Mr. Gill had failed in two actions, in different courts, to establish the guilt of his lady. Sir John Nichol presuming upon non-proof of guilt being confirmation of innocence, gave (instead of a sentence) an admonition, advising the parties to come together again. From what we have read of this case formerly, it is not likely that such an event will take place. The suspicious husband bored holes in walls, through which he and his maid-servant peeped, (servant-girl I mean) but peeped in vain. Antipathies are carried to a curious extent, when the "green-eyed monster" bears predominant sway over the feverish mind. We are old enough to remember an anecdote of Mr. Clive, the barrister, husband of the celebrated actress of that name, who was a very peculiar man, and extremely nice in keeping his pepper and salt accounts: he always made out a washing bill himself, and saw his linen counted. The numerous faux pas committed by Mrs. Clive created a separation from her husband; and, in proportion as he had loved, he detested her. A new washerwoman coming to take Mr. Clive's cloaths, as she counted them into the bag, she recapitulated all her employers' names-and, amongst the rest, Mrs. Clive's. "What!" exclaimed the cornuted barrister, "Mrs. Clive, the actress?" "Yes, your honour." "Then out with my linen, and be off, for my shirt shall never be rubbed against her shift any more, either in this world or the next?" We presume this to be the case with Mr. Gill; and not until thunder and beer are found to agree, will they cohabit together. A NOSELESS CRIM. CON.-OR, A "BONUS" FOR A WASHERWOMAN. HAYES versus BONUS. The damages were laid at £500. The plaintiff in this case is a bookseller's servant, and the defendant a rich retired army clothier, 80 years of age. Witnesses were called, to whom no credit was given. One wo man swore (without a blush) she had been in the same room, and seen the act of adultery committed. The adultress's aunt also swore to having had ocular demonstration of similar disgusting acts; but, unfortunately for the plaintiff, his sister was called, who, poor innocent thing, swore that her brother lived happily with his wife before the alleged faux pas, except now and then she reproached him with neglecting bu→ siness, and of having lost his nose! This completely altered the case: the learned Judge seemed to think, that, at eighty, all attempts at adultery was vanity and vexation of spirit. The Jury thought it a vile attempt at extortion, and gave a verdict for the defendant. Men often mar their own interests by putting their noses in where there is no occasion; but here it ap pears, that if the crime was committed with the plaintiff's connivance, it certainly was not done under his nose! The jury, however, were good noses, and smelt out the transaction. This is another case springing from the bad example set by the higher orders; and all we can do, is to advise a poor man never to go into court in a crim. con. case, unless he has a bold face, and a nose to produce in support of his action. LONDON HELLS EXPOSED, In the History of the Hon. F. Haphazard, and Harriet Syren. They died in the blaze of their fame."-BURNS. It has long been a complaint, that whilst the "Vice Society," and the "informers," are sticking their noses into every public-house, and preventing the peaceful inmates from enlivening a pot of sour porter by a friendly game of dominos, the Hells, supported by nobility, under the very walls of the royal palace, are protected, and kept open even on the Sabbath dayno one daring to interfere with them! Though they "the very steps that go down to death," they lead are to swindling, forgery-and, finally, suicide or the gallows. This is no fable: the tale I am about to unfold is founded on facts, and should be an awful warning to all who are inclined to yield to the temptations laid out in these Hells, for the destruction of youth's fortune, his body, and his soul. To shew with what unblushing effrontery the fiends engaged in this lucrative speculation proceed, a house has been recently opened, nearly facing the King's Palace in Pall Mall: the rules and regulations are made as public as those of the military club. No canes, hats, or great coats, can be admitted into the Sanctum Sanctorums; and, to secure decorum, a clergyman is master of the ceremonies.Priestesses and Virgins of the Sun-rooms blazing in all the splendour of eastern grandeur-luxuries worthy of the banquet of a Persian Satrap-are there to be found. All that can inflame the passions, and excite desires of various kinds, are studiously attended to, although all appears negligent and careless. We shall have occasion to attend the short-life hero of this tale to many such illuminated Hells, so leave our description to drop in as we go on, reserving our comments, animadversions, and advice, till we draw to a conclusion of this "strange eventful history." One thing we are compelled to premise, to prove how little justice or zeal for morality or religion has to do with those who hire informers to hunt down gambling stews. Not a quarter of a mile from this Babel of iniquity, where thousands are lost on a game at Rouge et Noir, an honest tavern-keeper was pulled up to Bow-street, for permitting two neighbouring master tradesmen to play a game at dominos for a glass of grog, in his parlour, and fined forty shillings, Is this just?