! cribe the house and grounds of this statesman, communicate with his "fairy queen," as I have as represented in the drawing. The building no doubt he often called her. It was this. itself is of two storries, built in a queer Chinese The current of the river he found, by accidently fashion, or perhaps better described by saying dropping a piece of wood in it, would carry it is like that curious affair of red-brick highly any floating substance immediately beneath ornamented with gingerbread-work, on Front- the windows of his charmer. So scribbling a street, a few rods east of the old garrison,-note, he entrusted it to a little ark which like it, also, it has a verandah in front with a swept on as gallantly to its destination, as the terrace. About the house are growing beauti- Royal Mail Cunard line does itself to New York. ful and rare trees, the most conspicuous of Our heroine saw the tiny vessel floating on which are a willow in blossom, and the twen- towards her, and thinking it might be a toy ty-ounce pippin, specimens of which are likely some neighbor's child might have lost, hasto be found in Mr. Leslie's nursery garden tened down and grabbednear Toronto. Before the house runs a high wooden fence, zig-zag in shape, much like our common snake fences in the country. This fence was built by the statesman who, discovering that his daughter and late secretary cerresponded, and had occasional interviews, determined to exclude his daughter as much as possible from the presence of the profanum vulgus, and had the gate secured by one of Hobb's patent locks, which he considered safer than Bramah's, for Bramah's had been picked lately by the Yankee. MAJOR. But, Doctor, it strikes me that you are romancing a great deal, or you can see further into a mile-stone than most men. How could you detect Hobb's on the gate.? MAJOR.-Oh, Doctor! Caught! MAJOR.-Ha, ha, ha! You are curious, DOCTOR.-As she was a discreet damsel, she hid the letter in her bosom, and hurried to her room to read in private. It was something as follows: "As towards thee my bark sails, so to thee my thoughts tend; and as the flowers fade and blossoms fall, so will your faithful lover droop and be seen no more. "P.S.-Let your thoughts float and I'll read your words in the stream!” DOCTOR —Prithee, Major, let me tell my This was too good a chance to be lost; so story my own way. The painting is an admi-, seizing a pen, she replied by way of encour rable one, and you must suffer me to enlarge agement :-"Does a farmer allow his fruits to a little or you will not understand it. The be plucked by another? The fruit you most daughter, who was thus cut off, as it were, prize is ripe. Take care lest another enjoys from the world, pined away; the bloom from it ;" and placing this precious epistle in the her cheek had fled, and the sunken eye proclaimed the misery she was enduring. The statesman, who was in his way a kind and tender father, caused to be built a suit of apartments and a large banquet room to the left of his mansion, for his daughter's accomodation. The building jutted out over the water, which skirted his demesnes. Here the daughter moped in solitude, attended by an old duenna, who supplied the place of her maid and confidante. She was also told to prepare for marriage with an old but rich and powerful suitor who solicited the honor of her hand from her father, which honor on his part was willingly granted, for it secured him from further trouble on his daughter's part, and her a rich husband, alike honorable in years and fame. LAIRD. The cruel beastie, to wed the tender plant to the vile old sinner. [The Major's eyes twinkled, but not with suppressed tears; there was a cunningness about them when he muttered, sotto voce, "I've seen the plate."] DOCTOR.-The secretary, who from the opposite side of the river had watched the proceedings of the statesman, and had even seen our heroine at a window, looking out over the water, in the banquetting house, bethought himself of an expedient whereby he might same conveyance, entrusted it the waters. Her lover's delight and fears were at the same time excited by this document, and he replied shortly that he would secure his own, or "perish in the attempt." Time, of course, is supposed to wave on, and the statesman gave a grand feast in honor of his daughter's nuptials with her suitor, which were to take place one summer's eve. The father at this feast got intoxicated, but her suitor was much worse. In the midst of the entertainment who should enter but the secretary in disguise. He made himself known to his faithful lady love, and they agreed to fly at once; she also gave him a ten-pound note presented her by her suitor as a bridal present; this he put in his pocket. They had barely left the house when the father, suspecting that all was not right, looked for his daughter, and saw her running across the lawn towards a bridge which spanned the river, followed by his late secretary. He pursued them. The three figures are admirably depicted crossing the bridge, foremost of them is the daughter, next the lover with her bundle, and last, the father with a whip, which the daughter knew would be well applied if taken. The countenances of these characters, which oc cupy the foreground in the printing, are masterpieces in themselves, an expression of love readers of the Anglo, whether they would be so apt to be sold. However, we must not neglect our sederunt. What is there to chat about? Have any of you dipped into the third part of Lord John Russell's "Memoirs, Journal, and Correspondence of Thomas Moore?" MAJOR.