Or velvet foft, or plush with fhaggy pile : The hardy chief, upon the rugged rock Wash'd by the fea, or on the grav❜lly bank Thrown up by wintry torrents, roaring loùd, Fearless of wrong, repos'd his weary strength. Those barb'rous ages paft, fucceeded next The birth-day of invention, weak at first, Dull in design, and clumsy to perform. Joint-ftools were then created; on three legs Upborne they stood: three legs upholding firm A maffy flab, in fashion square or round.
On fuch a ftool immortal Alfred fat,
And fway'd the fceptre of his infant realms : And fuch, in ancient halls and mansions drear, May still be seen; but perforated fore
And drill'd in holes, the folid oak is found, By worms voracious eating through and through. At length a generation more refin'd,
Improv'd the fimple plan; made three legs four ; Gave them a twisted form vermicular;
And, o'er the feat with plenteous wadding stuff'd, Induced a fplendid cover, green and blue, Yellow and red, of tap'ftry richly wrought And woven close, or needle-work fublime. There might ye see the piony spread wide, The full-blown rofe, the fhepherd and his lafs, Lap-dog and lambkin with black staring eyes, And parrots with twin cherries in their beak.
Now came the cane from India smooth and
With Nature's varnish; fever'd into stripes That interlaced each other, these supplied Of texture firm a lattice-work, that brac'd The new machine, and it became a chair. But reftlefs was the chair; the back erect Distress'd the weary loins that felt no eafe; The flipp'ry feat betray'd the sliding part
That prefs'd it, and the feet hung dangling down, Anxious in vain to find the diftant floor.
These for the rich: the reft, whom fate had plac'd In modeft mediocrity, content
With base materials, fat on well-tann'd hides Obdurate and unyielding, glaffy smooth, With here and there a tuft of crimson yarn, Or fcarlet crewel in the cushion fixt :
If cushion might be call'd, what harder feem'd Than the firm oak of which the frame was form'd. No want of timber then was felt or fear'd
In Albion's happy ifle. The umber stood Pond'rous, and fixt by its own maffy weight. But elbows still were wanting; thefe, fome fay, An Alderman of Cripplegate contriv'd, And some ascribe th' invention to a priest Burly and big and ftudious of his ease. But rude at first, and not with easy flope Receding wide, they press'd against the ribs,
And bruis'd the fide, and elevated high Taught the rais'd fhoulders to invade the ears. Long time elaps'd or.e'er our rugged fires. Complain'd, though incommodiously pent in, And ill at eafe behind. The Ladies first 'Gan murmur, as became the fofter sex. Ingenious fancy, never better pleas'd
Than when employ'd t' accommodate the fair, Heard the fweet moan with pity, and devis'd The foft fettee; one elbow at each end And in the midft an elbow, it receiv'd, United yet divided, twain at once.
So fit two Kings of Brentford on one throne`; And fo two citizens, who take the air, Close pack'd and fmiling in a chaife and one. But relaxation of the languid frame, By foft recumbency of outstretch'd limbs, Was blifs referv'd for happier days. So flow The growth of what is excellent, fo hard T'attain perfection in this nether world. Thus first neceffity invented ftools, Convenience next fuggested elbow-chairs, And luxury th' accomplish'd Sofa laft. The nurse fleeps fweetly, hir'd to watch the
Whom fnoring she disturbs. As fweetly he Who quits the coach-box at the midnight hour To fleep within the carriage more fecure,
His legs depending at the open door. Sweet fleep enjoys the Curate in his defk, The tedious Rector drawling o'er his head, And sweet the Clerk below: but neither fleep Of lazy Nurse, who fnores the fick man dead, Nor his who quits the box at midnight hour To flumber in the carriage more fecure, Nor fleep enjoy'd by Curate in his desk, Nor yet the dozings of the Clerk are sweet, Compar'd with the repofe the SOFA yields. Oh may I live exempted (while I live Guiltlefs of pamper'd appetite obfcene) From pangs arthritic that infeft the toe Of libertine excefs. The SOFA fuits The gouty limb, 'tis true; but gouty limb, Though on the SOFA, may I never feel: For I have lov'd the rural walk through lanes Of graffy fwarth clofe cropt by nibbling sheep, And fkirted thick with intertexture firm Of thorny boughs: have lov'd the rural walk O'er hills, through valleys, and by rivers brink, E'er fince a truant boy I pass'd my bounds T' enjoy a ramble on the banks of Thames. And still remember, nor without regret Of hours that forrow fince has much endear'd, How oft, my flice of pocket ftore confum'd, Still hung'ring, pennylefs and far from home, I fed on fcarlet hips and ftony haws,
Or blufhing crabs, or berries that imbofs The bramble, black as jet, or floes auftere. Hard fare! but fuch as boyish appetite Difdains not, nor the palate undeprav'd By culinary arts, unfav'ry deems. No SOFA then awaited my return, Nor SOFA then I needed. Youth repairs His wafted fpirits quickly, by long toil Incurring fhort fatigue; and though our years. As life declines, fpeed rapidly away, And not a year but pilfers as he goes
Some youthful grace that age would gladly keep, A tooth or auburn lock, and by degrees
Their length and colour from the locks they fpare; Th' elastic spring of an unwearied foot
That mounts the ftile with ease, or leaps the fence,
'That play of lungs inhaling and again Refpiring freely the fresh air, that makes Swift pace or steep ascent no toil to me, Mine have not pilfer'd yet; nor yet impair'd My relifh of fair profpect; scenes that footh'd Or charm'd me young, no longer young, I find Still foothing and of power to charm me still. And witness, dear companion of my walks, Whose arm this twentieth winter I perceive Fast lock'd in mine, with pleasure such as love Confirm'd by long experience of thy worth
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