W. I don't know that I ever heard it; but I may have heard it, and forgot it. B. Well, Sir, perhaps we may fall upon a way to make you remember it. W. I don't know, Sir; I would tell it if I knew it. B. O! to be fure you would; you are remarkably communicative.-Well, you heard a noife, and I fuppole you went to fee it too. W. Yes; we went to the house where it came from B. So it came from a house, and pray what kind of a house? W. The Cock and Bottle, a public-house. B. The Cock and Bottle! why I never heard of fuch a house. Pray what has a cock to do with a bottle? W. I can't tell; that is the fign. B. Well-and what paffed then? W. We went in to fee what was the matter, and the prifoner there B. Where? W. Him at the bar, there; I know him very well. B. You know him? how came you to know him? W. We worked journey-work together once; and I remember him well. B. So your memory returns: you can't tell the name of the street, but you know the name of the public-houfe, and you know the prifoner at the bar.-You are a very pretty fellow! And pray what was the prifoner doing? W. When I faw him, he was B. When you faw him! did I ask you what he was doing, when you did not fee him? W. I understood he had been fighting. B. Give us none of your understanding-tell what you faw. W. He was drinking fome Hollands and water. B. Are you fure it was Hollands and water? W. Yes; he asked me to drink with him, and I just put it to my lips. B. No B. No doubt you did, and, I dare fay, did not take it foon from them. But now, Sir, recollect you are upon oath-look at the jury, Sir-upon your oath, will you aver, that it was Hollands and water? W. Ye B. What! was it not plain gin? W. No; the landlord faid it was Hollands. B. O! now we shall come to the point-The landlord faid! Do you believe every thing the landlord of the Cock and Bottle fays? W. I don't know him enough. B. Pray what religion are you of? B. Do you believe in a future ftate? B. Then, what paffed after you drank the Hollands and water? W. I heard there had been a fight, and a man killed; and I faid, "O! Robert, I hope you have not done this:" and he shook his head B. Shook his head! And what did you understand by that? W. Sir! B. I fay, what did you understand by his shaking his head? W. I can't tell. B. Can't tell!-Can't you tell what a man means when he fhakes his head? W. He faid nothing. B. Said nothing! I don't ask you what he faidWhat did you fay? W. What did I fay? B. Don't repeat my words, fellow; but come to the point at once. Did you see the dead man? W. Yes; he lay in the next room. B. And how came he to be dead? W. There had been a fight, as I faid before-- B. Speak B. Speak up-his lordship don't hear you-can't you raise your voice? W. There had been a fight between him and the prifoner B. Stop there-Pray, when did this fight begin? W. I can't tell exactly; it might be an hour before. The man was quite dead. B. And so he might, if the fight had been a month before-that was not what I afked you. Did you fee the fight? W. No-it was over before we came in. B. We! What we? W. I and my friend. B. Well-and it was over-and you faw nothing? W. No. B. Gem'men of the jury, you'll please attend to this-he pofitively fwears he faw nothing of the fight. Pray, Sir, how was it that you faw nothing of the fight? W. Because it was over before I entered the house, as I faid before. B. No repetitions, friend.-Was there any fighting after you entered? w. No, all was quiet. B. Quiet! you just now said, you heard a noife— you and your precious friend. W. Yes, we heard a noise B. Speak up, can't you; and don't hesitate fo. W. The noife was from the people, crying and lamenting B. Don't look to me-look to the jury-well, crying and lamenting. W. Crying and lamenting that it happened; and all blaming the dead man. B. Blaming the dead man! why, I fhould have thought him the most quiet of the whole-(another laugh)-But what did they blame him for? w. Because he ftruck the prifoner feveral times, without any caufe, B. Did B. Did you fee him ftrike the prifoner? W. No; but I was told that B. We don't ask you what you was told-What did you fee? W. I faw no more than I have told you. B. Then why do you come here to tell us what you heard? W. I only wanted to give the reason why the company blamed the deceased. B. O! we have nothing to do with your reasons, or their's either. W. No, Sir, I don't fay you have. B. Now, Sir, remember you are upon oath-you fet out with fetching a midwife; I prefume you now went for an undertaker. W. No, I did not. B. No! that is furprifing; fuch a friendly man as you! I wonder the prifoner did not employ you. W. No, I went away foon after. B. And what induced you to go away? W. It became late; and I could do no good. B. I dare fay you could not—And so you come here to do good, don't you? W. I hope I have done no harm-I have spoken like an honeft man-I don't know any thing more of the matter. B. Nay, I fhan't trouble you farther; (witness retires but is called again). Pray, Sir, what did the pri foner drink his Hollands and water out of? W. A pint tumbler. B. A pint tumbler! what! a rummer? W. I don't know-it is a glafs that holds a pint. W. I believe fo. B. Aye, when it is full, I fuppofe.-You may go your ways, John Tomkins.-A pretty hopeful fellow that. [Afide.] -Monthly Magazine. N. B. The neceffity of giving the above Lessons will appear by the following Article :---- M 2 AN 'A AN INTERESTING ANECDOTE. Ta trial fome few years ago in Ireland, a Mr. Morton profecuted one John Farrel for an af fault, with an attempt to commit a rape, upon his daughter. When Mr. Morton had given his teftimony for the crown (as the term is), he was crossexamined by the counfel for the prifoner. The firft queftion afked him by one of thefe counfel was, "Pray, Sir, is the young lady your daughter?" The witness replied, "Yes.' "Pray, Sir" continued the counsel, "How do you know the is your daughter?" The witness thus expreffed himself: "Gentlemen of the jury, I am called upon in this court to give my teftimony-I have given it; and have given it honeftly as to my mind, and true as to the fact. A counsel (at least I fuppofe him fo by his impertinence) has asked me, Whether I can, upon oath, fwear that this young lady is my daughter?Many of you are fathers, and will feel upon the occafion as I do. "One obfervation I beg permiffion of the court to make: it is, that in fupport of the laws of my country, I come forward here to punish a tranfgreffor at my own expence, and that the man who has asked me the question as to my daughter's legitimacy, and who, no doubt, means to ask many more of the fame fort, is a perfon BRIBED to prevent the courfe of justice. "Gentlemen, I will prove the affertion. Look to his brief he there acknowledges to have received ten guineas to defend a villain. "Will you believe the teftimony, on oath, of a man who is not purchased, in preference to the argument of a man who is publicly bribed, or will you not? That is the question." This fo completely humbled the felf-fufficient counfel, that he was immediately dumb-foundered, and the prifoner was convicted, and fentenced to two years imprisonment, and to give fecurity for his good beha |