I wish I was a maid again,
And in my own country.

[E.xit.

dangling after me every where, like a tantony pig 1): find some other road, can't you; and don't keep wherreting me with your nonsense: SCENE IV.-A Green, with the Prospect of Madge. Nay, pray you, Hodge, stay, and let me speak to you a bit.

Hodge. Well; what sayn you?

Madge. Dear heart, how can you be so barbarous? and is this the way you serve me after all; and won't you keep your word, Hodge? Hodge. Why no I won't, I tell you; I have chang'd my mind.

Madge. Nay but surely, surely - Consider Hodge, you are obligated in conscience to make me an honest woman.

Hodge. Obligated in conscience! How am l obligated?

Madge. Because you are; and none but the basest of rogues would bring a poor girl to shame, and afterwards leave her to the wide world.

a Village, and the Representation of a Statute or Fair.

Enter JUSTICE WOODCOCK, HAWTHORN, MRS. Deborah WOODCOCK, LUCINDA, Rosetta, young MEADOWS, HODGE, and several country People.

Hodge. This way, your worship, this way. Why don't you stand aside there? Here's his worship a coming.

I'll

a

Countrymen. His worship!

Jus. W. Fie, fie, what a crowd's this! Odd, put some of them in the stocks. [Striking Fellow] Stand out of the way, sirrah. Haw. For shame, neighbour. Well, my lad, are you willing to serve the king?

Countryman. Why, can you list me? Serve the king, master? no, no, I pay the king, that's enough for me. Ho, ho, ho!

Haw. Well said, Sturdy-boots.

Jus. W. Nay, if you talk to them, they'll answer you.

Hodge. Bring you to shame! Don't make me speak, Madge; don't make me speak. Madge. Yes do, speak your worst. Hodge. Why then, if you go to that, you were fain to leave your own village down in the west, for a bastard you had by the clerk Haw. I would have them do so, I like they of the parish, and I'll bring the man shall say should.-Well, madam, is not this a fine sight? t to your face. I did not know my neighbour's estate bad Madge. No, no, Hodge, 'tis no such thing, been so well peopled.-Are all these his own tis a base lie of farmer Ploughshare's-But I tenants?

know what makes you false-hearted to me, Mrs. D. More than are good of them, Mr. hat you may keep company with young ma- Hawthorn. I don't like to see such a parcel lam's waiting-woman; and I am sure she's of young hussies fleering with the fellows. 10 fit body for a poor man's wife. Haw. There's a lass. [Beckoning to a Hodge. How should you know what she's country Girl]-Come hither, my pretty maid. it for. She's fit for as much as you, may-What brings you here? [Chucking her under ap; don't find fault with your betters, Madge. the Chin] Do you come to look for a service?

Enter young MEADOWS.

Oh! master Thomas, I have a word or two o say to you; pray did not you go down the illage one day last week with a basket of Something upon your shoulder?

Country G. Yes, an't please you.

Haw. Well, and what place are you for?
Country G. All work, an't please you.
Jus. V. Ay, ay, I don't doubt it; any work
you'll put her to.

Mrs. D. She looks like a brazen one-Go, hussy.

Young M. Well, and what then? Hodge. Nay, not much, only the hostler at Haw. Here's another. [Catching a Girl that he Greenman was saying, as how there was goes by] What health, what bloom!- This is passenger at their house as see'd you go by, nature's work; no art, no daubing. Don't be nd said he know'd you; and axt a mort of asham'd, child; those cheeks of thine are enough questions-So I thought I'd tell you. to put a whole drawing-room out of counteYoung M. The devil! ask questions about nance. ne! I know nobody in this part of the coun- Hodge. Now, your honour, now the sport ry; there must be some mistake in it. Come will come: The gut-scrapers are here, and ither, Hodge. [Exit with Hodge. some among them are going to sing and dance. Madge. A nasty, ungrateful fellow, to use Why there's not the like of our statute, mun, ne at this rate, after being to him as I have.-in five counties; others are but fools to it. Vell, well, I wish all poor girls would take varning by my mishap, and never have nothing o say to none of them.