-is this bearable ?-it is: for, as Paddy says, "you must grin and bear it!" Truly does Mr. Pope write, that "Poor rogues, in chains, but dangle to the wind, The Hon. Frederick Haphazard was the eldest son of my Lord Bagatelle. He drew his first breath in the vicinity of several Hells, and thus, as it were, sucked in the spirit of gaming with his mother's milk: (I beg pardon for supposing that her ladyship could so far demean herself as to suckle her own child.) The nurse's milk, and the air of Albemarle-street, rendered Master Freddy, by the time he was weaned, as pretty a sickly sprig of nobility as ever the cow-pox saved from a premature grave. After being rolled through the Mall in St. James's Park, from Spring Garden Gate to Buckingham House, in a hand curricle, drawn by an ass, (a footman in livery) for the term of five years, he was consigned to the attic of his father's mansion, under the care of a Swiss governess, to teach him A. B. C. and, if she could, the rudiments of the English language. Here, burthened with toys, and erammed with sweat-meats, his constitution grew worse, and when brought down one day after a public I dinner, to be exhibited to the company, my Lord Diplomania remarked, that the child looked puny, and required fresh air. To this, Lady Bagatelle replied, that his attic was well aired, having two fires in it, winter and summer, and that the leads on the housetop (where he was promenaded once a day) were swept by the country gales from Windsor, Harrow, and Tattersall's exercising ground, which had nothing to obstruct a free circulation, except the St. George's and Lock Hospitals. To be sure, (added her ladyship) the smoke gives him a sallow complexion, but mahogany faces are all: in fashion, since the Duke of Wellington, and his generals, have introduced bronze busts from Spain. Sir William Whipcord, a baronet, a bastard, and a black-leg, who had been recently white-washed in St. George's Fields, recommended a preparatory boarding school, near Newmarket, kept by an old groom of his father's; and it was decided that young Freddy should be sent thither. In a few days, his noble father dashed down with him in his curricle, not from love for his offspring, but the races were begun, and he had thus a chance of killing two birds with one stone. The house of preparation looked upon the race course, and here, at the age of nine years, was Freddy placed, to commence his education under a horse's companion, and a superannuated housekeeper. He had a poney to ride on, and Lord Bagatelle left particular directions that he was to be kept close to his studies, but have unbounded liberty to do as he pleased. Mr. Jonas Rubdown, who had been dubbed a doctor at Aberdeen, cared very little about the morals or education of his pupils; he had a sporting connection, and some of the first families) on the turf left their sons under his care. Moreover he had a set of splendid stables, which he let out to prepare broken down racers for the hammer in London; and Mrs. Rubdown had, at a short distance from her school, an establishment, where" Ladies whose circumstances require a temporary retirement meet with every attention due to the delicacy of their situation." To both these places, Master Freddy had ingress and egress, at all hours of the day, and before he had been four years upon duty, he was a proficient in midwifery; an adept as a horse doctor, and a bungler at his grammar and his writing desk. When turned fourteen years of age, his parents came to Dr. Rubdown's with an intention of removing him to Eton college. They were highly delighted with his ruddy appearance and stout figure, and as a match was on, betwixt two favourite horses, Master Freddy rode to the course with his father; Lord Bagatelle made some bets, when Freddy stopped him, and whispered him to "go it on the other side, I'm down to it, take my word." I will, (said his Lordship) as it is the first time you ever gave it me. At the conclusion of the race, his Lordship had bagged three thousand pounds; and after this notable stroke, both my lord and lady agreed, that it would ruin so keen a genius to bury him in college-in fine, Alma Mater was pitched to the Devil, and Master Freddy carried home to prepare to follow Alma Mater in quick time. (To be continued.) |