I DIE ON A BED OF ROSES. My father's flocks adorn'd the plain, Retirement's joys possessing; He flourish'd in the sun's mild reign, His home and children blessing: When round us rag'd destructive war, And fire and slaughter spread afar, Defeated, shamed, Our sire exclaimed, My sons, high heaven disposes ;- Yet those we dread We wander'd long on mountains wild, On bed of straw, Still heaven, he cried, disposes; My sons, behold, In honour bold, I die on a bed of roses.' WHEN LEILA TOUCHED THE LUTE. (T. Moore.) WHEN Leila touch'd the lute, Not then alone 'twas felt; To string with gold her lyre? And soft ones suit not gold, THE SKITTLE CLUB. AIR-" Mail Coach." And leaves the shop at home, For pleasure bowl along; SPOKEN, in different voices.] "Ay, here they are, pair'd off like the wild beasts in the ark." "Yes, and their voices are almost as various." "Choose in, choose in, gentlemen." "Clear away the dead wood." "Three gone?" "Well, here's more a coming, for here's brother Twist will give us a Bermondsey-screw." 66 Why, yes, sir, I feel a bias that way.' "Flimsy of the Bank, 'tis your turn to go.' "What's the state of the game?" "Why, two ties, but three loses." " That's what I call 3 per Cents reduced." "Sink the shop." ." "With all my heart, and then we should wipe off the National Debt." "That may be wit, but we must not meddle with politics, eh, Mr. Secretary?" No, but we allow chaffing, for one of our articles expressly says, we meet here to Hear a little bother, And laugh at one another, And to pass the time away." Thus begins the noise and fun, sir, And the wit it flies about; The porter's all drank out: And quizzing's all the go; SPOKEN.] "Clear a passage for the mud pilot, and he'll carry the middle pin like a spare topmast." "Did you hear any thing knock?" "Yes, that was a heavy fall of timber." " Why so hard gemmen? he's got among the straits." "Och! dirty water upon you seamen, how fond you are of rigging." "Now let's give the tinker a turn, for I think he carries too much metal for us." "Score 'em, score 'em, Mr. Secretary, and let's have no more chaffing." "Why sir, that's always allowed in this here society, for one of our articles expressly says, that we meet here to Hear a little bother, &c Take three pints here and a Roman, I can no longer stay ;- So take my money first :Then pray let me be second, For a gallon man I'm reckon'd, And my belly sure will burst. SPOKEN.]" Aye, you've shipp'd a rare cargo of heavy wet, and without any drawback." "That's because he belongs to Pulling's gang." "There's three-pence for that 'are gemmem to pay as a nonsubscriber." 66 Why, that must be a mistake, for I'm no subscriber at all." "Lord, how larned, he does not know nothing of the negative." "Call back the tinker, for he's push'd off a bad sixpence." "That looks as if he was not out of brass.' My wig, how the Romans have put the Taffy out of temper. I'm afraid he'll not give us a Welsh air." "Well, never mind, perhaps he'll give us a Welsh rabbit." "Go it, my lads, go it, lots of chaffing; but one of our articles expressly says, we meet here to Hear a little bother, &c. CAPTAIN MULLIGAN. Air-"Morgiana in Ireland." LOVE's a plague by night and by day, That bother'd the heart of the brave Captain Brisk and merrily, light and gay, Quite an Adonis was Captain Mulligan; Cruel, jewel, willing, killing, Captain Mulligan. Face just like the moon in full again, Legs in shape like a tailor's shears, You ne'er saw the fellow of Captain Mulligan, Limping, twaddling, Miss O'Shea; Glances pitching him, quite bewitching him, Ogling bonnily, squinting funnily, She was a Venus to Captain Mulligan. "O, sweet Kitty, you're so pretty!" Soft she cried, the brave O'Mulligan; "O sweet Kitty! Pretty, witty, Kitty, pity Captain Mulligan. Love, once fierce, faith! soon grew cool again, Scolding, fighting him, horns affrighting him, "Och! be aisy now, troth, you're crazy now, The devil go with you, then, Mr. Mulligan, Faith, I knew it, I should rue it. Sad he cried, poor Captain Mulligan, "You're my gruel! Cruel, jewel, killing, milling, Mistress Mulligan." WHEN Arthur first at court began The Scot loved ale called blue-tap, Usquebaugh burnt the Irishman s throat, The Welshman had like to be choked by a mouse, All for to go along with him, Fol de riddle lol, &c. "Come, come," said he, "'ere morning's beam." "I vont," said she, and she screamed a scream, Then she woke, and found she dreamed a dream. Fol de riddle lol, &c. THE BEAUTIFUL BOY. IT was one winter's day, about six in the morn, more, But none of them saw such a baby before : We'll make him a beautiful boy. To make him a beauty, cried out Mrs. Sneer, We'll be troubled, without the child has a sweet leer: Then to give me this leer, Mrs. Glazier arose, The ladies know'd not what to think, oh; All to make me a beautiful boy. To make me accomplish'd I wanted one thing, Crying, pull away now, Mrs. Ryder, My dear mouth they split pretty nigh, sir, Now being complete, I was next sent to school, And to show off my make was stuck on a high stool: When the children went home they eried with