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When Telephus his youthful Charms,
No. 171. His rosie Neck and winding Arms,
Saturday, With endless Rapture you recite,
And melt my very Soul away.
. In short, he is so desirous of engrossing all your Love, that he is grieved at the want of any Charm, which, he believes, has power to raise it; and if he finds, by your Censures on others, that he is not so agreeable in your Opinion as he might be, he naturally concludes you could love him better, if he had other Qualifications, and that by Consequence your Affection does not arise so high as he thinks it ought. If therefore his Temper be Grave or Sullen, you must not be too much pleased with a Jest, or transported with any thing that is gay and diverting. If his Beauty be none of the best, you must be a profest Admirer of Prudence, or Quality he is Master of, or at least vain enough to think he is.
In the next place, you must be sure to be free and open in your Conversation with him, and to let in Light upon your Actions, to unravel all your Designs, and discover every Secret however trifling or indifferent. A jealous Husband has a particular Aversion to Winks and Whispers, and if he does not see to the Bottom of every thing, will be sure to go beyond it in his Fears and Suspicions. He will always expect to be your chief Confident, and where he finds himself kept out of a Secret, will believe there is more in it than there should be. And here it is of great concern, that you preserve
No. 171 the Character of your Sincerity uniform and of a piece :
Imagination immediately takes a false hint, and runs off
If both these Methods fail, the best way will be to let him see, you are much cast down and afflicted for the ill Opinion he entertains of you, and_the Disquietudes he himself suffers for your sake. There are many, who take a kind of barbarous Pleasure in the Jealousie of those who love them, that insult over an aking Heart, and triumph in their Charms which are able to excite so much Uneasiness.
Ardeat ipsa licet, tormentis gaudet amantis.--Juv. But these often carry the Humour so far, till their affected Coldness and Indifference quite kills all the Fondness of a Lover, and are then sure to meet in their turn with all the Contempt and Scorn that is due to so insolent a Behaviour. On the contrary, it is very probable, a melancholy, dejected Carriage, the usual effects of injured Innocence, may soften the Jealous Husband intó Pity, make him sensible of the Wrong he does you, and work out of his Mind all those Fears and Suspicions that make you both unhappy. At least it will have this good Effect, that he will keep his Jealousie to himself, and repine in private, either because he is sensible it is a Weakness, and will therefore hide it from your Knowledge, or because he will be apt to fear some ill Effect it may produce, in cooling your Love towards him, or diverting it to another.
There is still another Secret that can never fail, if you can once get it believ'd, and which is often practis'd by Women of greater Cunning than Virtue : This is to change Sides for a while with the Jealous Man, and to turn his own Passion upon himself; to take some Occasion of growing Jealous of him, and to follow the Example he himself hath set you. This Counterfeited Jealousie will bring him a great deal of Pleasure, if he thinks it real; for he knows experimentally how much
Love goes along with this Passion, and will besides No. 171, feel something like the Satisfaction of a Revenge, in Saturday, seeing you undergo all his own Tortures. But this, Sept. 15,
1711. indeed, is an Artifice so difficult, and at the same time so dis ingenuous, that it ought never to be put in Practice, but by such as have Skill enough to cover the Deceit, and Innocence to render it excusable. I shall conclude this Essay with the Story of Herod
1 and Mariamne, as I have collected it out of Josephus, which may serve almost as an Example to whatever can be said on this Subject.
Mariamne had all the Charms that Beauty, Birth, Wit and Youth could give a Woman, and Herod all the Love that such Charms are able to raise in a warm and amorous Disposition. In the midst of this his Fond ness for Mariamne, he put her Brother to Death, as he did her Father not many Years after. The Barbarity of the Action was represented to Mark Antony, who immediately summoned Herod into Egypt, to answer for the Crime that was there laid to his Charge. Herod attributed the Summons to Antony's Desire of Mariamne, whom therefore before his Departure he gave into the Custody of his Uncle Joseph, with private Orders to put her to Death, if any such Violence was offer'd to himself. This Joseph was much delighted with Mariamne's Conversation, and endeavour'd with all his Art and Rhetorick to set out the Excess of Herod's Passion for her, but when he still found her Cold and Incredulous, he inconsiderately told her, as a certain Instance of her Lord's Affection, the private Orders he had left behind him, which plainly shew'd, according to Joseph's Interpretation, that he could neither Live nor Die without her, This Barbarous Instance of a wild unreasonable Passion quite put out, for a time, those little Remains of Affection she still had for her Lord: Her Thoughts were so wholly taken up with the Cruelty of his Orders, that she could not consider the Kindness that produced them, and therefore represented him in her Imagination, rather under the frightful Idea of a Murderer than a Lover. Herod was at length acquitted and dismissed by Mark Antony, when
No. 171 his Soul was all in Flames for his Mariamne; but
Report he had heard of his Uncle's Conversation and
After this he was forced on a second Journey into Egypt, when he committed his Lady to the Care of Sohemus, with the same private Orders he had before given his Uncle, if any Mischief befel himself. In the mean while Mariamne so won upon Sohemus by her Presents and obliging Conversation, that she drew all the Secret from him, with which Herod had entrusted him, so that after his Return, when he flew to her with all the Transports of Joy and Love, she received him coldly with Sighs and Tears, and all the Marks of Indifference and Aversion. This Reception so stirred up his Indignation, that he had certainly slain her with his own Hands, had not he feared he himself should have become the greater Sufferer by it. It was not long after this when he had another violent Return of Love upon him; Mariamne was therefore sent for to him, whom he endeavoured to soften and reconcile with all possible Conjugal Caresses and Endearments; but she declin'd his Embraces, and answer'd all his Fondness with bitter Invectives for the Death of her Father and her Brother. This Behaviour so incensed
Herod, that he very hardly refrain'd from striking her ; No. 171 when in the heat of their Quarrel there came in a Saturday, Witness, suborn'd by some of Mariamne's Enemies, Sept 15, who accused her to the King of a Design to poison him. Herod was now prepared to hear any thing in her Prejudice, and immediately ordered her Servant to be stretch'd upon the Rack; who in the Extremity of his Tortures confest, that his Mistress's Aversion to the King arose from something Sohemus had told her ; but as for any, Design of poisoning, he utterly disowned the least Knowledge of it. This Confession quickly proved fatal to Sohemus, who now lay under the same Suspicions and Sentence that Joseph had before him on the like Occasion, Nor would Herod rest here; but accused her with great Vehemence of a Design upon his Life, and by his Authority with the Judges had her publickly Condemned and Executed. Herod soon after her Death grew melancholy and dejected, retiring from the Publick Administration of Affairs into a solitary Forest, and there abandoning himself to all the black Considerations which naturally arise from a Passion made up of Love, Remorse, Pity and Despair. He used to rave for his Mariamne, and to call upon her in his distracted Fits; and in all Probability would soon have followed her, had not his Thoughts been seasonably called off from so sad an Object by Publick Storms, which at that time very nearly threatned him. L
Monday, September 17,
quam sapientia est appellanda, verum etiam animus paratus
-Plato apud Tull.
held honourable to those who are endowed with them, without any Regard how they are applied. The Gifts of Nature and Accomplishments of Art are valuable, but as they are exerted in the Interests of Virtue, or