"Your Lordship's "Most humble Servant to command." rellations of these criminals: those who offend honor you are the first that I ever mentioned her only against themselves, and are not scandals to to. So I remain society, but, out of deference to the sober part of the world, have so much good left in them as to be ashamed, must not be huddled in the common word due to the worst of women; but regard is to be had to their circumstances when they fell, to the uneasy perplexity under which they lived under senseless and severe parents, to the im "I beg you to burn it when you've read it." т. portunity of poverty, to the violence of a passion No. 275.] TUESDAY, JANUARY 15, 1711-12. tip of it. We discovered several little roads or shall reserve this subject for the speculation of canals running from the ear into the brain, and another day.-L. in its beginning well grounded, and all other alleviations which make unhappy women resign the characteristics of their sex, modesty. To do otherwise than thus, would be to act like a pedantic Stoic, who thinks all crimes alike, and not like an impartial Spectator, who looks upon them with all the circumstances that diminish or enhance the guilt. I am in hopes, if this subject be well pursued, women will hereafter from their infancy be treated with an eye to their future state in the world; and not have their tempers made too untractable from an improper sourness and pride, or too complying from familiarity or forwardness contracted at their own houses. After these hints ou this subject, I shall end this paper with the following genuine letter; and desire all who think they may be concerned in future speculations on this subject, to send in what they have to say for themselves for some incidents in their lives, in order to have proper allowances made for their conduct. "The subject of your yesterday's paper is of so great importance, that the thorough handling of it may be so very useful to the preservation of many an innocent young creature, that I think every one is obliged to furnish you with what lights he can to expose the pernicious arts and practices of those unnatural women called bawds. In order to this, the inclosed is sent you, which is verbatim the copy of a letter written by a bawd of figure in this town to a noble lord. I have concealed the names of both, my intention being not to expose their persons, but the thing. "MY LORD, "I am, Sir, your humble servant." "I, having a great esteem for your honor, and a better opinion of you than of any of the quality, makes me acquaint you of an affair that I hope will oblige you to know. I have a niece that came to town about a fortnight ago. Her parents being lately dead, she came to me, expecting to have found me in so good a condition as to set her up in a milliner's shop. Her father gave fourscore pound with her for five years: her time is out, and she is not sixteen: as pretty a black gentlewoman as ever you saw; a little woman, which 1 know your lordship likes; well-shaped, and as fine a complexion for red and white as ever I saw; I doubt not but your lordship will be of the same opinion. She designs to go down about a month hence, except I can provide for her, which I cannot at present. Her father was one with whom all he had died with him, so there is four children left destitute; so if your lordship thinks proper to make an appointment where I shall wait on you with my niece, by a line or two, I stay for your answer; for I have no place fitted up since I left my house, fit to entertain your honor. I told her she should go with me to see a gentleman, a very good friend of mine; so I desire you to take no notice of my letter, by reason she is ignorant of the ways of the town. My lord, I desire if you meet us to come alone; for upon my word and A head, no hellebore can cure. I was yesterday engaged in an assembly of virtuosos, where one of them produced many curious observations which he had lately made in the anatomy of a human body. Another of the company communicated to us several wonderful discoveries which he had also made on the same subject, by the help of very fine glasses. This gave birth to a great variety of uncommon remarks, and furnished discourse for the remaining part of the day. The different opinions which were started on this occasion presented to my imagination so many new ideas, that by mixing with those which were already there, they employed my fancy all the last night, and composed a very wild, extravagant dream. I was invited, methought, to the dissection of a beau's head, and a coquette's heart, which were both of them laid on a table before us. An imaginary operator opened the first with a great deal of nicety, which upon a cursory and superficial view, appeared like the head of another man; but upon applying our glasses to it, we made a very odd discovery, namely, that what we looked upon as brains, were not such in reality, but a heap of strange materials wound up in that shape and texture, and packed together with wonderful art in the several cavities of the