or North Briton; but that of an Irishman is always comic a true and genuine impudence is ever the effect of ignorance, without the leaft fenfe of it: the best and most fuccefsful Starers now in this town, are of that nation ; they have ufually the advantage of the ftature mentioned in the above letter of my correfpondent, and generally take their stands in the eye of women of fortune: infomuch that I have known one of them, three months after he came from plough, with a tolerable good air lead out a woman from a play, which one of our own breed, after four years at Oxford, and two at the Temple, would have been afraid to look at.

I cannot tell how to account for it, but these people have ufually the preference to our own fools, in the opinion of the fillier part of womankind. Perhaps it is that an English coxcomb is feldom fo obfequious as an Irish one: and when the design of pleasing is visible, an abfurdity in the way toward it is eafily forgiven.

BUT thofe who are downright impudent, and go on without reflection that they are fuch, are more to be tolerated, than a fet of fellows among us who profefs impudence with an air of humour, and think to carry off the moft inexcufable of all faults in the world, with no other apology than faying in a gay tone, I put an impudent face upon the matter. No; no man fhall be allowed the advantages of impudence, who is confcious that he is fuch : if he knows he is impudent, he may as well be otherwise; and it fhall be expected that he bluth, when he fees he makes another do it. For nothing can atone for the want of modefty, without which beauty is ungraceful, and wit deteftable.

No. 21. Saturday, March 24.

I

-Locus eft et pluribus umbris.

R

HOR. Ep. 5. 1. 1. v. 28. There's room enough, and each may bring his friend. CREECH.

AM fometimes very much troubled, when I.reflect upon the three great profeffions, of divinity, law, and phyfic;

how

how they are each of them overburdened with practitioners, and filled with multitudes of ingenious gentlemen that ftarve one another.

WE may divide the clergy into generals, field-officers, and fubalterns. Among the firft we may reckon bishops, deans, and archdeacons. Among the second are doctors of divinity, prebendaries, and all that wear fcarves. The reft are comprehended under the fubalterns. As for the firft clafs, our conftitution preferves it from any redundancy of incumbents, notwithstanding competitors are numberlefs. Upon a ftrict calculation, it is found that there has been a great exceeding of late years in the fecond divifion, feveral brevets having been granted for the converting of fubalterns into fcarf-officers; infomuch that within my memory the price of luteftring is raised above two pence in a yard. As for the fubalterns, they are not to be numbered. Should our clergy once enter into the corrupt practice of the laity, by the splitting of their freeholds, they would be able to carry most of the elections in England.

THE body of the law is no lefs incumbered with fuperfluous members, that are like Virgil's army, which he tells us was fo crowded, many of them had not room to use their weapons. This prodigious fociety of men may be divided into the litigious and peaceable. Under the first are comprehended all those who are carried down in coachfuls to Westminster hall, every morning in term-time. Martial's defcription of this fpecies of lawyers is full of humour:

anger;

that are more

Iras et verba locant. Men that hire out their words and or lefs paffionate according as they are paid for it, and allow their client a quantity of wrath proportionable to the fee which they receive from him. I must however observe to the reader, that above three parts of those whom I reckon among the litigious, are fuch as are only quarrelfome in their hearts, and have no opportunity of fhewing their paffion at the bar. Nevertheless, as they do not know what ftrifes may arife, they appear at the hall every day, that they may fhew themselves in a readiness to enter the lifts, whenever there shall be occafion for them.

THE peaceable lawyers are, in the first place, many of the benchers of the feveral inns of court, who seem to be VOL. I.

H

the

the dignitaries of the law, and are endowed with those qualifications of mind that accomplish a man rather for a ruler than a pleader. These men live peaceably in their habitations, eating once a-day, and dancing once a-year, for the honour of their refpective focieties.

ANOTHER numberlefs branch of peaceable lawyers, are thofe young men who being placed at the inns of court in order to study the laws of their country, frequent the playhouse more than Westminster hall, and are feen in all public affemblies, except in a court of juftice. I fhall fay nothing of those filent and bufy multitudes that are employed within doors, in the drawing up of writings and conveyances; nor of thofe greater numbers that palliate their want of business with a pretence to fuch chamber-practice.

