sum, I determined to quit a business which had always gone rather against my conscience, and in a more liberal way still to indulge my talents for fiction and embellishment, through my favorite channels of diurnal communication; and so, sir, you have my history.

Sneer. Most obligingly communicative, indeed; and your confession, if published, might certainly serve the cause of true charity, by rescuing the most useful channels of appeal to benevolence from the cant of imposition. But surely, Mr. Puff, there is no great mystery in your present profession?

Puff. Mystery! Sir, I will take upon me to say the matter was never scientifically treated, nor reduced to rule before.

Sneer. Reduced to rule?

Puff. O yes, sir! You are very ignorant, I am afraid. Yes, sir, puffing is of various sorts. The principal are: the puff direct, the puff preliminary, the puff collateral, the puff collusive, and the puff oblique, or by implication. These all assume, as circumstances require, the various forms of letter to the editor, occasional anecdote, impartial critique, observation from correspondent, or advertisement for the party.

Sneer. The puff direct I can conceive.

Puff. O yes, that's simple enough. For instance, a new comedy or farce is to be produced at one of the theaters. The day before it is to be performed, I write an account of the manner in which it was received. I have the plot from the author, and only add: Characters strongly drawn-highly colored-hand of a master-fund of genuine humor-mine of invention-neat dialogue-attic salt! Then, for the performance: Mr. Dodd was astonishingly great in the character of Sir Harry! That universal and judicious actor, Mr. Palmer, perhaps never appeared to more advantage than in the Colonel; but it is not in the power of language to do justice to Mr. King! Indeed, he more than merited those repeated bursts of applause which he drew from a most brilliant and judicious audience! As to the scenery: the miraculous powers of Mr. Low's pencil

NEW EC. S.-28

are universally acknowledged! In short, we are at a loss which to admire most, the unrivaled genius of the author, the great attention and liberality of the managers, the wonderful abilities of the painter, or the incredible exertions of all the performers!

Sneer. That's pretty well, indeed, sir.

Puff. O! cool, quite cool, to what I sometimes do. Sneer. And do you think there are any who are influenced by this?

Puff. O yes, sir. The number of those, who undergo the fatigue of judging for themselves, is very small indeed.

Sneer. Well, sir, the puff preliminary?

Puff. O! that, sir, does well in the form of caution. Dang. Why, Sneer, you will be quite an adept in the business.

Puff. Now, sir, the puff collateral is much used as an appendage to advertisements, and may take the form of anecdote. For example: Yesterday, as the celebrated George Bon-Mot was sauntering down St. James' street, he met the lively Lady Mary Myrtle, coming out of the Park. "Why, Lady Mary, I'm surprised to meet you in a white jacket; for I expected never to have seen you but in a full-trimmed uniform and a light-horseman's cap!" Indeed, George, where could you have learned that?" "Why," replied the wit, "I just saw a painting of you in a new publication called the Camp Magazine; which, by-theby, is a very clever thing, and is sold at No. 3, on the right hand of the way, two doors from the printing office, the corner of Ivy lane, Paternoster row, price only one shilling!"

Sneer. Very ingenious indeed!

Puff. But the puff collusive is the newest of any; for it acts in the disguise of determined hostility. It is much used by bold booksellers and enterprising poets. "An indignant correspondent observes, that the new poem called Beelzebub's Cotillion, is one of the most unjustifiable performances he ever read! The severity with which certain characters are handled is quite shocking! And there are

many descriptions in it decidedly indelicate. The shameful avidity with which this piece is bought by all people of fashion, is a reproach on the taste of the times, and a disgrace to the delicacy of the age!" Here, you see, the two strongest inducements are held forth: first, that nobody ought to read it; and, secondly, that everybody buys it; on the strength of which, the publisher boldly prints the tenth edition, before he had sold ten of the first. Dang. Ha! ha ha! In truth, I know it is so. (Exeunt.) FROM SHERIDAN.

CXCI.-DEFENSE OF SOCRATES.-No. I.

