Dor. It's agreed, then, I shall expect you. (Exis Doric, L. Measureton runs to Sponge, and seizes him by the button-hole.)

Mea. My dear sir, pray pardon the freedon I made use of this morning; but, in truth, I did not know you.

Sponge. (R.) My dear sir, don't mention it; but have the kindness to leave me. (Aside.) There goes the merrythought.

Mea. No, no; you are engaged for Thursday, but I hope that on Friday

Sponge. On Friday, be it,-and let that settle it. Ah! the fowl's all gone. (Takes his hat off, and putting it on Measureton's head, presses it over his eyes. As Measureton exits L. Sponge goes to table.) It appears you have not been idle, gentlemen. Fortunately, I am accustomed to quick eating, and I shall soon overtake you.

Enter GAMMON, L.

Gammon. Pray, is there one Mr. Dalton any where here? Dalton R. points to Sponge L.) I beg your pardon, (to Sponge,) but I wish to speak a word with you, if you please, on an affair of the greatest importance.

Sponge. My dear fellow, another time, another time; at the present moment it's impossible. (To Dalton, who i again helping himself.) Sir, sir, you'll die of an indigestion. (To Gammon, who is growing impatient.) Now, now, don't be troublesome,—don't you see the dinner?

Gam. Yes, and the business I've come about is concerning the dinner.

Sponge. What can your business have to do with my dinner? Gam. You'll know that soon enough.

Sponge, (calling.) Waiter, send more beefsteak! (Gammon pulls Sponge by the sleeve.) Why, in the name of famine, have you such an objection to my putting a bit of any thing in my mouth?

Gam. Explanation is unnecessary. I have orders to take your person. I shall be sorry to employ force; but if necessary, I have assistance at hand.

Sponge. This comes of taking people's names we know nothing of. (Aside.)

Gam. L'ome, come, I must take you to prison.

Sponge. Only wait until I get a bit of dinner, and you may take me any where. (Gammon is pulling him away.) This will never do; I think it will be more prudent to declare the truth-word in your ear. (Whispers in Gammon's ear.) Gam. (L.) What! then, after all, you're not Mr. Dalton? Sponge. (R.) No, my naine is Sponge, at your service,happy to dine with you any day, after Friday. I'm not the rich man, upon my honor; but you ought to have known that by my appetite.

Gam. Sir, I have to ask you a thousand pardons. It's true, I was to arrest Mr. Dalton; but, bless your soul! it was all a sham; I'm no officer,-I was only employed to force him to dine at the manor-house, with his wife and friends. You see they had laid a wager—

Dal. (jumping up. Which they have lost, for my dinner's ended. (All start.) Yes, my name's Dalton, and my dinner's ended!

Sponge. Your name Dalton! who then am I? I'm nobody.

Dal. However, we will repair home (crosses to L.) for the dessert, and regale our friends with the adventures of the morning. Waiter, toothpicks! (The waiter gives them toothpicks.) As for you, my dear Amphitryon, we heartily thank you for your kind invitation, and we hope you'll not forget (Exeunt Dalton and Lovell, L.) Sponge. You may depend upon me. I shall get no dinJer till then, that's clear. (As Sponge is musing, the waiter comes and offers him a toothpick; the other waiters clear the table.) What is this?

ours.

Waiter. (R.) A toothpick!

(Kicks the waiter of R.) Then it appears that every

Sponge. (L.) A toothpick! This is the height of derision! body has dined but me. By the event, however, I have made a good week of it; let me see, there are dinners for (counting on his fingers,) Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday; but nothing as yet decisive for to-day! (Looks toward the table.) They have cleared away the things, (feeling his pockets,) and I have not the means of enticing them to a second appearance. But if there should be, among all my friends present, any one who dines late,—very late,—and who has the least intention of inviting me home with him, I beg he will not put himself out of the way on my account —I am perfectly at any one's service; but if I should not be happy enough to meet with an invitation for to-day, I hope I shall be more fortunate when I next start "A Race for a Dinner."

HOB AND NOB.

A ROMANCE OF REAL LIFE, IN ONE ACT.

BY MADISON MORTON.

DRAMATIS PERSONA.

JOHN NOB, A journeyman printer. MR. BOUNCER, A lodging-house JAMES HOB, A journeyman hatter.

COSTUMES.

NOB, A small swallow-tailed black coat, short buff waistcoat, light trousers-short, turned up at bottom,-black stock. ings, shoes, cotton neckcloth, and shabby black hat.

keeper.

HOв, A brown coat, long white
waistcoat, dark trousers, boots,
white hat, and black stock.
MR. BOUNCER, A waistcoat, nan-
keen trousers, and white ap-

ron.

REMARKS. The parts of Hob and Nob should be played in a manner bordering on burlesque; the more extravagart they can be made, the nearer will they be represented as the author intended, providing, always, that the bounds of gentlemanly conduct are not passed by the personators.

SCENE. A Room. At c., a bed with curtains closed; at L.

c., a door; at L. H., a door; a chest of drawers, L. H.; at back R. H., a window; a door R. H; below the door R. H., a fireplace with a mantle over it; table and chairs R. C.; a box of matches on the mantle-piece; a gridiron hanging by the side of the fireplace. Hoв, dressed, with the exception of his coat, is discovered looking at himself in a small looking-glass, which he holds in his hands. Hob should wear a close-cropped, light-colored wig.

Never mind

Hob. I've half a mind to register an oath, that I'll never have my hair cut again! I look as if I had just been cropped for the militia! And I was particularly emphatic in my directions to the hair-dresser, only to cut the ends off. He must have thought I meant the other ends! I shan't meet any body to care about so early. I declare! I haven't a moment to lose. me with the most punctual, particular, and peremptory of hatters, and I must fulfill my destiny. (Knock, L.) Open locks, whoever knocks.

Enter MR. BOUNCER.

Eight o'clock, Fate has placed

Mr. B. Good-morning, Mr. Hob, I hope you slept comfortably, Mr. Hob?

Hob. I can't say I did, Mr. B. I should feel obliged to you, if you would induce Mrs. B. to accommodate me with a more protuberant bolster, Mr. B. The one I've got now, seems to me to have about a handful and a half of feathers at each end, and nothing whatever in the middle.

Mr. B. Any thing to accommodate you, Mr. Hob. Mrs. B. has gone into the country for a day or two, leaving me to attend to the wishes of her respected lodger.

Hob. Thank you; then, perhaps, you'll be good enough to hold this glass while I finish my toilet.

Mr. B. Certainly. (Holding glass before Hob, who ties on his cravat.) Why, I do declare, you've had your hair cut! Hob. Cut? It strikes me I've had it mowed! It's very kind of you to mention it; but I'm sufficiently conscious of the absurdity of my personal appearance already. (Puts on his coat.) Now for my hat. (Puts on his hat, which comes down over his eyes.) That's the effect of having one's hair cut! This hat fitted me quite tight before. Luckily, I've got two or three more. (Goes of L., and returns with three hats of different shapes, and puts them on one after the other, all of which are too big for him. This is pleasant!