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sin of covetousness : but, as you say, sir, let SCENE I.-The street before Olivia's house. your bounty take a nap, I will awake it anon. Enter Clown and FABIAN.
[Exit Clown, Fab. Now, as thou lovest me, let me see his
Enter Antonio and Officers. letter.
Vio. Here comes the man, sir, that did rescue Clo. Good master Fabian, grant me another request.
Duke. That face of his I do remember well; Fab. Any thing.
Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear's Clo. Do not desire to see this letter.
As black as Vulcan, in the smoke of war: Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recom- A bawbling vessel was he captain of, pense, desire my dog again.
For shallow draught, and bulk, unprizable ; Enter Duke, Viola, and Attendants.
With which such scathful grapple did he make
With the most noble bottom of our fleet, Duke. Belong you to the lady Olivia, friends ? That very envy, and the tongue of loss, Clo. Ay, sir; we are some of her trappings. Cry'd fame and honour on him.-What's the
Duke. I know thee well: How dost thou, my matter? good fellow?
i off. Orsino, this is that Antonio, Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and the That took the Phænix, and her fraught, from worse for my friends.
Candy; Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy And this is he, that did the Tiger board, friends.
When your young nephew Titus lost his leg: Clo. No, sir, the worse.
Here in the streets, desperate of shame, and Duke. How can that be?
state, Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an In private brabble did we apprehend him. ass of me ; now, my foes tell me plainly I am an Vio. He did me kindness, sir ; drew on my ass : so that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am But, in conclusion, put strange speech upon me, abused : so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if I know not what 'twas, but distraction. your four negatives make your two affirmatives, Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief! why, then the worse for my friends, and the bet- What foolish boldness brought thee to their ter for my foes.
mercies, Duke. Why this is excellent.
Whom thou, in terms so bloody, and so dear, Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please Hast made thine enemies? you to be one of my friends.
Ant. Orsino, noble sir, Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me ; Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you give there's gold.
me; Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, Antonio never yet was thief, or pirate, I would you could make it another.
Though, I confess, on base and ground enough, Duke. O, you give me ill counsel.
Orsino's enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither : Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for That most ungrateful boy there, by your side, this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it. From the rude sea's enrag'd and foamy mouth
Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be Did I redeem ; a wreck past hope he was : a double-dealer ; there's another.
His life I gave him, and did thereto add Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; My love, without retention, or restraint, and the old saying is, the third pays for all: the All his in dedication : for his sake, tripler, sir, is a good tripping measure ; or the Did I expose myself, pure for his love, bells of St Bennet, sir, may put you in mind ; Into the danger of this adverse town; One, two, three.
Drew to defend him, when he was beset : Duke. You can fool no more money out of Where being apprehended, his false cunning, me at this throw : if you will let your lady (Not meaning to partake with me in danger,) know, I am here to speak with her, and bring Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance, her along with you, it may awake my bounty And grew a twenty-years-removed thing, further.
While one would wink; denied me mine own Clo. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty, till purse, I come again. I go, sir; but I would not have Which I had recommended to his use you to think, that my desire of having is the Not half an hour before.
Vio. How can this be?
If I do feign, you witnesses above, Duke. When came he to this town?
Punish my life, for tainting of my love! Ant. To-day, my lord; and for three months Oli. Ah me, detested ! how am I beguild ! before,
Vio. Who does beguile you? who does do (No interim, not a minute's vacancy,)
you wrong? Both day and night did we keep company. Oli. Hast thou forgot thyself? is it so long ?
Call forth the holy father. [Exit an Attendant. Enter OLIVIA and Attendants.
Duke. Come away.
[To Viola. Duke. Here comes the countess ; now heaven Oli. Whither, my lord ? -Cesario, husband, walks on earth.
Oli. Ay, husband ; can he that deny ?
Vio. No, my lord, not I.
That makes these strangle thy propriety : Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable ?
Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up; Cesario, you do not keep promise with me. Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou Vio. Madam?
art Duke. Gracious Olivia,
As great as that thou fear'st.-0, welcome, faOli. What do you say, Cesario ?--Good my ther!
lord, Vio. My lord would speak, my duty hushes
Re-enter Attendant, and Priest.
Father, I charge thee, by thy reverence, Oli. If it be aught to the old tune, my lord, Here to unfold (though lately we intended It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear,
To keep in darkness, what occasion now As howling after musick.
Reveals before 'tis ripe,) what thou dost know, Duke. Still so cruel ?
Hath newly past between this youth and me., Oli. Still so constant, lord.
Priest. A contract of eternal bond of love, Duke. What! to perverseness ? you uncivil Confirm'd by mutual joinder of your hands, lady,
Attested by the holy close of lips, To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars Strengthen'd by interchangement of your rings; My soul the faithfull’st offerings hath breath’a And all the ceremony of this compact out,
Seal'd in my function, by my testimony: That e'er devotion tender'd! What shall I do? Since when, my watch hath told me, toward my Oli. Even what it please my lord, that shall grave become him.