AIR.

How happy were my days, till now!
I ne'er did sorrow feel;
I rose with joy to milk my cow,
Or turn my spinning-wheel.
My heart was lighter than a fly,
Like any bird I sung,
Till he pretended love, and I
Believ'd his flatt'ring tongue.
Oh the fool, the silly, silly fool,
Who trusts what man may be;

1) St. Anthony's pig.

Servant-man. Come, good people, make a ring; and stand out, fellow servants, as many of you as are willing, and able, to hear a bob 1). We'll let my masters and mistresses see we can do something at least; if they won't hire us, it shan't be our fault. Strike up the Servants' Medley.

MEDLEY and CHORUS.
Housem. I pray ye, gentles, list to me:
I'm young, and strong, and clean, you see:
I'll not turn tail to any she,

For work that's in the county.
Of all your house the charge Í take,
I wash, I scrub, I brew, I bake;
And more can do than here I'll speak,
Depending on your bounty.

1) To take a part in the song.

Footm. Behold a blade, who knows his trade

In chamber, hall, and entry:
And what though here I now appear,
I've serv'd the best of gentry.
A footman would you have,

I can dress, and comb, and shave;
For I a handy lad am:

On a message I can go,
And slip a billet-doux,
With your humble servant, madam.
Cookm. Who wants a good cook, my hand
they must cross;

For plain wholesome dishes I'm ne'er at a loss;
And what are your soups, your ragouts, and
your sauce,

Compar'd to the beef of old England,
Compar'd to old English roast beef?
Cart. If you want a young man, with a
true honest heart,

Who knows how to manage plough and a

cart,

Here's one for your purpose, come take me
and try;
You'll say you ne'er met with a better nor I.
Ge ho, Dobbin, etc.
Chorus. My masters and mistresses, hither
repair;
What servants you want, you'll find in our fair;
Men and maids fit for all sorts of stations
there be;

And, as for the wages, we shan't disagree.

Luc. My father, and my aunt! Eust. The devil! What shall we do? Luc. Take no notice of them, only obser me.- -[Speaks aloud to Eustace] Upon word, sir, I don't know what to say to it, unless the justice was at home; he is just stepp'd into the village with some company; but, if you'll sit down a moment, I dare swear he will return-[Pretends to see the Justice] —O! sir, here is my papa!

Jus. W. Here is your papa, bussy! Who's this you have got with you? Hark you, sirra, who are you, ye dog? and what's your basiness here?

Eust. Sir, this is a language I am not used to. Jus. W. Don't answer me, you rascal-lan a justice of the peace; and if I hear a word out of your mouth, I'll send you to jail, for all your lac'd hat.

Mrs. D. Send him to jail, brother, that's right Jus. W. And how do you know it's right? How should you know any thing's right?– Sister Deborah, you are never in the right Mrs. D. Brother, this is the man I have been telling you about so long.

Jus. W. What man, goody Wiseacre? Mrs. D. Why the man your daughter has an intrigue with: but I hope you will not be lieve it now, though you see it with your own eyes-Come, hussy, confess, and don't let your father make a fool of himself any longer.

Luc. Confess what, aunt? This gentleman is a music-master: he goes about the country, WOOD-teaching ladies to play and sing; and has been recommended to instruct me; I could not turn him out when he came to offer his service; and did not know what answer to give him till I saw my papa.

Enter LUCINDA and EUSTACE. Luc. Well, am I not a bold adventurer, to bring you into my father's house at noon-day? Though, to say the truth, we are safer here than in the garden; for there is not a human creature under the roof besides ourselves. Eust. Then why not put our scheme into execution this moment? I have a post-chaise ready.

Luc. Fie: how can you talk so lightly? I protest I am afraid to have any thing to do with you; and my aunt Deborah says

Eust. What! by all the rapture my heart now feels

Jus. W. A music-master?

