Luc. Were it not that my fellow schoolmaster Tra. That by degrees we mean to look into, Signior Gremio, came you from the church? Gre. As willingly as e'er I came from school. Tra. And is the bride, and bridegroom, coming home? Gre. A bridegroom say you? 'tis a groom indeed; A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find. Tra. Curster than she? why, 'tis impossible. Gre. Why, he's a devil, a devil, a very fiend. Tra. Why, she's a devil, a devil, the devil's dam. Gre. Tut! she's a lamb, a dove, a fool to him. I'll tell you, sir, Lucentio: when the priest Should ask,-if Katharine should be his wife, As if the vicar meant to cozen him. But after many ceremonies done, He calls for wine :-"A health!" quoth he; as if But that his beard grew thin and hungerly, [Music. Pet. Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for pains. I know, you think to dine with me to-day, Bap. Is't possible you will away to-night? Pet. I must away to-day, before night come. Make it no wonder: if you knew my business, You would entreat me rather go than stay. And, honest company, I thank you all, your Kath. Nay, then, Do what thou canst, I will not go to-day; Pet. O, Kate! content thee: pr'ythee, be not angry. Kath. I will be angry. What hast thou to do?Father, be quiet; he shall stay my leisure. Gre. Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work. I see, a woman may be made a fool, If she had not a spirit to resist. Pet. They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.— She is my goods, my chattels; she is my house, Draw forth thy weapon; we're beset with thieves: Fear not, sweet wench; they shall not touch thee, Kate: [Exeunt PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, and GRUMIO. Bap. Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones. Gre. Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing. Tra. Of all mad matches never was the like. For to supply the places at the table, Tra. Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it? go. ACT IV. SCENE I.-A Hall in PETRUCHIO's Country House. Enter GRUMIO. Gru. Fie, fie, on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was ever man so rayed? was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now, were not I a little pot, and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me; but, I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself, for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold. Holla, hoa! Curtis ! Enter CURTIS. Curt. Who is that, calls so coldly? Gru. A piece of ice: if thou doubt it, thou may'st slide from my shoulder to my heel, with no greater a run but my head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis. Curt. Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio? Gru. O ay, Curtis, ay; and therefore fire, fire: cast on no water. Curt. Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported? Gru. She was, good Curtis, before this frost; but, thou know'st, winter tames man, woman, and beast, for it hath tamed my old master, and my new mistress, and thyself, fellow Curtis. Curt. Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast. Gru. Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot; and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand (she being now at hand) thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office? Curt. I pr'ythee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world? Gru. A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and, therefore, fire. Do thy duty, and have thy duty, for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death. Curt. There's fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news? Gru. Why, "Jack, boy! ho boy!" and as much news as thou wilt. Curt. Come, you are so full of cony catching.— Gru. Why, therefore, fire: for I have caught extreme cold. Where's the cook? is supper ready, the house trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept; the servingmen in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on? Be the Jacks fair within, the Jills fair without, the carpets laid, and every thing in order? Curt. All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news? Gru. First, know, my horse is tired; my master and mistress fallen out. Curt. How? Gru. What's that to thee? Curt. Why, a horse. Gru. Tell thou the tale:-but had'st thou not crossed me, thou should'st have heard how her horse fell, and she under her horse; thou should'st have heard, in how miry a place; how she was bemoiled; how he left her with the horse upon her; how he beat me because her horse stumbled; how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me; how he swore; how she prayed, that never prayed before; how I cried; how the horses ran away; how her bridle was burst; how I lost my crupper;-with many things of worthy memory, which now shall die in oblivion, and thou return unexperienced to thy grave. Curt. By this reckoning he is more shrew than she. Gru. Ay; and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find, when he comes home. But what talk I of this?-Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest: let their heads be sleekly combed, their blue coats brushed, and their garters of an indifferent knit: let them curtsey with their left legs, and not presume to touch a hair of my master's horse-tail, till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready? Curt. They are. Gru. Call them forth. Curt. Do you hear? ho! you must meet my master, to countenance my mistress. Gru. Why, she hath a face of her own. Gru. Thou, it seems, that callest for company to countenance her. Curt. I call them forth to credit her. Nich. Fellow Grumio! Gru. Welcome, you;-how now, you;-what, you; ; —fellow, you;—and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce companions, is all ready, and all things neat? Nath. All things is ready. How near is our master? Gru. E'en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be not,-Cock's passion, silence!—I hear my master. [All servants frightened. Enter PETRUCHIO and KATHARINA. Pet. Where be these knaves? What! no man at the door, To hold my stirrup, nor to take my horse. Gru. Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby You logger-headed and unpolish'd grooms! hangs a tale. Curt. Let's ha't, good Grumio. Gru. Lend thine ear. What, no attendance? no regard? no duty?— Gru. Here, sir; as foolish as I was before. Did I not bid thee meet me in the park, Gru. Nathaniel's coat, sir, was not fully made, And Gabriel's pumps were all unpink'd i' the heel; There was no link to colour Peter's hat, And Walter's dagger was not come from sheathing: [Sings. Why, when, I say?-Nay, good sweet Kate, be merry. [Kicks him. [Exit Servant. One, Kate, that you must kiss, and be acquainted with.— Where are my slippers?-Shall I have some water? [A bason is presented to him. Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.— You whoreson villain! will you let it fall? [Strikes him. Kath. Patience, I pray you; 'twas a fault unwilling. Pet. A whoreson, beetleheaded, flap-ear'd knave! [Meat served in. Come, Kate, sit down; I know you have a stomach. Will you give thanks, sweet Kate, or else shall I ?— What's this? mutton? Pet. 'Tis burnt; and so is all the meat. [Throws the meat, &c. all about. [Exeunt PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, and CURTIS. Nath. Peter, didst ever see the like? Peter. He kills her in her own humour. Re-enter CURTIS. Gru. Where is he? Curt. In her chamber, Making a sermon of continency to her; And rails, and swears, and rates, that she, poor soul, Pet. Thus have I politicly begun my reign, For then she never looks upon her lure. And here I'll fling the pillow, there the bolster, Tra. Is't possible, friend Licio, that mistress Bianca Doth fancy any other but Lucentio? I tell you, sir, she bears me fair in hand. Enter BIANCA and LUCENTIO. You that durst swear that your mistress Bianca Hor. Mistake no more: I am not Licio, Tra. Signior Hortensio, I have often heard And since mine eyes are witness of her lightness, Hor. See, how they kiss and court!-Signior Lucentio, Here is my hand, and here I firmly vow As one unworthy all the former favours That I have fondly flatter'd her withal. Tra. And here I take the like unfeigned oath, Never to marry her, though she entreat. Fie on her! see, how beastly she doth court him. Hor. Would all the world, but he, had quite forsworn her! For me, that I may surely keep mine oath, I will be married to a wealthy widow, Kindness in women! not their beauteous looks, Shall win my love :-and so I take my leave, [Exit HORTENSIO.-LUCENTIO and BIANCA advance. Bian. Tranio, you jest. But have you both forsworn Tra. Mistress, we have. Bion. [Aside.] As much as an apple doth an oyster, and all one. Tra. To save your life in this extremity, His name and credit shall you undertake, Then we are rid of Licio. Till you have done your business in the city. Tra. I'faith, he'll have a lusty widow now, Tra. Ay, and he'll tame her. He says so, Tranio. Tra. Ay, mistress, and Petruchio is the master; Bion. O master, master! I have watch'd so long Tra. What is he, Biondello? Tra. If he be credulous, and trust my tale, If this be courtesy, sir, accept of it. Gru. No, no, forsooth; I dare not, for my life. Am starv'd for meat, giddy for lack of sleep; As who should say, if I should sleep, or eat, [Exeunt LUCENTIO and BIANCA. "Twere deadly sickness, or else present death. Ped. God save you, sir! Of Mantua. Ped. My life, sir! how, I pray? for that goes hard. Ped. Alas, sir! it is worse for me than so; Tra. Among them, know you one Vincentio? A merchant of incomparable wealth. Tra. He is my father, sir; and, sooth to say, In countenance somewhat doth resemble you. I pr'ythee go, and get me some repast; Kath. 