-I have done more, oh son of Esculapius, I have positively devoured it! LAIRD.-Wonders will never cease! I would hae opined that ony thing coming frae the pen o' the wee Whig Lordie, would hae destroyed your digestion. MAJOR.-Silence, Laird, and jump not thus at conclusions, as if you were making a leap over one of the rail fences of Bonnie braes! I do not dislike Russell the less, but only love Anacreon Tom the more! blended with fear characterizes the faces of the lovers, while hate, mingled with rage, indicates the father. I will merely add that the lovers succeeded in escaping, but their troubles are not yet ended. To the extreme left of the picture at the foot of the bridge is delineated a humble cottage, where the loving pair resided for a few years in happiness and safety, living on money obtained by her taking in washing and sewing. At last they were discovered by the outraged father, who ordered the police to take them in custody for the theft of his money. But, happily, they succeeded in making their escape; and may be seen in the painting, sailing down the river in a small covered boat. They land on an island at some distance from their former home, represented also in the plate to the left; here the young couple resolve to spend the rest of their days in peace. The secretary for a subsistence devotes himself to agricultural pursuits, and resolves to write a work on the potato rot. This book, though meriting great praise, unfortunately reveals to the statesman the locale of his son-in-law. He again orders the police after them, and they are surprised. In the scuffle which ensues the secretary is killed, and his wife in despair sets fire to the house and perishes in the flames. (The Laird heaves a deep-drawn sigh.) The gods, in pity for the misfortunes of the unhappy couple, change them into turtle doves, and they may be seen at the top of the plate billing and coo-ings? ing with each LAIRD (intensely indignant).—Hau'd, hau'd, hau'd, man; d'ye mean to run yer rigs, gammoning auld chiels sic as us wi' yer senseless stuff, telling sic a lang rigmarole about a common crockery plate, sic as Grizzy an' I have eaten aff these last fifty years? Ye ought to know better, ye young deevil, an' you a doctor, too! Ye are'na worthy o' a seat in oor Shanty. Major, let us vote him out. MAJOR.-No, no; I saw the joke, though not at first, and considered it would have been unkind, especially as you were so earnest about it, to undeceive you. DOCTOR (interrupts)-What a horrid pun. MAJOR-Most fortunately Lord John has the good sense to let Erin's sweetest warbler, have all the speaking to himself on this occasion, and of a verity, he discourseth most appetizing matter, though occasionally, over-strongly tainted with the mouldyness of liberalism. DOCTOR-Crab tree! I protest against these outbreaks of fossil Toryism at this board.— You are enough to drive a rational reformer like myself, into the embraces of red republicanism! LAIRD.-And a bonny armfu, the randy would get! But touching Tummas, will you favour us, Major, with some o' his sappy say MAJOR.-With great pleasure. I shall read you off a bundle of amusing ana, worthy of John Wesley himself. NO ACCOUNTING FOR TASTES. "A cloddish beau, who could not speak a word of decent English, joined us, with a little footman in gaudy livery, of whom be seemed to be more careful than if it had been his wife; had him inside the coach, and brought him into the same room with us at supper,-a footman evidently a new circumstance to him. This dandy found me out by the name on my trunk, and my having said I lived some time in Leicestershire-proved to be the son of the extraordinary man alluded to by Southey in his Espriella letters, who had a museum of the ropes in which various malefactors had been hanged, all ticketted and hung in order round his room. If I recollect right, South LAIRD.-Ye are as bad as the Doctor, Major. I'll gang to Mrs. Grundy, and tell her yer tricks. (Exit Laird, who almost immediately returns, holding in his hands a "willowpattern plate.") Weel, weel (laughing), Doc-y says his own ought to have completed the coltor, I forgie ye. But tell me, noo, what made ye think o' sic a trick. DOCTOR.-Well, Laird, the other day, as I was passing Pell's picture-shop, I saw in the window an engraving of this plate, which was presented and inscribed by Mr. Punch to his readers. This plate also called to my mind a tale which I had read many years back somewhere, and I thought it would be an excellent joke if I could give you a free and easy version of it, without your guessing my object; that I succeeded I can see very well, but I question much, if it were related to the lection. He was, notwithstanding this ferocious taste, a poor, weak, squeaking, unmanly mannered old creature; for I knew him a little." LEFT HANDED COMPLIMENT. "A good story in Mrs. C.'s "Memoirs" of Stephen Kemble, who sleeping at an inn in a country town, was wakened about daybreak by a strange figure, a dwarf, standing by his bed in