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hoid numbers who were lately in full health suddenly carried off by fevers arising from Intemperance, that Hydra which devours human happiness. No longer torment yourselves, nor make your stomach, like Noah's Ark, a receptacle for every clean and unclean thing that you imagine may renovate the constitution. If you cannot be Testored by moderate exercise and a mild regimen, calmly submit to that dissolution which awaits every human being. Instead of relying wholly on the skill of feeble man, bow with resignation to the will of the Divine Physician, who can kill and makc alive!

The fallacy of empiricism has already been sufficiently animadverted on. Indeed one single reflection may serve to subvert the whole fabric of medical imposture. Had any of the proposed panas ceas invented by man been endued with universal healing virtues, all other medicines would have been totally unnecessary; and as light is supplied by the sun, the grand restorative would have supplied all mankind with health and longevity; hence there could have been no necessity to collect drugs or acquire medical knowlelge.


* Dialogue between a Quack Doctor and a SATIRIST.


Thou destroyer of man, thou vicegerent of death ;
In thy look there is jaundice, and pest in thy breath;
Depart from this Iskand, and leave us some hops
Of living our time, if you'd 'scape from the rope.*

QUACK Doctor.

Pray cease your

invective, my


spare, And in future all profits with me you shall share ; Don't


know, Sir, the mass of mankind are all

fools, Who rely upon nostrums and medical rules, To restore wasted vigour and renovate health... So whoever will promise such blessings grasps


* Dr. Brodum has taken the Satirist's advice; but whether he:hrunk into obscuity ior fear of exaltation on the gibbet, or in consequence of the decay of business, is uncert in. The Author most cordially crngratulates his patron, John Bull, on this felicitons event, he is in expecta tion that oher impostors will soon retire; and that Galawism, Perlinism, go will be treated with neglect by a disceming Publice


Whene'er I at fraudulent cunning connive,
May my small spark of life not that woment sur-

I know that the credulous oft are deceiv'd,
And impostors like you are too often believ'd;
While you violate truth, and that just law defy,
Which declares that a murderer surely shall die.


Stop, Sir, you're in error, I am a physicians
See here's my diploma, and in good condition,
It came by the coach from the North, 'pon my

And grateful am I to the generous donor ;
If that wont suffice, Sir, see here is my patent,
To cure all diseases apparent or latent :
I find you suspected I was but a poacher,
On other physicians a frontless encroacher;
But my qualification's without the least flaw,
And I kill my game fairly, according to law.


-Roses for the cheeks
And lilies for the brows of faded age ;
Teeth for the toothless, ringlets for the bald;
Heav'n, earth, and ocean, plunderd of their sweets :
Nectareous essences, Olympian dews!


NEXT to quack doctors, may be classed those beautifiers of the human countenanceThe inventors of cosmetics. Aided by the miraculous power of lotions and tinctures, new beauties reanimate the face, and we behold the roseate bloom of youth smile like morning light on the varnished visage of age.

While a superabundance of paints and lotions renovate beauty, the fair artist daily improves in taste; she guides the pencil with such skill over every line of her face, and imitates nature with such elegance, that we may soon be able to boast of female portrait painters who will excel even Sir Joshua Reynolds himself! One great advantage in favour of female genius, in this instance, is the superior texture of the skin to canvas, or any other artificial ground. It is to be regretted, however, that too many of our female artists grow negligent after marriage, and, reflecting that the portrait is sold, take lctle pairs to improve its tints ; nay, it is asserted, that they oiten become hideously deformed in a few years. This is certainly a great imperfection ; for the works of the most eminent malc artists have

nerally become more estimable in the eyes of the Connoisseur in proportion to their age.

How are we to solve this problem? It is because Nature always counteracts any violation of her precepts, th at the fair sex who assume artificial beauties, thus fall a sacrifice to their own imprudence; the ino ist would add, their IMPIETY !

One of our ethical writers says, that there are

no better cosmetics than a severe temperance and purity, modesty and humility, a gracious temper and calmness of spirit; no true beauty without the signatures of these graces in the very countenance." Such puritanical precepts might have been esteemed in the days of yore; but what woman of spirit would now submit to such philosophic self-denial ? Severe temperance, modesty, and humility, indeed! No, no, our modish fair ones are too knowing to venen Yate the slavish restrictions of morality :

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“ Hourly they give, and spend, and waste, and wear, " And think no pleasure can be bought too dear!"

In this enlightened age, the visage that time hard tinctured with a philemot hue now assumes the mellow blush of Hebe herself. Circassia sends her bloom to animate the face of English beauty; exotic blushes are imported as superior to those suffisa' sions formerly celebrated by our poets; and art, wonder-working art, is the creator of fashionable beauty. Hoary locks and wrinkles are banished from this happy metropolis : and washes, which render the ladies

ever fair, and ever young,” miy be obtained for gold. hose irresinable arms of the ladies of London:


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