So I, to find a mother and a brother, 40 Enter DROMIO of Ephesus. Here comes the almanac of my true date. What now? how chance thou art return'd so soon? Dro. E. Return'd so soon! rather approach'd too late : The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit, The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell; My mistress made it one upon my cheek: The meat is cold because you come not home; Ant. S. Stop in your wind, sir: tell me this, I pray : Dro. E. 0,-sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday last To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper? The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not. Ant. S. I am not in a sportive humour now: Tell me, and dally not, where is the money? We being strangers here, how darest thou trust So great a charge from thine own custody? Dro. E. I pray you, jest, sir, as you sit at dinner : I from my mistress come to you in post; If I return, I shall be post indeed, For she will score your fault upon my pate. Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock And strike you home without a messenger. 50 60 Ant. S. Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of sea son; Reserve them till a merrier hour than this. Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee? Dro. E. To me, sir? why, you gave no gold to me. Ant. S. Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness And tell me how thou hast disposed thy charge. Dro. E. My charge was but to fetch you from the mart Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner: My mistress and her sister stays for you. Ant. S. Now, as I am a Christian, answer me 70 80 Dro. E. I have some marks of yours upon my pate, Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders, Ant. S. Thy mistress' marks? what mistress, slave, hast thou? Dro. E. Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phoenix ; She that doth fast till you come home to dinner And prays that you will hie you home to dinner. Ant. S. What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face, Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave. 90 Dro. E. What mean you, sir? for God's sake, hold your hands! Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take my heels. ACT II. [Exit. 100 [Exit SCENE I. The house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus. Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA. Adr. Neither my husband nor the slave return'd, That in such haste I sent to seek his master! Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock. Luc. Perhaps some merchant hath invited him And from the mart he's somewhere gone to dinner Good sister, let us dine and never fret : A man is master of his liberty: Time is their master, and when they see time Adr. Why should their liberty than ours be more? 10 There's nothing situate under heaven's eye Adr. This servitude makes you to keep unwed. 20 Adr. But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway. Luc. Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey. Adr. How if your husband start some other where? 30 Luc. Till he come home again, I would forbear. Adr. Patience unmoved! no marvel though she pause; They can be meek that have no other cause. A wretched soul, bruised with adversity, We bid be quiet when we hear it cry; But were we burden'd with like weight of pain, Luc. Well, I will marry one day, but to try. Enter DROMIO of Ephesus. Adr. Say, is your tardy master now at hand? 40 Dro. E. Nay, he's at two hands with me, and that my two ears can witness. Adr. Say, didst thou speak with him? know'st thou his mind? Dro. E. Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear: Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it. Luc. Spake he so doubtfully, thou couldst not feel his meaning? 51 Dro. E. Nay, he struck so plainly, I could too well feel his blows; and withal so doubtfully that I could scarce understand them. Adr. But say, I prithee, is he coming home? It seems he hath great care to please his wife. Dro. E. Why, mistress, sure my master is horn-mad. I mean not cuckold-mad; he is stark mad. Dro. E. But, sure, When I desired him to come home to dinner, He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold : 46 60 Tis dinner-time," quoth I; My gold!" quoth he: "Your meat doth burn," quoth I; My gold!" quoth he: "Will you come home?" quoth I; "My gold!" quoth he. "Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?" "The pig," quoth I, "is burn'd;' My gold!" quoth he My mistress, sir," quoth I; " Hang up thy mistress! I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress!" Luc. Quoth who? Dro. E. Quoth my master: "I know," quoth he, "no house, no wife, no mistress." So that my errand, due into my tongue, I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders; For, in conclusion, he did beat me there. Adr. Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home. For God's sake, send some other messenger. Adr. Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across. 70 Dro. E. And he will bless that cross with other beating: Between you I shall have a holy head. Adr. Hence, prating peasant! fetch thy master home That like a football you do spurn me thus? You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither: 80 If I last in this service, you must case me in leather. [Exit. Whilst I at home starve for a merry look. A sunny look of his would soon repair: 90 But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale 100 And feeds from home; poor I am but his stale. Luc. Self-harming jealousy! fie, beat it hence ! Adr. Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense. I know his eye doth homage otherwhere; Or else what lets it but he would be here? Will lose his beauty; yet the gold bides still, 110 Luc. How many fond fools serve mad jealousy! [Exeunt. SCENE II. A public place. Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse. Ant. S. The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up Safe at the Centaur; and the heedful slave Is wander'd forth, in care to seek me out By computation and mine host's report. I could not speak with Dromio since at first Enter DROMIO of Syracuse. How now, sir! is your merry humour alter'd? Dro. S. What answer, sir? when spake I such a word? 10 20 Dro. S. I am glad to see you in this merry vein : What means this jest? I pray you, master, tell me. Ant. S. Yea, dost thou jeer and flout me in the teeth? Think'st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that, and that. [Beating him. Dro. S. Hold, sir, for God's sake! now your jest is earn est: Upon what bargain do you give it me? Ant. S. Because that I familiarly sometimes Do use you for my fool and chat with you, |