I have travell’d but two hours. Duke. Why should I not, had I the heart to Duke. O, thou dissembling cub! what wilt
thou be, Like to the Egyptian thief, at point of death, When time hath sow'd a grizzle on thy case ? Kill what I love; a savage jealousy,
Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow, That sometime savours nobly?-But hear me That thine own trip shall be thine overthrow ? this :
Farewell, and take her ; but direct thy feet, Since you to non-regardance cast my faith, Where thou and I henceforth may never meet. And that I partly know the instrument
Vio. My lord, I do protest, That screws me from my true place in your fa
Oli. 0, do not swear ; vour,
Hold little faith, though thou hast too much Live you, the marble-breasted tyrant, still ;
fear. But this your minion, whorn, I know, you love, And whom, by heaven I swear, I tender dearly, Enter Sir Andrew AGUE-CHEEK, with his head Him will I tear out of that cruel eye,
broke. Where he sits crowned in his master's spite.
Sir And. For the love of God, a surgeon ; send Come, boy, with me; my thoughts are ripe in one presently to Sir Toby. mischief:
Oli. What's the matter? 111 sacrifice the lamb that I do love,
Sir And. He has broke my head across, and To spite a raven's heart within a dove. [Going. has given sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too : for
Vio. And I, most jocund, apt, and willingly, the love of God, your help: I had rather than To do you rest, a thousand deaths would die. forty pound I were at home.
[Following: Oli. Who has done this, sir Andrew ? Oli. Where goes Cesario ?
Sir And. The count's gentleman, one Cesario : Vio. After him I love,
we took him for a coward, but he's the very More than I love these eyes, more than my life, devil incardinate. More, by all mores, then e'er I shall love wife: Duke. My gentleman, Cesario ?
Sir And. Od's lifelings, here he is:-You broke of charity, what kin are you to me? my head for nothing; and that, that I did, I was
[To Viola. set on to do't by sir Toby.
What countryman? what name? what parentVio. Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you:
Vio. Of Messaline : Sebastian was my father ; You drew your sword upon me, without cause ; Such a Sebastian was my brother too, But I bespake you fair, and hurt you not. So went he suited to his watery tomb :
Sir And. If á bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you If spirits can assume both form and suit,
Seb. A spirit I am, indeed ;
But am, in that dimension grossly clad, Here comes sir Toby halting, you shall hear Were you a woman, as the rest goes even, more: but if he had not been in drink, he would I should my tears let fall upon your cheek, have tickled you othergates than he did. And say-Thrice welcome, drowned Viola! Duke. How now, gentleman ? how is't with Vio. My father had a mole upon his brow.
Seb. And so had mine. Sir To. That's all one ; he has hurt me, and Vio. And died that day, when Viola from her there's the end on't.—Sot, did'st see Dick sur- birth
Had number'd thirteen years. Clo. O he's drunk, sir Toby, an hour agone; Seb. O, that record is lively in my soul ! his eyes were set at eight i'the morning. He finished, indeed, his mortal act
Sir To. Then he's a rogue. After a passy. That day, that made my sister thirteen years. measure, or a pavin, I hate a drunken rogue. Vio. If nothing lets to make us happy both,
Oli. Away with him : Who hath made this But this my masculine usurp'd attire, havock with them?
Do not embrace me, till each circumstance Sir And. I'll help you, sir Toby, because we'll Of place, time, fortune, do cohere, and jump, be dressed together.
That I am Viola : which to confirm, Sir To. Will you help an ass-head, and a I'll bring you to a captain in this town, coxcomb, and a knave? a thin-faced knave, a Where lie my maiden weeds ; by whose gentle gull ?
help Oli. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be I was preserv'd, to serve this noble count: look'd to.
All the occurrence of my fortune since [Exeunt Clown, Sir Toby, and Sir Andrew. Hath been between this lady, and this lord.
Seb. So comes it, lady, you have been mistook: Enter SEBASTIAN.
[To Olivia. Seb. I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your But nature to her bias drew in that. kinsman ;
You would have been contracted to a maid ; But, had it been the brother of my blood, Nor are you therein, by my life, deceiv'd, I must have done no less, with wit, and safety. You are betroth'd both to a maid and man. You throw a strange regard upon me, and Duke. Be not amaz'd; right noble is his.blood. By that I do perceive it hath offended you ; If this be so, as yet the glass seems true, Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows I shall have share in this most happy wreck : We made each other but so late ago.
Boy, thou hast said to me a thousand times, Duke. One face, one voice, one habit, and two
[To Viola. persons ;
Thou never should'st love, woman-like to me. A natural perspective, that is, and is not.
Vio. And all those sayings will I over-swear; Seb. Antonio, O my dear Antonio!
And all those swearings keep as true in soul, How have the hours rack'd and tortur'd me, As doth that orbed continent the fire Since I have lost thee.
That severs day from night. Ant. Sebastian are you?
Duke. Give me thy hand; Seb. Fear'st thou that, Antonio?
And let me see thee in thy woman's weeds. Ant. How have you made division of your- Vio. The captain, that did bring me first on self?
shore, An apple, cleft in two, is not more twin Hath my maid's garments: he, upon some ac* Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian ?
tion, Oli. Most wonderful !
