illustration, clap, the younger brother of each word to the shoulder of its beginning capital; but I see no use for it, at all, at all; devil a soul among thein, but must know that D stands for Dennis, and then QB is O'Brien, as plain as the prickles upon my shellelah; and where, I wonder, would O'Brien come from but the sweet county of Tipperary. Och! my dear native place, my heart bounds within ine, when I think upon you, Were I now snugly seated at Barney M Kluskey's fire, with a drop of the soul reviving stuff before me, and Gaglagan O'Donelly, Owen Callaghan, and the rest of the boys around me, I would not need to be after telling them, that O'Brien was a soldier in his Majesty's 88th, or Connaught regiment. Dennis now retired, after having satisfactorily analyzed his grass indented initials. He had no idea, that any inglorious scavenger would, with a sacrilegious hand, and a still more sacrilegious spade, deface his handy-work, in order to cut a turf for a lark, to hop upon; but so fate would have it. When Pat became acquainted with this circumstance, he swore by the Holy St. Patrick, that he would never more engrave in a country, where so little deference was paid to the efforts of genius. The intentional contempt thus thrown upon the handy work of Dennis, was sufficient to counteract the maiming propensities of any one; and to the eternal shame of the ignoble scavenger be it said, it was an efficient lullaby to ours. This seat served another, and a more important purpose. I'll meet at Phillipi, said the spirit to Brutus. I'll meet thee at the carved chair, said the love-sick swain to her blushing maid. Many a round unvarnished tale has there been told upon the listening ears of the rural nymph, while the image of Luna was reflected from the still bosom of the river Eden. Or when old night had reassum'd her reign, There is, says the wise man, a time for every thing. Then, beyond all disputed, there must be a time for matrimony too. The lie direct may probably be given to this assertion by one or two of these testy gentlemen, commonly known by the name of old bachelors, who, through life, indignantly snuff at the cares of the marriage state, and speculate upon that pungency, with as much audity of expression, as if there was not one redeeming sweet shed its genial effervescence around the fate of those who form matrimonial alliances with the fair daughter of old mother Eve. The existence of such as extol the sweets of celibacy is, doubtless, as necessary to establish the reverse of the above assertion, as is the existence of those who love connubial sweets, to establish the verity of that assertion. No, Mr. Editor, if any gentleman, somewhere about 40 years of age, possessed of tolerable length of wind, and as much patience put up in some nook of his mortal structure, as will enable him quietly to listen to the occasional, but beautiful putting forth of a ruby, shrill pipe, chicoses to substantiate the necessity of remaining without a 'half marrow;' in such cases, I shall, in the following sketch, endeavour to prove that there is absolutely a time to marry. Hector Py was the play thing of inordinate passions, unable, or what is fantamount, unwilling to limit his pursuits within the prescribed boundaries of moderation he was oftentimes immersed in troubles, the accompanying effects of which, temporary sorrow for his folly, could not eradicate. At a very critical period of life, he left Langholm, the place of his nativity, and came to Carlisle. He was then placed in the house of his uncle, a respectable tradesman, but an avowed advocate of the principles of infidelity. Although his intellectual powers were far inferior to those of a Hume, a Gibbon, a Volney, or a Voltaire, or the rest of the choice spirits who entered the lists and tilted in the arena of literary strife, he nevertheless disdained to harlour sentiments repugnant to revealed religion, without attempting to communicate their influence to others. The kindred circles and domestic retirement served as theatres for the development of those fundamental materials of his faith and practice, which he laboriously culled from the anti-orthodox effusions of these full grown apostles of Deism. A few Locks of a very different nature occupied a shelf above the parlour door, but there they were stationary as a wooden Xenophon. During the few days I remained there, I was almost a daily visitor at the house. On one of these occasions 1 acted the part of the bashful man, though my efforts were not attended with such unlucky consequence, by requesting liberty to look at some of them; these were Boston's Fourfold State, Crook on the Lot, Prima Media Ultima, by Isaac Ambrose, and the works of some of the other stars of magnitude, in their day and generation. I took the advan '1 tage which this opportunity afforded me, of asking him, if ever he perused these ; he only answered me by a contemptuous laugh, and shifted the conversation to another subject. Before taking my leave, I endeavoured to extract from the evasive gentleman, a satisfactory answer to my query, but my efforts were unsuccessful. He only informed me, in general terins, that the book was the bequest of an indulgent, but a priest-ridden fatherzsentado and se}, ushumi ad eybido (fr 6 tome to Our sons, who soon must occupy our place 07:0 *3% T 970 Will be more wise than the preceding race, of ཎྞཟླ! ; of for The theoretical part