Obrázky stránek
PDF
ePub

that if you were speaking of them in their abfence, the words in which you defcribed the one muft give you an idea of the other. They were hardly diftinguishable, you would think, when they were apart, tho extremely different when together. What made their enmity the more entertaining to all the rest of their fex was, that in detraction from each other neither could fall upon terms which did not hit herself as much as her adverfary. Their nights grew restless with meditation of new dreffes to outvie cach other, and in inventing new devices to recal admirers, who obferved the charms of the one rather than thofe of the other on the laft meeting. Their colours failed at each other's appearance, flushed with pleafure at the report of a disadvantage, and their countenances withered upon instances of applaufe. The decencies to which women are obliged, made thefe virgins ftifle their refentment fo far as not to break into open violences, while they equally fuffered the torments of a regulated anger. Their mothers, as it is ufual, engaged in the quarrel, and fupported the fe veral pretenfions of the daughters with all that ill-chofen fort of expence which is common with people of plentiful fortunes and mean tafte. The girls preceeded their parentslikes queens of May, in all the gaudy colours imaginable on every Sunday to church, and were expofed to the examination of the audience for fuperiority of beauty.

DURING this conftant ftruggle it happened, that Phillis one day at public prayers fmote the heart of a gay WeftIndian, who appeared in all the colours which can effect an eye that could not diftinguish between being fine and taudry. Tl American in a fummer-ifland fuit was too fhining and too gay to be refifted by Phillis, and too intent upon her charms to be diverted by any of the laboured attractions of Brunetta, Soon after Brunetta had the mortification to fee her rival difpofed of in a wealthy marriage. while the was only addreffed to in a manner that fhewed fhe was the admiration of all men, but the choice of none: Phillis was carried to the habitation of her fpoufe at Barbadoes: Brunetta had the ill-nature to inquire for her by every oportunity, and had the misfortune to hear of her being attended by numerous flaves, fanned into flumbers by fucceffive bands of them, and carried from place to place in all the pomp of baba rous magnificence.

Bru

netta

of

netta could not endure thefe repeated advices, but employed all her arts and charms in laying baits for any condition of the fame ifland, out of a mere ambition to confront her once more before fhe died. She at last fucceeded in her defign, and was taken to wife by a gentleman whofe eftate was contiguous to that of her enemy's husband It would be endless to enumerate the many occafions on which these irreconcileable beauties laboured to excel each other; but in procefs of time it happened that a fhip put into the island configned to a friend of Phillis, who had directions to give her the refufal of all goods for apparel, before Brunetta could be alarmed of their arrival. He did so, and Phillis was dressed in a few days in a brocade more gorgeous and coftly than had ever before appeared in that latitude. Brunetta languifhed at the fight, and could by no means come up to the bravery of her antagonist. She communicated her anguifh of mind to a faithful friend, who by an intereft in the wife of Phillis's merchant, procured a remnant of the fame filk for Brunetta. Phillis took pains to appear in all public places where she was fure to meet Brunetta; Brunetta was now prepared for the infult, and came to a public ball in a plain black filk mantua, attended by a beautiful negrogirl in a petticoat of the fame brocade with which Phillis was attired. This drew the attention of the whole company, upon which the unhappy Phillis fwooned away, and was immediately conveyed to her house. As foon as fhe came to herself fhe fled from her husband's house, went on board a fhip in the road, and is now landed in inconfolable defpair at Plymouth.

POST CR I P T.

AFTER the above melancholy narration, it may per haps be a relief to the reader to perufe the following expoftulation.

To Mr SPECTATO R.

The juft Remonflrance of affronted THAT. "HO' I deny not the petition of Mr Who and Which, yet You should not fuffer them to be rude and to call honeft people names: for that bears very hard on

TH

• fome

fome of those rules of decency, which you are juftly fa" mous for establishing. They may find fault, and correct fpeeches in the fenate and at the bar: but let them try to get themselves fo often and with fo much eloquence repeated in a sentence, as a great orator doth frequently introduce me.

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

My lords! (fays he) with humble fubmiffion, THAT that I fay is this: that, That that gentleman has advanced, is not That that he should have proved to your lordships. Let those two questionary petitioners try to do thus with their Who's and their Whiches.