Eust. Yes, sir, that's my profession. Mrs. D. It's a lie, young man; it's a lie. Brother, he is no more a music-master, than I am a music-master.

Jus. W. What then you know better than the fellow himself, do you? and you will be wiser than all the world?

Mrs. D. Brother, he does not look like a music-master.

Jus. W. He does not look! ha! ba! ha! Was ever such a poor stupe! Well, and what Luc. Oh, to be sure, promise and vow; it does he look like, then? But I suppose you sounds prettily, and never fails to impose upon mean he is not dressed like a music-master. a fond female. Why, you silly wretch, these whipper-snappers Eust. Well, I see you've a mind to divert set up for gentlemen now-a-days, and give yourself with me; but I wish I could prevail themselves as many airs as if they were people on you to be a little serious. of quality.-Hark you, friend, I suppose

Luc. Seriously then, what would you desire you don't come within the vagrant act? You me to say? I have promised to run away with have some settled habitation-Where do you you; which is as great a concession as any live?

reasonable lover can expect from his mistress. Mrs. D. It's an easy matter for him to tell Eust. Yes; but, you dear provoking angel, you a wrong place. you have not told me when you will run away with me.

Luc. Why that, I confess, requires some consideration.

Eust. Yet remember, while you are deliberating, the season, now so favourable to us, may elapse, never to return.

Enter JUSTICE WOODCOCK and MRS. DEBO-
RAH WOODCOCK.

Jus. W. Hoity-toity; who have we here?

Jus. W. Sister Deborah, don't provoke me. Mrs. D. I wish, brother, you would let me examine him a little.

Jus. W. You shan't say a word to him, you shan't say a word to him.

Mrs. D. She says he was recommended here, brother; ask him by whom.

Jus. W. No, I won't now, because you desire it.

Luc. If my papa did ask the question, sunt, it would be very easily resolved.

Mrs. D. Who bid you speak, Mrs. Nimble-| 1ops? I suppose the man has a tongue in s head to answer for himself.

Then hoity-toity,

Whisking, frisking,

Green was her gown upon the grass; Jus. W. Will nobody stop that prating old Oh! such were the joys of our dancing days. oman's mouth for me? Get out of the room. Eust. Very well, sir, upon my word. Mrs. D. Well, so I can, brother; I don't Jus. W. No, no, I forget all those things ant to stay: but, remember, I tell you, you now; but I could do a little at them once;ill make yourself ridiculous in this affair: Well, stay and eat your dinner, and we'll or through your own obstinacy, you will have talk about your teaching the girl-Lucy, take our daughter run away with, before your face. your master to your spinnet, and show him Jus. W. My daughter! who will run away what you can do-I must go and give some ith my daughter? orders; then hoity-toity, etc. [Exit. Luc. My sweet, pretty papa, your most obedient humble servant; ha, ha, ha! was ever so whimsical an accident? Well, sir, what do you think of this?

Mrs. D. That fellow will.

Jus. W. Go, go, you are a wicked, censo

ious woman.

Luc. Why sure, madam, you must think e very forward, indeed.

Eust. Think of it! I am in amaze.

Jus. W. Ay, she judges of others by herself; Luc. O your awkwardness! I was frightenremember when she was a girl, her mother ed out of my wits, lest you should not take ared not trust her the length of her apron- the hint; and, if I had not turned matters so tring; she was clambering upon every fel-cleverly, we should have been utterly undone. ow's back.

Mrs. D. I was not.

Jus. W. You were.

Luc. Well, but why so violent?

AIR.

Believe me, dear aunt,
If you rave thus and rant,
You'll never a lover persuade;
The men will all fly,
And leave you to die,

Oh, terrible chance! an old maid.