of the lyart veteran's precepts, were eagerly sucked in by the expanding mind of the youthful Hector; but the practical virtues which should have emanated from a sense of the binding nature of these precepts were left as things of no value, and fit only to be exemplified in the conduct of such old dastarels as his uncle. Nature was, by this time, making her inroads upon his constitution; but matigre her efforts his mind often glowed with all the romantic enthusiasm of youth. The boasted Lopurity of his conduct sometimes called forth these expansions of overheated imagination; but, in these cases, reason never stepped so far from the helm as to leave him to suppose that the web of acceptance, which he had wrought with the warp and woof of good deeds, would any more than serve to adorn his own unbodied spirit, when summoned into the presence of the dread Eternal; its adaptation to his own necessities was, however, never questioned. When that important period arrived, he hoped that he, as well as the celebrated Rosseau, could resign his spotless soul into the hands of the Majesty of heaven, in order to be rendered a partaker of heaven's felicity. Although the old fellow had long sojourned on this teeming stage of strife, you will, at one glance, perceive that he, in his own estimation, had done nothing more than what was necessary to secure his perfect acceptance. There was not even a wreck behind, for the vagabond Hector, and what was still worse, the untoward spalpeen was beginning Is the fag end of his own web with black woof. The juvenile pursuits which had hitherto Doccupied his attention, were now bartered for others more conjenial to the temperament bof a clevers fellow. He could anathematise the gown and landed gentleman, în firstrate style, and dub Tartarus as a place by them invented, in order to seat their spiritual despotism more deeply in the hearts of their superstitious adherents. Furthermore, he could laugh at Biblical announcements, and tear its truths into tatters, with a fell smile of triumph, and scatter them, as it were, to the passing winds of heaven, while bd the evanescent plaudits of the brotherhood were reiterated and by him received as an oftatample compensation for his ingenuity, and as a debt unavoidably due to his superior eloquence. His talents, thus known, soon recommended him to the esteem of a kinsindred conclave; who met in a place hard by that of Tobias Philpot. I cannot now stop to specify the particular topics on which they animadverted, suffice it to say, that our youthful hero soon signalized himself by his speculations, and their gratitude was, in returny manifested by installing him in the enviable office of officiating high-priest. The new order of priesthood may, perhaps, call forth your risible emotions, Mr. Editor, but I beg you will, for a little, suspend their operations. It is not every sheep-shank minds that is competent to fill this redoubted post. Every latitudinarian fultinsvotion must be, by the high-priest, measured by the square and compass of TP← 1 and its merit or demerit finally estimated by its deviation from the common-place opinions of the multitude. You will also perceive, that this was none of your dogmatic, Psalmsinging meetings. Wesley's hymns were there no desideratum; but our landlora did his duty, by infusing a competent proportion of acid along with the spirits, while making the punchy in order to make it palatable. There is no doubt but the gaily circling glass would induce some of the choice spirits orsen Migell, ad q” To tune their vocal pipes, and skir 11 2nd elstezin zyn Till roof and rafters a' did dirl;', at all events, time did not hang heavy upon their hands; the solemn hour was often announced, in which ghosts and witches love to revel, had had Ere wander'd forth those sons gorde Of Bolial, flown with insolence and wine.' 1 The gallant Hector then led the sport, while, like Banter, they kicked hungry whores mauled the watchmen, &c. when Morpheus had scaled up their eyes, and strewed, with somnific balm, the couches of sober virtue. These practices, so hostile in their nature, ! to decorum, were, only the darling art of others still more pernicious. He soon côn, tracted liabits of gambling, but here his ingenuity failed him. His pockets were often drained by the kuavery of sharpers, and a sarcastic compliment upon his dexterity at shuthing, dealing, and playing cards, was all the remuneration he received for this liberality. The authority vested in the uncle was every way inadequate to counteract these propensities. The opinion he entertained of his own capabilities to effect this, ¿s Consummation devoutly to be wished,' was to the when he hoped to christianise the world. But, full, as sanguine as that of Melancthon But, like him, he was ultimately obliged to confess that young Hector was too many for him, Things thus went on, from bad to worse, until he was eventually expelled from his uncle's house; but this was an event for which the sly rogue was luckily prepared. Indeed, such an accomplished fellow could not possibly exist without doing his obeissnce to the ladies; you will not therefore, be surprised, Mr. Editor, when you learn that he had crept into the good graces of a hoary dulcinea, who, by dint of parsimony, hind scraped together a hugger full yellow boys. There is no doubt but this old dame would have preferred the goodqold 1 way of matrimony, to