to mend the visible creation, are well received, a the breed, and rectify the physiognomy of the prove not unsuccessful. The triumph family on both sides. And again, as she is a lady over her sister Lætitia has been the of a very fluent elocution, you need not fear that conversation at several tea-tables wh your child will be born dumb, which otherwise present; and I have observed the fair c you might have some reason to be apprehensive little pleased to find you considering To be plain with you, I can see nothing reasonable creatures, and endeavoring shocking in it; for though she has not a face like that Mahometan custom, which had too a john-apple, yet as a late friend of mine, who at vailed even in this island, of treating sixty-five ventured on a lass of fifteen, very fre- if they had no souls. I must do them quently in the remaining five years of his life gave to say, that there seems to be nothing me to understand, that as old as he then seemed, the finishing of these lovely pieces when they were first married he and his spouse nature, beside the turning and applyin could make but fourscore; so may Madam Heca-bition properly, and the keeping them u tissa very justly allege hereafter, that as long-vis- of what is their true merit. Epictetus aged as she may then be thought, upon their wedding-day Mr. Spectator and she had but half an ell of face betwixt them; and this my worthy predecessor, Mr. Serjeant Chin, always maintained to be no more than the true oval proportion between man and wife. But as this may be a new thing to you, who have hitherto had no expectations from women, I shall allow you what time you think fit to consider on it; not without some hope of seeing at last your thoughts hereupon subjoined to mine, and which is an honor much desired by, of. 'Sir, your assured friend, "And most humble servant, The following letter has not much in it, but, as it is written in my own praise, I cannot from my heart suppress it. "SIR, honest philosopher, as little as he had of appears to have understood them as polite St. Evremont, and has hit this luckily. When young women,' says at a certain age, they hear themsel Mistresses, and are made to believe only business is to please the men mediately begin to dress, and to pla hopes in the adorning of their persons; fore,' continues he, 'worth the while t by all means to make them sensible tha paid to them is only upon account of ducting themselyes with virtue, mo discretion.' "Now to pursue the matter yet fart render your cares for the improvement ones more effectual, I would propose a like those applications which are said their virtue by sympathy; and that order to embellish the mistress, you sh "You proposed, in your Spectator of last Tues new education to the lover, and teach t day, Mr. Hobbs's hypothesis for solving that very to be any longer dazzled by false char odd phenomenon of laughter. You have made the real beauty. I cannot but think that hypothesis valuable by espousing it yourself; for knew always how to place their esteem had it continued Mr. Hobbs's, nobody would have other would not be so often wanting to minded it. Now here this perplexed case arises. in deserving it. For as the being ena A certain company laughed very heartily upon a woman of sense and virtue is an in the reading of that very paper of yours; and the to a man's understanding and mora truth on it is, he must be a man of more than or- passion is ennobled by the object whi dinary constancy that could stand out against so it; so on the other side, the appeari much comedy, and not do as we did. Now there to a man of a wise and elegant ming are few men in the world so far lost to all good itself no small degree of merit and sense, as to look upon you to be a man in a statement. I conclude, therefore, that o of folly 'inferior to himself.'-Pray then how do make the women yet more agreeable you justify your hypothesis of laughter? the men more virtuous. "Your most humble, Q. R. "Thursday, the 26th of the month of fools." "I am, Sir, your most humble "SIB, Yours of Saturday last I read, not without some resentment; but I will suppose when you say you expect an inundation of ribbons and brocades, and to see many new vanities which the women will fall into upon a peace with France, that you intend only the unthinking part of our sex and what methods can reduce them to reason is hard to imagine. April 26th.votion on herself. You are to know, Sir, that a Peeper works with her hands, eyes, and fan; one of which is continually in motion, while she thinks she is not actually the admiration of some ogler or starer in the congregation. As I stood utterly at a loss how to behave myself, surrounded as I was, this Peeper so placed herself as to be kneeling just before me. She displayed the most beautiful bosom imaginable, which heaved and fell with some fervor, while a delicate and wellshaped arm held a fan over her face. It was not in nature to command one's eyes from this object. I could not avoid taking notice also of her fan, which had on it various figures very improper to behold on that occasion. There lay in the body of the piece a Venus (under a purple canopy furled with curious wreaths of drapery), half naked, attended with a train of Cupids, who were busied in fanning her as she slept. Behind her was drawn a satyr peeping over the silken fence, and threatening to break through it. I frequently offered to turn my sight another way, but was still detained