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Lord. Even as a flattering dream, or worthless
Then take him up, and manage well the jest:-
And hang it round with all my wanton pictures:
Full of rose-water, and bestrew'd with flowers;
And say,-Will't please your lordship cool your And say-What is't your honor will command,
Some one be ready with a costly suit,
If it be husbanded with modesty."
Wherein your lady, and your humble wife,
And with declining head into his bosom,-
To see her noble lord restor'd to health,
1 Hun. My lord, I warrant you, we'll play our part, An onion will do well for such a shift;
Lord. Take him up gently, and to bed with him; And each one to his office when he wakes.
[Some bear out SLY. A trumpet sounds.
How now? who is it?
Now, fellows, you are welcome.
Since once he play'd a farmer's eldest son ;-
1 Play. I think, 'twas Soto that your honor means.
Were he the veriest antic in the world.
Which in a napkin being close convey'd,
When they do homage to this simple peasant.
SCENE II.-A Bedchamber in the Lord's House SLY is discovered in a rich night-gown, with Attendants; some with apparel, others with bason, ewer, and other appurtenances. Enter Lord, dressed like a Servant.
Sly. For God's sake, a pot of small ale.
1 Serv. Will 't please your lordship drink a cup
2 Serv. Will't please your honor taste of these conserves?
3 Serv. What raiment will your honor wear to-day?
Sly. I am Christopher Sly; call not me-honor, nor lordship: I never drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef: Ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear; for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet; nay, sometimes, more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the over-leather.
Lord. Heaven cease this idle humor in your
our-, that a mighty man of such descent,
Sly. What, would you make me mad? Am no
I Christopher Sly, old Sly's son of Burton-heath; by | For though you lay here in this goodly chamber, birth a pedlar, by education a card-maker, by trans- Yet would you say, ye were beaten out of doors; mutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession And rail upon the hostess of the house; a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of And say, you would present her at the leet,1 Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not Because she brought stone jugs and no seal'd quarts: fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket. up for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What, I Sly. Ay, the woman's maid of the house. am not bestraught;9 Here's
1 Serv. O, this it is that makes your lady mourn. 2 Serv. O, this it is that makes your servants droop.
Lord. Henee comes it that your kindred shun your house,
As beaten hence by your strange lunacy.
O, noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth;
Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment,
Wilt thou have music? hark! Apollo plays, [Music.
Or wilt thou sleep? we'll have thee to a couch,
Say, thou wilt walk; we will bestrew the ground:
As breathed stags, ay, fleeter than the roe.
2 Serv. Dost thou love pictures? we will fetch
Adonis, painted by a running brook:
Which seem to move and wanton with her breath,
Lord. We'll show thee Io, as she was a maid;
3 Serv. Or Daphne, roaming through a thorny
3 Serv. Why, sir, you know no house, nor no such
Nor no such men, as you have reckon'd up,-
Sly. Now, Lord be thank'd for my good amends!
Sly. I thank thee; thou shalt not lose by it.
Enter the Page, as a lady, with Attendants.
Page. Here, noble lord; What is thy will with
Sly. Are you my wife, and will not call me-husband?
My men should call me-lord; I am your goodman. Page. My husband and my lord, my lord and husband;
I am your wife in all obedience.
Sly. I know it well:-What must I call her?
Sly. Al'ce madam, or Joan madam?
Lord. Madam, and nothing else; so lords call ladies.
Sly. Madam wife, they say that I have dream'd, and slept
Above some fifteen year and more.
Page. Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me:
Madam, undress you, and come now to bed.
Page. Thrice noble lord, let me entreat of you,
1 Serv. And, till the tears that she hath shed for long. But I would be loath to fall into my dreams
Like envious floods, o'er-ran her lovely face,
Sly. Am I a lord? and have I such a lady?
I smell sweet savors, and I feel soft things:-
And not a tinker, nor Christophero Sly.-
2 Serv. Will't please your mightiness to wash
[Servants present an ewer, basin, and napkin.
But did I never speak of all that time?
1 Serv. O, yes, my lord; but very idle words:
again; I will therefore tarry, in despite of the flesh and the blood.
Enter a Servant.
