20, 1712. Offspring; his Name was Wit, and his Seat was compos'd No. 514. of the Works of the most celebrated Authors. I could not Monday October but see with a secret Joy, that though the Greeks and Romans made the Majority, yet our own Countrymen were the next both in Number and Dignity, I was now at Liberty to take a full Prospect of that delightful Region, I was inspir'd with new Vigour and Life, and saw every Thing in nobler and more pleasing View than before; I breath'd a purer Æther in a Sky which was a continu'd Azure, gilded with perpetual Sun-shine. The two Sum mits of the Mountain rose on each Side, and formed in the Midst a most delicious Vale, the Habitation of the Muses, and of such as had composed Works worthy of Immortality. Apollo was seated upon a Throne of Gold, and for a Canopy an aged Lawrel spread its Boughs and its Shade over his Head, His Bow and Quiver lay at his Feet. He held his Harp in his Hand, whilst the Muses round about him celebrated with Hymns his Victory over the Serpent Python, and sometimes sung in softer Notes the Loves of Leucothoe and Daphnis. Homer, Virgil, and Milton were seated the next to them. Behind were a great Number of others, among whom I was surprized to see some in the Habit of Laplanders, who, notwithstanding the Uncouthness of their Dress, had lately obtained a Place upon the Mountain. I saw Pindar walking all alone, no one daring to accost him till Cowley joyn'd himself to him; but, growing weary of one who almost walk'd him out of Breath, he left him for Horace and Anacreon, with whom he seem'd infinitely delighted. A little further I saw another Groupe of Figures; I made up to them, and found it was Socrates dictating to Xenophon and the Spirit of Plato; but most of all Musaus had the greatest Audience about him, I was at too great a Distance to hear what he said, or to discover the Faces of his Hearers, only I Thought I now perceived Virgil, who had joined them, and stood in a Posture full of Admiration at the Harmony of his Words, Lastly, At the very Brink of the Hill I saw Boccalini sending Dispatches to the World below of what happen'd upon Parnassus; but I perceived he did it without Leave of the Muses, and by Stealth, and was unwilling to No. 514, October 20, 1712, have them revised by Apollo, I could now from this Monday, Height and serene Sky behold the infinite Cares and Anxieties with which Mortals below sought out their Way through the Maze of Life. I saw the Path of Virtue lie straight before them, whilst Interest, or some malicious Demon, still hurry'd them out of the Way, I was at once touch'd with Pleasure at my own Happiness, and Com passion at the Sight of their inextricable Errors. Here the two contending Passions rose so high, that they were inconsistent with the sweet Repose I enjoy'd, and awak ing with a sudden Start, the only Consolation I could admit of for my Loss, was the Hopes that this Relation of my Dream will not displease you.' No. 515, Tuesday, October 21 Pudet me & miseret qui harum mores cantabat mihi 'Mr. SPECTATOR, T AM obliged to you for printing the Account I lately sent you of a Coquet who disturbed a sober Congre gation in the City of London. That Intelligence ended at her taking Coach, and bidding the Driver go where he knew. I could not leave her so, but dogged her, as hard as she drove, to Paul's Churchyard, where there was a Stop of Coaches attending Company coming out of the Cathedral. This gave me Opportunity to hold up a Crown to her Coachman, who gave me the Signal, and that he would hurry on, and make no Haste, as you know the Way is when they favour a Chace. By his many kind Blunders, driving against other Coaches, and slipping off some of his Tackle, I could keep up with him, and lodged my fine Lady in the Parish of St. James's. As I guessed when I first saw her at Church, her Business is to win Hearts and throw 'em away, regarding Nothing but the Triumph. I have had the Happiness, by tracing her through all with whom I heard she was acquainted, to find one who was intimate with a Friend of mine, and to be introduced to her Notice. I have made so good Use of my Time, as to procure from that Intimate of hers one of October 21, 1712. of her Letters, which she writ to her when in the Country, No. 515, This Epistle of her own may serve to alarm the World Tuesday, against her in ordinary Life, as mine, I hope, did those who shall behold her at Church. The Letter was written last Winter to the Lady who gave it me; and I doubt not but you will find it the Soul of an happy self-loving Dame, that takes all the Admiration she can meet with, and returns none of it in Love to her Admirers. "Dear Jenny, I am glad to find you are likely to be disposed of in Marriage so much to your Approbation as you tell me. You say you are afraid only of me, for I shall laugh at your Spouse's Airs. I beg of you not to fear it, for I am too nice a Discerner to laugh at any, but whom most other People think fine Fellows; so that your Dear may bring you hither as soon as his Horses are in Case enough to appear in Town, and you be very safe against any Raillery you may apprehend from me; for I am surrounded with Coxcombs of my own making, who are all ridiculous in a manner: Your Good-man, I presume, can't exert himself. As Men who cannot raise their Fortunes, and are uneasy under the Incapacity of shining in Courts, rail at Ambition, so do aukward and insipid Women, who cannot warm the Hearts and charm the Eyes of Men, rail at Affection: But she that has the Joy of seeing a Man's Heart leap into his Eyes at beholding her, is in no Pain for Want of Esteem among a Crew of that Part of her own Sex who have no Spirit but that of Envy, and no Language but that of Malice. I do not in this, I hope, express my self insensible of the Merit of Leodacía, who lowers her Beauty to all but her Husband, and never spreads her Charms but to gladden him who has a Right in them, I say, I do Honour to those who can be Coquets, and are not such; but I despise all who would be so, and in Despair of arriving at it them selves, hate and vilify all those who can. But, be that as it will, in Answer to your Desire of knowing my History One of my chief present Pleasures is in Country-Dances; and, in Obedience to me, as well as the Pleasure of coming up to me with a good Grace, shewing October 21, 1712. No. 515. shewing themselves in their Address to others in my Tuesday, Presence, and the like Opportunities, they are all Proficients that Way: And I had the Happiness of being the other Night where we made six Couple, and every Woman's Partner a profess'd Lover of mine. The wildest Imagination cannot form to it self, on any Occasion, higher Delight than I acknowledge my self to have been in all that Evening, I chose out of my Admirers a Set of Men who most love me, and gave them Partners of such of my own Sex who most envy'd me, My Way is, when any Man who is my Admirer pretends to give himself Airs of Merit, as at this Time a certain Gentleman you know did, to mortify him by favouring in his Presence the most insignificant Creature I can find. At this Ball I was led into the Company by pretty Mr. Fanfly, who, you know, is the most obsequious well-shap'd well-bred Woman's Man in Town. I at first Entrance declared him my Partner if I danced at all; which put the whole Assembly into a Grin, as forming no Terrours from such a Rival. But we had not been long in the Room, before I over-heard the meritorious Gentle man above-mentioned, say with an Oath, There is no Raillery in the Thing, she certainly loves the Puppy, My Gentleman, when we were dancing, took an Occasion to be very soft in his Oglings upon a Lady he danced with, and whom he knew of all Women I love most to outshine. The Contest began who should plague the other most, I, who do not care a Farthing for him, had no hard Task to out-vex him. I made Fanfly, with a very little Encouragement, cut Capers Coupee, and then sink with all the Air and Tenderness imaginable. When he performed this, I observed the Gentleman you know of fall into the same Way, and imitate as well as he could the despised Fanfly. I cannot well give you, who are so grave a Country Lady, the Idea of the Joy we have when we see a stubborn Heart breaking, or a Man of Sense turning Fool for our Sakes; but this happened to our Friend, and I expect his Attendance whenever I go to Church, to Court, to the Play, or the Park. This is a Sacrifice due to us Women of Genius, who have the Eloquence of Beauty, an easy Mein. I mean by an easy Mein, one which can be October 21, 1712, be on Occasion easily affected: For I must tell you, dear No. 515, Jenny, I hold one Maxim, which is an uncommon one, Tuesday, to wit, That our greatest Charms are owing to Affectation. 'Tis to That that our Arms can lodge so quietly just over our Hips, and the Fan can play without any Force or Motion but just of the Wrist. 'Tis to Affectation we owe the pensive Attention of Deidamía at a Tragedy, the scornful Approbation of Dulcimara at a Comedy, and the lowly Aspect of Lanquícelsa at a Sermon, To tell you the plain Truth, I know no Pleasure but in being admired, and have yet never failed of attaining the Approbation of the Man whose Regard I had a Mind to. You see all the Men who make a Figure in the World (as wise a Look as they are pleased to put upon the Matter) are moved by the same Vanity as I am. What is there in Ambition, but to make other People's Wills depend upon yours? This indeed is not to be aim'd at by one who has a Genius no higher than to think of being a very good Housewife in a Country Gentleman's Family, The Care of Poultrey and Piggs are great Enemies to the Countenance: The vacant Look of a fine Lady is not to be preserved, if she admits any Thing to take up her Thoughts but her own dear Person. But I interrupt you too long from your Cares, and my self from my Conquests. I am, Your most humble Servant." Give me Leave, Mr. SPECTATOR, to add her Friend's answer to this Epistle, who is a very discreet ingenious Woman. "Dear Gatty, I take your Raillery in very good Part, and am obliged to you for the free Air with which you speak of your own Gayeties. But this is but a barren superficial Pleasure; indeed, Gatty, we are made for Man, and in serious Sadness I must tell you, whether you your self know it or no, all these Gallantries tend to no other End but to be a Wife and Mother as fast as you can, T I am, Your most humble Servant."' |