to be himself present. "Gentlemen," said Grant, | As many of his eccentricities have already figured quietly knocking the ashes from his cigar, and look- in the public journals, I am only adding to the list ing around at the officers near him, "you see a se- by giving you the subjoined: vere Winter approaching, and I advise you to have the boys keep up a good fire!" "DOCTOR," said a hard-looking customer the other day to a physician, "I am troubled with a depression, an uneasiness about the breast. What do you suppose the matter is ?" "All very easily accounted for," said the physician; "you have water on the chest." "Water! Come, that will do well enough for a joke; but how could I get water on my chest, when I haven't touched a drop for more than fifteen years ?" Nor long after his first brief, a circumstance occurred which elicited the first scintillation of Curran's genius, and rendered him a terror alike to the bench and the bar. Lord Robertson, one of the presiding judges, was very unpopular both as a man and a jurist. He had undertaken to edit an edition of Blackstone, but being afraid of the critics, he simply gave it the title of "Blackstone's Commentaries, by a Member of the Irish Bar." Soon after the work appeared Curran was pleading a case before his lordship, when the judge interrupted him, and said: "Gentlemen of the jury, the learned counsel has mistaken the law of this case. The law is so and so." To which Curran tartly replied: "If his lordship says so, the etiquette of the court demands that I submit, though neither the statute nor common law of the country should sanction his lordship's opinion; but it is my duty and privilege, too, to inform you, gentlemen of the jury, that I have never seen the law so interpreted in any book of my library." Lord Robertson sneeringly replied, "Perhaps your library is rather small, Mr. Curran." "I admit," said Curran, "my library is small; but I have always found it more profitable to read good books than to publish bad ones-books which their very authors and editors are ashamed to own." "Sir," said the judge, "you are forgetting the dignity of the judicial character." To this Curran promptly replied: "Speaking of dignity, your lordship reminds me of a book I have read-I refer to Tristram Shandy'-in which, if your lordship has read it, you will remember that the Irish Buffer Roche, on engaging in a squabble, lent his coat to a by-stander, and after the fight was ended he discovered that he had got a good beating and lost his coat into the bargain-your lordship can apply the illustration." "Sir," said the judge, very petulantly, "if you say another word I'll commit you." "If you do, my lord," replied Curran, coolly, "both you and I shall have the pleasure of reflecting that I am not the worst thing your lordship has committed." FROM Cherry Grove, Sangamon County, Illinois, we have two very clever stories, which the writer says he is sure have never been published. About four years ago Beau might have been seen one day sitting in front of the Planters' Hotel, St. Louis, in what he frequently termed his normal state-"dead broke." It so happened, too, that he was sadly in need of means with which to liquidate a small hotel bill and pay his passage to Chicago. Suddenly a bright idea seemed to strike him. He remembered an acquaintance in the city, and rushing into the hotel he indited the following note, which he dispatched by a messenger: PLANTERS' HOTEL, ———, 1861. DEAR L: I have made a bet of twenty dollars that you will lend me that amount upon application. Please send it by the bearer, and I will divide the winning. Will send you your share of the bet immediately. In haste, HACKETT. Unfortunately I had not so much money about him, but the opportunity for making ten was too good to lose. He was not long in raising the money, and then, with itching palm, awaited the return. A second note came promptly, which ran as follows: DEAR L-: I scarcely know how to thank you for your kindness. Inclosed find ten dollars-your share of the bet. As there was nothing said about the time in which I should return the twenty that I borrowed, please excuse payment until a more convenient period, when I can better spare it. Thine, etc., H. "Sold! sold!" exclaimed L, as he recognized the inevitable Hackettism. It is safe to presume that he never loaned twenty dollars on a bet again. ON another occasion Beau was in want of a railroad pass from Cincinnati to Pittsburg. After obtaining an introduction to the passenger agent be represented that he was out of money, and as a speedy visit to the Iron City was a pressing necessity he would like to obtain a free pass. "Never do business in that way," replied the agent. "And it's seldom that I do," said the wag, assuming a melancholy air; "but my father is not expected to live, and under such circumstances I thought you might accommodate me." "And under such circumstances I certainly will, although it is contrary to our rules," said the agent, patronizingly, at the same time