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for the future submit our selves to the learning of No. 478. Etymology, which might perswade the Age to come,
Monday, that the Farthingal was worn for Cheapness, or the Sept. 8, Furbeloe for Warmth.
Fourthly, Whereas they who are old themselves, have often a way of railing at the Extravagance of Youth, and the whole Age in which their Children live; it is hoped that this ill Humour will be much suppress'd, when we can have recourse to the Fashions of their Times, produce them in our Vindication, and be able to shew that it might have been as expensive in Queen Elizabeth's Time only to wash and quill a Ruff, as it is now to buy Cravats or Neck-Handkerchiefs,
We desire also to have it taken Notice of, That ber cause we would shew a particular Respect to Foreigners, which may induce them to perfect their Breeding here in a Knowledge which is very proper for pretty Gentlemen, we have conceived the Motto for the House in the learned Language. There is to be a Picture over the Door, with a Looking-Glass and a DressingChair in the Middle of it: Then on one Side are to be seen, above one another, Patch-Boxes, Pio-Cushions, and little Bottles; on the other, Powder-Bags, Puffs, Combs, and Brushes beyond these, Swords with fine Knots, whose Points are hidden, and Fans almost closed, with the Handles downward, are to stand out interchangeably from the Sides, till they meet at the Top, and form a Semicircle over the rest of the Figures: Beneath all, the Writting is to run in this pretty sounding Manner :
Adeste, o quotquot sunt, Veneres, Gratiae, Cupidines,
Faces, vincula, spicula,
Your most humble Servant,
The Proposal of my Correspondent I cannot but look
No. 478. upon as an ingenious Method of placing Persons (whose
frivolous Things) in a Rank by themselves. In order
, to send a List, is desired to do it within fourteen Days after this Date,
N. B. The Place of the Physician to this Society, according to the last mentioned Qualification, is already engaged.
No. 479. [STEELE.]
Tuesday, September 9. Tuesday,
Sept. 9, -Dare jura maritis.-Hor.
1712. ANY are the Epistles I every Day receive from
Husbands, who complain of Vanity, Pride, but above all Ill-nature, in their Wives. I cannot tell how it is, but I think I see in all their Letters that the Cause of their Uneasiness is in themselves ; and indeed I have hardly ever observed the married Condition unhappy, but from Want of Judgment or Temper in the Man, The Truth is, we generally make Love in a Stile, and with Sentiments very unfit for ordinary Life. They are half Theatrical, half Romantick. By this Means we raise our Imaginations to what is not to be expected in humane Life, and because we did not beforehand think of the Creature we cre enamoured of as subject to Dishumour, Age, Sickness, Impatience, or Sullenness, but altogether considered her as the Object of Joy, humane Nature it self is often imputed to her as her particular Imperfection or Defect
I take it to be a Rule proper to be observed in all Occurrences of Life, but more especially in the domestick or matrimonial Part of it, to preserve always a Disposition to be pleased. This cannot be supported but by considering Things in their right Light, and as Nature has formed them, and not as our own Fancies or Appetites would have them. He then who took a young Lady to his Bed, with no other consideration than the Expectation of Scenes of Dalliance, and thought of her (as I said before) only as she was to administer to the Gratification of Desire'; as that Desire flags, will, without her Fault, think her Charms and her Merit abated: From hence must follow Indifference, Dislike, Peevishness, and Rage. But the Man who brings his Reason to support his Passion, and beholds what he loves as liable to all the Calamities of humane Life both in Body and Mind, and even at the best, what must bring upon him new Cares and new Relar tions such a Lover, I say, will form himself accordingly, and adapt his Mind to the Nature of his Circumstances. This latter Person will be prepared to be a Father, a
No. 479. Friend, an Advocate, a Steward for People yet unborn, Tuesday, and has proper Affections ready for every Incident in the Sept, 9,
Marriage-State. Such a Man can hear the Cries of 1712.
Children with Pity instead of Anger; and when they run over his Head, he is not disturbed at their Noise, but is glad of their Mirth and Health Tom Trusty has told me, that he thinks it doubles his Attention to the most intricate Affair he is about, to hear his Children, for whom all his Cares are applied, make a Noise in the next Room: On the other Side, Will Sparkish cannot put on his Perriwig, or adjust his Cravat at the Glass, for the Noise of those damnd Nurses and squalling Brats ; and then ends with a gallant Reflection upon the Comforts of Matrimony, runs out of the Hearing, and drives to the Chocolate House.
According as the Husband is disposed in himself, every Circumstance of his Life is to give him Torment or Pleasure. When the Affection is well placed, and supported by the Considerations of Duty, Honour, and Friendship, which are in the highest Degree engaged in this Alliance, there can nothing rise in the common Course of Life, or from the Blows or Favours of Fortune, in which a Man will not find Matters of some Delight unknown to a single Condition.
He that sincerely loves his Wife and Family, and studies to improve that Affection in himself, conceives Pleasure from the most indifferent Things; while the married Man, who has not bid Adieu to the Fashions and false Gallantries of the Town, is perplexed with every Thing around him. In both these Cases Man cannot, indeed, make a sillier Figure, than in repeating such Pleasures and Pains to the Rest of the World; but I speak of them only, as they sit upon those who are involved in them. As I visit all sorts of People, I cannot indeed but smile, when the good Lady tells her Husband what extra ordinary Things the Child spoke since he went out. No longer than Yesterday I was prevailed with to go home with a fond Husband and his Wife told him, that his Son, of his own Head, when the clock in the Parlour struck Two, said, Pappa would come to Dinner presently. While the Father has him in a Rapture in
his Arms, and is drowning him with Kisses, the Wife No. 479. tells me he is but just Four Years old. Then they both Tuesday, struggle for him, and bring him up to me, and repeat his Sept. 9,
1712. Observation of Two a Clock. I was called upon, by Looks upon the Child, and then at me, to say something, and I told the Father, that this Remark of the Infant of his coming home, and joining the Time with it, was a certain Indication that he would be a great Historian and Chronologer. They are neither of them Fools, yet received my Complement with great Acknowledgement of my Prescience. I fared very well at Dinner, and heard many other notable Sayings of their Heir, which would have given very little Entertainment to one less turn'd to reflection than I was; but it was a pleasing Speculation to remark on the Happiness of a Life, in which Things of no Moment give Occasion of Hope, Self-Satisfaction, and Triumph. On the other Hand, I have known an illnatured Coxcomb, who was hardly improved in any Thing but_Bulk, for Want of this Disposition, Silence the whole family, as a Set of silly Women and Children, for recounting Things which were really above his own Capacity
When I say all this, I cannot deny but there are perverse Jades that fall to Men's Lots, with whom it requires more than common Proficiency in Philosophy to be able to live. When these are joined to Men of warm Spirits, without Temper or Learning, they are frequently cor rected with Stripes, but one of our famous Lawyers is of opinion, That this ought to be used sparingly. As I remember those are his very Words ; but as it is proper to draw some spiritual Use out of all Afflictions, I should rather recommend to those who are visited with Women of Spirit, to form themselves for the World by Patience at Home. Socrates, who is by all Accounts the undoubted Head of the Sect of the Hen-peck'd, own'd and acknowledged that he own'd great Part of his Virtue to the Exercise which his useful Wife constantly gave it There are several good Instructions may be drawn from his wise Answers to People of less Fortitude than himself on her Subject. A Friend, with Indignation, asked how so good a Man could live with so violent a Creature? He