1712. No. 502. Procreation is acted, you see the whole Pit in such a Monday, Chuckle, and old Letchers, with Mouths open, stare at the October 6, loose Gesticulations on the Stage with shameful Earnestness, when the justest Pictures of Humane Life in its calm Dignity, and the properest Sentiments for the Conduct of it, pass by like meer Narration, as conducing only to somewhat much better which is to come after. I have seen the whole House at some Times in so proper a Disposition, that indeed I have trembled for the Boxes, and feared the Entertainment would end in the Repre sentation of the Rape of the Sabines. I would not be understood in this Talk to argue, that Nothing is tolerable on the Stage but what has an immediate Tendency to the Promotion of Virtue, On the contrary, I can allow, provided there is Nothing against the Interests of Virtue, and is not offensive to good Manners, that Things of an indifferent Nature may be represented. For this Reason, I have no Exception to the well-drawn Rusticities in the Country-Wake; and there is something so miraculously pleasant in Dogget's acting the aukward Triumph and comick Sorrow of Hob in different Circumstances, that I shall not be able to stay away whenever it is acted. All that vexes me is, that the Gallantry of taking the Cudgels for Gloucestershire, with the Pride of Heart in tucking himself up, and taking Aim at his Adversary, as well as the other's Protestation in the Humanity of low Romance, That he could not promise the Squire to break Hob's Head, but he would, if he could, do it in Love; then flourish and begin: I say, what vexes me is, that such excellent Touches as these, as well as the Squire's being out of all Patience at Hob's Success, and venturing himself into the Croud, are Circumstances hardly taken Notice of, and the Height of the Jest is only in the very Point that Heads are broken. I am confident, were there a Scene written, wherein Penkethman should break his Leg by wrestling with Bullock, and Dicky come in to set it, without one Word said but what should be according to the exact Rules of Surgery in making this Extension, and binding up the Leg, the whole House should be in a Roar of Applause at the dissembled Anguish of the Patient, the Help given by him who threw him down 1712. down, and the handy Address and arch Looks of the No. 502, Surgeon, To enumerate the Entrance of Ghosts, the Monday, Embattling of Armies, the Noise of Heroes in Love, with October 6, a thousand other Enormities, would be to transgress the Bounds of this Paper, for which Reasons it is possible they may have hereafter distinct Discourses; not forgetting any of the Audience who shall set up for Actors, and interrupt the Play on the Stage; and Players who shall preferre the Applause of Fools to that of the reasonable Part of the Company, T No. 503, Tuesday, October 7, Deleo omnes dehinc ex animo mulieres.-Ter. 'Mr. SPECTATOR, OU have often mention'd with great Vehemence and Indignation the Misbehaviour of People at Church; but I am at present to talk to you on that Subject, and complain to you of one, whom at the same Time I know not what to accuse of, except it be looking too well there, and diverting the Eyes of the Congregation to that one Object. However I have this to say, that she might have stayed at her own Parish, and not come to perplex those who are otherwise intent upon their Duty, Last Sunday was Sevenight I went into a Church not far from London-Bridge; but I wish I had been con tented to go to my own Parish, I am sure it had been better for me: I say I went to Church thither, and got into a Pew very near the Pulpit. I had hardly been accommodated with a Seat, before there entered into the Isle a young Lady in the very Bloom of Youth and Beauty, and dressed in the most elegant Manner imagin able. Her Form was such, that it engaged the Eyes of the whole Congregation in an Instant, and mine among the rest. Tho' we were all thus fixed upon her, she was not in the least out of Countenance, or under the least Disorder, tho' unattended by any one, and not seeming to know particularly where to place her self. However she had not in the least a confident Aspect, but moved on No. 503, with the most graceful Modesty, every one making Way, Tuesday, 'till she came to a Seat just overagainst that in which I October 7, was placed. The Deputy of the Ward sat in that Pew, and 1712. she stood opposite to him; and at a Glance into the Seat, tho' she did not appear the least acquainted with the Gentleman, was let in, with a Confusion that spoke much Admiration at the Novelty of the Thing. The Service immediately began, and she composed her self for it with an Air of so much Goodness and Sweetness, that the Confession, which she uttered so as to be heard where I sate, appeared an Act of Humiliation more than she had Occasion for, The Truth is, her Beauty had Something so innocent, and yet so sublime, that we all gazed upon her like a Phantom. None of the Pictures which we behold of the best Italian Painters, have any Thing like the Spirit which appeared in her Countenance, at the different Sentiments expressed in the several Parts of divine Service: That Gratitude and Joy at a Thanksgiving, that Lowliness and Sorrow at the Prayers for the