WHAT great advantage was I of to Mr Dryden in his Indian Emperor,

You force me fill to answer you in That,

to furnifh out a rhyme to Morat? And what a poor fi. gure would Mr Bayes have made without his Egad and all That? How can a judicious man diftinguish one thing from another, without faying This here, or That there? And how can a fober man without using the expletives of oaths (in which indeed the rakes and bullies have a great advantage over others) make a discourse ' of any tolerable length, without That is; and if he be a very grave inan indeed, without That is to fay? And how inftructive as well as entertaining are thofe ufual expreffions, in the mouths of great men, Such things as That, and the like of That.

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

R

I AM not against reforming the corruptions of fpeech you mention, and own there are proper feafons for the introduction of other words befides That; but I fcorn as much to fupply the place of a Who or a which at every turn, as they are unequal always to fill mine; and I expect good language and civil treatment, and hope to receive it for the future: That, that I fhall only add is, that I am,

Yours,

THAT.

THE

312

THE

INDEX

A

A.

BRIG ALS (male) in fashion among the ladies,
N. 45.
Absence in converfation, a remarkable instance of it in
Will. Honeycomb, N. 77. The occafion of this ab-
fence, ib. and means to conquer it, ib. The character
of an abfent man, out of Bruyere, ib.

Acroftic, piece of falfe wit, divided into fimple and com-
pound, N. 60.

Act of deformity, for the ufe of the Ugly Club, N. 17.
Advertisements, of an Italian chirurgeon, N. 22.

From
St. James's coffee-house, 24. From a gentlewoman
that teaches birds to fpeak, 36. From another that is
a fine flefh-painter, 41.

Advice; no order of perfons too confiderable to be ad-
vifed, N. 34.

Affectation, a greater enemy to a fine face than the small-
pox, N. 33. It deforms beauty, and turns wit into ab-
furdity, 38. The original of it, ib. found in the wife
man as well as the coxcomb, ib. The way to get clear
of it, ib.

Age, rendered ridiculous, N. 6. how contemned by the
Athenians, and respected by the Spartans, ib.
Alexander the Great, wry-neck'd, N. 32.

Ambition never fatisfied, N 27.

Americans, their opinion of fouls. N. 56. exemplified in a
vision of one of their countrymen, ib.

Ample (lady) her uneafinefs, and the reafon of it, N. 32.
Anagram, what, and when first produced, N. 60.
Andromache, a great fox-hunter, N. 57.

April (the firft of) the merriest day in the year, N. 47.
Aretine made all the princes of Europe his tributaries,

N. 28.

Arietta,

Arietta, her character, N. 11. her fable of the lion and
the man, in answer to the ftory of the Ephesian matron,
ib. her ftory of Inkle and Yarico, ib.

Ariftotle, his obfervation upon the Iambic verfe, N. 39.
upon tragedies, 40. 42.

Arfinoe, the first mufical opera on the English stage, N. 18.
Avarice, the original of it, N. 55. operates with luxury,
ib. at war with luxury, ib. its officers and adherents,
ib. comes to an agreement with luxury, ib.

Audiences, at prefent void of common sense, N..13.
Aurelia, her character, N. 15.

Author, the neceffity of his readers being acquainted with
his fize, complexion, and temper, in order to read his
works with pleafure, N. 1. his opinion of his own per-
formances, 4. the expedient made ufe of by thofe that
write to the ftage, 51.

B

BACON, (Sir Francis) his compariton of a book well
written, N. 10. his obfervation upon envy, 19.

Bags of money, a fudden transformation of them into
Hicks and paper, N. 3.

Baptift Lully, his prudent management, N. 29.

Bawdry, never writ but where there is a dearth of inven-
tion, N. 51.

Beaver, the haberdasher, a great politician, N. 49.
Beauties, when plagiaries, N. 4. The true fecret how to
improve beauty, 33. then the moft charming when
heightened by virtue, ib.

Bell (Mr) his ingenious device, N. 28.
Bell-Savage, its etymology, N. 28.

Birds, a cage full for the opera, N. 5

Biters, their business, N. 47.

Blackmore, (Sir Richard) his obfervation, N. 6.

Blanks of fociety, who, N. 10.

Blank verfe proper for tragedy, N. 39.

Bouhours (Monfieur) a great critic among the French,

N. 62

Bouts-Rimez, what, N. 60.

Breeding; fine breeding diftinguished from good, N. 66.
British ladies diftinguifhed from the Pitts, N. 41.

Brunetta and Phillis, their adventures, N. 80.

[blocks in formation]
« PředchozíPokračovat »