skull. For, as Homer tells us, that the blood of the gods is not real blood, but only something like it; so we found that the brain of a beau is not a real brain, but only something like it. The pineal gland, which many of our modern philosophers suppose to be the seat of the soul, smelt very strong of essence and orange-flower water, and was encompassed with a kind of horny substance, cut into a thousand little faces or mirrors, which were imperceptible to the naked eye, insomuch that the soul, if there had been any here, must have been always taken up in contemplating her own beauties. We observed a large antrum or cavity in the sinciput, that was filled with ribbons, lace, and embroidery, wrought together in a most curious piece of net-work, the parts of which were likewise imperceptible to the naked eye. Another of these antrums or cavities was stuffed with invisible billets-doux, love-letters, pricked dances, and other trumpery of the same nature. another we found a kind of powder, which set the whole company a sneezing, and by the scent discovered itself to be right Spanish. The several other cells were stored with commodities of the same kind, of which it would be tedious to give the reader an exact inventory. In There was a large cavity on each side the head, which I must not omit. That on the right side was filled with fictions, flatteries, and falsehoods, vows, promises, and protestations: that on the left with oaths and imprecations. There issued out a duct from each of these cells, which ran into the root of the tongue, where both joined together, and passed forward in one common duct to the took particular care to trace them out through their several passages. One of them extended itself to a bundle of sonnets and little musical No. 276.] WEDNESDAY, JAN. 16, 1711-12. instruments. Others ended in several bladders which were filled either with wind or froth. But the large canal entered into a great cavity of the skull, from whence there went another canal into the tongue. This great cavity was filled with a kind of spongy substance, which the French anatomists call gallimatias, and the English non sense. The skins of the forehead were extremely tough and thick, and, what very much surprised us, had not in them any single blood-vessel that we were able to discover, either with or without our glasses; from whence we concluded that the party, party, when alive, must have been entirely deprived of the faculty of blushing. The os cribriforme was exceedingly stuffed, and in some places damaged with snuff. We could not but take notice in particular of that small muscle which is not often discovered in dissection, and draws the nose upward, when it expresses the contempt which the owner of it has, upon seeing anything he does not like, or hearing anything he does not understand. I need not tell my learned reader, this is that muscle which perforins the motion so often mentioned by the Latin poets, when they talk of a man's cocking his nose, or playing the rhinoceros. We did not find anything very remakable in the eye, saving only, that the musculi amatorii, or, as we may translate it into English, the ogling muscles, were very much worn and decayed with use; whereas, on the contrary, the elevator, or the muscle which turns the eye toward heaven, did not appear to have been used at all. I have only mentioned in this dissection such new discoveries as we were able to make, and have not taken any notice of those parts which seem to be met with in common heads. As for the skull, the face, and indeed the whole outward shape and figure of the head, we could not discover any difference from what we observe in the heads of other men. We were informed that the person to whom this head belonged, had passed for a man above five-and-thirty years: during which time he ate and drank like other people, "MR. SPECTATOR, "I HOPE you have philosophy enough to be capable of hearing the mention of your faults. Your papers which regard the fallen part of the fair sex are, I think, written with an indelicacy which makes them unworthy to be inserted in the writings of a moralist who knows the world. I cannot allow that you are at liberty to observe upon the actions of mankind with the freedom which you seem to resolve upon; at least, if you do so, you should take along with you the distinction of manners of the world, according to the quality and way of life of the persons concerned. A man of breeding speaks of even misfortune among ladies, without giving it the most terrible aspect it can bear; and this tenderness toward them is much more to be preserved when you speak of vices. All mankind are so far related, that care is to be taken in things to which all are liable, you do not mention what concerns one in terms which shall disgust another. Thus to tell a rich man of the indigence of a kinsman of his, or abruptly to inform a virtuous woman of the lapse of one who until then was in the same degree of esteem with herself, is a kind of involving each of them in some participation of those disadvantages. It is