extraordinary attire. Kemble raised himself up in the bed, and questioned the figure, which said "I am a dwarf, as you perceive; I am come to exhibit at the fair to-morrow, and I have mistaken the bed chamber; I suppose you are a giant come for the same purpose." "Mentioned a tolerably fair punning jeu-d'es "A gentleman told a punning epigram of Jekyl's upon an old lady being brought forward as a wit-prit, written by one of his friends, upon an attempt aess to prove a tender made: "Garrow, forbear! that tough old jade Can never prove a tender maid." SHERIDAN'S ORATORY AND HABITS. "In speaking of Sheridan's eloquence, Lord H. said that the over-strained notions he had of perfection were very favourable to his style of oratory in giving it a certain elevation of tone and dignity of thought. Mr. Fox thought his Westminister Hall speech, trumpery, and used to say it spoiled the style of Burke, who was delighted with it. Certainly in the report I have read of it, it seems most trashy bombast. At Holland House, where he was often latterly, Lady H. told me he used to take a bottle of wine and a book up to bed with him always; the former alone intended for use. In the morning he breakfasted in bed, and had a little rum or brandy with his tea or coffee; made his appearance between one and two, and pretending important business, used to set out for town, but regularly stopped at the Adam and Eve public-house for a dram. There was indeed a long bill run up by him at the Adam and Eve, which Lord H. had to pay." THE WAVERLEY NOVELS. made by a Mr. Aikin to speak a prologue at a "Aikin says Hardy prompts not loud enough; Hardy was aikin (aching) for the speaker's sake." "Reminded me of the night she saw me as Mungo, at a masquerade at Lady Besborough's. Told her this was the last folly I had been guilty of in the masquerading way. Brought to my mind a pun I had made in her hearing that night. Lady Clare said, "I am always found out at a masquerade." "That shows," answered I, "you are not the clair-obscure." A BATCH OF CONUNDRUMS. "Some tolerable conundrums mentioned by the ladies:-"Why is the Prince of Homburg like a successful gamester?-Because he has 'Why doesn't U go out gained a great Bet." will beat P in a race to the end of the alphabet, like a man asking for one sort of tobacco, and getting some other?-Because it is wrong to back O (tobacco.") Why must a man who commits murder in Leicester Square, necessarily be acquitted?-Because he can prove an alley by (alibi.") to dinner with the rest of the alphabet? Because it always comes after T." "What are the only two letters of the alphabet that have eyes? A and B, because A B C (see) D." I mentioned "Talked of the Scotch novels. When Wilkie, one or two of Beresford's (author of the "Miserthe painter, was taking his portraits of Scott's ies of Human Life,") most ludicrously far-fetched. family, the eldest daughter said to him, "We"Why is a man who bets on the letter O that it don't know what to think of those novels. We have access to all papa's papers. He has no particular study; writes everything in the midst of us all; and yet we never have seen a single scrap of the MS. of any of these novels; but still we have one reason for thinking them his, and that is, that they are the only works published in Scothand of which copies are not presented to papa." The reason against is stronger than the reason for: Scott gave his honour to the Prince Regent they were not his; and Rogers heard him do the same to Sheridan, who asked him, with some degree of brusquerie, whether he was the author of them. All this rather confirms me in my first idea, that they are not Scott's." JOSEPH ADDISON. "Addison, according to the tradition of Holland House, used, when composing, to walk up and down the long gallery there, with a bottle of wine at each end of it, which he finished during the operation. THE "QUARTERLY" AND "BLACKWOOD." "Made, while I walked, the following stanza the of a song supposed to be sung by Murray to tune of the "Christening of Little Joey," at grand literary dinner which he gives: "Beware, ye bards of each degree, From Wordsworth down to Packwood; Your hollow noddle crack would; I'll fib you in the "Quarterly," "So tremble, bards of each degree," &c., &c. a BON-MOTS. 'Tierney mentioned two bon-mots of Mr. Pitt: one was his adding to Sir W. Curtis's toast ("A speedy peace and soon,") 'soon, if possible;" and the other, his answer to some militia or yeomanry commander, who reminded him that they had stipulated never to quit the country,"Never," said Pitt, "except in case of actual invasion." I also mentioned Sir. W. Curtis's conundrum, "Why is a towel like a serpent?— Because it's a wiper." A blunder told of some Irishman, whose wife's brother was heir to a large fortune, saying, "If my wife had been her brother, what a large fortune," &c. &c. A PRIZE FIGHT. "Breakfasted with Davies at seven. Walked to Jackson's house in Grosvenor Street; a very neat establishment for a boxer. Were off in our The THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON, "A good thing of Madame De Staèl's about the Duke of Wellington, that "there never was so great a man, made out of such small materials." DOCTOR.