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No. 170. jealous Man's Desires, and gives the Party beloved so Friday,
beautiful a Figure in his Imagination, makes him believe Sept. 14, she kindles the same Passion in others, and appears as 1711
amiable to all Beholders. And as Jealousie thus arises from an extraordinary Love, it is of so delicate a Nature that it scorns to take up with any thing less than an equal Return of Love. Not the warmest Expressions of Affection, the softest and most tender Hypocrisie, are able to give any Satisfaction, where we are not per swaded that the Affection is real and the Satisfaction mutual. For the jealous Man wishes himself a kind of Deity to the Person he loves: He would be the only Pleasure of her Senses, the Employment of her Thoughts; and is angry at everything she admires, or takes Delight in, besides himself.
Phaedria's Request to his Mistress, upon his leaving her for three Days, is inimitably beautiful and natural.
Cum milite isto præsens, abseas ut sies :
-Ter. Eun. The jealous Man's Disease is of so malignant a nature, that it converts all he takes into its own Nourishment A cool Behaviour sets him on the Rack, and is interpreted as an Instance of Aversion or Indifference; a fond one raises his Suspicions, and looks too much like Dissimulation and Artifice. If the Person he loves be cheerful, her Thoughts must be employed on another and if sad, she is certainly thinking on himself. In short, there is no Word or Gesture so insignificant but it gives him new Hints, feeds his Suspicions, and furnishes him with fresh Matters of Discovery: So that if we consider the Effects of this passion, one would rather think it proceeded from an inveterate Hatred than an excessive Love; for certainly none can meet with more Disquietude and Uneasiness than a suspected Wife, if we except the jealous Husband.
But the great Unhappiness of this passion is, that it naturally tends to alienate the Affection which it is so
sollicitous to engross; and that for these two Reasons, No. 170. because it lays too great a Constraint on the Words and Friday, Actions of the suspected Person, and at the same time
1711. shews you have no honourable Opinion of her; both of which are strong Motives to Aversion.
Nor is this the worst Effect of Jealousie ; for it often draws after it a more fatal Train of Consequences, and makes the Person you suspect guilty of the very Crimes
you are so much afraid of. It is very natural for such e who are treated ill and upbraided falsely, to find out an
intimate Friend that will hear their Complaints, condole their Sufferings, and endeavour to sooth and asswage their secret Resentments
. Besides, Jealousie puts a Woman ; often in Mind of an ill thing that she would not otherwise
perhaps have thought of, and fills her Imagination with & such an unlucky Idea, as in Time grows familiar, excites
Desire, and loses all the Shame and Horrour which might at first attend it. Nor is it a Wonder, if she who suffers wrongfully in a Man's Opinion of her, and has therefore nothing to forfeit in his Esteem, resolves to give him Reason for his Suspicions, and to enjoy the Pleasure of the Crime since she must undergo the Ignominy. Such
probably were the Considerations that directed the wise į Man in his Advice to Husbands; Be not jealous over the • Wife of thy Bosom, and teach her not an evil Lesson
against thyself. Ecclus. a And here, among the other Torments which this e Passion produces, we may usually observe that none
are greater Mourners than jealous Men, when the · Person who provoked their Jealousie is taken from them. 1 Then it is that their Love breaks out furiously, and
throws off all the Mixtures of Suspicion which choaked • and smothered it before, The beautiful Parts of the 21 Character rise uppermost in the jealous Husband's
Memory, and upbraid him with the ill Usage of so I divine a Creature as was once in his Possession; whilst b all the little Imperfections that were before so uneasie to ¿ him wear off from his Remembrance, and shew themselves no more.
We may see, by what has been said, that Jealousie o takes the deepest Root in Men of amorous Dispositions ;
and of these we may find three Kinds who are most over-run with it.
