Oldc. To my niece too, I hope, And then I may hang her.

Guard. No, sir; to my niece, thatîk Cupid! And that's all that's likely to recover nie; She's lady Fop now, and I am one of her aunts, I thank my promotion.

Enter Credulous, Cunningham, Niece, Gregory, and Mirabel.

Cred. I have performed Your bebe.t, sir.

Olde. What have you perform'd, sir? Huty. Faith, sir, I must excuse my cousin in this act,

If you can excuse yourself for making him A priest; there's the most difficult answer. prt this practice on him, as from your deA trut, a truth, father. [sire:

I

Cred. I protest, sir, he tells you truth; He mov'd me to't in your name.

Olde. I protest, sir,

He told you a lie in my name! and were you So easy, Mr. Credulous, to believe him?

Cred. If a man should not believe his Whom should he believe?

[cousin, sir, [fair bride,

Oldc. Good e'en to you, Good Mr. cousin Cunningham and your My cousin Cunningham too! And how do Sir Gregory, with your fair lady? [you, Greg. A little better [sir! Than you would have had me, I thank you, The days of puppy and slave, and rascal, are Pretty well blown over now; I know crabs from verjuice, [niece for nothing,

I have tried both: an thou'dst give me thy I'd not have her.

Cunn. I think so, sir Gregory; For my sake you would not.

Greg. I would thou hadst 'scap'd her too! And then she had died of the green-sickness. Know this,

That I did marry in spite, and I

Will kiss my lady in spite, and love her in spite,

And beget children of her in spite, [spite! And when I die, they shall have my lands in This was my resolution, and now 'tis out.

Niece. How spiteful are you now, sir Gregory![husband, Why, look you, I can love my dearest With all the honours, duties, sweet embraces, That can be thrown upon a loving man.

Greg. Pox, this is afore your uncle's face; but behind his back,

In private, you'll shew him another tale! Cunn. You see, sir, now, the irrecoverable

state

Of all these things before you. Come out of your muse!

Oldc. Let me alone in my muse, a little, sir! I will wake to you anon.

Cunn. Udso, your friend Pompey!
How will you answer him?
Niece. Very well;

If you'll but second it, and help me.
Pompey. I do hear

Strange stories: are ladies things obnoxious?
Niece. Oh, the dissembling falsest wretch
Cunn. How no✩; .ady?
[is come!

Niece. Let me come to him!

And, instead of love, let me have revenge!
Witty. Pray you now,

Will you first examine, whether he be
Guilty or no.

Niece. He cannot be excus'd !—
How many messengers, thou perjur'd man,
Hast thou return'd with vows and oaths, that
thou would'st

Follow, and ne'er 'till this unhappy hour Could I set eye of thee, since thy false eye Drew my heart to't? Oh, I could tear thee [leave

now, Instead of soft embraces! Pray give me Witty. Faith, this was ill done of you, sir, if You promis'd otherwise.

Pompey. By this hand,

Never any messenger came at me, since
The first time I came into her company!
That a man should be wronged thus!
Niece. Did not

I send thee scarfs and diamonds? and thou
Return'dst me letters, one with a false heart
in't.
[falshoods,
Witty. Oh, fy! to receive favours, return
And hold a lady in hand-

Pompey. Will you believe me, sir? If ever I received diamonds, or scarf, Or sent any letter to her, 'would this sword Might ne'er go thro' me!

Witty. Some bad messengers Have gone between you then.

Niece. Take him

Than I could do: 'twas her own pleasure
To command me, that I should not come
"Till I was sent for; I had been with her
Every minute of an hour else.

Witty. Truly, I believe you.
Pompey. Night and day.

She might have commanded me, and that she knew well enough;

I said as much to her between her and I;
Yet I protest, she is as honest a lady
For my part, that I'd say, if she would see me
hang'd.

If she be cast away, I got help it; [man.
She might have stay'd to have spoke with a
Witty. Well,

'Twas a hard miss on both parts.

Pompey. So it was;

I was within one of her, for all this cross luck; I was sure I was between the knight and home. Nicce. Not gone yet? Oh, my heart! none regard my health?

Witty. Good sir, forbear her sight awhile! You hear how ill she brooks it.

Pompey. Foolish woman,

To overthrow her fortunes so! I shall think
The worse of a lady's wit while I live for't.
I could almost cry for ager! if she should
Miscarry now, 'twould touch my conscience
a little;

[do?

[hav't; This was the day i look'd for! Thou shalt And the next cheat makes it up three hun dred.

Live thou upon thy ten-pound vicarage; Thou get'st not a penny more: here's thy full Hire now.

Cred. I thank you, sir.

Witty. Why, there was the sum of all my wit, father,

[fear'd To shove him out of your favour, which I Would have disinherited me.

[here

Olde. Most certain it had, Had not thy wit recover'd it. Is there any That had a hand with thee? Witty. Yes, all these, sir.

-Olde. Nephew, part a hundred pound amongst 'em;

I'll repay't. Wealth love me as I love wit; when I die,

I'll build an alms-house for decayed wits!

Greg. I'll entertain one in my lifetime: scholar,

You shall be my chaplain; I have the gift Of twenty benefices, simple as I am here. Pris. Thanks, my great patron! Cunn. Sir, your gentry and Your name shall both be rais'd as high my fortunes can reach 'em, for your friend's sake.

As

[cousin ;

would not