Bob. Not that I need to care who know it, for the cabin is convenient; but in regard I would not be too popular and generally visited, as some are. Mat. True, captain, I conceive you. Bob. For, do you see, sir, by the heart of valour in me (except it be some peculiar and choice spirits, to whom I am extraordinarily engaged, as yourself, or so), I could not extend thus far. Mat. O, sir, I resolve so. Bob. I confess I love a cleanly and quiet privacy above all the tumult and roar of fortune. What new piece have you there? What! Go by, Hieronymo ! Mat. Ay, did you ever see it acted? Is 't not well penned? Bob. Well penned! I would fain see all the poets of these times pen such another play as that was! they'll prate and swagger, and keep a stir of art and devices, when (as I am a gentleman), read them, they are the most shallow, pitiful, barren fellows that live upon the face of the earth again. Mat. Indeed; here are a number of fine speeches in this book. "O eyes, no eyes, but fountains fraught with tears!" There's a conceit! fountains fraught with tears. "O life, no life, but lively form of death!" Another," O world, no world, but mass of public wrongs!" A third, "Confused and filled with murder and misdeeds!" A fourth, "O, the Muses!" Is 't not excellent? Is 't not simply the best that ever you heard, captain? Ha! how do you like it? Bob. 'Tis good. Mat. To thee, the purest object to my sense, The most refined essence heaven covers, The happy state of turtle-billing lovers. Bob. Nay; proceed, proceed. Good Mat. This, sir? a toy o' mine own, in my nonage; the infancy of my muses! But when will you come and see my study? faith, I can show you some very good things I have done of lateThat boot becomes your leg passing well, captain, methinks. Bob. So, so; it's the fashion gentlemen now use. Mat. Troth, captain, and now you speak o' the fashion, Master Wellbred's elder brother and I are fallen out exceedingly: the other day I happened to enter into some discourse of a hanger, which I assure you, both for fashion and workmanship, was most peremptorily beautiful and gentlemanlike; yet he condemned and cried it down for the most pied and ridiculous that ever he saw. Bob. 'Squire Downright, the half-brother, was 't not? Mat. Ay, sir, he. Bob. Hang him, rook! he! why, he has no more judgment than a malt horse. By St George, I wonder you'd lose a thought upon such an animal! the most peremptory absurd clown of Christendom this day he is holden. I protest to you, as I am a gentleman and a soldier, I ne'er changed words with his like. By his discourse, he should eat nothing but hay. He was born for the manger, pannier, or packsaddle. He has not so much as a good phrase in his stomach, but all old iron and rusty proverbs! a good commodity for some smith to make hobnails of. Mat. Ay, and he thinks to carry it away with his manhood still, where he comes. He brags he will give me the bastinado, as I hear. Bob. How! he the bastinado! how came he by that word? Mat. Nay, indeed, he said cudgel me: I termed it so, for my more grace. Bob. That may be: for I was sure it was none of his word. But when-when said he so? Mat. Faith, yesterday, they say: a young gallant, a friend of mine, told me so. Bob. By the foot of Pharaoh, an' 'twere my case now, I should send him a chartel presently. The bastinado! A most proper and sufficient dependence warranted by the great Caranza. Come hither, you shall chartel him. I'll show you a trick or two you shall kill him with at pleasure: the first stoccata, if you will, by this air. Mat. Indeed you have absolute knowledge i' the mystery, I have heard, sir. Bob. Of whom? Of whom have you heard it, I beseech you? Mat. Troth, I have heard it spoken of divers that you had very rare and un-in-one-breath-utterable skill, sir. Bob. No, not I; no skill i' the earth: some small rudiments i' the science, as to know my time, distance, or so. I have profest it more for noblemen and gentlemen's use than mine own practice, I assure you. Hostess, accommodate us with another bedstaff here quickly; lend us another bedstaff; the woman does not understand the words of action. Look you, sir, exalt not your point above this state at any hand, and let your poniard maintain your defence; thus (give it to the gentleman and leave us); so, sir, come on! Oh, twine your body more about, that you may fall to a more sweet, comely, gentlemanlike guard. So, indifferent. Hollow your body more, sir, thus. Now, stand fast on your left leg; note your distance: keep your due proportion of time-O, you disorder your point most irregularly. Mat. How is the bearing of it now, sir? Bob. O, out of measure, ill: a well-experienced hand would pass upon you at pleasure. Mat. How mean you, sir, pass upon me? Bob. Why, thus, sir, (make a thrust at me ;) come in upon the answer, control your point, and make a full career at the body; the best practised gallants of the time name it the passado; a most desperate thrust, believe it! Mat. Well, come on, sir. Bob. Why, you do not manage your weapon with any facility or grace to invite me! I have no spirit to play with you; your dearth of judgment renders you tedious. Mat. But one venue, sir. Bob. Venue! fie, most gross denomination as ever I heard. O! the stoccata, while you live, sir, note that; come, put on your cloak, and we'll go to some private place where you are acquainted, some tavern, or so—and have a bit; I'll send for one of these fencers, and he shall breathe you by my direction, and then I will teach you your trick; you shall kill him with it at the first if you please. Why, I will learn you by the true judgment of the eye, hand, and foot, any enemy's point i' the world. Should your adversary confront you with a pistol, 'twere nothing by this hand; you should by the same rule control his bullet in a line, except it were hailshot and spread. What money have you about you, Master Matthew? Mat. Faith, I have not past a two shillings, or so. Bob. 'Tis somewhat with the least; but, come, we will have a bunch of radish and salt to taste our wine; and a pipe of tobacco to close the orifice of the stomach; and then we'll call upon young Wellbred. Perhaps we shall meet the Coridon, his brother, there, and put him to the question. BEN JONSON'S Every Man in his Humour. 6.-PALEMON AND ARCITE, CAPTIVES IN GREECE. Pal. Why, strong enough to laugh at misery, And bear the chance of war yet. We are prisoners I fear for ever, cousin. Arc. I believe it; And to that destiny have patiently Laid up my hour to come. Pal. Oh, cousin Arcite, Where is Thebes now? where is our noble country? The hardy youths strive for the games of honour, Outstript the people's praises, won the garlands, Like proud seas under us! Our good swords now, Arc. No, Palemon, Those hopes are prisoners with us: Here we are, To glad our age, and like young eagles teach them The fair-eyed maids shall weep our banishments, Till she for shame see what a wrong she has done Pal. 'Tis too true, Arcite! To our Theban hounds, That shook the aged forest with their echoes, No more now must we halloo; no more shake Even from the bottom of these miseries, I see two comforts rising, two mere blessings, Whilst Palemon is with me, let me perish Pal. Certainly, 'Tis a main goodness, cousin, that our fortunes Arc. Shall we make worthy uses of this place, Pal. How, gentle cousin? Arc. Let's think this prison a holy sanctuary The poison of pure spirits, might, like women, |