1711, who tells me one of her Acquaintance, out of meer No. 259, Pride and a Pretence to be rude, takes upon her to Thursday, return no Civilities done to her in Time of divine Dec. 27, Service, and is the most religious Woman for no other Reason, but to appear a Woman of the best Quality in the Church. This absurd Custom had better be abolished than retained, if it were but to prevent Evils of no higher a Nature than this is, but I am informed of Objections much more considerable: A Dissenter of Rank and Distinction was lately prevailed upon by a Friend of his to come to one of the greatest Congre gations of the Church of England about Town: After the Service was over, he declared he was very well satisfied with the little Ceremony which was used towards God Almighty; but at the same Time he feared he should not be able to go through those required towards one another: As to this Point he was in a State of Despair, and feared he was not well-bred enough to be a Convert There have been many Scandals of this Kind given to our Protestant Dissenters, from the outward Pomp and Respect we take to ourselves in our religious Assemblies, A Quaker who came one Day into a Church, fixed his Eye upon an old Lady with a Carpet larger than that from the Pulpit before her, expecting when she would hold forth, An Anabaptist who designs to come over himself, and all his Family, within few Months, is sensible they want Breeding enough for our Congregations, and has sent his two elder Daughters to learn to dance, that they may not misbehave themselves at Church: It is worth considering whether, in regard to aukward People with scrupulous Consciences, a good Christian of the best Air in the World ought not rather to deny herself the Opportunity of shewing so many Graces, than keep a bashful Proselyte without the Pale of the Church. T Friday C IV. No. 260, [STEELE,] I Friday, December 28, Singula de nobis anní praedantur euntes,Hor. 'Mr. SPECTATOR, AM now in the sixty fifth Year of my Age, and having been the greater Part of my Days a Man of Pleasure, the Decay of my Faculties is a Stagnation of my Life. But how is it, Sir, that my Appetites are encreased upon me with the Loss of Power to gratify them? I write this, like a Criminal, to warn People to enter upon what Reformation they please to make in themselves in their Youth, and not expect they shall be capable of it from a fond Opinion some have often in their Mouths, that if we do not leave our Desires they will leave us. It is far otherwise: I am now as vain in my Dress, and as flippant if I see a pretty Woman, as when in my Youth I stood upon a Bench in the Pit to Survey the whole Circle of Beauties. The Folly is so extravagant with me, and I went on with so little Check of my Desires, or Resignation of them, that I can assure you I very often, meerly to entertain my own Thoughts, sit with my Spectacles on writing Love Letters to the Beauties that have been long since in their Graves. This is to warm my Heart with the feint Memory of Delights which were once agreeable to me; but how much happier would my Life have been now, if I could have looked back on any worthy Action done for my Country? If I had laid out that which I profused in Luxury and Wantonness, in Acts of Generosity or Charity? I have lived a Bachelour to this Day; and instead of a numerous Offspring, with which, in the regular Ways of Life, I might possibly have delighted my self, I have only to amuse my self with the Repetition of old Stories and Intrigues which no one will believe I ever was concerned in. I do not know whether you have ever treated of it or not; but you cannot fall on a better Subject, than that of the Art of growing old. In such a Lecture you must propose, that no one set his Heart upon what is transient; the Beauty grows wrinkled while we are yet gazing at her. The 1711. witty Man sinks into a Humorist imperceptibly, for No. 260. want of reflecting that all Things around him are in Friday, a Flux, and continually changing: Thus he is in the Dec. 28, Space of Ten or Fifteen Years surrounded by a new Set of People, whose Manners are as natural to them as his Delights, Method of Thinking, and Mode of Living, were formerly to him and his Friends. But the Mischief is, he looks upon the same Kind of Errors which he himself was guilty of with an Eye of Scorn, and with that Sort of ill-will which Men entertain against each other for different Opinions: Thus a crazy Constitution, and an uneasy Mind, is fretted with vexatious Passions for young Men's doing foolishly what it is Folly to do at all. Dear Sir, this is my present State of Mind; I hate those I should laugh at, and envy those I contemn, The