Unconscious Humor

Τον

The Memory of
John Phillips
Accidentally Shot

as

A Mark of Affection by His
Brother.

From St. Nicholas', Yarmouth:

Here lyeth ye body of
SARAH BLOOMFIELD,
Aged 74

Cut off in blooming yuthe we can but pity.

In New Jersey:

Julia Adams

Died of thin shoes, April 17th, 1839,
aged 19 years.

In Plymouth churchyard:

Here lies the body of

Thomas Vernon,

The only surviving son of
Admiral Vernon.

Ingenious youth, thou art laid in dust.
Thy friends, for thee, in tears did burst.

From Montmartre cemetery:

Here lies A. B.

Who at the age of eighteen
earned £40 a year.

Over the grave of a musical composer were the lines

He has gone to the only place where
His own works are excelled.

This was copied by the widow of a pyrotechnics manufacturer, as follows:

*Erected by his spouse
to the memory of

AB

Manufacturer of Fireworks.

He has gone to the only place
Where his own works are excelled.

The widow of a man who was blown to pieces by gunpowder, insisted that the following be written above his gathered fragments:

He rests in pieces.

> John Palfryman, who is buried here
Was aged four and twenty year,
And near this place his mother lies
Likewise his father when he dies.

Ledyard, Conn., on a man who died of natural causes after several attempts at suicide:

He died an honest death.

On a missionary in India:

Here lies the body of the Rev. T. Henry, M. A., who long laboured as a Christian missionary amongst the Rajputs.

He was shot by his chokedar.

"Well done, good and faithful servant."

A marble-cutter, inscribing the words,—“Lord, she was thine" upon a tombstone, found that he had not figured his spaces correctly and he reached the end of the stone one letter short. The epitaph therefore read:

"Lord, she was thin."

The following is an extract from a letter received at the Pension Office at Washington:

"As I married three soldiers, I don't see how you can git out of holding that I am the widow of at least one of them. I done my duty to one and all of them, and I laid them out side by side, as you can see by visiting the sometry at Oke Hill, where they lay at rest under their names and dates, with one poem covering all.

O Lord, who maketh man to live
For but a fleating day,

You have it in Your power to give
As well as take away."

A marble-cutter, not having sufficient room upon the stone for the desired epitaph,-" Let her rest in peace!" abbreviated it thus:>

“Let her R. I. P.”

From Germantown, Pa.:

Here lies the dust of Louisa Orr, whose soul is now a little ANGLE in Heaven.

Here lies Peter Montgomery, who was accidentally shot in his 30th year. This monument was erected by grateful relatives.

From Colorada:

Bill Jenkins. Died June 13, 1901.

He done his damn'dest damn'dest.

could do no more.

Angels

From a churchyard in Rothesay :

Erected by JANE

to the memory of her husband JOHN

"Him that cometh unto me I will in no wise cast out."