Serv. Your honor's players, hearing your amend-
Are come to play a pleasant comedy:
Sly. Marry, I will; let them play it: Is not a commonty2 a Christmas gambol, or a tumblingtrick?
Page. No, my good lord; it is more pleasing stuff.
Page. It is a kind of history.
Sly. Well, we'll see't: Come, madam wife, sit by my side, and let the world slip; we shall ne'er be younger. [They sit down.
SCENE I.-Padua. A public Place.
Enter LUCENTIO and TRANIO.
Luc. Tranio, since-for the great desire I had
And, by my father's love and leave, am arm'd
A merchant of great traffic through the world,
Tra. Mi perdonate, gentle master mine,
Luc. Gramercies, Tranio, well dost thou advise. If, Biondello, thou wert come ashore, We could at once put us in readiness: And take a lodging fit to entertain Such friends, as time in Padua shall beget. But stay a while: What company is this?
Tra. Master, some show, to welcome us to town. Enter BAPTISTA, KATHARINA, BIANCA, GREMIO, and HORTENSIO. LUCENTIO and TRANIO stand aside.
Bup. Gentlemen, impórtune me no further, For now I firmly am resolv'd you know; That is, not to bestow my youngest daughter, Before I have a husband for the elder: If either of you both love Katharina, Because I know you well, and love you well, Leave shall you have to court her at your pleasure.
Gre. To cart her rather: She's too rough for me:There, there, Hortensio, will you any wife?
Kath. I pray you, sir, [To BAP.] is it your will To make a stale of me among these mates?
Hor. Mates, maid! how mean you that? no mates for you,
Unless you were of gentler, milder mould.
Kath. I'faith, sir, you shall never need to fear, I wis, it is not half way to her heart: But, if it were, doubt not her care should be To comb your noddle with a three-legg'd stool, And paint your face, and use you like a fool. Hor. From all such devils, heaven deliver us! Gre. And me too, good Lord!
Tra. Hush, master! here is some good pastime toward;
That wench is stark mad, or wonderful froward
Tra. Well said, master; mum! and gaze your fill.
Bap. Gentlemen, that I may soon make good What I have said,-Bianca, get you in: And let it not displease thee, good Bianca; For I will love thee ne'er the less, my girl.
Kath. A pretty peat! 'tis best
Put finger in the eye,-an she knew why.
Bian. Sister, content you in my discontent.Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe; My books, and instruments, shall be my company; On them to look, and practise by myself. Luc. Hark, Tranio! thou mayst hear Minerva [Aside. Hor. Signior Baptista, will you be so strange? Sorry am I, that our good will effects Bianca's grief.
Why will you mew her up,
Signior Baptista, for this fiend of hell,
And make her bear the penance of her tongue?—
To mine own children in good bringing up;
What, shall I be appointed hours; as though, belike,
Gre. You may go to the devil's dam; your gifts are so good, here is none will hold you. Our love is not so great, Hortensio, butave may blow our nails together, and fast it fairly out; our cake's dough on both sides. Farewell:-Yet, for the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a fit man, to teach her that wherein she delights, I will wish him to her father.
Hor. So will I, signior Gremio: But a worl, I pray. Though the nature of our quarrel yet never brook'd parle, know now, upon advice,' it toucheth us both, that we may yet again have access to
our fair mistress, and be happy rivals in Bianca's | Her eldest sister is so curst and shrewd, love, to labor and effect one thing 'specially.
Gre. What's that, I pray?
Hor. Marry, sir, to get a husband for her sister. Gre. A husband! a devil.
Hor. I say, a husband.
Gre. I say, a devil: Think'st thou, Hortensio, though her father be very rich, any man is so very a fool to be married to her?
Hor. Tush, Gremio, though it pass your patience, and mine, to endure her loud alarums, why, man, there be good fellows in the world, an a man could light on them, would take her with all faults, and money enough.
Gre. I cannot tell; but I had as lief take her dowry with this condition,-to be whipped at the high-cross, every morning.
Hor. 'Faith as you say, there's small choice in rotten apples. But, come; since this bar in law makes us friends, it shall be so forth friendly maintained, till by helping Baptista's eldest daughter to a husband, we set his youngest free for a husband, and then have to't afresh.-Sweet Bianca! -Happy man be his dole! How say you, signior Gremio?
