good hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what key shall a man take you, to go in the song? Claud. In mine eye, she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on. Bene. I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such matter: there's her cousin, an she were not possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty, as the first of May doth the last of December. But I hope, you have no intent to turn husband; have you? Claud. I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife. Bene. Is it come to this, i'faith? Hath not the world one man, but he will wear his cap with suspicion? Shall I never see a bachelor of threescore again? Go to, i'faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and sigh away Sundays. Look, Don Pedro is returned to seek you. Re-enter Don PEDRO. D. Pedro. What secret hath held you here, that you followed not to Leonato's? Bene. I would, your grace would constrain me to tell. D. Pedro. I charge thee on thy allegiance. Bene. You hear, Count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb man, I would have you think so; but on my allegiance,-mark you this, on my allegiance :-He is in love. With who?-now that is your grace's part.-Mark, how short his answer is: With Hero, Leonato's short daughter. Claud. If this were so, so were it uttered. Bene. Like the old tale, my lord: it is not so, nor 'twas not so; but, indeed, God forbid it should be so. Claud. If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it should be otherwise. D. Pedro. Amen, if you love her; for the lady is very well worthy. Claud. You speak this to fetch me in, my lord. D. Pedro. By my troth, I speak my thought. Claud. And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine. Bene. And, by my two faiths and trothis, my lord, I spoke mine. Claud. That I love her, I feel. D. Pedro. That she is worthy, I know. Bene. That I neither feel how she should be loved, nor know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me; I will die in it at the stake. D. Pedro. Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite of beauty. Claud. And never could maintain his part, but in the force of his will. Bene. That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead, or hang my buglet in an invisible baldric, all women shail pardon ae: Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do 957 99T # The tune sounded to call off the dogs.. myself the right to trust none; and the fine is, (for the which I may go the finer,) I will live a bachelor. D. Pedro. I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love. Bene. With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord; not with love prove, that ever I lose more blood with love, than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen, and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house, for the sign of blind Cupid. D. Pedro. Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument. Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat, and shoot at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapped on the shoulder, and called Adams. D. Pedro. Well, as time shall try: Bene. The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns, and set them in my forehead: and let me be vilely painted; and in such great letters as they write, Here is good horse to hire, let them signify under my sign,Here you may see Benedick the married man. Claud. If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad. D. Pedro. Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly. Bene. I look for an earthquake too then. D. Pedro. Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the mean time, good sîgnior Benedick, repair to Leonato's; commend nie to him, and tell him, I will not fail him at supper; for, indeed, he hath made great preparation. Bene. I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage; and so I commit youClaud. To the tuition of God: From my house, (if I had it,)— D. Pedro. The sixth of July: Your loving friend, Benedick. Bene. Nay, mock not, mock not: The body of your discourse is sometime guarded! with fragments, and the guards are but slightly basted on neither: ere you flout old ends any further, examine your conscience; and so I leave you. [Exit BENEDICK. Claud. My liege, your highness now may do me good. [it but how, D. Pedro. My love is thine to teach; teach And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn, Any hard lesson that may do thee good. Claud. Claud. Hath Leonato any son, my lord? Hunting-horn. + Girdle. § The name of Trimmed. But now I am return'd, and that war thoughts SCENE III. Another Room in Leonato's Have left their places vacant, in their rooms Ď. Pedro.Thou wilt be like a lover presently, Claud. How sweetly do you minister to love, The fairest grant is the necessity: [lov'st; Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO. Leon. How now, brother? Where is my cousin, your son? Hath he provided this music? Ant. He is very busy about it. But, brother, I can tell you strange news that you yet dreamed not of. Leon. Are they good? Aut. As the event stamps them; but they have a good cover, they show well outward. The prince and Count Claudio, walking in a thick-pleached alley in my orchard, were thus much overheard by a man of mine: The prince discovered to Claudio, that he loved my niece your daughter, and meant to acknowledge it this night in a dance; and, if he found her accordant, he meant to take the present time by the top, and instantly break with you of it. Leon. Hath the fellow any wit, that told you this? Ant. A good sharp fellow I will send for him, and question him yourself. Leon. No, no; we will hold it as a dream, till it appear itself:-but I will acquaint my daughter withal, that she may be the better prepared for an answer, if peradventure this be true. Go you, and tell her of it. [Several · persons cross the stage.] Cousins, you know what you have to do.-O, I cry you mercy, friend; you go with me, and I will use your skill: Good cousins have a care this busy time. [Exeunt. humour. Con. Yea, but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root, but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest. D. John. I had rather be a canker in a hedge, than a rose in his grace; and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all, than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied that I am a plain dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle, and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage: If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking in the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. Con. Can you make no use of your dis content? D. John. I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here? What news, Bora chio? Enter BORACHIO. Bora. I came yonder from a great supper; the prince, your brother, is royally entertained by Leonato; and I can give you intelligence of an intended marriage. D. John. Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool, that betroths himself to unquietness? Bora. Marry, it is your brother's right hand. D. John. Who? the most exquisite Claudio? Bora. Even he. D. John. A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks he? Dog-rose. The venereal disease. § Flatter. Bora. Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato. D. John. A very forward March chick! How came you to this? may prove food to my displeasure: that young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow; if I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way: You are both sure, and will as Con. To the death, my lord. Bora. Being entertained for a perfumer, assist me? I was smoking a musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand in hand, in sad * D. John. Let us to the great supper; their conference: I whipt me behind the arras; cheer is the greater, that I am subdued : and there heard it agreed upon, that the prince'Would the cook were of my mind!-Shall we should woo Hero for himself, and having ob-go prove what's to be done? tained her, give her to count Claudio. C D. John. Come, come, let us thither; this Bora. We'll wait upon your lordship. [Exeunt. SCENE I. A Hall in Leonato's House. Leon. Was not count John here at supper? Ant. I saw him not. Beat. How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him, but I am heart-burned an hour after. Leo. Well then, go you into hell? Beat. No; but to the gate; and there will the devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and say, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here's no Get you to heaven, place for you maids so deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for the heavens; he shows me where the bachelors sit, Hero. He is of a very melancholy disposi-and there live we as merry as the day is long. tion. Ant. Well, niece, [To HERO.] I trust, you will be ruled by your father. Beat. He were an excellent man, that were made just in the mid-way between him and Beat. Yes, faith; it is my cousin's duty to Benedick: the one is too like an image, and make courtesy, and say, Father, as it please says nothing; and the other, too like my la-you-but yet for all that, cousin, let him be dy's eldest son, evermore tattling. Leon. Then half signior Benedick's tongue in count John's mouth, and half count John's melancholy in signior Benedick's face,Beat. With a good leg, and a good foot, uncle, and money enough in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the world, -if he could get her good will. a handsome fellow, or else make another courtesy, and say, Father, as it please me. Leon. Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband. Leon. By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue. Ant. In faith, she is too curst. Beat. Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen God's sending that way: for it is said, God sends a curst cow short horns; but to a cow too curst he sends none. Leon. So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns. Beat. Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing, I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening: Lord! I could not endure a husband with a beard on I had rather lie in the woollen. Leon. You may light upon a husband, that his face; hath no beard. Beat. What should I do with him? dress him in my apparel, and make him my waiting gentlewoman? He that hath a beard, is more than a youth; and he that hath no beard, is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth, is not for me; and he that is less than I am not for him. Therefore I will even take sixpence in earnest of the bear-herd, and lead his apes into hell. a man, *Serious. other metal than earth. Leon. Daughter, remember, what I told you: if the prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer. Beat. The fault will be in the music, cou sin, if you be not woo'd in good time: if the prince be too important t, tell him, there is measure in every thing, and so dance out the answer. For hear me, Hero; Wooing, wedding, and repenting, is as a Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinque-pace: the first suit is hot and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the wedding, mannerly-modest, as a measure full of state and ancientry; and then comes repentance, and, with his bad legs, falls into the cinque pace faster and faster, till he sink into his grave. Leon. Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly. Beat. I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by day-light. Leon. The revellers are entering; brother, make good room. Enter Don PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, light in him; and the commendation is not in BALTHAZAR; Don JOHN, BORACHIO, his wit, but in his villany; for he both pleasMARGARET, URSULA, and others, eth men, and angers them, and then they laugh at him, and beat him: I am sure, he is in the fleet; I would he had boarded me. masked. D. Pedro. Lady, will you walk about with your friend * ? Hero. So you walk softly, and look sweetly, and say nothing, I am yours for the walk; and, especially, when I walk away. D. Pedro. With me in your company? D. Pedro. And when please you to say so? Hero. When I like your favour; for God defend t, the lute should be like the case! D. Pedro. My visor is Philemon's roof; within the house is Jove. Hero. Why, then your visor should be thatch'd. D. Pedro. Speak low, if you speak love. [Takes her aside. Bene. Well, I would you did like me. Marg. So would not I, for your own sake; for I have many ill qualities. Bene. Which is one? Marg. I say my prayers aloud. Bene. I love you the better; the hearers may cry, Amen. Marg. God match me with a good dancer! Balth. Amen. Marg. And God keep him out of my sight, when the dance is done!-Answer, clerk, Balth. No more words; the clerk is an swered. Urs. I know you well enough; you are signior Antonio. Ant. At a word, I am not. Urs. I know you by the waggling of your head. Ant. To tell you true, I counterfeit him. Urs. You could never do him so ill-well, unless you were the very man: Here's his dry hand up and down; you are he, you are he. Ant. At a word, I am not. Urs. Come, come; do you think I do not know you by your excellent wit? Can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum, you are he: graces will appear, and there's an end. Beat. Will you not tell me who told you so? are? Bene. Not now. you Bene. When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what you say. Beat. Do, do: he'll but break a comparison or two on me; which, peradventure, not marked, or not laughed at, strikes him into melancholy; and then there's a partridge-wing saved, for the fool will eat no supper that night [Music within.] We must follow the leaders. Bene. In every good thing. Beat. Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next turning. [Dance. Then exeunt all but Don JOHN, BORACHIO, and CLAUDIO: D. John. Sure, my brother is amorous on Hero, and hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it. The ladies follow her, and but one visor remains. Bora. And that is Claudio; I know him by his bearing. D. John. Are not you signior Benedick? D. John. Signior, you are very near my brother in his love: he is enamoured on Hero; I pray you, dissuade him from her, she is no equal for his birth; you may do the part of an honest man in it. Claud. How know you he loves her? D. John. I heard him swear his affection. Bora. So did I too; and he swore he would marry her to-night. D. John. Come, let us to the banquet. [Exeunt Don JOHN and BORACHIO. Claud. Thus answer I in name of Benedick, But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio. [self. Tis certain so;-the prince wooes for himFriendship is constant in all other things, Save in the office and affairs of love: Therefore, all hearts in love use their own tongues; Let every eye negotiate for itself, This is an accident of hourly proof, [Hero! Bene. Count Claudio? Bene. Come, will you go with me? Bene. Even to the next willow, about your own business, count. What fashion will you wear the garland of? About your neck, like an usurer's chain? or.under your arm, like a lieutenant's scarf? You must wear it one way, for the prince hath got your Hero. Claud. I wish him joy of her. Bene. Why, that's spoken like an honest Incredible. Accosted. ¶ Passion. drover; so they sell bullocks. But did you think, the prince would have served you thus? Claud. I pray you, leave me. Bene. Ho! now you strike like the blind man; 'twas the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the post. Claud. If it will not be, I'll leave you. marry her, though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed: she would have made Hercules have turned spit; yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her; you shall find her the infernal Até † in good apparel. I would to God, some scholar would [Exit. conjure her; for, certainly, while she is here, Bene. Alas, poor hurt fowl! Now will hea man may live as quiet in hell, as in a sanccreep into sedges. But, that my lady Bea-tuary; and people sin upon purpose, because trice should know me, and not know me! they would go thither; so, indeed, all disquiet, The prince's fool!-Ha! it may be, I go un- horror, and perturbation follow her. der that title, because I am merry-Yea; but 80; I am apt to do myself wrong: I am not so reputed: it is the base, the bitter disposition of Beatrice, that puts the world into her person, and so gives me out. Well, I'll be revenged as I may. Re-enter Don PEDRO, HERO, and LEO NATO. D. Pedro. Now, signior, where's the count; Did you see him? Bene. Troth, my lord, I have played the part of lady Fame. I found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren; I told him, and, I think, I told him true, that your grace had got the good will of this young lady; and I offered him my company to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be whipped. D. Pedro. To be whipped! What's his fault? Re-enter CLAUDIO and BEATRICE. D. Pedro. Look, here she comes. Bene. Will your grace command me any service to the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes, that you can devise to send me on; I will fetch you a toothpicker now from the farthest inch of Asia; bring you the length of Prester John's foot; fetch you a hair off the great Cham's beard; do you any embassage to the Pigmies, rather than hold three words' conference with this harpy: You have no employment for me? D. Pedro. None, but to desire your good company. Bene. O God, sir, here's a dish I love not; I cannot endure my lady Tongue. [Exit. D. Pedro. Come, lady, come; you have lost the heart of signior Benedick. Beat. Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile; and I gave him use for it, a donble Bene. The flat transgression of a school-heart for his single one: marry, once before, boy; who, being overjoy'd with finding a bird's nest, shows it his companion, and he steals it. D. Pedro. Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? The transgression is in the stealer. Bene. Yet it had not been amiss, the rod had been made, and the garland too; for the garland he might have worn himself; and the rod he might have bestow'd on you, who, as I take it, have stolen his bird's nest. D. Pedro. I will but teach them to sing, and restore them to the owner. Bene. If their singing answer your saying, by my faith, you say honestly. he won it of me with false dice, therefore your grace may well say, I have lost it. D. Pedro. You have put him down, lady, you have put him down. Beat. So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest I should prove the mother of fools. I have brought count Claudio, whom you sent me to seek. D. Pedro. Why, how now, count? wherefore are you sad? Claud. Not sad, my lord.. D. Pedro. How then? Sick? Beat. The count is neither sad, nor sick, D. Pedro. I'faith, lady, I think your blazon to be true; though, I'll be sworn, if he be so, his conceit is false. Here, Claudio, I have wooed in thy name, and fair Hero is won; I have broke with her father, and his good will obtained: name the day of marriage, and God give thee joy! D. Pedro. The lady Beatrice hath a quar-nor merry, nor well: but civil, count; civil rel to you; the gentleman, that danced with as an orange, and something of that jealous her, told her, she is much wronged by you. complexion. Bene. O, she misused me past the endurance of a block; an oak, but with one green leaf on it, would have answered her; my very visor began to assume life, and scold with her: She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the prince's jester; that 1 was duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest, with such impossible* conveyance, apon me, that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me: She speaks poniards, and every word stabs: if her breath were as terrible as her termina . Leon. Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes: his grace hath made the match, and all grace say Amen to it! Beat. Speak, count, 'tis your cues. Claud. Silence is the perfectest herald of tions, there were no living near her, she joy: I were but little happy, if I could say would infect to the north star. I would not how much.-Lady, as you are mine, I am * Incredible. + The Goddess of Discord. Turn: a phrase among the players. Interest. |