The First are those who are conscious to themselves of any Infirmity, whether it be Weakness, old Age, Der formity, Ignorance, or the like. These Men are so well acquainted with the unamiable Part of themselves, that they have not the Confidence to think they are really beloved; and are so distrustful of their own Merits, that all Fondness towards them puts them out of Countenance, and looks like a Jest upon their Persons. They grow suspicious on their first looking in a Glass, and are stung with Jealousie at the Sight of a Wrinkle. A handsome Fellow immediately allarms them, and every thing that looks young or gay turns their Thoughts upon their Wives,
A Second sort of Men, who are most liable to this Passion, are those of cunning, wary and distrustful Tempers. It is a Fault very justly found in Histories composed by. Politicians, that they leave nothing to Chance or Humour, but are still for deriving every Action from some Plot and Contrivance, for drawing up a perpetual Scheme of Causes and Events, and preserving a constant Correspondence between the Camp and the Council Table. And thus it happens in the Affairs of Love with Men of too refined a Thought They put a Construction on a Look, and find out a Design in a Smile; they give new Senses and Significations to Words and Actions; and are ever tormenting themselves with Fancies of their own raising: They generally act in a Disguise themselves, and therefore mistake all outward Shows and Appearances for Hipocrisie in others; so that I believe no Men see less of the Truth and Reality of things, than these great Refiners upon Incidents, who are so wonderfully subtile and over-wise in their con ceptions.
Now what these Men fancy they know of Women by Reflection, your lewd and vicious Men believe they have learn'd by Experience. They have seen the poor Husband so mis-led by Tricks and Artifices, and in the Midst of his Enquiries so lost and bewildered in a crooked Intreague, that they still suspect an Under-plot in every
os female Action; and especially where they see any Re- No. 170.
semblance in the Behaviour of two Persons, are apt to Friday, fancy it proceeds from the same Design in both. These Sept. 14,
Men therefore bear hard upon the suspected Party, pursue z her close through all her Turns and Windings, and are
too well acquainted with the Chace to be flung off by any
false Steps or Doubles: Besides, their Acquaintance and 3 Conversation has lain wholly among the vicious Part of
Womankind, and therefore it is no Wonder they censure To all alike, and look upon the whole Sex as a Species of
Impostors. But if, notwithstanding their private Ex*perience, they can get over these Prejudices, and entertain á a favourable Opinion of some Women; yet their own i loose Desires will stir up new Suspicions from another
Side, and make them believe all Men subject to the same is Inclinations with themselves.
Whether these or other Motives are most predominant, we learn from the modern Histories of America,
as well as from our own Experience in this Part of the - World, that Jealousie is no Northern Passion, but rages s most in those Nations that lie nearest the Influence of
the Sun. It is a Misfortune for a Woman to be born e between the Tropicks, for there lie the hottest Regions
of Jealousie ; which as you come Northward cools all i along with the Climate, till you scarce meet with any
thing like it in the Polar Circle, Our own Nation is
very temperately situated in this Respect, and if we 5 meet with some few disordered with the Violence of ¿ this Passion, they are not the proper Growth of our À Country, but are many Degrees nearer the Sun in their · Constitutions than in their Climate.
After this frightful Account of Jealousie, and the Ĉ Persons who are most subject to it, it will be but fair
to shew by what Means the Passion may be best
allay'd, and those who are possessed with it set at Ease. I Other Faults indeed are not under the Wife's Jurisdic
tion, and should, if possible, escape her Observation; but : Jealousie calls upon her particularly for its Cure, and
deserves all her Art and Application in the Attempts
Besides, she has this for her Encouragement, that her į Endeavours will be always pleasing, and that she will
No. 170. Friday Sept. 14, 1711.
still find the Affection of her Husband rising towards her in proportion as his Doubts and Suspicions vanish; for, as we have seen all along, there is so great a Mixture of Love in Jealousie as is well worth the separating. But this shall be the Subject of another Paper.
Saturday, September 15.
Nature of Jealousie, and pointed out the Persons who are most subject to it, I must here apply my self to my Fair Correspondents, who desire to live well with a jealous Husband, and to ease his Mind of its unjust Suspicions.
The first Rule I shall propose to be observed is, that you never seem to dislike in another what the Jealous Man is himself guilty of, or to admire any thing in which he himself does not excell. A Jealous Man is very quick in his Applications; he knows how to find a double Edge in an Invective, and to draw a Satyr on himself out of a Panegyrick on another. He does not trouble himself to consider the Person, but to direct the Character, and is secretly pleased or confounded as he finds more or less of himself in it. The Commendation of any thing in another, stirs up his Jealousie, as it ! shews you have a value for others, besides himself; but the Commendation of that which he himself wants, inflames him more, as it shews that in some Respects you prefer others before him. Jealousie is admirably described in this view by Horace in his Ode to Lydia;
Quum tu, Lydia, Telephi
Cervicem roseam, cerea Telepbi
Fervens difficili bile tumet jecur ,
Certa sede manet, humor & in genas