Time of Youth and vigorous Manhood, passed the Way in which I have disposed of it, is attended with these Consequences; but to those who live and pass away Life as they ought, all Parts of it are equally pleasant; only the Memory of good and worthy Actions is a Feast which must give a quicker Relish to the Soul, than ever it could possibly taste in the highest Enjoy ments or Jollities of Youth. As for me, if I sit down in my great Chair and begin to ponder, the Vagaries of a Child are not more ridiculous than the Circum stances which are heaped up in my Memory; fine Gowns, Country Dances, Ends of Tunes, interrupted Conversations, and mid-night Quarrels, are what must necessarily compose my Soliloquy, I beg of you to print this, that some Ladies of my Acquaintance, and my Years, may be perswaded to wear warm Night-caps this cold Season; and that my old Friend Jack Tawdery may buy him a Cane, and not creep with the Air of a Strut, I must add to all this, that if it were not for one Pleasure, which I thought a very mean one till of very late Years, I should have no one great Satisfaction left; but if I live to the 10th of March 1714, and all my Securities are good, I shall be worth fifty thousand Pound. I am, Sir, Your most humble Servant, Jack Afterday! Mr. No. 260. 1711, 'Mr. SPECTATOR, You will infinitely oblige a distressed Lover, if you will insert in your very next Paper the following Letter to my Mistress. You must know I am not a Person apt to despair, but she has got an odd Humour of stopping short unaccountably, and, as she herself told a Confident of hers, she has cold Fits. These Fits shall last her a Month or six Weeks together; and as she falls into them without Provocation, so it is to be hoped she will return from them without the Merit of new Services, But Life and Love will not admit of such Intervals, therefore pray let her be admonished as follows, "Madam, I Love you, and I honour you; therefore pray do not tell me of waiting till Decencies, till Forms, till Humours are consulted and gratified. If you have that happy Constitution as to be indolent for ten Weeks together, you should consider that all that While I burn in Impatiences and Fevers; but still you say it will be Time enough, tho' I and you too grow older while we are yet talking. Which do you think the more reasonable, that you should alter a State of Indifference for Happiness, and that to oblige me, or I live in Torment, and that to lay no Manner of Obligation upon you? While I indulge your Insensibility I am doing nothing; if you favour my Passion, you are bestowing bright Desires, gay Hopes, generous Cares, noble Resolu tions and transporting Raptures upon, Madam, Your most devoted humble Servant."' 'Mr. SPECTATOR, Here's a Gentlewoman lodges in the same House with me, that I never did any Injury to in my whole Life; and she is always railing at me to those that she knows will tell me of it. Don't you think she is in Love with me? or would you have me break my No. 260. Mind yet or not? 'Mr. SPECTATOR, Your Servant, Friday, T. B.' I am a Footman in a great Family, and am in Love with the House-maid. We were all at Hot-cockles last Night in the Hall these Holidays; when I lay down and was blinded, she pull'd off her Shoe, and hit me with the Heel such a Rap, as almost broke my Head to Pieces, Pray Sir, was this Love or Spite?' No, 261, Saturday, December 29, Γάμος γὰρ ἀνθρώποισιν εὐκταῖον κακόν.—Frag, vet, Po MY Y Father, whom I mentioned in my first Specula tion, and whom I must always Name with Honour and Gratitude, has very frequently talked to me upon the Subject of Marriage, I was in my younger Years engaged, partly by his Advice, and partly by my own Inclinations, in the Courtship of a Person who had a great Deal of Beauty, and did not at my first Approaches seem to have any Aversion to me; but as my natural Taciturnity hindered me from shewing my self to the best Advantage, she by Degrees began to look upon me as a very silly Fellow, and being resolved to regard Merit more than any Thing else in the Persons who made their Applications to her, she married a Captain of Dragoons who happened to be beating up for Recruits in those Parts, This unlucky Accident has given me an Aversion to pretty Fellows ever since, and discouraged me from trying my Fortune with the fair Sex. The Observations which I made in this Conjuncture, and the repeated Advices which I received at that Time from the good old Man above-mentioned, have produced the following Essay upon Love and Marriage, The pleasantest Part of a Man's Life is generally that which passes in Courtship, provided his Passion be sincere, and the Party beloved kind with Discretion, |