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--words so often mere empty skeletons of sound, but now raised up and robed, and gifted with heaven's living voice. In this Word of God, I find all that I once hopelessly longed for,—truth, majesty, beauty, harmony, loftiest heroism, floods of light, and fountains of life, the Son of man from heaven! --the God of heaven upon Calvary!

" How different a thing aspiration is, when we know that higher than the highest heights of our aspirations we shall ascend and dwell for ever; seeing the King in His beauty in the land that is very far off; joining in the song of the loving seraphim and the everwise cherubim ; full of love and knowledge ourselves! Yet not unto us will be the glory, for we shall cast our crowns at the Saviour's feet, in the fulness of deepest humility! Oh that the time were come, and that there were no need to descend from these mountains of aspiration into the low, dark valleys of earthly life! Is it wrong to wish to die? Surely not, for death is the door into all sinless and unselfish glory.

on me.

Feb. 12th. I have been to see Miss Morris. D'Arcy often spends hours with

. her, and says that it is like talking with the angels. Yesterday, I went with my heart full of all those high, happy thoughts. I fancied she would understand them. She did look so glad when I told her of the change which God's blessing on his Word had made

Her joy was indeed like the angels in heaven over a sinner that repenteth ; but then I sat down on a low seat beside her, and looked up in her face, and told her how I longed to die, to be with my Lord for

She put her hand upon my brow, and it felt like the touch of a mother, but there was a shadow in her smile, as she said,

Where would be your crusade then, dear child? What would you have thought of the Red-Cross knights, if they had expected to win their crowns, before bearing their crosses ?” Ah, I saw that Dr. Brown had been telling her of my old foolish flights and imaginations! but I liked the thought so much. Then she told me that the highest



attainment was not to be walking upon the earth with our eyes upon heaven ; but to be walking in heaven with our eyes upon earth. I did not quite understand at first, but now I think that she must have meant that while our hearts are full of a heavenly peace, and joy, and light, we are yet not to be neglecting any step, rood, or acre of the earth God has set our feet upon ; but gazing down in that clear light to see His will and our work, and to do it even as the angels in heaven. What a glorious, life-long crusade that would be! From this time and henceforth, I will strive to curb the wilful excelsiors, and only utter those of lowly accordance with God's will, whether for life or death, rest or work, earth or heaven.

March 10th.Ah, how little I knew at first of the difficulties of a real life-crusade against the selfishness, and indolence, and pride into which I have been plunged for so many years ! Many times within the last few weeks, I have been on the point of giving up in despair. Anna de Lacy has been here,

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and her amusement at my Methodism' has been as difficult to bear as martyrdom. Then I got proud and angry, and she would say, * Where is your religion now, sweet Nell ?' It would all have been wretched, if I had not found comfort where I believe I shall go on to find yet more and more comfort and pardon, for every sin, failure, and inconsistency. Each day I live, I feel increasingly how much

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Miss Morris says that there is such a difference in Christians, some so happy and useful, and others so gloomy and dwarfed, and that it is just because the one looks to Jesus Christ for everything, and in everything, and the other looks into miserable Self; and so though both are safe, yet the one will have an 'abundant entrance,' and the other will be saved as by fire.'

“ Each day, too, I feel less inclined to wonder at the inconsistencies of 'good people, that is, those who are struggling to live for God. The marvel seems to me that they

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are ever able to be consistent at all, when one feels all the new, hidden, daily difficulties in one's own way. Ah! I don't think that any one would ever bring that forward as a serious argument, except those who have determined not to enter the strait gate at all, or who do not like to watch their own footsteps in the narrow way.

“I try now not to long selfishly and wilfully for it, but what a bright gleam of hope and sunshine comes with the remembrance of all that is to be, when the cross is no longer needed, and the crown is ready, and the harpers harping, and the doors of the many mansions open with a glorious welcome! Miss Morris says that the best use to make of such aspirations is to be roused up to help as many people as we can to share all blessed things with us, whether present or future. I never thought of such a thing in my old days ! all my excelsiors were for myself alone. Now, I wish, oh, so earnestly! to win others to go UP

I did speak to Anna, but she only laughed; still I went on, and then she grew

with me.

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