therefore expected from every writer, to treat his argument in such a manner, as is most proper to entertain the sort of readers to whom his discourse is directed. It is not necessary when you write to the tea-table, that you should draw vices which carry all the horror of shame and contempt: if you paint an impertinent self-love, an artful glance, an assumed complexion, you say all which you ought to suppose they can possibly be guilty of. When you talk with limitation, you behave yourself so as that you may expect others in conversation may second your raillery; but when you do it in a style which everybody else forbears in respect to their quality, they have an easy remedy dressed well, talked loud, laughed frequently, in forbearing to read you, and hearing no more and on particular occasions had acquitted him. self tolerably at a ball or an assembly; to which one of the company added, that a certain knot of ladies took him for a wit. He was cut off in the flower of his age by the blow of a paring-shovel, having been surprised by an eminent citizen, as he was tendering some civilities to his wife. When we had thoroughly examined this head, with all its apartments, and its several kinds of furniture, we put up the brain such as it was, into its proper place, and laid it aside under a broad piece of scarlet cloth, in order to be prepared, and kept in a great repository of dissections; our operator telling us that the preparation would not be so difficult as that of another brain, for that he had observed several of the little pipes and tubes which ran through the brain were already filled with a kind of mercurial substance, which he looked upon to be true quicksilver. He applied himself in the next place to the coquette's heart, which he likewise laid open with great dexterity. There occurred to us many particularities in this dissection; but being unwilling to burden my reader's memory too much, I of their faults. A man that is now and then "MR. SPECTATOR, "I AM a woman of an unspotted reputation and know nothing I have ever done which should "You lately put out a dreadful paper, wherein, you promise a full account of the state of criminal love; and call all the fair who have transgressed in that kind by one very rude name which I do not care to repeat: but I desire to know of you whether I am or am not one of those? My case is as follows: I am kept by an old bachelor who took me so young that I know not how he came by me. He is a bencher of one of the inns of court, a very gay, healthy old man, which is a very lucky thing for him: who has been, he tells me; a scowerer, a scamperer, a breaker of win wife of my bosom might profit thereby. But, alas! my friend, I find that thou art a liar, and that the truth is not in thee; else why didst thou in a paper which thou didst lately put forth, make mention of those vain coverings for the heads of our females, which thou lovest to liken unto tulips, and which are lately sprung up among us? Nay, why didst thou make mention of them in such a seeming, as if thou didst approve the invention, insomuch that my daughter Tabitha beginneth to wax wanton, and to lust after these foolish vanities? Surely thou dost see with the eyes of the flesh. Verily, therefore, unless thou dost speedily amend, and leave off following thine own imaginations, I will leave off thee. dows, and invader of constables, in the days of No. 277.] THURSDAY, JANUARY 17, 1711-12. yore, when all dominion ended with the day, and males and females met helter-skelter, and the scowerers drove before them all who pretended to keep up order or rule to the interruption of love and honor. This is his way of talk, for he is very gay when he visits me; but as his former knowledge of the town has alarmed him into an invincible jealousy, he keeps me in a pair of slippers, neat bodice, warm petticoats, and my own hair woven in ringlets, after a manner, he says, he remembers. I am not mistress of one farthing of money, but have all necessaries provided for me, under the guard of one who procured for him while he had any desires to gratify. I know nothing of a wench's life but the reputation of it: I have a natural voice, and a pretty untaught step in dancing. His manner is to bring an old fellow who has been his servant from his youth, and is gray-headed. This man makes on the violin a certain jiggish noise to which I dance, and when that is over I sing to him some loose air that has more wantonness than music in it. You must have seen a strange windowed house near Hydepark, which is so built that no one can look out of any of the apartments: my rooms are after this manner, and I never see man, woman, or child, but in company with the two persons above-mentioned. He sends me in all the books, pamphlets, plays, operas, and songs, that come out; and his utmost delight in me, as a woman, is to talk over his old amours in my presence, to play with my neck, say 'the time was, give me a kiss, and bid me be sure to follow the directions of my guardian (the above-mentioned lady), and I shall never want. The truth of my case is, I suppose, that I was educated for a purpose he did not know he should be unfit for when I came to years. Now Sir, what I ask of you as a casuist, is to tell me how far in these circumstances I am innocent, though submissive; he guilty, though mpotent? "I am, Sir, your constant Reader, "PUCELLA." "TO THE MAN CALLED THE SPECTATOR. 