by the fascination of the Peeper's eyes, who had long practiced a skill in them to recall the parting glances of her beholders. You see my complaint, and I hope you will take these mis"ANNA BELLA."chievous people, the Peepers, into your consideration. I doubt not but you will think a Peeper as much more pernicious than a Starer, as an ambuscade is more to be feared than an open assault. "But, Sir, there are others yet, that your instructions might be of great use to, who, after their best endeavors, are sometimes at a loss to acquit themselves to a censorious world. I am far from thinking you can altogether disapprove of conversation between ladies and gentlemen, regulated by the rules of honor and prudence; and have thought it an observation not ill-made, that where that was wholly denied, the women lost their wit, and the men their good manners. It is sure from those improper liberties you mentioned, that a sort of undistinguishing people shall banish from their drawing-rooms the best-bred men in the world, and condemn those that do not. Your stating this point might, I think, be of good use, as well as much oblige, "Sir, your admirer, and most humble servant, No answer to this, till Anna Bella sends a description of those she calls the best-bred men in the world. "MR. SPECTATOR, " "I am, Sir, your most obedient servant.' This Peeper using both fan and eyes, to be considered as a Pict, and proceed accordingly. "I am a gentleman who for many years last past have been well known to be truly splenetic, and that my spleen arises from having contracted "KING LATINUS TO THE SPECTATOR, GREETING, so great a delicacy, by reading the best authors "Though some may think we descend from our and keeping the most refined company, that I imperial dignity in holding correspondence with cannot bear the least impropriety of language, or a private literator, yet as we have great respect to rusticity of behavior. Now, Sir, I have ever look-all good intentions for our service, we do not ed upon this as a wise distemper; but by late observations find, that every heavy wretch who has nothing to say, excuses his dullness by complaining of the spleen. Nay, I saw the other day, two fellows in a tavern kitchen set up for it, call for a pint and pipes, and only by guzzling liquors to each other's health, and wasting smoke in each other's face, pretend to throw off the spleen. I appeal to you whether these dishonors are to be done to the distemper of the great and the polite. I beseech you, Sir, to inform these fellows that they have not the spleen because they cannot talk without the help of a glass at their mouths, or convey their meaning to each other without the interposition of clouds. If you will not do this with all speed, I assure you, for my part, I will wholly quit the disease, and for the future be merry with the vulgar. "SIR, "I am, Sir, your humble servant." "This is to let you understand that I am a reformed Starer, and conceived a detestation for that practice from what you have written upon the subject. But as you have been very severe upon the behavior of us men at divine service, I hope you will not be so apparently partial to the women as to let them go wholly unobserved. If they do everything that is possible to attract our eyes, are we more culpable than they for looking at them? I happened last Sunday to be shut into a pew, which was full of young ladies, in the bloom of youth and beauty. When the service began, I had not room to kneel at the confession, but as I stood kept my eyes from wandering as well as I was able, till one of the young ladies, who is a Peeper, resolved to bring down my looks, and fix my de esteem it beneath us to return you our royal thanks for what you published in our behalf, while under confinement in the enchanted castle of the Savoy, and for your mention of a subsidy for a prince in misfortune. This your timely zeal has inclined the hearts of divers to be aiding unto us, if we could propose the means. We have taken their good-will into consideration, and have contrived a method which will be easy to those who shall give the aid, and not unacceptable to us who receive it. A concert of music shall be prepared at Haberdasher's hall, for Wednesday the second of May, and we will honor the said entertainment with our presence, where each person shall be assessed but at two shillings and sixpence. What we expect from you is, that you publish these our royal intentions, with injunction that they be read at all tea-tables within the cities of London and Westminster; and so we bid you heartily farewell. "LATINUS, "King of the Volscians." "Given at our court in Vinegar-yard, Story the third from the earth, April 28, 1711.” 