Forth the resolved 16 corners of his eyes. This makes me young again, a score of years. What has he given me? Mos. No, sir. Corb. Nothing! ha? Mos. He has not made his Will, sir. What then did Voltore, the lawyer, here? 320 Mos. At no hand: 22 pardon me: You shall not do yourself that wrong, sir. I Will so advise you, you shall have it all. Corb. How? 360 Mos. He smelt a carcase, sir, when he but If you will hear, sir. Corb. Yes, with all my heart. with speed; Corb. Ay, do, do, do: [Going. Corb. Let out my sides, let out my sides- Your flux25 of laughter, sir: you know this hope Is such a bait, it covers any hook. 440 Tolp. O, but thy working, and thy placing it! I cannot hold; good rascal, let me kiss thee: 400 Pour oil into their ears, and send them hence. Volp. 'Tis true, 'tis true. What a rare punishment Corb. I thought on that too. See, how he should be The very organ to express my thoughts! Mos. 410 You have not only done yourself a Corb. But multiplied it on my son. Is avarice to itself! BEAUMONT AND FLETCHER (1584-1616) (1579-1625) FROM THE KNIGHT OF THE BURNING PESTLE.* INDUCTION. Several Gentlemen sitting on Stools upon the Stage. The Citizen, his Wife, and Ralph sitting below among the audience. Enter Speaker of the Prologue. S. of Prol. "From all that's near the court, from all that's great, 24 may cheat pursue you, 25 flow cheat! *This play was written and acted about 1611. Like Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, it is made up of diverse elements-a romantic comedy and a burlesque. Herein are given a few scenes of the latter, which can easily be detached from the main plot. It grocer, and he shall do admirable things. Wife. [below.] Hold thy peace, Ralph; I know what I do, I warrant ye.-Husband, husband! Cit. What sayest thou, cony ?6 Wife [below.] Let him kill a lion with a pestle, husband! let him kill a lion with a S. of Prol. Are you a member of the noble pestle! city? Cit. I am. S. of Prol. And a freeman ?3 S. of Prol. So, grocer, then, by your sweet favour, we intend no abuse to the city. Cit. No, sir! yes, sir: if you were not resolved to play the Jacks, what need you study for new subjects, purposely to abuse your betters? why could not you be contented, as well as others, with "The Legend of Whittington,'' or "The Life and Death of Sir Thomas Gresham, with the building of the Royal Exchange," or "The story of Queen Eleanor, with the rearing of London Bridge upon woolsacks?''+ S. of Proi. You seem to be an understanding man: what would you have us do, sir? Cit. Why, present something notably in honour of the commons of the city. S. of Prol. Why, what do you say to "The Life and Death of fat Drake, or the Repairing of Fleet Sewers?'' Cit. So he shall.-I'll have him kill a lion with a pestle. Wife. [below.] Husband! shall I come up, husband? Cit. Ay, cony.-Ralph, help your mistress this way. Pray, gentlemen, make her a little room. I pray you, sir, lend me your hand to help up my wife: I thank you, sir.-So. [Wife comes on the Stage. Wife. By your leave, gentlemen all; I'm something troublesome: I'm a stranger here; I was ne'er at one of these plays, as they say, before; but I should have seen "Jane Shore" once; and my husband hath promised me, any time this twelvemonth, to carry me to "The Bold Beauchamps," but in truth he did not. I pray you, bear with me. Cit. Boy, let my wife and I have a couple of stools, and then begin; and let the grocer do rare things. [Stools are brought. S. of Prol. But, sir, we have never a boy to play him: every one hath a part already. Wife. Husband, husband, for God's sake, let Cit. I do not like that; but I will have a Ralph play him! beshrew me, if I do not think citizen, and he shall be of my own trade. S. of Prol. Oh, you should have told us your mind a month since; our play is ready to begin now. Cit. 'Tis all one for that; I will have a must be understood that it was the custom at theaters to admit gallants and others who liked to be conspicuous, and who were willing to pay an extra sixpence, to seats on the stage, where they often abused their privilege by indulging in audible criticism of the play and players. The authors of the present drama ingeniously staged that custom as a part of their own play and took the opportunity to satirize both the taste and understanding of their dunce-critics. Furthermore, they wove in a burlesque upon the romantic extravagance of knight-errantry, presenting in Ralph, the grocer's apprentice, another Don Quixote, like him whose immortal deeds had been given to the world's laughter but a few years before. 