'FRIEND, fas est et ab hoste doceri. OVID, Met., lib. iv, ver. 428. Receive instruction from an enemy. I PRESUME I need not inform the polite part of my readers, that before our correspondence with France was unhappily interrupted by the war, our ladies had all their fashions from thence; which the milliners took care to furnish them with by means of a jointed baby, that came regularly over once a month, habited after the manner of the most eminent toasts in Paris. I am credibly informed, that even in the hottest time of the war, the sex made several efforts, and raised large contributions toward the importation of this wooden mademoiselle. Whether the vessel they sent out was lost or taken, or whether its cargo was seized on by the officers of the custom-house as a piece of contra band goods, I have not yet been able to learn: it is however certain, that their first attempts were without success, to the no small disappointment of our whole female world; but as their constancy and application, in a matter of so great importance, can never be sufficiently commended, so I am glad to find, that in spite of all opposition, they have at length carried their point, of which I received advice by the two following letters: "MR. SPECTATOR, "I am so great a lover of whatever is French, that I lately discarded an humble admirer, because he neither spoke that tongue nor drank claret. I have long bewailed in secret the calamities of my sex during the war, in all which time we have labored under the insupportable inventions of English tire-women, who though they sometimes copy indifferently well, can never compose with that gout' they do in France. "1 was almost in despair of ever more seeing a model from that dear country, when last Sunday I overheard a lady in the next pew to me whisper another, that at the Seven Stars, in King-street, Covent-garden, there was a mademoiselle completely dressed, just come from Paris. "I was in the utmost impatience during the remaining part of the service, and as soon as ever it was over, having learnt the milliner's ' addresse,' I went directly to her house in King-street, but was told that the French lady was at a person's of quality in Pall-mall, and would not be back again until very late that night. I was therefore obliged to renew my visit early this morning, "Forasmuch as at the birth of thy labor, thou diast promise upon thy word, that, letting alone the vanities that do abound, thou wouldst only endeavor to straighten the crooked morals of this our Babylon, I gave credit to thy fair speeches, and admitted one of thy papers, every day, save Sunday, into my house, for the edification of my and had then a full view of the dear moppet from daughter Tabitha, and to the end that Susanna the | head to foot. "You cannot imagine, worthy Sir, how ridi- | because she is not talkative; a quality very rarely culously I find we have been trussed up during to be met with in the rest of her country women. the war, and how infinitely the French dress excels ours. "The mantua has no lead in the sleeves, and I hope we are not lighter than the French ladies, As I was taking my leave, the milliner further informed me, that with the assistance of a watchmaker, who was her neighbor, and the ingenious Mr. Powel, she had also contrived another puppet, so as to want that kind of ballast; the petticoat | which by the help of several little springs to be has no whalebone, but sits with an air altogether gallant and degagé: the coiffure is inexpressibly pretty, and in short, the whole dress has a thou sand beauties in it which I would not have as yet made too public. "I thought fit, however, to give you this notice, that you may not be surprised at my appearing à la mode de Paris on the next birth-night. "I am Sir, your humble Servant, "TERAMINTA." wound up within it, could move all its limbs, and that she had sent it over to her correspondent in Paris to be taught the various leanings and bendings of the head, the risings of the bosom, the courtesy, and recovery, the genteel trip, and the agreeable jet, as they are all now practiced at the court of France. She added, that she hoped she might depend upon having my encouragement as soon as it arrived; but as this was a petition of too great importance to be answered extempore, I left her Within an hour after I had read this letter, I re- without a reply, and made the best of my way to ceived another from the owner of the puppet. "SIR, "On Saturday last, being the 12th instant, there arrived at my house in King-street, Covent-garden, a French baby for the year 1712. I have taken the utmost care to have her dressed by the most celebrated tire-women and mantua-makers in Paris, and do not find