surveying his customer from head to foot, and perceiving that his exterior indicated respectable distress. The pass was given, and the recipient was off in a jiffy. Subsequently the agent learned that Beau's father had been dead about eighteen years. Meeting the bereaved youth upon the streets one day he exclaimed: "Ah! good-morning! I believe I gave you a pass once to go and see your father die ?" "Never!" "Dare say you have forgotten it. Did I not give you a pass, and to get that pass did you not tell me that your father was not expected to live?" Exactly." "Your father has been dead these eighteen years." "Right, within a few months." "Yet you said he was not expected to live." "No more he is; at least not till after the millennium." We have a very eccentric character out West, a young man, best known by the nom de plume of "Beau Hackett." He was for a number of years connected with the press of Chicago, but has recently beaten his pen into a plowshare, I learn, and abandoned letters for the more profitable, though The agent saw it. He acknowledged the maize, perhaps less pleasurable, occupation of farming. | and often laughs at the joke, even unto this day. NEW MONTHLY MAGAZINE. No CLXXXIX-FEBRUARY, 1866.-VOL. XXXII. BLACKWELL'S ISLAND LUNATIC ASYLUM. T no very distant date I had the misfor- | the island farthest from the city of New York, which this article treats. It is not necessary than any one of the others. On the eastern for me to describe the form in which my affec- side Ravenswood, with its luxuriant foliage and tion manifested itself. I only mention it here elegant architecture, appears. From the oppoto show that I have had ample means of see-site bank of the river Bellevue Gardens and ing the details of the management of the Asy-several noble mansions with their boat-houses lum. Since my recovery I have as a guest visited the Institution, and thus produced the drawings and narrative which are now commended to the reader's attention. Of their truthfulness I think there will be no question. Feeling no malice, I have certainly set down nothing in that spirit; and there is little which the managers could wish me to extenuate. Blackwell's Island, notwithstanding its beauty, has no very good name. This arises from the fact that the Penitentiary was the first building erected upon it, and the island for a long time was known only as the site of that abode of crime. To none of the other structures it contains, indeed, would one like to be compelled to go-to the Work-house, the Almshouse, the Hospital, or the Insane Asylum; yet to the last two a compulsory visit might well be unattended with disgrace. The Lunatic Asylum stands at that end of The and terraces look down. Then the eye, glancing unrestrained up the stream, sees the historic "Hell-Gate," with the adjacent smiling village of Astoria; farther on, the leafy shores of Ward's Island discover themselves. picturesque ferry-boat landing on the Manhattan side at Eighty-sixth Street, with its surroundings of gayly-painted skiffs and sail-boats, and the Hotel rearing aloft its old rickety walls, form other objects of interest as the attention again reverts toward the city. In summer the river presents a continued scene of animation. Graceful yachts, helped by the swift current, glide by with even more than their wonted speed; the mammoth Sound steamboats plow past with increasing roar and turbulence of waters; and now and then skeleton race-boats, propelled by sturdy arms and active muscles, shoot swiftly along. The Lunatic Asylum comprises three sepa Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1866, by Harper and Brothers, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District of New York. VOL. XXXII.-No. 189.-T rate buildings, known as the "Asylum," the | In the Lodge there are four halls given up to "Lodge," or Mad-house, and the "Retreat." females, while but two are inhabited by males. I have named them in the order in which they There are other buildings which, though unare situated, the Asylum, or original and larg- tenanted by the insane, are rendered necessary est structure, being the one nearest the end of by the size of the Institution. Of these the the island. This, though displaying irregularity most important is the Cook-house, where the in the architectural plan, is one of the most im- food is prepared for use. This consists mainposing edifices under the control of the Commis-ly of soup, boiled by means of steam-pipes in sioners of Public Charities and Corrections. It consists of two wings, forming a right angle with their octagonal centre. Of these, one is inhabited by female, the other by male patients. The octagon is devoted to offices, parlors, and physicians' apartments. Each wing has three stories and an attic, which are divided into bedrooms on either side of a long hall. These halls are inscribed at their entrance, Male or Female Halls, 1, 2, or 3, according to their elevation and the sex of the denizens. The attic contains the sick-room. stationary