How happy the lass,

Must she come to this pass,

Who ancient virginity 'scapes!
"Twere better on earth

Have five brats at a birth,
Than in hell be a leader of apes.
[Exit Mrs. D.
Jus. W. Well done, Lucy, send her about
her business; a troublesome, foolish creature,
does she think I want to be directed by her?
-Come hither, my lad, you look tolerable
honest.

Eust. 'Sdeath! why would you bring me into the house? we could expect nothing else: besides, since they did surprise us, it would have been better to have discovered the truth.

Luc. Yes, and never have seen one another afterwards. I know my father better than you, do; he has taken it into his head I have no inclination for a husband; and let me tell you that is our best security; for if once he has said a thing, he will not be easily persuaded to the contrary.

Eust. And pray what am I to do now?

Luc. Why, as I think all danger is pretty well over, since he hath invited you to dinner with him, stay; only be cautious of your be haviour; and, in the mean time, I will consider what is next to be done.

Eust. Had not I better go to your father? Luc. Do so, while I endeavour to recover myself a little out of the flurry this affair has put me in. [Exeunt.

SCENE II.-4A Garden. Enter ROSETTA, musing. Ros. If ever poor creature was in a pitiable Eust. I hope, sir, I shall never give you condition, surely I am. The devil take this cause to alter your opinion. fellow, I cannot get him out of my head; and Jus. W. No, no, I am not easily deceived, yet I would fain persuade myself I don't care I am generally pretty right in my conjectures. for him: well, but surely I am not in love: -You must know, I had once a little notion let me examine my heart a little: I saw him of music myself, and learned upon the fiddle; kissing one of the maids the other day; I could I could play the Trumpet Minuet, and But-have boxed his ears for it, and have done tered Peas, and two or three tunes. I remem- nothing but find fault and quarrel with the ber, when I was in London, about thirty years girl ever since. Why was I uneasy at his ago, there was a song, a great favourite at toying with another woman? what was it to our club at Nando's Coffee-house; Jack Pickle me? Then I dream of him almost every night used to sing it for us, a droll fish! but 'tis an-but that may proceed from his being geneold thing, I dare swear you have heard of it rally uppermost in my thoughts all day:-Oh! worse and worse!-Well, he is certainly a pretty lad; he has something uncommon about When I followed a lass that was froward him, considering his rank:-And now let me

often.

AIR.

and shy,
Oh! I stuck to her stuff, till I made her
comply;
Oh! I took her so lovingly round the waist,
And I smack'd her lips and held her fast:

When hugg'd and haul'd,
She squeal'd and squall'd;
But, though she vow'd all I did was in vain,
Yet I pleas'd her so well that she bore it
again:

only put the case, if he was not a servant, would 1, or would 1 not, prefer him to all the men I ever saw? Why, to be sure, if he was not a servant-In short, I'll ask myself no more questions, for the further I examine, the less reason I shall have to be satisfied.

A IR.

How bless'd the maid, whose bosom
No headstrong passion knows;

Her days in joy she passes, Her nights in calm repose. Where'er her fancy leads her, No pain, no fear invades her; But pleasure,

Without measure,

From every object flows.

Enter Young MEADOWS.

Ros.

When things are not fit,
We should calmly submit;
No cure in reluctance we find:

Young M. Then thus I obey,

Tear your image away,

And banish you quite from my mind.

Ros. Well, now I think I am somewhat easier: I am glad I have come to this explaYoung M. Do you come into the garden, nation with him, because it puts an end to Mrs. Rosetta, to put my lilies and roses out things at once. of countenance; or, to save me the trouble of

Young M. Hold, Mrs. Rosetta, pray stay a watering my flowers, by reviving them? The moment-The airs this girl gives herself are sun seems to have hid himself a little, to give intolerable: I find now the cause of her beyou an opportunity of supplying his place. haviour; she despises the meanness of my conRos. Where could he get that now? he dition, thinking a gardener below the notice never read it in the Academy of Compliments. of a lady's waiting-woman; 'sdeath, I have a Young M. Come, don't affect to treat me good mind to discover myself to her. with contempt; I can suffer any thing better Ros. Poor wretch! he does not know what than that. In short, I love you; there is no to make of it: I believe he is heartily mortimore to be said: I am angry with myself for fied, but I must not pity him. it, and strive all I can against it; but, in spite of myself, I love you.