IF, in the third place, we look into the profeffion of phyfic, we fhall find a moft formidable body of men; the fight of them is enough to make a man ferious, or we may lay it down as a maxim, that when a nation abounds in phyficians, it grows thin of people. Sir William Temple is very much puzzled to find out a reason why the northern hive, as he calls it, does not send out fuch prodigious fwarms, and over-run the world with Goths and Vandals, as it did formerly; but had that excellent author obferved that there were no students in phyfic among the subjects of Thor and Woden, and that this science very much flourishes in the north at prefent, he might have found a better folution for this difficulty than any of thofe he has made use of. This body of men in our own country, may be defcribed like the British army in Cafar's time: fome of them flay in chariots, and fome on foot. If the infantry do lefs execution than the charioteers, it is because they cannot be carried fo foon into all quarters of the town, and dispatch fo much bufinefs in fo fhort a time. Befides this body of regular troops, there are ftragglers, who, without being duly lifted and inrolled, do infinite mischief to those who are fo unlucky as to fall into their hands.

THERE are, befides the above-mentioned, innumerable retainers to phyfic, who, for want of other patients, amuse themselves with the ftifling of cats in an air-pump, cutting up dogs alive, or impaling of infects upon the point of a needle for microfcopical obfervations; befides thofe that are employed in the gathering of weeds, and

the

the chace of butterflies: not to mention the cockle-fhellmerchants and spider-catchers.

WHEN I Confider how each of these profeffions are crowded with multitudes that seek their livelihood in them, and how many men of merit there are in each of them, who may be rather faid to be of the fcience, than the profeffion; I very much wonder at the humour of parents, who will not rather chufe to place their fons in a way of life, where an honeft industry cannot but thrive, than in ftations, where the greateft probity, learning and good fenfe may miscarry. How many men are country curates, that might have made themfelves aldermen of London, by a right improvement of a smaller fum of money than what is ufually laid out upon a learned education? a fober frugal perfon of flender parts and a flow apprehenfion, might have thrived in trade, though he ftarves upon phyfic; as a man would be well enough pleased to buy filks of one, whom he would not venture to feel his pulfe. Vagellius is careful, ftudious and obliging, but with all a little thickfculled; he has not a fingle client, but might have had abundance of customers. The misfortune is, that parentstake a liking to a particular profeffion, and therefore defire their fons may be of it. Whereas, in fo great an affair of life, they fhould confider the genius and abilities of their children more than their own inclinations.

IT is the great advantage of a trading nation, that there are very few in it fo dull and heavy, who may not be placed in ftations of life, which may give them an opportunity of making their fortunes. A well regulated commerce, is not like law, phyfic, or divinity, to be overftocked with hands; but, on the contrary, flourishes by multitudes, and gives employment to all its profeffors. Fleets of merchantmen are fo many fquadrons of floating fhops, that vend our wares and manufactures in all the markets of the world, and find out chapmen under both the tropics. C

No. 22.

Monday, March 26.

Quadcunque oftendis mihi fic, incredulus odi.

HOR. Ars Poet. v. 188.

-Whatever contradicts my fenfe

I hate to fee, and never can believe.

ROSCOMMON.

HE word SPECTATOR being moft ufually under

stood as one of the audience at public reprefentations in our theatres, I feldom fail of many letters relating to plays and operas. But indeed there are fuch monstrous things done in both, that if one had not been an eye-witnefs to them, one could not believe that fuch matters had really been exhibited. There is very little which concerns human life, or is a picture of nature, that is regarded by the greater part of the company. The understanding is difmiffed from our entertainments. Our mirth is the laughter of fools, and our admiration the wonder of idiots; elfe fuch improbable, monftrous and incoherent dreams. could not go off as they do, not only without the utmost fcorn and contempt, but even with the loudeft applause and approbation. But the letters of my correfpondents will reprefent this affair in a more lively manner than any difcourfe of my own, I fhall therefore give them to my reader with only this preparation, that they all come from players, and that the business of playing is now fo managed, that you are not to be surprised, when I fay one or two of them are rational, others fenfitive and vegetative actors, and others wholly inanimate. I shall not place these as I have named them, but as they have precedence in the opinion of their audience,

MR. SPECTATOR,

OUR having been fo humble as to take notice of the epiftles of other animals, emboldens me, who am the wild boar that was killed by Mrs. Tofts, to reprefent to you, that I think I was hardly used in not having the part of the lion in Hydafpes given to me. It would have been but a natural ftep for me to have perfonated that noble creature, after having behaved myfelf to fatif⚫ faction