'Believing you to be a universal encourager of As the dial to the sun, I must be so just as to observe, I have 1 seen of this sect at our other university; not distinguished by the appellation wi learned historian my correspondent repo bear at Cambridge. They were ever look as a people that impaired themselves more strict application to the rules of their or any other students whatever. Others seld themselves any farther than to gain weak sometimes head-aches; but these philosop seized all over with a general inabilit lence, and weariness, and a certain impat the place they are in, with a heaviness ir ing to another. liberal arts and sciences, and glad of any infor- Our younger students are content to car mation from the learned world, I thought an ac-speculations as yet no farther than bowling count of a sect of philosophers very frequent billiard-tables, and such-like places. TE among us, but not taken notice of, as far as I can serve for a sketch of my design; in which remember, by any writers, either ancient or modern, I shall have your encouragement. would not be unacceptable to you. The philo"I am, Sir, y sophers of this sect are, in the language of our university, called loungers. I am of opinion that, as in many other things, so likewise in this, the ancients have been defective, viz., in mentioning no philosophers of this sort. Some indeed will affirm that they are a kind of Peripatetics, because we see them continually walking about. But I would have these gentlemen consider, that though the ancient Peripatetics walked much, yet they wrote much also; witness to the sorrow of this sect, Aristotle and others: whereas it is notorious that most of our professors never lay out a farthing either in pen, ink, or paper. Others are for deriving them from Diogenes, because several of the leading men of the sect have a great deal of cynical humor in them, and delight much in sunshine. But then, again, Diogenes was content to have his constant habitation in a narrow tub, while our philosophers are so far from being of his opinion, that it is death to them to be confined within the limits of a good handsome convenient chamber but for half an hour. Others there are who from the clearness of their heads deduce the pedigree of loungers from that great man (I think it was either Plato or Socrates) who, after all his study and learning, professed, that all he then knew was, that he knew nothing. You easily see this is but a shallow argument, and may soon be confuted. The loungers are satisfied with being part of the number of mankind, withou guishing themselves from among them may be said rather to suffer their time to p to spend it, without regard to the past, pect of the future. All they know of life the present instant, and do not taste e When one of this order happens to be a fortune, the expense of his time is trans his coach and horses, and his life is to sured by their motion, not his own enjoy sufferings. The chief entertainment one philosophers can possibly propose to hi to get a relish of dress. This, methink "I have with great pains and industry made my diversify the person he is weary of (his observations from time to time upon these sages; self) to himself. I have known these tw and having now all materials ready, am compiling ments make one of these philosophers a treatise, wherein I shall set forth the rise and very tolerable figure in the world; with v progress of this famous sect, together with their dresses in public assemblies in town, a maxims, austerities, manner of living, etc. Hav-motion of his horses out of it, now to E ing prevailed with a friend who designs shortly to publish a new edition of Diogenes Laertius, to add this treatise of mine by way of supplement, I shall now, to let the world see what may be expected from me (first begging Mr. Spectator's leave that the world may see it), briefly touch upon some of my chief observations, and then subscribe myself your humble servant. In the first place I shall give you two or three of their maxims: the fundamental one, upon which their whole system is built, is this, viz: That Time being an implacable enemy to, and destroyer of, all things, ought to be paid in his own coin, and be destroyed and murdered without mercy, by all the ways that can be invented.' Another favorite saying of theirs is, That business was designed only for knaves, and study for blockheads." A third seemed to be a ludicrous one, but has a great effect upon their lives; and is this, 'That the devil is at home.' Now for their manner of living: and here I shall have a large field to expatiate in; but I shall reserve particulars for my intended discourse, and now only mention one or two of their principal exercises. The elder proficients employ themselves in inspecting mores hominum multorum, in getting acquainted with all the signs and windows in the town. Some are arrived at so great knowledge, that they can tell every time any butcher kills a calf, every time any old woman's cat is in the straw, and a thousand other matters as important. One ancient philosopher contemplates two or three hours every day over a sundial! and is true to the dial, to Tunbridge, then to Newmarket, and the don, he has in process of time brought i that his coach and his horses have been n in all those places. When the loungers academic life, and, instead of this mor way of appearing in the polite world, re seats of their ancestors, they usually pack of dogs, and employ their days in their poultry from foxes. I do not k other method, that any of this order taken to make a noise in the world; bu inquire into such about this town as hav at the dignity of being loungers by the natural parts, without having ever see versity; and send my correspondent, fo bellishment of his book, the names and those who pass their lives without any at all; and how they shift coffee-houses colate-houses from hour to hour, to get insupportable labor of doing nothing. No. 55.] THURSDAY, MAY 3, Our passions play the tyrants in our bre MOST of the trades, professions, and living among mankind, take their origi from the love of pleasure, or the fea The former, when it becomes too violer rates into luxury, and the latter into av |