Vit. 'Would that were possible; but, alas,
'tis not:

Yet this assure yourself, most-honour'd Clara,
I'll not infringe an article of breath

My vow hath offer'd t' you; nor from this
part

Whilst it hath edge, or point, or I a heart.

[Exit. Clara. Oh, leave me living!-What new exercise

Is crept into my breast, that blancheth clean

My former nature? I begin to find

I am a woman, and must learn to fight
A softer sweeter battle than with swords.
I'm sick methinks; but the disease I feel
Pleaseth, and punisheth. I warrant, love
Is very like this, that folks talk of so;
I skill not what it is, yet sure e'en here,
E'en in my heart, I sensibly perceive
It glows, and riseth like a glimmering flame,
But know not yet the essence on't, nor uame.
[Exit.

ACT III.

Malr.

SCENE I.

Eater Malroda and Alguazier.

HE

E must not? nor he shall not?
who shall let him?
[dom!

[wit,

You, politick Diego, with your face of wis-
Don Birt! The pox upon your aphorisms,
Your grave and sage-ale physiognomy!
Do not I know thee for the Alguazier,
Whose dunghill all the parish scavengers
Could never rid? Thou comedy to men,
Whose serious folly is a butt for all
To shoot their wits at; whilst thou hast not
Nor heart, to answer, or be angry!
Alg. Lady!
[supported by
Malr. Peace, peace, you rotten rogue,
A staff of rott'ner office! Dare you check
Any's accesses that I will allow?
Piorato is my friend, and visits me

In lawful sort, t' espouse me as his wife;
And who will cross, or shall, our interviews?
You know me, sirrah, for no chambermaid,
That cast her belly and her wastecoat lately.
Thou think'st thy constableship is much!

not so;

I am ten offices to thee: ay, thy house,
Thy house and office is maintain'd by me.
Alg. My house-of-office is maintain'd i'th'
garden!

Go to! I know you; and I have contriv'd
(You're a delinquent), but I have contriv'd
A poison, tho' not in the third degree:

I can say, black's your eye, though it be grey;
I have conniv'd at this your friend, and you;
But what is got by this connivency?
I like his feature well's; a proper man,
Of good discourse, fine conversation,
Valiant, and a great carrier of the business,
Sweet-breasted as the nightingale or thrush:
Yet I must tell you, you forget yourself;
My lord Vitelli's love, and maintenance,
Deserves no other Jack i'th' box, but he.
What tho' he gather'd first the golden fruit,
And blew your pigs-coat up into a blister,
When you did wait at court upon his mother;

Has he not well provided for the bairn?
Beside, what profit reap I by the other?
If you will have me serve your pleasure, lady,
Your pleasure must accommodate my service;
As good be virtuous and poor, as not
Thrive by my knav'ry; all the world would be
Good, prosper'd goodness like to villainy.
I am the king's vicegerent by my place;
His right lieutenant in mine own precinct.
Malr. Thou'rt a right rascal in all men's
precincts!

Yet now, my pair of twins, of fool and knave,
Look, we are friends; there's gold for thee:
adinit

Whom I will have, and keep it from my don, And I will make thee richer than thou'rt wise:

Thou shalt be my bawd, and my officer;
Thy children shall eat still, my good night-
owl,

And thy old wife sell andirons to the court,
Be countenanc'd by the dons, and wear a
hood,
[mother,

Nay, keep my garden-house; I'll call her
Thee father, my good poisonous red-hair'd
And gold shall daily be thy sacrifice, [deel,
Wrought from a fertile island of mine own,
Which I will offer, like an Indian queen.

Alg. And I will be thy devil, thou my
With which I'll catch the world. [flesh,
Malr. Fill some tobacco,
And bring it in. If Piorato come
Before my don, admit him; if my don
Before my love, conduct him, my dear de-
vil!
[Erit.
Alg. I will, my dear flesh.-First come,
first serv'd: well said !---

Oh, equal Heav'n, how wisely thou disposest
Thy several gifts! One's born a great rich
fool,

For the subordinate knave to work upon;
Another's poor, with wit's addition,
Which well or ill us'd, builds a living up,
And that too from the sire oft descends;
Only fair Virtue, by traduction

18 I like his feather well.] Amended in 1750.
19 Sweet breasted.] See note 28, on the Pilgrim.

Never succeeds 20, and seldom meets success:
What have I then to do with't? My free will,
Left me by Heaven, makes ine or good or ill.
Now since vice gets morc in this vicious world
Than piety, and my star's confluence
Enforce my disposition to affect [tise
Gain, and the name of rich, let who will prac-
War, and grow that way great; religious,
And that way good! My chief felicity
Is wealth, the nurse of sensuality;
And he that mainly labours to be rich,
Must scratch great scabs, and claw a strum-
pet's itch.

SCENE II.

Enter Piorato and Bobadilla.

[Exit.

Pio. To say, sir, I will wait upon your
Were not to understand myself. [lord,
Bob. To say, sir,

You will do any thing but wait upon him,
Were not to understand my lord.