SOCRATES, having filled high offices in the army and Senate of Athens, retired from a sense of duty, to private life, and devoted himself entirely to the gratuitous instruction of his younger countrymen, in religion and virtue. He appears to have attained a more correct idea of the true God and the principles of the Christian religion, than any heathen of whom we have an account. His virtuous life excited the envy of his countrymen, and he was tried, condemned, and executed, upon the charge of impiety and of corrupting the youth.

This extract and the two succeeding ones, are from his defense, and may be spoken separately, or either two, or all three, together.

"I AM accused of corrupting the youth, and of instilling dangerous maxims into their minds, as well in regard to Divine worship, as to the rules of government. You know, Athenians, that I never made it my profession to teach. No envy, however violent, can reproach me with having ever sold my.instructions. I have an undeniable evidence for me in this respect, in my poverty.

If, among

I am always equally ready to communicate my thoughts both to the rich and the poor, and to give them opportunity to question or answer me. I lend myself to every one who is desirous of becoming virtuous. those who hear me, there are any that prove either good or bad, neither the virtues of the one, nor the vices of the other, to which I have not contributed, are to be ascribed

to me.

My whole employment is to counsel the young and the old against too much love for the body, for riches and all other precarious things, of whatever nature they be; and against too little regard for the soul, which ought to be the object of their affection. I incessantly urge to them, that virtue does not proceed from riches; but, on the contrary, riches and good, from virtue. If to speak in this manner be to corrupt youth, I confess, Athenians, that I am guilty, and deserve to be punished.

If what I say be not true, it is most easy to convict me of falsehood. I see here are a great number of my disciples. They have only to come forward. It will, perhaps, be said, that the regard and veneration due to a master who has instructed them, will prevent them from declaring against me. But their fathers, brothers, and uncles, can not, as good relations and good citizens, excuse themselves for not standing forth to demand vengeance against the corrupter of their sons, brothers, and nephews. These are, however, the persons who take upon them my defense, and interest themselves in the success of my cause.

CXCII.-DEFENSE OF SOCRATES.-No. II.

PASS on me what sentence you please, Athenians. I can neither repent, nor alter my conduct. I must not abandon or suspend a function which God himself has imposed on me. Now, he has charged me with the care of instructing my fellow-citizens.

If, after having faithfully kept all the posts wherein I was placed by our generals, the fear of death should now, make me abandon that in which the Divine Providence has placed me; this would be a most criminal desertion irdeed, and make me highly worthy of being cited before this tribunal, as an impious man, who does not believe in the gods.

Should you resolve to acquit me, I should not, Athenians, hesitate to say, I honor and love you. But I shall

choose rather to obey God than you.

To my latest breath I shall never renounce my philosophy, nor cease to exhort and reprove you according to my custom.

I will say to each of you as occasion offers; "My good friend and citizen of the most famous city in the world for wisdom and valor, are you not ashamed to have no other thoughts than those of amassing wealth, and of acquiring glory, credit, and dignities? Are you not ashamed to neglect the treasures of prudence, truth, and wisdom, and take no pains to render your soul as good and perfect as it is capable of being?"

I am reproached with abject fear, and meanness of spirit, for being so busy in imparting my advice to every one in private, and for having always avoided to be present in your assemblies, to give my counsels to my country. I think I have sufficiently proved my courage and fortitude in the field, where I have borne arms with you. I have proved it, also, in the senate, where I alone opposed the unjust sentence you pronounced against the ten captains; and when, upon more than one occasion, I opposed the violent and cruel orders of the thirty. tyrants.

What is it then that has prevented me from appearing in your assemblies? Do not take it ill, I beseech you, if I speak my thoughts without disguise, and with truth and freedom. Every man who would generously oppose a whole people, either among us or elsewhere, and who inflexibly applies himself to prevent the violation of the laws, and the practice of iniquity in a government, will never do so long with impunity. It is absolutely necessary for such a man, if he has any thoughts of living, to remain in a private station, and never to have any share in public affairs.

CXCIII.-DEFENSE OF SOCRATES.-No. III.

ATHENIANS, if, in my present extreme danger, I do not imitate the behavior of those, who, upon less emergencies, have implored and supplicated their judges with tears, and