putting her new smock over her head." They then dressed her between them; and gave her a glass or two of wine to cheer her spirits, and placed before her a looking glass, that her eyes might be delighted with her gay appearance. The old parson thanked the worthy housekeeper for the charming game she had started for him to pursue, and doubted not the object would be accomplished in a few days.

Maria, from this time, had to wait upon the Doctor, who took every opportunity of praising her beauty, and gradually encroaching upon her modesty by the amorous kisses which he every now and then imprinted upon her blooming cheeks, or her exuberant snowy hills, which were growing daily more luxuriant. At every fresh approach he attempted to appease her with fresh presents. of ribbands, lace, fine white stockings, new gowns, bonnets, caps, &c., till at length, by the assistance of wine, he effected his diabolical purpose. The girl, though naturally modest, was too young and simple to dwell much on the consequences of what had happened, and was afterwards easily induced to become the regular partner of his bed, little thinking how many had passed there a few fleeting months of guilty pleasure, to be rewarded by years of misery and mortification. Thus did the salacious old goat riot in the charms of this beautiful girl, glowing with all the luxuriance of sweet fifteen, for about four months, when it was perceived that symptoms of multiplication began to appear, and then it was determined she must share the fate that some twenty others had done before her. The old Doctor and Mrs. Jones planned it that the servant boy, a youth between fifteen and sixteen, should by some means or other be seduced to cohabit with Maria. The housekeeper began to fill the lad's head with amorous ideas, gave him wine, and incited him to romp with the girl, telling him he was a fool if he did not give her what she wanted, &c. &c. It was not difficult to bring this affair about, and a plot was concerted for the Doctor to catch William and Maria in the act which having been accomplished, he threatened to strip her and turn her out of doors, but ultimately

pardoned her, on condition, that when her pregnancy was perceived by the parish officers, she would swear the child to William, who would be obliged to marry her, and in that case be well provided for. She remained in the house two months longer before she was discovered to be breeding, but when she was taken before a magistrate to swear the child to William, the youth, not choosing to be saddled with other people's concerns, ran away, and was never heard of more. The poor girl went into the workhouse to lie-in, and was ever after neglected by Doctor Gregory, whose feelings had become hardened by a constant repetition of such actions. Maria's child being a male, she gave him the cognomen of Gregory, in order that the world might suspect his real father, although she did not dare avow the perjury into which she had been so basely seduced. Having thus given, according to custom, the pedigree of our hero, and brought him safely into the world, we will reserve the commencement of his career for the next chapter.

A DIALOGUE IN A WATER-CLOSET.

To the Editor of the Rambler's Magazine. SIR, A lady, whose fancy-man I have the pleasure to be, was at the Grand Masquerade, held in the Argyle Rooms, on the 27th of last month, and accidentally over-heard the following conversation in one of the little chambers of convenience, to which a duchess, a countess, and two other ladies of quality had retired.

Lady B. Well, ladies, have you heard that a certain nobleman, who is equally renowned in the annals of gallantry, as those of war, is going to marry one of his daughters to the rich Mr.

?

Countess. Yes, it was nearly effected, but it is all off. Lady J. How so?

Countess. Why, the gallant general knowing that crim. con. ran in the blood of his family,, after having arranged with the intended bridegroom the amount of

the jointure to be settled on his daughter, was desirous of introducing a clause into the settlement to prevent its being invalidated, in case she committed a faux pas, and was divorced. By this mode of bargaining, it appeared that the father calculated on such an event, and, consequently knew, that she either was already, or only wanted the sanction of marriage to be, a wb-e. Duchess. Fie! Countess, fie! You should not use so uncharitable a phrase.

Countess. I beg your grace's pardon; but the suitor, Mr. stated, at Lady Y's rout, the other evening, that it was impossible he could draw any other conclusion, and therefore broke up the parley immediately.

Lady B. I think the gentleman was perfectly right; it was certainly a most preposterous clause to be introduced into a marriage settlement.