-Some of these are very fair, but the book is not all made up of such light material. gave me some sort of interest in the contest. The the new club, have not already joined, to bething altogether not so horrid as I expected. come members. For their information I may Turner's face was a good deal de-humanised, but say, that the members are elected by ballot at Randall (the conqueror) had hardly a scratch. the monthly meetings-first Monday in the The battle lasted two hours and twenty-two min-month. It is not necessary to be a boat owner utes; a beautiful sunshine broke out at this part to become a member, and those who are fond of the day; and had there been a proportionate of a sail and do not belong to any boat, will mixture of women in the immense ring formed find that it is understood by the boat owners, around, it would have been a very brilliant spec- when not full (I beg you clearly to understand tacle. The pigeons let off at different periods of the fight, with dispatches, very picturesque; at I do not allude to any of the dinner arrangethe close, as many as half a dozen took wing. It ments) to take out members to sail, in preferseems they are always sure messengers, unless ence to others. Lucky is the man, dear Anglo, they happen to meet with a hawk." who gets a sail in some of the boats-you who are fond of the tit bits, will find some capital eating. I know you are Goth enough not to touch pnnch, but there is always plenty of water to be had. Don't let the public imagine that all the yachts carry professional cooks, but this I say, some of the boats, and owners, too, are to be remembered for hospitality and, as Paddy would say, "the hoight av good aitin' and drinking." I must not say much more about these matters, else the club boats will not be sufficient to carry the members. You, my gastronomic friend, must come to our next monthly meeting, and see how much harmony prevails in Toronto in yachting matters. For the information of yourself I mention that I don't think there is any rule against smoking. As you will perceive, by my statement of the number of yachts and boats, we are not to be despised. We have petitioned the Corporation to allow us a bay or dock to moor our summer hauser in, when the Esplanade is built, and we have every hope that they will accede to our prayer. Between ourselves, I can tell you that in the event of such people being required--there are some in our club who know the starboard from the larboard tack, and in the event of anybody coming to take Canada away from us, we could puzzle them sadly with our little yachts and duck-guns off the bar;-and talking of war, I will conclude by hoping, MAJOR.-By no means; the light ana serve only to give piquancy to the rest of the work, which I recommend to your notice. DOCTOR.-It was my intention to read it, when I found out from you how far it was worth my while. Here is a letter of invitation which I have just received. Will you hear it? MAJOR.-By all means. DEAR ANGLO, Old Winter's days for '53 are numbered, and our glorious Spring is striving right heartily to push the frosty old chap on one side to have her watch on deck, and to steer us into bright summer days, so full of enjoyment. Our sketch of the yacht sailing is, perhaps, premature, but ere long we hope to see "Studious of fame our gallant Commodore, Hoist his red pendant and forsake the shore." And a Commodore of the right sort leads the Toronto Yacht Club for '53, in a new boat, -built by Mr. Hayes-which is a credit to the city. As our worthy Commodore has not officially notified his rig to the Secretary, I have taken the liberty (in my sketch) to rig him, knowing that his usual good humour will excuse the liberty. Our club, Mr. Anglo-American, consists of a Commodore, Vice-Commodore, Captain, and, though last not least, a Secretary and Treasurer. These constitute the officers, the members are ad libitum, and judging from the members who have joined up to the present time, I think we will have a right jolly club, and well supported-the present title of the club, I am sorry to say, does not include the term 'Royal,' but a petition has been sent through the Governor and Sir J. Graham to the Queen, beseeching her to honor us by Royalizing our club, so don't be surprised, Mr. Anglo, to see gentlemen walking in our streets in blue jackets and brass (not bone) buttons with a crown, and T.R.Y.C. below. It is to be hoped that our sketch, and slight description may induce those boating men who, from ignorance of the formation of "As on the land the Royal oak doth reign, I am, dear Anglo, in faith yours, MAJOR.-I hope the club will succeed. There could scarcely be a finer basin than Toronto harbor: and when tired of confinement a stretch into the lake is always before them. By the bye, speaking of the Harbour reminds me that you promised to get up a short account of the Harbour to accompany our engraving. DOCTOR.