kettles. From these it is carried in large tin vessels to the different halls of the three main structures. The engine-room occupies more than one-third of the Cook-house, inasmuch as, besides that necessary for cooking, it generates steam on which the warmth of the Asylum depends during winter. The washing of all the patients' clothes is performed in the same building, mainly by machinery. The Institution is supplied with water by submarine pipes connecting with the Croton reservoir. Large tanks in the several edifices keep up the supply when, as is not infrequently, the pipes are injured by anchors or other The Lodge or Mad-house, to which access is never attainable by visitors, is the place of confinement for the most violent cases. All new-wise. comers are, however, generally placed there un- Among the outhouses is a stable, a carpentil they disclose their characters. Then, if suf- ter's shop, a blacksmith's forge, and a paint ficiently mild, they are removed to the Asylum shop. A dead-house also figures near by. Four or the Retreat. The Retreat is a building for- large wooden structures are erecting for the merly, belonging to the Work-house, the insti- benefit of patients sent from other institutions tution adjacent to the Insane Asylum. It is upon the island-the Work-house, Alms-house, now a receptacle for female patients, who usu- ete. When typhus may rage it is probable they ally outnumber the male more than two to one. I will also be used as a fever hospital. ferings they feel in being separated from friends, and for no sin confined in durance vile. It affords them that on which they can build many a pleasant thought, and helps them to relieve their minds of the fancies which oppress them. The Asylum grounds contain some fifteen or twenty acres (the island containing one hundred), and produce all the vegetables, except potatoes and turnips, used by the Institution. Of potatoes and turnips about two hundred bushels each are raised; tomatoes, two hun- Among other noticeable objects pertaining dred bushels; carrots, one hundred; beets, one to the grounds is a pond of considerable size, hundred and fifty; parsnips, one hundred and which, though of rather brackish water, is useforty; other kinds in due proportion. The till-ful in the winter, furnishing ice for the Working of the land, like most of the work about the Asylum, is done by patients under the guidance of a paid official. A considerable portion of the grounds is devoted to yards for the benefit of the insane, and an extensive garden blooms with manycolored flowers. Rarities are not infrequent. An ornamental summer-house adds to the charm of the spectacle, while grand old willows, horsechestnuts, and button-woods, with other trees, make the scene immediately contiguous to the main Asylum exceedingly picturesque by their diversified and luxuriant foliage. The carriage road to the principal entrance runs through a densely-shaded avenue, and a fine vista presents itself at the end of which the blue water gleaming in the sun, dotted here and there with a white sail, delights the eye. The aspect of nature can not be too highly estimated in its effects upon the better class of patients; it is the most prominent alleviation of the suf house and the Asylum, and good skating for the officers and certain patients. Of There are fifty-six officers, attendants, and employés salaried by the Commissioners. these the resident Physician holds the entire executive power. There are usually three assistant physicians and a chaplain attached to the Institution. An engineer and two watchmen are among the officials. The duties of the latter extend during the night as well as day. There are two attendants to each hall in the Asylum and Retreat. The Lodge is presided over by a female superintendent, and each hall has a single keeper. The Matron has the charge of the general housekeeping in all the buildings, and stands highest in rank among the female attachés. A gardener and a cook are noticeable, as well as the attendants in the sick-room. The laundry, wash-house, and kitchen include most of the other employés. The number of patients is usually about 800. More than one-half-perhaps two-thirds-are There are usually between thirty and forty of foreign nativity: Ireland annually furnish-persons with suicidal tendencies confined in the ing 150, and Germany 60. The usual num- Institution. Most of their manifestations are, ber of admissions during a year is 340, while however, made previous to admission. The discharges and deaths amount to a similar greatest care is taken to prevent the success number. Of male patients who are single there of their attempts at self-destruction while inare more than of those who are married, while carcerated, yet one or two annually effect their with females it is the reverse. The female ma- purpose. The nature of the attempts is varijority in respect to age lies with those between ous: jumping from windows and heights, hang30 and 40 years; the male between 20 and 