that I have any reason to be sorry for the expense I have been at in her clothes and importation: however, as I know no person who is so good a judge of dress as yourself, if you please to call at my house in your way to the city, and take a view of her, I promise to amend whatever you shall disapprove in your next paper, before I exhibit her as a pattern to the public. "I am, Sir, your most humble Admirer, "and most obedient Servant, "BETTY CROSS-STITCH." a cherry-colored The puppet was dressed in gown and petticoat, with a short working apron over it, which discovered her shape to the most advantage. Her hair was cut and divided very prettily, with several ribbons stuck up and down in it. The milliner assured me, that her complexion was such as was worn by the ladies of the best fashion in Paris. Her head was extremely high, on which subject having long since declared my sentiments, I shall say nothing more to it at present. I was also offended at a small patch she wore on her breast, which I cannot suppose is placed there with any good design. Her necklace was of an immoderate length, being tied before in such a manner, that the two ends hung down to her girdle; but whether these supply the place of kissing-strings in our enemy's country, and whether our British ladies have any occasion for them, I shall leave to their serious consideration. After having observed the particulars of her dress, as I was taking a view of it altogether, the shopmaid, who is a pert wench, told me that mademoiselle had something very curious in the tying of her garters; but as I pay a due respect even to a pair of sticks when they are under petticoats, I did not examine into that particular. Upon the whole, I was well enough pleased with the appearance of this gay lady, and the more so, Will Honeycomb's lodgings, without whose advice I never communicate anything to the public of this nature.-X. No. 278.] FRIDAY, JANUARY 18, 1711-12 "SIR, -Sermones ego mallem HOR. 1 Ep. ii, 250. I rather choose a low and creeping style. "MR. SPECTATOR, a "Your having done considerable services in this great city, by rectifying the disorders of families, and several wives having preferred your ad vice and directions to those of their husbands, emboldens me to apply to you at this time. I am a shop. keeper, and though but a young man, I find by experience that nothing but the utmost diligence both of husband and wife (among trading people) can keep affairs in any tolerable order. My wife, at the beginning of our establishment, showed herself very assisting to me in my business as much as could lie in her way, and I have reason to believe it was with her inclination; but of late she has got acquainted with schoolman, who values himself for his great knowledge in the Greek tongue. He entertains her frequently in the shop with discourses of the beauties and excellencies of that language; and repeats to her several passages out of the Greek poets, wherein he tells her there is unspeakable harmony and agreeable sounds that all other languages are wholly unacquainted with. He has so infatuated her with this jargon, that instead of using her former diligence in the shop, she now neglects the affairs of the house, and is wholly taken up with her tutor in learning by heart scraps of Greek, which she vents upon all occasions. She told me some days ago, that whereas I use some Latin inscriptions in my shop, she advised me with a great deal of concern to have them changed into Greek; it being a language less understood, would be more conformable to the mystery of my profession; that our good friend would be assisting to us in this work; and that a certain faculty of gentlemen would find themselves so much obliged to me, that they would infallibly make my fortune. In short, her frequent importunities upon this, and other impertinences of the like nature, make me very uneasy; and if your remonstrances have no more effect upon her than mine, I am afraid I shall be obliged to ruin myself to procure her a settlement at Oxford with her tutor, for she is already too mad for Bedlam. Now, Sir, you see the danger my family is exposed to, and the likelihood of my wife's becoming both troublesome and useless, anless her reading herself in your paper may make against the opera itself. What we pretend to assert her reflect. She is so very learned that I cannot pretend by word of mouth to argue with her. She laughed out at your ending a paper in Greek, and said it was a hint to women of literature, and very civil not to translate it to expose them to the vulgar. You see how it is with, "MR. SPECTATOR, "Sir, your humble Servant." "If you have that humanity and compassion in your nature that you take such pains to make one think you have, you will not deny your voice to a distressed damsel, who intends to be determined by your judgment in a matter of great importance to her. You must know then, there is an agreeable young fellow, to whose person, wit, and humor nobody makes any objection, that pretends to have been long in love with me. To this I must add (whether it proceeds from the vanity of my nature, or the seeming sincerity of my lover, I will not pretend to say), that I verily believe he is, that the songs of different authors injudiciously "We are, Sir, your most humble Servants, "There will be no performances in York-build has a real value for me; which, if true, you will ings until after that of the subscription."