Duchess. I think not: at least for people in our rank of life. What advantages should we derive from birth and title, if we were bound to live according to the mechanical rules of common people.

Lady J. Have we not the advantage of influencing society by our example, and having the most trifling good which we do, magnified a thousand-fold, while the same things done by a common person would pass for nought.

your

The

Duchess. Pshaw! One would think you were bred in a farm-house! What old-fashioned notions! You are but just married; you have not known Sir John long enough to get tired of him. You, moreover, were brought up in retirement, under the watchful eyes of crabbed parents, and had no opportunity of losing before marriage, consequently, you have not known the luxury of a crim. con. gratifications which are forbidden have a higher zest, "bread eaten in secret," saith the Scripture," is sweet," and if you'll take the word of an experienced person, I can assure you, that your first crim. con. will yield you more rapture than the first night of your marriage, in the cold formality of legitimate embraces, and when things were done according to Act of Parliament.

Lady J. Well, your grace ought to know best, as you speak from experience; my ignorance must plead my excuse; I wish to remain faithful and chaste. I have known but one man, and I am satisfied.

Duchess. When you have known twenty, you'll be

less so.

Countess. I am perfectly of your grace's opinion, though I disapproved of the clause in the settlement. Our lords have greater temptations to pleasure than common people; they can keep as many mistresses as they please. They cannot serve heaven and hell at the same time; and are we to be neglected? No. If one lord deserts his post, another must fill it; and if a lord is not to be found, a commoner will do, or even a servant-man, provided he is fit for the service.

Duchess. Bravo! Spoken nobly, my dear countess ! But come, we shall get no volunteers to do duty for us to-night, if we bury ourselves here discussing the theory. Allons, let us go and practice the good things of which we have been preaching. [Exit omnes.

The above was minutely detailed to me, the next morning; and though the relator is a dashing Cyprian, you may rely on its authenticity. I find since, that the intended marriage, which led to the above conversation, is a circumstance well known in high-life; and the rupture, and its cause, as mentioned by the countess, is not merely idle-scandal, but a positive fact. The father of the lady, who thus lost one of the richest private gentlemen in England, has been mentioned as a candidate for a dukedom.

1

I am, Sir, your's, &c.

CICEBEO.

PRIVATE THEATRICAL CONSPIRACY.

To the Editor of the Rambler's Magazine.

SIR,

I seize this opportunity of congratulating the public on the appearance of your excellent and impartial Ma

gazine, which has stood forward in the most praiseworthy manner, and exposed some of the despicable and ignorant gang of vagabonds who now disgrace many of the private theatres of the metropolis.

It is really shocking to observe a set of fellows, without education or talent, thrusting themselves forward on the boards of a private theatre in such characters as Hamlet, Richard, and Othello, for which they pay a most extravagant price: a price which they can only raise by robbing their employers-a practice that bids fair, in time, to bring them to the gallows.

What renders this doubly distressing is, that respectable young men of education and ability are led by their passion for the dramatic toga to associate with those contemptible wretches whom I have before described, and in time imbibe their pernicious principles.

But to the point. The sole reason for my thus addressing you is, to make the public, as well as yourself, acquainted with a conspiracy, of rather a curious nature, among the lowest of these worthies.

For several weeks previous to the appearance of your Magazine, private meetings were held among the above truly respectable gentlemen, as to the propriety of establishing a Theatrical Magazine, which could be sold at a low price, in order that the purchase of a copy should not weaken very materially the exhausted finances of " Shakspeare's warm admirers." It was also to contain copious criticisms on private theatricals, and the editor and his friends, the committee of management, were to praise each other reciprocally, and compare themselves to Kean and Macready, in their respective characters.

One of the leaders of the gang was to be " a gentleman of the most distinguished talent, and worthy of no contemptible place in the company of either of the patent theatres." The other "excelled in all parts that required intensity of feeling, great expression, and superior judgment." These, sir, were the selfdrawn characters of the two conductors-and the understrappers were to be rated in proportion.

The appearance of your Magazine has annihilated