'Tis passing good: I pr'ythee let me have it. How say you to a fat tripe, finely broil'd? Or else you get no beef of Grumio. Kath. Then both, or one, or any thing thou wilt. That feed'st me with the very name of meat. Go; get thee gone, I say. Enter PETRUCHIO with a dish of meat, and HORTENSIO. Kath. 'Faith, as cold as can be. Pet. Pluck up thy spirits; look cheerfully upon me. Here, love; thou seest how diligent I am, To dress thy meat myself, and bring it thee: [Sets the dish on a table. I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks. [To her.] Much good do it unto thy gentle heart! With silken coats, and caps, and golden rings, Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments; Enter Haberdasher. Lay forth the gown.-What news with you, sir? A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby's cap; Kath. I'll have no bigger: this doth fit the time, Hor. [Aside.] That will not be in haste. Kath. Why, sir, I trust, I may have leave to speak, And speak I will; I am no child, no babe: Your betters have endur'd me say my mind, And, if you cannot, best you stop your ears. My tongue will tell the anger of my heart, Or else my heart, concealing it, will break: And, rather than it shall, I will be free, Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words. Pet. Why, thou say'st true: it is a paltry cap, A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie. I love thee well, in that thou lik'st it not. Kath. Love me, or love me not, I like the cap, And it I will have, or I will have none. Pet. Thy gown? why, ay:-come, tailor, let us see't. O, mercy, God! what masking stuff is here? What's this? a sleeve? 'tis like a demi-cannon: What! up and down, carv'd like an apple-tart? Here's snip, and nip, and cut, and slish, and slash, Like to a censer in a barber's shop.— Why, what, o'devil's name, tailor, call'st thou this? Hor. [Aside.] I see, she's like to have neither cap nor gown. Tai. You bid me make it orderly and well, According to the fashion, and the time. Pet. Marry, and did; but if you be remember'd, I did not bid you mar it to the time. Go, hop me over every kennel home, For you shall hop without my custom, sir. I'll none of it: hence! make your best of it. Pet. Why, true; he means to make a puppet of thee. Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail! Grumio gave order how it should be done. Gru. I gave him no order; I gave him the stuff. Gru. Face not me: thou hast braved many men ; brave not me: I will neither be faced nor braved. I say unto thee,-I bid thy master cut out the gown; but I did not bid him cut it to pieces: ergo, thou liest. Tai. Why, here is the note of the fashion to testify. Pet. Read it. I said so. say Gru. The note lies in's throat, if he Tai. "Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown.' Gru. Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me in the skirts of it, and beat me to death with a bottom of brown thread: I said, a gown. Pet. Proceed. Tai. "With a small compassed cape." Tai. "With a trunk sleeve." Gru. Error i'the bill, sir; error i'the bill. I commanded the sleeves should be cut out, and sewed up again; and that I'll prove upon thee, though thy little finger be armed in a thimble. Tai. This is true, that I say: an I had thee in place where, thou should'st know it. Gru. I am for thee straight: take thou the bill, give me thy mete-yard, and spare not me. Hor. God-a-mercy, Grumio; then he shall have no odds. Pet. Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me. Gru. You are i'the right, sir: 'tis for my mistress. Pet. Go, take it up unto thy master's use. Gru. Villain, not for thy life! Take up my mistress' gown for thy master's use? Pet. Why, sir, what's your conceit in that? Gru. O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for. Take up my mistress' gown to his master's use? O, fie, fie, fie! Pet. [Aside.] Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid. Go take it hence; be gone, and say no more. Hor. Tailor, I'll pay thee for thy gown to-morrow: Take no unkindness of his hasty words. Away, I say; commend me to thy master. [Exeunt Tailor and Haberdasher. Pet. Well, come, my Kate; we will unto your father's, Even in these honest mean habiliments. |