-Here it is. [Doctor reads.] Toronto Harbour is nearly circular. On the south it is bounded by a long narrow strip of sand, formed by the action of the waves of Lake Ontario, aided by the current from the river Don. The Peninsula is about six or seven miles long, curving on itself opposite the old garrison, at its western end it is broad and studded with numerous small bays and lakes, the resort of many varieties of wild fowl. At the eastern extremity is a large marsh, which renders that locality famous for its fevers and agues. Many years ago the Island, as it is called, was covered with forest trees, but these have been nearly all cut away a fact to be deplored for two reasons: firstly, had the trees been left the sands which sweep and driftacross, to and fro, from Lake to Bay and from Bay to Lake, would be in a great measure arrested, and the ponds in the broader portion of the peninsula gradually filled up, converting the whole into a large and beautiful natural park, which would be a resort at all seasons to the weary citizen who, tired of the hot and dusty streets of the town, would seek refuge for a few hours in this cool and shady spot. Secondly, the peninsula in its weakest parts would be strengthened and enabled better to resist the storms of the Lake.--Nature is ever the best architect, and we must be careful when we attempt to improve on her, lest our presumption be punished by destruction. The hollow stalk of straw has taught the builder a most important lesson, and the bee has solved a problem that puzzled our most acute mathematicians for years! Yet no one can say that the nature of the straw, or the instinct of the bee is superior to the organization or the intellectual endowments of man. We must beware, lest placing too much confidence in ourselves and our own opinions, we fall into error, and so allow the humble insect or a common plant to excel us in the adaptation of a means to an end. our American neighbors quietly took possession of them, and burnt the useless houses; they doubtless served a better purpose in their hands than ever they did in ours. Another incident we must relate in the history of our Peninsula,-two gun-boats, large and handsome vessels they were, were built at the mouth of the river Humber; one fine afternoon they were rowed over to Gibraltar Point, in ten minutes hauled up on the sand, a small shanty built over them, and there they were left till they rotted. They served, however, one good purpose,-many were the picnics held in those days on this Point, and the young ladies and their attendents always found a pleasant little habitation to lunch in during the heat of the day, or to retreat to from a passing shower. We will now give Sir Richard Bonnycastle's first impressions on landing in Toronto; perhaps his remarks, though written more than ten years ago, may not be inapplicable to the present state of affairs:-"When we first approach the capital of any strange country, our imagination, notwithstanding the nil admirari which travel more or less imparts, naturally pictures forth all sorts of ideas; and when we consider that, in visiting Toronto, we come to a city which has started into existence within thirty years, we are naturally eager to examine it and its history closely. Accordingly, I watched the shores of its great pear-shaped bay, or harbour, lined with buildings on the north, and a barren sand on the south, finished by a stagnant marsh on the east, with intense interest, as the steamer wended its way to the inconvenient wharves, placed almost at the extremity of the port. "Our landing, on a narrow decaying pier, jostled, as it were, almost into the water, by rude carters plying for hire on its narrow bounds, and pestered by crowds of equally rude pliers for hotel preferences, gave us no very exalted notions of the grandeur or the police of Toronto. * * * Piers of rotten planks, neariy on a level with the water, and without gas, or any other lights, must create, as they indeed do, not merely great inconvenience, but loss of life." But to retuan to our harbor. Bouchette says, "It fell to my lot to make the first survey of York (Toronto) Harbor, in 1793. I was at that period in the naval service on the lakes, and the survey of Toronto Harbor was intrusted by his Excellency to my performance. I still distinctly recollect the untamed aspect which the country exhibited when first I entered the beautiful basin, which thus became the scene of my early hydrographical operations. Dense and trackless forests lined the margin of the Lake and reflected their inverted images in its glassy surface. The wandering savage had constructed his ephemeral habitation beneath their luxuriant foliage, and the bay and neigh-the "good people?" boring marshes were the hitherto uninvaded haunts of immense coveys of wildfowl: indeed, they were so abundant as in some measure to annoy us during the night." Before the war of '12, '13 and '14 the government erected a blockhouse on Gibraltar Point, also some storehouses for the storage of implements of husbandry sent out by the home government, for the use of settlers. The storehouses were encumbered with these tools for years, not one of them having been used or disposed of as intended. During the war LAIRD.-What wee book is that at your elbow, Crabtree, dressed in green, like ane o' MAJOR.-An exceedingly modest and readable Journal of an African Cruise, written by Horatio Bridge, U.S. Navy, edited by Nathaniel Hawthorn, published by George P. Putnam, and vended by Thomas Maclear. DOCTOR.-It is readable, you say? MAJOR.-Eminently so. The author is refreshingly free from the disease of "fine writ ing," and tells history in a simple, commonsense manner, which contrasts creditably with the florid tone, too frequently aped by literary blue jackets. |