30. ing, starvation, strangulation, cutting throat or The term of residence of those discharged is arm, drinking laudanum or morphine, and beatgenerally from three to six months, though noting the head against the wall are enumerated. a few have spent three years in the Asylum, Considering the disproportion of the sexes and some from six to eighteen. within the Asylum, it may be stated that such are usually discharged unimproved. cases are equally divided between them. The latter The clank of chains and fetters is no longer heard in the Asylum. All means are taken to conceal every prison-like appearance. Iron doors are nowhere seen; entrance to the dif I shall not trouble my readers with medical subdivisions of the forms of insanity; suffice it to say that mania afflicts more than four-fifths of the patients-dementia, or idiocy, and general paralysis being the misfortune of the re-ferent halls is, of course, only obtainable by a mainder. Mania includes the violent and raving madman and those oppressed by a single delusion. From six to twelve improper subjects are annually sent to the Institution. These are mostly persons laboring under a short-lived delirium occasioned by intoxicating drink, though sometimes a criminal, relieved for a time from the penalty of his crime by a plea of insanity, makes his appearance from a court of justice. key; but, though extremely strong, ordinary locks are used; bolts and bars are not visible. The iron gratings of the windows correspond in their openings to the size of the panes of glass before them, so that a casual glance would detect nothing peculiar. The most violent cases are put simply into a cell containing only a mattress and a wooden vessel; and where that is insufficient to prevent harm a strait-jacket of bed-tick closely fastening the arms to the sides is used; but it is rarely worn. The same care now extends to the clothes of the patients; these were formerly of striped cloth resembling that upon convicts in other buildings on the Island. Within a few years they have been exchanged for suits of navy blue, so that patients in whom some degree of sanity exists present a respectable appearance; the females are attired in calico gowns. Appreciation of their apparel is a great inducement to cleanliness and neatness. The majority of the insane are furnished with clothes by the Commissioners, though many are provided by friends and relatives with such neces not allowed to wear their own garments, their destructive natures necessitating stronger and less valuable attire. Most of the inmates of the Lodge are thus clad. Even where the criminal is really a lunatic it is not considered that the Asylum is the proper place for him, there being at Auburn, erected by the State, an asylum for insane convicts, which combines as far as may be the comforts of an asylum with the strength of a prison. In the construction of ordinary asylums attention is given more to the homelike comforts than to the great strength of the establishment. It is the moral power that holds the patients more effectually than strong rooms, and probably there is no asylum in the country, except that at Auburn, from which a sane man could not readily escape. In the Asylum on Blackwell's Island there are no rooms really stron-saries. At times, however, some of these are ger than the usual sleeping-rooms of the hotels in the city, and the only appearance of extra strength is in the cast-iron sashes of the windows, which might be readily broken. They are well adapted, however, to common cases of insanity, but are insecure for the criminal insane with dangerous propensities, and afford to those who feign the disease, in order to escape punishment for their offenses, ready facilities for elopement. One of the unhappiest results of the reception of this class is, that the other insane feel truly degraded by the association, and are fearful that their own lives are endangered. Many of the patients are exceedingly sensitive, and feel deeply any real or fancied injury or injustice. It becomes with them a matter of complaint that murderers even occupy the same halls with them and sit at the same table. Expressions of feeling arouse a spirit of ill-will and antagonism, and serious quarrels and difficulties result. The food, as I have said, consists mostly of soup with spoon meat, the impracticability of allowing the insane the use of knives and forks rendering this essential. The bill of fare is not luxurious, though better than in other institutions upon the Island. Beef soup, really meriting great commendation, is served three times weekly for dinner; mutton and salt beef once. The soup is thickened with Indian meal, and contains a variety of vegetables. Occasionally, in the season, other vegetables, such as radishes, accompany the main dish; but this is seldom. The bread is very good, and of all edibles furnished there is always an abundance. Friday is a black day with those of squeamish stomachs, for mush and molasses is then provided instead of soup. The breakfast |