1 Supply "that." 4 play the knave (cp. 2 always The Tempest, IV., 8 one invested with full i., 918) citizen's rights 5 ordinary citizens These are titles of old plays, more or less distorted; the reference to London Bridge is a jesting addition. The title proposed five lines farther down is of course a jest. he will go beyond them all. Cit. Well remembered, wife.-Come up, Ralph.-I'll tell you, gentlemen; let them but lend him a suit of reparel and necessaries, and, by gad, if any of them all put him to shame, I'll be hanged. [Ralph comes on the Stage. Wife. I pray you, youth, let him have a suit of reparel!-I'll be sworn, gentlemen, my husband tells you true: he will act you sometimes at our house, that all the neighbours cry out on him; he will fetch you up a couragings part so in the garret, that we are all as feared, I warrant you, that we quake again: we'll fears our children with him; if they be never so unruly, do but cry, "Ralph comes, Ralph comes!" to them, and they'll be as quiet as lambs.-Hold up thy head, Ralph; show the 6 rabbit' (a term of endearment) 7 The grocer means to say "apparel and accessories." 8 valiant 9 scare gentlemen what thou canst do; speak a huffing10 part; I warrant you, the gentlemen will accept of it. Cit. Do, Ralph, do. Ralph. "By Heaven, methinks, it were an easy leap Cit. Ay.-Come, wife. Wife. Sit you merry all, gentlemen; I'm bold to sit amongst you for my ease. [Citizen and wife sit down. S. of Prol. "From all that's near the court, from all that's great, To pluck bright honour from the pale-faced Within the compass of the city-walls, moon; Or dive into the bottom of the sea, And pluck up drowned honour from the lake We now have brought our scene. Fly far from hence All private taxes,17 immodest phrases, For wicked mirth never true pleasure brings, Cit. How say you, gentlemen, is it not as But honest minds are pleased with honest I told you? Wife. Nay, gentlemen, he hath played before, my husband says, Mucedorus,12 before the wardens of our company. things."— Thus much for that we do; but for Ralph's part you must answer for yourself. Cit. Take you no care for Ralph; he'll dis Cit. Ay, and he should have played Jero- charge himself, I warrant you. nimo12 with a shoemaker for a wager. S. of Prol. He shall have a suit of apparel, if he will go in. Cit. In, Ralph, in Ralph; and set out the grocery in their kind,13 if thou lovest me. [Exit Ralph. Wife. I warrant, our Ralph will look finely when he's dressed. S. of Prol. But what will you have it called? Cit. "The Grocer's Honour." S. of Prol. Methinks "The Knight of the Burning Pestle" were better. Wife. I'll be sworn, husband, that's as good a name as can be. [Exit Speaker of Prologue. Wife. I'faith, gentlemen, I'll give my word for Ralph. ACT I, SCENE III. Enter Ralph, as a Grocer, reading Palmerin of England,18 with Tim and George. [Wife. Oh, husband, husband, now, now! there's Ralph, there's Ralph. Cit. Peace, fool! let Ralph alone.-Hark you, Ralph; do not strain yourself too much at Cit. Let it be so.-Begin, begin; my wife the first.-Peace!-Begin, Ralph.] and I will sit down. S. of Prol. I pray you, do. Ralph. [Reads.] Then Palmerin and Trineus, snatching their lances from their dwarfs, Cit. What stately music have you? you and clasping their helmets, galloped amain after have shawms? S. of Prol. Shawms! no. Cit. No! I'm a thief, if my mind did not give14 me so. Ralph plays a stately part, and he must needs have shawms: I'll be at the charge of them myself, rather than we'll be without them. S. of Prol. So you are like to be. Cit. Why, and so I will be: there's two shillings;-[Gives money.]-let's have the waits15 of Southwark; they are as rare fellows as any are in England; and that will fetch them all o'er the water16 with a vengeance, as if they were mad. the giant; and Palmerin, having gotten a sight of him, came posting amain, saying, "Stay, traitorous thief! for thou mayst not so carry away her, that is worth the greatest lord in the world;" and, with these words, gave him a blow on the shoulder, that he struck him besides19 his elephant. And Trineus, coming to the knight that had Agricola behind him, set him soon besides his horse, with his neck broken in the fall; so that the princess, getting out of the throng, between joy and grief, said, "All happy knight, the mirror of all such as follow arms, now may I be well assured of the love thou bearest me."