Is now in durance ; at Malvolio's suit, Seb. Do I stand there? I never had a brother: A gentleman, and follower of my lady's. Nor can there be that deity in my nature, Oli. He shall enlarge him: Fetch Malvolio Of here and every where. I had a sister,
hither :Whom the blind waves and surges have de- And yet, alas, now I remember me, vour'd :
They say, poor gentleman, he's much distract.
Oli. Have I, Malvolio? no.
Mal. Lady, you have. Pray you, peruse that A most extracting frenzy of mine own
letter: From my remembrance clearly banish'd his.- You must not now deny it is your hand, How does he, sirrah ?
Write from it, if you can, in hand, or phrase ; Clo. Truly, madam, he holds Belzebub at the Or say, 'tis not your seal, nor your invention : stave's end, as well as a man in his case may do: You can say none of this: Well, grant it then, he has here writ a letter to you, I should have And tell me, in the modesty of honour, given it you to-day morning, but as a madman's Why you have given me such clear lights of faepistles are no gospels, so it skills not much, vour ; when they are delivered.
Bade me come smiling, and cross-garter'd to you, Oli. Open it, and read it.
To put on yellow stockings, and to frown Clo. Look then to be well edified, when the Upon sir Toby, and the lighter people ?. fool delivers the madman : -By the Lord, ma- And, acting this in an obedient hope, dam,
Why have you suffer'd me to be imprison'd, Oli. How now! art thou mad ?
Kept in a dark house, visited by the priest, Clo. No, madam, I do but read madness : an And made the most notorious geck, and gull, your ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you That e'er invention play'd on tell me why? must allow vor.
Oli. Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing, Oli. Pr’ythee, read i'thy right wits.
Though, I confess, much like the character: Clo. So I do, madonna; but to read his right But, out of question, 'tis Maria's hand. wits, is to read thus: therefore perpend, my And now I do bethink me, it was she princess, and give ear.
First told me, thou wast mad; then cam'st in Oli. Read it
smiling, Fab. [reads.] By the Lord, madam, you And in such forms which here were presuppos’d urong me, and the world shall know it: though Upon thee in the letter. Pr’ythee, be content: you have put me into darkness, and given your This practice hath most shrewdly pass'd upon drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship. I have But, when we know the grounds and authors of it, your own letter that induced me to the semblance Thou shalt be both the plaintiff and the judge I put on ; with the which I doubt not but to do Of thine own cause. myself much right, or you much shame. Think Fab. Good madam, hcar me speak; of me as you please. I leave my duty a little un- And let no quarrel, nor no brawl to come, thought of, and speak out of my injury.
Taint the condition of this present hour, The madly-used Malvolio. Which I have wonder'd at. In hope it shall not, Oli. Did he write this?
Most freely I confess, myself, and Toby, Clo. Ay, madam.
Set this device against Malvolio here, Duke. This savours not much of distraction. Upon some stubborn and uncourteous parts Oli. See him delivered, Fabian; bring him We had conceiv'd against him : Maria writ hither.
[Exit Fabian. The letter, at Sir Toby's great importance ; My lord, so please you, these things further In recompense whereof, he hath married her. thought on,
How with a sportful malice it was follow'd, To think me as well a sister as a wife,
May rather pluck on laughter than revenge ; One day shall crown the alliance on't, so please If that the injuries be justly weigh’d, you,
That have on both sides past. Here at my house, and at my proper cost. Oli. Alas, poor fool! how have they baffled thee! Duke. Madam, I am most apt to embrace your Clo. Why, some are born great, some achieve offer.
greatness, and some have greatness thrown upon. Your master quits you ; [To Viola.] and, for them. I was one, sır, in this interlude ; one sir your service done him,
Topas, sir ; but that's all one :-By the Lord, So much against the mettle of your sex, fool, I am not mad ;-But do you remember? So far beneath your soft and tender breeding, Madam, why laugh you at such a barren rascal ? And since you call’d me master for so long, an you smile not, he's gagg’d: And thus the Here is my hand; you shall from this time be whirligig of time brings in his revenges. Your master's mistress.
Mal. I'll be revenged on the whole pack of you. Oli. A sister ?-you are she.
Oli. He hath been most notoriously abus’d. Re-enter FABIAN, with Malvolio.
Duke. Pursue him, and entreat him to a Duke. Is this the madman ? Oli. Ay, my lord, the same:
He hath not told us of the captain yet; How now, Malvolio ?
When that is known, and golden time convents, Mal. Madam, you have done me wrong,
A solemn combination shall be made Notorious wrong.
Of our dear souls.-Mean time, sweet sister,
We will not part from hence. Cesario, come ;
But when I came, alas ! to wive,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, By swaggering could I never thrive,
For the rain it raineth every day. But when I came unto my bed,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, With toss-pots still had drunken head
For the rain it raineth every day.
Clo. When that I was and a tiny little boy,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, A foolish thing was but a toy,
For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came to man's estate,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, 'Gainst knave and thief men shut their gate,
For the rain it raineth every day.
A great while ago the world begun,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, But that's all one, our play is done, And we'll strive to please you every day