Sick and Distressed, that Triumph at the Passages which gave Instances of the divine Mercy, which appeared respectively in her Aspect, will be in my Memory to my last Hour, I protest to you, Sir, she suspended the Devotion of every one around her; and the Ease she did every Thing with, soon dispersed the churlish Dislike and Hesitation in approving what is excellent, too frequent amongst us, to a general Attention and Entertainment in observing her Behaviour. All the While that we were gazing at her,. she took Notice of no Object about her, but had an Art of seeming aukwardly attentive, whatever else her Eyes were accidentally thrown upon. One Thing indeed was particular, she stood the whole Service, and never kneeled or sate. I do not question but that was to shew her self with the greater Advantage, and set forth to better Grace her Hands and Arms, lifted up with the most ardent devotion, and her Bosom, the fairest that ever was seen, bare to Observation; while she, you must think, knew Nothing of the Concern she gave others any other than as an Example of Devotion, that threw her self out, with out Regard to Dress or Garment, all Contrition, and loose of all worldly Regards, in Extasy of Devotion. Well, now the 1712, the Organ was to play a Voluntary, and she was so skilful No. 503. in Musick, and so touched with it, that she kept Time, Tuesday, not only with some Motion of her Head, but also with a October 7, different Air in her Countenance. When the Musick was strong and bold, she looked exalted, but serious; when lively and airy, she was smiling and gracious; when the Notes were more soft and languishing, she was kind and full of Pity, When she had now made it visible to the whole Congregation, by her Motion and Ear, that she could dance, and she wanted now only to inform us that she could sing too, when the Psalm was given out, her Voice was distinguished above all the rest, or rather People did not exert their own in order to hear her. Never was any heard so sweet and so strong. The Organist observed it, and he thought fit to play to her only, and she swelled every Note; when she found she had thrown us all out, and had the last Verse to herself in such a Manner, as the whole Congregation was intent upon her, in the same Manner as you see in Cathedrals they are on the Person who sings alone the Anthem, Well, it came at last to the Sermon, and our young Lady would not lose her Part in that neither; for she fixed her Eye upon the Preacher, and as he said any Thing she approved, with one of Charles Mather's fine Tablets she set down the Sentence, at once shewing her fine Hand, the Golden-Pen, her Readiness in Writing, and her Judg ment in chusing what to write. To sum up what I intend by this long and particular Account, I mean to appeal to you, whether it is reasonable that such a Creature as this shall come from a janty Part of the Town, and give her self such violent Airs, to the Disturbance of an inno cent and inoffensive Congregation, with her Sublimities. The Fact, I assure you, was as I have related; but I had like to have forgot another very considerable Par ticular. Assoon as Church was done, she immediately stept out of her Pew, and fell into the finest pitty-pat Air, forsooth, wonderfully out of Countenance, tossing her Head up and down as she swam along the Body of the Church I, with several others of the Inhabitants, follow'd her out, and saw her hold up her Fan to an Hackney-Coach at a Distance, who immediately came up No. 503. up to her, and she whipp'd into it with great Nimbleness, Tuesday, pull'd the Door with a bowing Mein, as if she had been October 7, 1712. used to a better Glass. She said aloud, You know where to go, and drove off. By this Time the best of the Congregation was at the Church-Door, and I could hear some say, A very fine Lady; others, I'll warrant ye, she's no better than she shou'd be; and one very wise old Lady said, She ought to have been taken up. Mr. SPECTATOR, I think this Matter lies wholly before you; for the Offence does not come under any Law, tho' it is apparent this Creature came among us only to give herself Airs, and enjoy her full Swing in being admired. I desire you would print this, that she may be confin'd to her own Parish; for I can assure you, there is no at tending any Thing else in a Place where she is a Novelty, She has been talk'd of among us ever since under the Name of the Phantom: But I would advise her to come no more; for there is so strong a Party made by the Women against her, that she must expect they will not be excell'd a second Time in so outragious a Manner without doing her some Insult Young Women, who assume after this Rate, and affect exposing themselves to View in Congregations at t'other End of the Town, are not so mischievous, because they are rivall'd by more of the same Ambition, who will not let the rest of the Company be particular: But, in the Name of the whole Congregation where I was, I desire you to keep these agreeable Disturbances out of the City, where Sobriety of Manners is still preserv'd, and all glaring and ostentatious Behaviour, even in Things laudable, discountenanc'd. I wish you may never see the Phantom, and am, Sir, Your most humble Servant, . T Ralph Wonder.' Wednesday |