-I wonder why the kings do S. of Prol. You shall have them. Will you not raise an army of fourteen or fifteen hunsit down, then? dred thousand men, as big as the army that the Prince of Portigo,brought against Rosicleer,20 and destroy these giants; they do much hurt to wandering damsels, that go in quest of give all the shoes in their shop for him.] their knights. [Wife. Faith, husband, and Ralph says true; for they say the King of Portugal cannot sit at his meat, but the giants and the ettins21 will come and snatch it from him. Cit. Hold thy tongue.-On, Ralph!] Ralph. And certainly those knights are much to be commended, who, neglecting their possessions, wander with a squire and a dwarf through the deserts to relieve poor ladies. [Wife. Ay, by my faith, are they, Ralph; let 'em say what they will, they are indeed. Our knights neglect their possessions well enough, but they do not the rest.] . . . Ralph. But what brave spirit could be content to sit in his shop, with a flappet22 of wood, and a blue apron before him, selling mithridatum and dragon 's-water23 to visited24 houses, that might pursue feats of arms, and, through his noble achievements, procure such a famous history to be written of his heroic prowess? [Cit. Well said, Ralph; some more of those words, Ralph. Wife. They go finely, by my troth.] Ralph. My beloved squire Tim, stand out. Admit this were a desert, and over it a knighterrant pricking,25 and I should bid you inquire of his intents, what would you say? Tim. Sir, my master sent me to know whither you are riding? Ralph. No, thus: "Fair sir, the right courteous and valiant Knight of the Burning Pestle commanded me to inquire upon what adventure you are bound, whether to relieve some distressed damsel, or otherwise.'' [Cit. Scurvy blockhead, cannot remember! Wife. I'faith, and Ralph told him on't be fore: all the gentlemen heard him.-Did he not, gentlemen? did not Ralph tell him on 't^] George. Right courteous and valiant Knight of the Burning Pestle, here is a distressed damsel to have a halfpenny-worth of pepper. [Wife. That's a good boy! see, the little boy can hit it; by my troth, it's a fine child.] Ralph. Relieve her, with all courteous language. Now shut up shop; no more my prentices, but my trusty squire and dwarf. I must bespeak26 my shield and arming pestle. [Excunt Tim and George. Ralph. What say you, mistress? Ralph. Why should not I, then, pursue this course, both for the credit of myself and our company for amongst all the worthy books of achievements, I do not call to mind that I yet read of a grocer-errant: I will be the said knight. Have you heard of any that hath wandered unfurnished of his squire and dwarf? | Ralph. My elder prentice Tim shall be my trusty squire, and little George my dwarf. Hence, my blue apron! Yet, in remembrance of my former trade, upon my shield shall be portrayed a Burning Pestle, and I will be called the Knight of the Burning Pestle. [Wife. Nay, I dare swear thou wilt not forget thy old trade; thou wert ever meek.] Ralph. Tim! Tim. Anon. Ralph. My beloved squire, and George my dwarf, I charge you that from henceforth you never call me by any other name but "the right courteous and valiant Knight of the Burning Pestle;" and that you never call any female by the name of a woman or wench, but "fair lady," if she have her desires, if not, "distressed damsel;" that you call all forests and heaths "" 'deserts," and all horses "palfreys." [Wife. This is very fine, faith.-Do the gentlemen like Ralph, think you, husband? Cit. Ay, I warrant thee; the players would 23 popular medicines of the time 24 plague-stricken 21 giants 22 small piece (here pestle) Ralph. By and by.] [Exit. [In the main plot, Jasper Merrythought has been dismissed by his employer for falling in love with his employer's daughter. His father takes his part, but his mother is incensed, and taking her younger son, Michael, and her money and jewels, she leaves her home, and the two are wandering in Waltham Forest, when Ralph comes on the scene.] ACT II, SCENE II. Enter Mistress Merrythought and Michael. Mist. Mer. Come, Michael; art thou not weary, boy? Mich. No, forsooth, mother, not I. Mist. Mer. Where be we now, child? Mich. Indeed, forsooth, mother, I cannot tell, unless we be at Mile-End: Is not all the world Mile-End, mother? Mist. Mer. No, Michael, not all the world, boy; but I can assure thee, Michael, Mile-End 25 riding 26 order |