that of antinuptial fornication, had her swain thereto assented; but to hymenean proposals he was deaf as the adder to the charms of music; his love only extended to the bottom of her purse: this secured, the devil, or Doctor Hdrabook, had he been alive, might have taken the carcase of Deborah,. The good old woman had some shrewd suspicions of this herself, but her esteem for the male part of the cercation had not waned with her advancing years, they rather grew upon her decline; (hence, she had no desire to creep into nature's last resting-place, until she had partook of the solace their company was capable of affording. A short time's cohabitation with her Adonis, convinced her that there was more pleasure to be derived from anticipation than not from actual enjoyment. His pursuits and nocturnal rambles filled her mind with avervarying anxieties, while the money lavished on the prosecution of these was quickly draining her coffers. Though old, she had penetration enough to perceive this and arsdatterly resolution enough to withstand his extravagant demands. Hector, iperplexed with, her impertinence, railed at her in terms, in good set, terms, and finally abandoned there shall pass over the rest of his love amours and blackguardists to give in a few words, the concluding part of this sketch. Deformed as, was his character, be secretly loved virtue, and had long cherished a passion for the amiable Miss Sher image floated in his imagination around the scenes of loud revelry, and was rendered, in his >situation, still more lovely by the impassable barrier which his virtue-revolting conduét had peared betwixt them. Could he conjure any thing from the world of nature, formidable nenough to sweep every trace of the past into the vortex of eternal oblivion, he might, gode by laying embargos upon his passions, exhibit a turn of conduct more consonant to the 10 requirements of virtue, but this was impossible; however, he did not despair, in the hope that his personal accomplishments would counterbalance other defects.ble attempted to secure her regard, but the citadel of her heart was better fortified than til Delairal's His advances were indignantly rejected he could all brock such treatalment as this, but there was no alternative, pride stepped in to his aidpanil painted rather as a saucy minx, but love again rubbed off the faint, and hurled the painter: from fils bosom, which was tossed between these conflicting elements, till he resolved to try noithe efficacy of a billet doux ; she condescended to answer it, by informing him that not r&his person, but his principles and practices were the objects of her aversion, and so long bib as these were persisted in, no farther tokens of his esteem were requisite. This epistle sealed him seriously to reflect upon his past conduct, it stood before him in all its d deformity, grid and ultimately produced a reformation, satisfactory in its nature, and apparently stable in its duration. Thus, the only obstacle to the affection of Miss S was reinoved, an intimacy commenced, which had its termination in marriage. The displeasure manifested by some of her relations, induced them to marry privately; but the uniform prudence and sobriety which characterises his conduct, has now cancelled all animosity. The influence of his uncle's principles are now lost on his mind. He undeviatingly supports those principles which he before condemned, and detests those which he before supported. Hoping that I have now established the truth of my assertion, namely, that there is a time to marry, and that to this marringe [was owing Hector's happiness, I shall at present take my leave, and resume at another time number 3,di batram " T 1. 1 THE EFFECTS OF VANITY AND DISSIPATION. **** 蘸 ebayni var vá k To the Editor of the Literary Melange, !I 1. Sin, Should you think the enclosed worthy of a place in your paper, your inserting it will oblige yours, 1 Das T BAR. Or all places in the world, none is capable of affording affording so much real pleasure as Home; yet no place is so much neglected." I have been induced to make this reflection, from having observed the reckless apathy and indifference with which many sacrifice domestic peace and comfort, at the shrine of dissipation and folly, and the truest worldly bliss, for the sake of gratifying contemptible vanity. How many families have been robbed of their happiness, to gratify the licentious habits of a single member of the little community.— Parents hearts have ached for the sake of those to whom, at one time, they looked forward as the staff of their old age. The devoted and affectionate wife has seen her sweetest hopes withered, her enjoyments, curtailed, one by one, her attention rewarded with neglect, her sufferings with reproaches; and for what? merely that an unfeeling madman, an idiot, might have it in his power to indulge in frequent revelry and riot, with others as dissolute as himself. Youth, health, expectation, are thus, alas! too often swallowed up, and ere the meridian of life is attained, discase, poverty, discontent, stare the infatuated mortal in the face. Reproach glares him in the teeth at home -shame follows him to the street-life becomes an object of indifference, and he degenerates unto a thing despised and shunned by all who respect themselves. A late friend of mine, a young man of considerable talents, was a melancholy ly instance of the truth of