Pio. I'll meet him
[to render
Some half-hour hence, and doubt not but
His son a man again: the cure is easy;
I have done divers.

[spark

Bob. Women do you mean, sir?
Pio. Cures I do mean. Be there but one
Of fire remaining in him unextinct,
With my discourse I'll blow it to a flame,
And with my practice into action.
I have had one so full of childish fear,
And womanish-hearted, sent to my advice,
He durst not draw a knife to cut his meat.
Bob. And how, sir, did you help him?
Pio. Sir, I kept him
Seven days in a dark room by candle-light,
A plenteous table spread, with all good meats,
Before his eyes, a case of keen broad knives
Upon the board, and he so watch'd he might

not

Touch the least modicum, unless he cut it:
And thus I brought him first to draw a knife.
Bob. Good!

Pio. Then for ten days did I diet him
Only with burnt pork, sir, and gammons of
A pill of caviare now and then, [bacon;
Which breeds choler adust, you know--
[and cold crudities,
Pio. And to purge plilegmatick humour,
In all that time he drank me aqua-fortis,
And nothing else but-

Bob. 'Tis true.

Bob. Aqua-vita, signor;
For aqua-fortis poisons.
Pio. Aqua-fortis,

I say again: What's one man's poison, signor,
Is another's meat or drink.

Bob. Your patience, sir! [stomach.
By your good patience, h' had a huge cold
Pio. I fired it, and gave him then three

sweats

In the Artillery-Yard, three drilling days;
And now he'll shoot a gun, and draw a sword,
And fight, with any man in Christendom.

Pio. To make you drunk, sir,

[twice,

With small beer once a day, and beat you
'Till you be bruis'd all over; if that help not,
Knock out your brains.

Bob. This is strong physick, signor,
And never will agree with my weak body:
I find the med'cine worse than the malady,
And therefore will remain fool-hardy still.
You'll come, sir?.

Pio. As I am a gentleman.

[his word.
Bob. A man o'th'sword should never break
Pio. I'll overtake you: I have only, sir,
A complimental visitation

To offer to a mistress lodg'd here by.
Bob. A gentlewoman?

Pio. Yes, sir.

Bob. Fair, and comely?

Pio. Oh, sir, the paragon, the nonpareil Of Sevil, the most wealthy mine of Spain, For beauty and perfection.

Bob. Say you so?

Might not a man entreat a courtesy,

To walk along with you, signor, to peruse
This dainty mine, tho' not to dig in't, signor?
Hauh-I hope you'll not deny me, being a
stranger;

Tho' I'm a steward, I am flesh and blood,
And frail as other men.

Pio. Sir, blow your nose!

I dare not, for the world: no; she is kept
By a great don, Vitelli.

Bob. How!

Pio. 'Tis true.

[Vitelli

Bob. See, things will veer about! This don
Am I to seek now, to deliver letters [you,
From my young mistress Clara; and, I tell
Under the rose (because you are a stranger,
And my especial friend), I doubt there is
A little foolish love betwixt the parties,
Unknown unto my lord.

Pio. Happy discovery!

My fruit begins to ripen.-Hark you, sir!
I would not wish you now to give those let-
ters;

But home, and ope this to madonna Clara,
Which when I come I'll justify, and relate
More amply and particularly.

20 Never succeeds.] i. e. Never follows by succession.

Bob.

21 Here's two chewres chewr'd.] That is, Here are two businesses dispatched. Chewre may be a South Country word for business; but in the North we should say,

Here's two chares char'd.

So in Noble Kinsmen we have the same word, act iii. scene 2. the Gaoler's Daughter, speaking of Palamon, says,

All's char'd when he is gone. No, no, I lie,
My father's to be hang'd for his escape, &c.

22 Walk some voyage.] Voyage is now improperly applied only to journies at sea; but it properly signifies a journey either by land or sea, as the French use the word voyage. The word journey is derived from jour, the day; voyage is from voye, via, the way; and here is used in its proper signification. Seward.

23 Labours most impossible.] This place, at first sight, appears to be a contradiction; for if the labours were impossible, they could not be done either by Piorato or Hercules. Most, I take it here, should be wrote thus:

Labours 'most impossible,

i. e. almost. The using of a simple for a compound word, is frequent in our poets; and we have it again in this very play, act v. scene 2.

being by your beams of beauty form'd, i. e. inform'd.

This is refinement. The labours of Hercules were enjoined as supposed impossibilities. Almost impossible, is a poor phrase indeed. Poetry is not logick or mathematicks.

-] Here we have a strange anticlimax, she is in labour with anger, and yet only big with child of rage. The editor possibly might be the author of this inconsistency, who seeing the line wrote

E'en with anger big with child, &c.

thought that the measure was deficient, and so might out of his own head give us in labour, to make up the deficiency: but he did not see the inconsistency of this addition, which makes the place nonsense. Sympson.

25 Oh, th' uncomfortable ways such women have.] Seward thinks uncomfortable a corruption, and that we should read unstable.