surprise, We've a new boy at school with such beautifu! eyes, He can look any way so handy, Such a mouth he has got to suck candy, T'other day I was ask'd in the city to dine, And such a sweet mouth for mince pies, Now, ladies, beware of love's powerful darts, And doat on my charms, till you languish and die; Yet, believe me, whenever you call, My endeavours will be to please all, Although such a beautiful boy. THIS life's a day's journey, we rise in the morn, Thus we jog on till dinner, now wet and now dry, Now refresh'd, we set forward to end our career: But the roads are uneven, we trip, are bemir'd, And jolted, and jostled, and tumbled, and tired; Yet we keep a good heart and our spirits are light, In hopes we shall meet with a good inn at night. THE WANTON WIDOW; OR, DISTRACTED MRS. WIGGINS. A WANTON widow, old and sour, To wear her weeds no more-a :- She sigh'd, she panted, rolled her eyes, She lik'd him, though he came so rude, Oh! Mistress Wiggins, &c. This damsel's name was Sally Prim, Her daddy was a brazier; The youth was nick-nam'd Billy Slim, And was by trade a glazier; Their hands they join'd in wedlock's tie, And told their joy in kisses. Let this a warning word imply, To widows and old misses! IN vain, dear friends, each art you try : The empty coxcomb which you chose, Than me, much wiser are deceived. I thank you both, then, for your love, Wait for my choice a little while; And he who most shall worthy prove, My hand I'll offer with a smile. THE FEMALE VOLUNTEER. Air" The White Cockade."—(C. Dibdin.) IN danger's hour, when our haughty foes Our British standard dare oppose, When our gallant lads are obliged to roam, Why should women idly stay at home? I'm volunteer turn'd, and, indeed, what's more, A smart drill serjeant of the corps; And whenever our Old England's claims require, Can soon "make ready, present, and fire!" I'm a merry little wag in a scarlet frock, And my heart's as stout as my musket-stock. The rat-tat-too I love to hear, Like a merry little British volunteer. With Britain's foes what can't we do? When, sirs, you must own we can conquer you. See us marshall'd out, and the fight begun, The words " charge bayonet!" away they run, While we pink the cowards as they fly, Till loudly all for quarter cry; And as mercy's the pride of the British throne, Their arms all grounded to our view, "Tis "shoulder arms!" and we march away. And toasts, with voice and heart, with three, I'm a merry little wag, &c. "TWAS one morning in May, the weather but queer, Rather hazy, a sort of a mizzle, When with a love song I was shot through the ear leave, To lie down in these deserts to die. Then, come to me, &c. Why, a bench of judges might have shook their wigs, | Are the sighs and the tears of the youth thou must The muses in vain would describe her in song, Then to see all the chickens come tumbling up, While chanticleer cried to his hens, clook, clook, clook, clook, clook, clook, Took, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, took. Not the hens and the cocks, not the cocks and the hens, Though their tails and their wings were all made into pens, Could e'er describe Grizzle while feeding the hens. Then I awkwardly burn the child's mouth with the ON THIS COLD FLINTY ROCK. On this cold flinty rock I will lay down my head, Then, come to me, my gentle dear, my bosom now creep, I will sing thee And kiss from thy lid the sad tear. This innocent flower, which those rude cliffs unfold, Is thou, love, the joy of this earth, But the rock that it springs from, so flinty and cold, Is thy father that gave thee thy birth. Then, come to me, &c. The dews that now hang on the cheek of the eve, And the winds that do mournfully cry, ........ WHO'S TO BLAME BUT OUR MASTERS. THE life of a valet for me, he So airy, so gay, and so free, But no pain they afford, And, by the by, If such is our plan, Like master like man, Who's to blame but our masters? SPOKEN.] My first master was the tippy of the ton, gave concertos and desertos; Frippero, says he, invite signors and signoras Squallo, Naturallo, Flatto, Sharpo, and Jew's Harp O! Crotcheteni, Quaverini, Fiddledini, Flautini, Rosinini, Clarinetti, Castagnetti, Bassooni, Tromboni, Double Drummi, and flat hummi. For the thing for me Is a life of glee, fashion's all fiddle de dee. Some servants I own are quite nice, And talk about virtue and vice; But now from our school Is expelled as a bore: They ne'er dress fine,-Drink wine, In plots league,-Game, intrigue, Swear, strut,-Quiz, put, Talk high,-Palm a lie, Fire away,-D-n a play, To them faults are only disasters. They won't dress,-Mess, Drink,-Think, Game,-Flame, League,-Intrigue, Plot,-Sot, Stare,-Swear, Strut,-Cut, Fly,--Lie, And, by the by, If such is their plan, Who's to blame but their masters? SPOKEN.] All decency and decorum, not habit like fashion, that's all delightful hurry, scurry, flurry, worry, tattle, prattle, rattle, bustle, rustle, merry muscle, gaming, flaming, dashing, splashing, crashing, gallanting, chanting, spattering, flattering, chattering, prancing, dancing, riddleing, and fiddleing. For the thing for me, &c. |