When to appease the craving glutton,
His boy Tom produc'd the mutton,
Was such disaster ever told?

Alas! the meat was deadly cold!

Here take and h-eat it, says the master;
Quoth Tom, that shall be done, and fast, Sir:
And few there are who will dispute it,

But he went instantly about it;
For Birch had scorn'd the H to say,
And blew him with a puff away.

The bell was rung with dread alarm;
"Bring me the mutton, is it warm?"
Sir, you desir'd, and I have eat it ;
"You lie, my orders were to heat it."
Quoth Tom, I'll readily allow

That H is but a breathing now.

ON BEING ASKED WHICH OF THREE SISTERS WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL.

1

WHEN Paris gave his voice, in Ida's grove,
For the resistless Venus, queen of love,
'Twas no great task to pass a judgment there,
Where she alone was exquisitely fair;
But here what could his ablest judgment teach,
When wisdom, power, and beauty reign in each;
The youth, nonpluss'd, behov'd to join with me,
And wish the apple had been cut in three.

1 Euripides. Iphig. Aul. 1302. 1298: Pausan: V. 19. § 1. Homer Il, xxiv: 25. 29. &c. &c.

THE RIVERS OF SCOTLAND.

AN ODE.

Set to Music by Mr. [Richard] Collett.

[Richard Collett was an English violin-player, and is recorded by Dr. Burney as having had a good tone, and a strong hand, but without either taste or knowledge of music, and only a coarse performer. He played the first violin at Vauxhall in the summer of 1745. No doubt, writes the accomplished George Farquhar Graham, Esq. to the Editor, "this is the Collett who set the Ode of Fergusson to music. There is no record of any other English musician of that name in the 18th century. His music must be worthless." I have never been able to discover this Ode with the Music of Collett.]

O'ER Scotia's parched land the Naiads flew,

From towering hills explor'd her shelter'd vales,
Caus'd Forth in wild meanders please the view,
And lift her waters to the zephyr's gales;
Where the glad swain surveys his fertile fields,
And reaps the plenty which his harvest yields.

Here did those lovely nymphs, unseen,
Oft wander by the river's side,
And oft unbind their tresses green,
To bathe them in the fluid tide;

Then to the shady grottos would retire,
And sweetly echo to the warbling choir;

Or to the rushing waters tune their shells
To call up echo from the woods,

Or from the rocks, or crystal floods,

Or from surrounding banks, or hills, or dales.

CHORUS.

Or to the rushing waters tune their shells

To call up echo from the woods,

Or from the rocks or crystal floods,

Or from surrounding banks, or hills, or dales.

When the cool fountains first their springs forsook,
Murmuring smoothly to the azure main,
Exulting Neptune then his trident shook,
And wav'd his waters gently to the plain.

The friendly Tritons on his chariot borne,
With cheeks dilated blew the hollow-sounding horn.

Now Lothian and Fifan shores,

Resounding to the mermaid's song,

Gladly emit their limpid stores,

And bid them smoothly sail along

To Neptune's empire, and with him to roll
Round the revolving sphere from pole to pole;

To guard Britannia from envious foes,
To view her angry vengeance hurl'd
In awful thunder round the world,
And trembling nations bending to her blows.

CHORUS.

To guard Britannia from envious foes,
To view her angry vengeance hurl'd

In awful thunder round the world,

And trembling nations bending to her blows.

High towering on the zephyr's breezy wing,

Swift fly the Naiades from Fortha's shores,

And to the southern airy mountains bring

Their sweet enchantment and their magic powers.

Each nymph her favourite willow takes,
The earth with fev'rous tremor shakes,
The stagnant lakes obey their call,
Streams o'er the grassy pastures fall.

Tweed spreads her waters to the lucid ray,
Upon the dimpled surf the sun-beams play:

On her green banks the tuneful shepherd lies,
Charm'd with the music of his reed,

Amidst the wavings of the Tweed:

From sky-reflecting streams the river nymphs arise.

CHORUS.

On her green banks the tuneful shepherd lies,
Charm'd with the music of his reed,

Amidst the wavings of the Tweed :

From sky-reflecting streams the river nymphs arise.

The list'ning muses heard the shepherd play,

Fame with her brazen trump proclaim'd his name,

And to attend the easy graceful lay,

Pan from Arcadia to Tweeda came.

Fond of the change, along the banks he stray'd,
And sung unmindful of th' Arcadian shade.

AIR-Tweedside.

1.

Attend every fanciful swain,

Whose notes softly flow from the reed,

With harmony guide the sweet strain,
To sing of the beauties of Tweed.

2.

Where the music of woods and of streams

In soothing sweet melody join,

To enliven your pastoral themes,

And make human numbers divine.

CHORUS.

Ye warblers from the vocal grove,
The tender woodland strain approve,
While Tweed in smoother cadence glides,
O'er flow'ry vales in gentle tides;
And as she rolls her silver waves along,
Murmurs and sighs to quit the rural song.
Scotia's great Genius in russet clad,
From the cool sedgy bank exalts her head,
In joyful rapture she the change espies,
Sees living streams descend and groves arise.

AIR-Gilderoy.

1.

As sable clouds at early day

Oft dim the shining skies,
So gloomy thoughts create dismay,
And lustre leaves her eyes.

2.

"Ye powers! are Scotia's ample fields

"With so much beauty grac'd,

"To have those sweets your bounty yields "By foreign foes defac'd?