-T. allow may justly augment his merit with his mis tress. In short, I am so sensible of his good qualities, and what I owe to his passion, that I think I could sooner resolve to give up my liberty No. 279.] SATURDAY, JANUARY 19, 1711-12. to him than anybody else, were there not an objection to be made to his fortunes, in regard they do not answer the utmost mine may expect, and are not sufficient to secure me from undergoing the reproachful phrase, so commonly used, that she has played the fool.' Now though I am one of those few who heartily despise equipage, diamonds. and a coxcomb, yet since such opposite notions from mine prevail in the world, even among the best, and such as are esteemed the most Reddere personæ scit convenientia cuique HOR. Ars. Poet., v, 316. He knows what best befits each character. We have already taken a general survey of the fable and characters in Milton's Paradise Lost. The parts which remain to be considered, according to Aristotle's method, are the sentiments and the language. Before I enter upon the first of these, I must advertise my reader, that it is my prudent people, I cannot find in my heart to re- design, as soon as I have finished my general resolve upon incurring the censure of those wise folks, flections on these four several heads, to give parwhich I am conscious I shall do, if, when I enter ticular instances out of the poem which is now into a married state, I discover a thought beyond that of equaling, if not advancing my fortunes. Under this difficulty I now labor, not being in the least determined whether I shall be governed by the vain world, and the frequent examples I meet with, or hearken to the voice of my lover, and the motions I find in my heart in favor of him. Sir, your opinion and advice in this affair is the only thing I know can turn the balance, and which I earnestly entreat I may receive soon; for until I have your thoughts upon it, I am engaged not to give my swain a final discharge. "Beside the particular obligation you will lay on me, by giving this subject room in one of your papers, it is possible it may be of use to some others of my sex, who will be as grateful for the favor as, "Sir, your humble Servant, "FLORINDA." "P. S. To tell you the truth I am married to him already, but pray say something to justify me." "MR. SPECTATOR, "You will forgive us professors of music if we make a second application to you, in order to promote our design of exhibiting entertainments of music in York-buildings. It is industriously insinuated that our intention is to destroy operas in general, but we beg of you to insert this plain explanation of ourselves in your paper. Our purpose is only to improve our circumstances, by improving the art which we profess. We see it before us of beauties and imperfections which may be observed under each of them, as also of such other particulars as may not properly fall under any of them. This I thought fit to premise, that the reader may not judge too hastily of this piece of criticism, or look upon it as imperfect, before he has seen the whole extent of it. The sentiments in an epic poem are the thoughts and behavior which the author ascribes to the persons whom he introduces, and are just when they are conformable to the characters of the several persons. The sentiments have likewise a relation to things as well as persons, and are then perfect when they are such as are adapted to the subject. If in either of these cases the poet endeavors to argue or explain, to magnify or diminish, to raise love or hatred, pity or terror, or any other passion, we ought to consider whether the sentiments he makes use of are proper for those ends. Homer is censured by the critics for his defect as to this particular in several parts of the Iliad and Odyssey, though at the same time those who have treated this great poet with candor, have attributed this defect to the times in which he lived. It was the fault of the age and not of Homer, if there wants that delicacy in some of his sentiments, which now appears in the works of men of a much inferior genius. Beside, if there are blemishes in any particular thoughts, there is an infinite beauty in the greatest part of them. In short, if there are many poets who would not have fallen into the meanness of some of his sentiments, there are none who could have risen up to the greatness of others. Virgil has excelled all utterly destroyed at present; and as we were the others in the propriety of his sentiments. Milton persons who introduced operas, we think it a shines likewise very much in this particular: nor groundless imputation that we should set up must we omit one consideration which adds to his |