Ros. Really, Mr. Thomas, this is very improper language; it is what I don't understand; can't suffer it, and, in short, I don't like it. Young M. Perhaps you don't like me? Ros. Well, perhaps I don't.

Young M. Nay, hut 'tis not so; come, confess you love me.

Young M. It shall be so: I will discover myself to her, and leave the house directlyMrs. Rosetta-[Starting back]—Plague on it, yonder's the justice come into the garden!

way:

Ros. O Lord! he will walk round this pray go about your business; I would not for the world he should see us together.

Young M. The devil take him; he's gone across the parterre, and can't hobble here this half hour: I must and will have a little con

Ros. Confess! indeed I shall confess no such thing besides, to what purpose should I con-versation with you. fess it?

Ros. Some other time.

Young M. This evening, in the greenhouse, at the lower end of the canal; I have some thing to communicate to you of importance. Will you meet me there?

Bos. Meet/you!

Young M. Ay; I have a secret to tell you, and I swear, from that moment, there shall be an end of every thing betwixt us.

Young M. Why, as you say, I don't know to what purpose; only, it would be a satisfaction to me to hear you say so; that's all. Ros. Why, if I did love you, I can assure you, you would never be the better for itWomen are apt enough to be weak! we cannot always answer for our inclinations, but it is in our power not to give way to them; and if I was so silly, I say if I was so indiscreet, which I hope I am not, as to entertain an improper regard, when people's circumstances are quite unsuitable, and there are obstacles in the way that cannot be surmountedYoung M. Oh! to be sure, Mrs. Rosella, to be sure: you are entirely in the right of itI know very well you and I can never come let me desire you to believe, I love you more together. than ever man loved woman; and that when Ros. Well then, since that is the case, as I relinquish you, I give up all that can make I assure you it is, I think we had better be- my life supportable.

have accordingly.

Young M. Suppose we make a bargain, then, never to speak to one another any more? Ros. With all my heart.

Young M. Nor look at, nor if possible think of, one another?

Ros. I am very willing.

Young M. And as long as we stay in the house together, never to take any notice? Ros. It is the best way.

Young M. Why, I believe it is-Well, Mrs. Rosetta

Ros.

-

DUET T.

Be gone-I agree;

From this moment we're free;
Already, the matter I've sworn:
Young M. Yet let me complain

Of the fates that ordain-
A trial so hard to be borne.

Ros. Well, well, pray leave me now.
Young M. You'll come then?
Ros. I don't know, perhaps I may.
Young M. Nay, but promise.

Ros. What signifies promising; I may break my promise-but, I tell you, I will.

Young M. Enough-Yet, before I leave you,

Jus. W. Ay, where are you running so fast? Ros. I was only going into the house, sir. Jus. W. Well, but come here; come here, I say. [Looking about] How do you do, Rosetta?

Ros. Thank you, sir, pretty well.

Jus. W. Why you look as fresh and bloomy to-day-Adad, you little slut, I believe you are painted.

Ros. O sir! you are pleased to compliment.
Jus. W. Adad, I believe you are - let me try-
Ros. Lord, sir!

Ros. Won't you, sir?

Jus. W. Not I.

Ros. But won't you indeed, sir?
Jus. W. Why I tell you I won't.
Ros. Ha, ha, ha!

Jus. W. Hussy, hussy!

Ros. Ha, ha, ha!-Your servant, sir, your servant.

[Exit. Jus. W. Why, you impudent, audaciousEnter HAWTHORN.

Haw. So, so, justice at odds with gravity!

Jus. W. Ha! friend Hawthorn!

Haw. I hope I don't spoil sport, neighbour: thought I had the glimpse of a petticoat as came in here.