those remarks. Endowed with much more than a common share of ability; combining in his character, the poet and philosopher, with sensibility enough in his compositions to make him feel for the miseries of others, he, at the early age of twenty-four, became so completely deprayed by his love of pleasure, and devotedness to convivial enjoyment, that he entirely lost his own good opinion, and blasted the best hopes of his numerous friends. It is a sad pity to see a gallant vessel become a total wreck, ere it has made a single voyage; and to see the willing ventures of confiding souls cast away on the shoals of negligence and folly. The love of admiration was his bane. Early indulged with the means of gratifying his propensities, he eagerly embarked on the seemingly smooth sea of pleasure, and sailed gaily down its alluring stream, nor doubted his own security, until he was engulphed in the vortex of total ruin-so faint was his dependance on his own principles, that he scarcely believed his own senses, when they told him he was a DRUNKARD. At his entrance into life, he was hailed by the gay, and carressed by the careless, and was soon looked up to as a being possessed of superior talent. His eloquence was wonderful, and his general colloquial powers so fascinating, that he bound his auditors by a spell so irresistible and sweet, that time, in his company, often slipped away unperceived, and morning frequently dawned ere parting became an object of consideration. One Sunday morning we chanced to meet, he had spent the preceding night in dissipation, and was returning home to his father's, pale and emaciated. I proposed a walk, to enable him to shake off some of the effects of the 11 F.FFECTS OF VANITY AND DISSIPATION. last night's intemperance, to which he assented. After discoursing on a variety of subjects, I ventured to ask him, if he never intended reforming. He answered, he was afraid it was impossible. My habits have grown inveterate, and, in spite of my resolution, impcl me to indulgencies which I despise, but cannot resist. Home has become a hell. I am hated by my friends, and have nothing to care for. They cannot enter into my feelings, nor sympathise with my distresses; and I often sit unheeded and alone in the midst of the family. I replied, that I believed his distresses were only to be found in his own imagination, and were nothing more than the effects of a torturous way of thinking. There is a mistake which offenders often like you fall into; they imagine themselves hated and despised by their friends, because they do not smile upon their crrors. Do not believe that the gloom which overspreads the faces of your friends, is occasioned by any want of regard. The grief which they inust feel for your follies may deprive them of cheerfulness. What you mistake for hate, is the working of overstrained affection, and is one of the truest proofs of the love of your family. I observed that he imagined himself neglected, and painted out to him the folly of indulging in such a belief. What have you done, that the world should raise you above your fellows dignity and desert should ever be inseparable. Alas!' he exclaimed, I have done nothing, but he paused a moment, and finished the half-uttered sentence, with I could do much. Believe me, my dear friend, I replied, much must be done before the world can know your merits. Trust not in the insinuations of your companions in revelry, who measure your knowledge, and estimate your worth, by their own ignorance and inferiority. If they cannot raise you in your own esteem, how can they do it in that of the world? Their best praise is transient and fleeting, as the dimming influence of breath upon a polished mirror, yet while it lasts, it obscures its brilliancy, I continued-how will you look on your father, when you return this morning? Will the praise which was heaped on you last night, at your carousal, convince your heart that you have not erred? Can you expect sympathy from outraged feeling, and tenderness from those from whom you deserve reproach? Selfishness itself could only harbour such ideas, and surely your heart is not yet callous? Much moved, he answered, I do not expect such a reception. I know, my folly admits of no extenuation. It makes me more miserable, than those who suffer by it. In such moments, I fly to the muse to give vent to the feelings that agitate my bosom.' Yes, I exclaimed, and give rhymes for contrition, and the promise of future amendment; this accounts for the gloomy verses of which you are the author; but think not, that the sweetest lines you ever wrote can compensate for a sleepless night, and an aching heart-those you frequently cause, and seem indifferent to the pain you create; yet are your verses strongly marked with reproaches against the unfeeling. How finely you demonstrate, that we need not always expect virtue from those who write against vice-nor patriotism from those who rail at oppression-nor purity from those who raise the loudest cry at corruption. No, dear friend, do not think that all people have got such delicate minds that with which you are gifted-nor think yourself neglected, if poetry is not accepted in lieu of affection. We who are mere children of the earth, prefer example to precept, and receive more pleasure from grasping the original, than can be conveyed by gazing on the picture; yet blame us not, nor despise, us, though we lack ་ as |