that she laughed with him, when she was only laughing at him.

Chance often overturns our wisest plans; or, as Burns expresses it

"The best laid schemes of mice and men
Gang aft a gley."

So it was here.-One evening when Mrs Burton was out at tea, Miss Burton entered the shop, and Peter very respectfully solicited a short conference in the back shop. Miss Burton had some presentiment (from Peter's previous behaviour to her,) of the subject now to be introduced; however, fond of a joke, she smiled compliance, and at Peter's request seated herself beside him at a snug fire. As a preliminary to the intended treaty, Peter had very lovingly encircled her waist with his arm, and with a gentle violence was endeavouring to make her head rest on his shoulder; when, at this most critical moment, the door opened, and in popped Mrs Burton's broad face, like a harvest full moon just emerging above the horizon.

Some awkward apologies were stammered out by Peter, about Miss Burton's being suddenly taken ill. The prudent mother affected to believe them; conducted her daughter up stairs; put her to bed,-and then waddled down to take the chair just vacated in the back shop. Mrs Burton, accustomed to business, immediately called in her deputy retailer of trowsers and tar brushes; told him, in few words, that she saw how the land lay; but that if he knew his own interest, of which she had no doubt, he would put about ship; for, in short, Bess might or might not have a fortune,-that was just as she (her mother) pleased; but she would tell him once for all, that if he married Bess, he should never finger a guinea, till it was sweated out through all the forms that the delay and chicane of the law would allow. But to make him amends for this disappointment, she had a good round sum entirely at her own disposal, exclusive of a well-stocked shop and warehouse, which, with her own person, hale and healthy, and very little the

worse for wear, besides a brisk lucrative business, she now offered for his acceptance; Yes or no was the word! she hated dillydallying. If he thought well of the matter, they would be married next week; if he had better prospects, she was too much his friend to detain him from them, and he should be discharged to-morrow morning.

Peter, recollecting the proverb, “Strike the iron while it is hot," gave a frank or well feigned assent; shook the widow by the hand; and sealed the contract by a hearty smack on her purple lips.

Preliminaries thus adjusted, a definitive treaty followed, which was legally executed by the contracting parties on the Monday following. Peter was put in full possession of the premises left by the defunct; the quondam Mrs Burton, now Mrs Lightfoot, stickled hard for an immediate retirement from the fatigues of business; but Peter replied, that he was still in the prime of life, and must do something in the way of business, which was the duty of every man at the head of a family. However, they re

moved to a more respectable quarter of the city; business was extended; Peter arrived at civic honours; became a contractor with government; dashed into speculations which turned out fortunate; dabbled in the stocks; and, on a particular occasion, had the honour of kneeling before his Majesty, and rising Sir Peter Lightfoot. He was now the father of three children, and Lady Lightfoot again sighed for retirement and the sweets of rural life. Although Sir Peter's ruling passion was avarice, or at least money-making, yet some circumstances, which were never elucidated, loosened his attachment to the city, and he graciously complied with the wishes of his lady.-Seeing the Scotch estate of Bramblebrae advertised for sale, he became the purchaser, dashed down to his native hills, which he had never visited since he crossed them barefooted with the Highland drover, took possession of his estate, and became the greatest man within a circle of twenty miles around him.

! Such were the master and mistress of the

mansion in which I was now to reside, (for my terms were accepted,) and I entered upon my charge, not from choice, but necessity.

Upon inquiring what course of studies it was intended my pupils should follow, I was edified with the following lecture from Sir Peter:

"Why, sir, I can't say as how that I am up to all your outlandish terms, and them there things that they palaver about at the cadameys, howsomdever, I thinks I knows a thing or two. Yes, sir, I knows the needful, and have looked after the ready.—Before I purchased this here estate, my right worshipful and honourable friend, the Lord Mayor of London, one day after dinner, in talking about our families, mentioned a prodigious famous teacher, that, he said, should be attended by every young man, he called him Matthew Mattocks, and that he learned jometry, and God knows all what. He also said, says he, every one who wants to make a figure now-a-days, should be acquainted with Bell Letter. I