Jus. W. What brings you into this garden his worship playing at romps!-Your servant, so often, Rosetta? I hope you don't get eating sir. fruit and trash; or have you a hankergreen ing after some lover in dowlass, who spoils my trees by engraving truelovers'-knots on them, I with your horn- and buck-handled knives? II see your name written upon the ceiling of the servants'-ball, with the smoke of a candle; and I suspect—

Jus. W. Oh! the maid. Ay, she has been gathering a sallad-But come hither, master Hawthorn, and I'll show you some alterations Ros. Not me, I hope, sir-No, sir, I am of I intend to make in my garden. another guess mind, assure you; for I have Haw. No, no, I am no judge of it; besides, heard say, men are false and fickleI want to talk to you a little more about this

Jus. W. Ay, that's your flaunting, idle,-Tell me, sir Justice, were you helping your young fellows; so they are: and they are so maid to gather a sallad here, or consulting damn'd impudent, I wonder a woman will her taste in your improvements, eh? Ha, ha, have any thing to say to them; besides, all ha! Let me see, all among the roses; 'egad, Í that they want is something to brag of, and like your notion: but you look a little blank tell again. upon it: you are ashamed of the business then, are you?

Ros. Why I own, sir, if ever I was to make a slip, it should be with an elderly gentleman -about seventy, or seventy-five years of age. Jus. W. No, child, that's out of reason; though I have known many a man turned of threescore with a hale constitution.

Ros. Then, sir, he should be troubled with the gout, have a good, strong, substantial, winter cough-and I should not like him the worse-if he had a small touch of the rheumatism.

Jus. W. Pho, pho, Rosetta, this is jesting. Ros. No, sir; every body has a taste, and I have mine.

Jus. W. Well but, Rosetta, have you thought of what I was saying to you?

Ros. What was it, sir?

Jus. W. Ah, you know, you know well enough, hussy.

Ros. Dear sir, consider what has a poor servant to depend on but her character? And I have heard you gentlemen will talk one thing before, and another after.

Jus. W. I tell you again, these are the idle, flashy, young dogs: but when you have to do with a staid, sober man

Ros. And a magistrate, sir?

Jus. W. Right; it's quite a different thing
—Well, shall we, Rosetta, shall we?
Ros. Really, sir, I don't know what to say

to it.

AIR.

Young I am, and sore afraid :
Would you hurt a harmless maid?
Lead an innocent astray?
Tempt me not, kind sir, I pray.
Men too often we believe;
And, should you my faith deceive,
Ruin first, and then forsake,

Sure my tender heart would break.
Jus. W. Why, you silly girl, I won't do
you any harm.

AIR.

Oons! neighbour, ne'er blush for a trifle like this;

What harm with a fair one to toy and to kiss?

The greatest and gravest-a truce with gri

mace

Would do the same thing, were they in the same place.

No age, no profession, no station is free; To sovereign beauty mankind bends the knee: That power, resistless, no strength can oppose, We all love a pretty girl-under the rose. Jus. W. I profess, master Hawthorn, this is all Indian, all Cherokee language to me; I don't understand a word of it.

Haw. No, may be not: well, sir, will you read this letter, and try whether you can understand that? it is just brought by a servant, who stays for an answer.

Jus. W. A letter, and to me? [Taking the Letter] Yes, it is to me; and yet I am sure it comes from no correspondent that I know of. Where are my spectacles? not but I can see very well without them, master Hawthorn; but this seems to be a sort of a crabbed hand. [Reads.

Sir, I am ashamed of giving you this trouble; but I am informed there is an unthinking boy, a son of mine, now disguised and in your service, in the capacity of a gardener:-Tom is a little wild, but an honest lad, and no fool either, though I am his father that say it. Tom-oh, this is Thomas, our gardener; I always thought that he was a better man's child than he appeared to be, though I never mentioned it.

Haw. Well, well, sir, pray let's hear the rest of the letter.

97