Gre. I am agreed: and 'would I had given him the best horse in Padua to begin his wooing, that would thoroughly woo her, wed her, and rid the house of her. Come on.
[Exeunt GREMIO and HORTENSIO. Tra. [Advancing.] I pray, sir, tell me,-Is it possible
That love should of a sudden take such hold?
And now in plainness do confess to thee,-
Tra. Master, it is no time to chide you now; Affection is not rated' from the heart:
If love have touch'd you, nought remains but so,— Redime te captum quam queas minimo.
Luc. Gramercies, lad; go forward: this contents; The rest will comfort, for thy counsel's sound.
Tra. Master, you look'd so longly' on the maid, Perhaps you mark'd not what's the pith of all. Luc. O yes, I saw sweet beauty in her face, Such as the daughter of Agenor had, That made great Jove to humble him to her hand, When with his knees he kiss'd the Cretan strand.
Tra. Saw you no more? mark'd you not, how her
Began to scold; and faise up such a storm, That mortal ears might hardly endure the din? Luc. Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move, And with her breath she did perfume the air; Sacred, and sweet, was all I saw in her.
Tra. Nay, then 'tis time to stir him from his
I pray, awake, sir; If you love the maid,
That, till the father rid his hands of her,
Luc. Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father's he!
Both our inventions meet and jump in one.
You will be schoolmaster,
And undertake the teaching of the maid:
Luc. Basta; content thee; for I have it full. We have not yet been seen in any house; Nor can we be distinguished by our faces, For man, or master: then it follows thus ;Thou shalt be master, Tranio, in my stead, Keep house, and port, and servants, as I should: I will some other be; some Florentine, Some Neapolitan, or mean man of Pisa. 'Tis hatch'd, and shall be so:-Tranio, at once Uncase thee; take my color'd hat and cloak: When Biondello comes, he waits on thee; But I will charm him first to keep his tongue.
Tra. So had you need. [They exchange habits.
(For so your father charg'd me at our parting;
Because so well I love Lucentio.
Luc. Tranio, be so, because Lucentio loves: And let me be a slave, to achieve that maid Whose sudden sight hath thrall'd my wounded eye. Enter BIONDELLO.
Here comes the rogue.-Sirrah, where have you been? [are you? Bion. Where have I been? Nay, how now, where Master, has my fellow Tranio stol'n your clothes? Or you stol'n his? or both? pray, what's the news?
Luc. Sirrah, come hither; 'tis no time to jest, And therefore frame your manners to the time. Your fellow Tranio here, to save my life, Puts my apparel and my countenance on, And I for my escape have put on his; For in a quarrel, since I came ashore, I kill'd a man, and fear I was descried: Wait you on him, I charge you, as becomes, While I make way from hence to save my life: You understand me?
Bion. 1 I, sir? ne'er a whit. Luc. And not a jot of Tranio in your mouth; Tranio is changed into Lucentio.
Bion. The better for him; Would I were so too! Tra. So would I, boy, to have the next wish after,
Bend thoughts and wits to achieve her. Thus it That Lucentia indeed had Baptista's youngest
But, sirrah,-not for my sake, but your master's
[I advise Show, appearance. • Since.
You use your manners discreetly in all kinds of | And tell me now, sweet friend,-what happy gale
When I am alone, why, then I am Tranio:
One thing more rests, that thyself execute;-
Sufficeth, my reasons are both good and weighty [Exeunt. 1 Serv. My lord, you nod: you do not mind the play. Sly. Yes, by saint Anne, do I.A good matter, surely; Comes there any more of it!
Page. My lord, 'tis but begun.
Sly. 'Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam lady; 'Would 't were done!
SCENE II-Before Hortensio's House.
Pet. Verona, for a while I take my leave,
Gru. Knock, sir! whom should I knock? is there any man has rebused your worship?
Pet. Villain, I say, knock me here soundly. Gru. Knock you here, sir? why, sir, what am I, sir, that I should knock you here, sir?
Pet. Villain, I say, knock me at this gate, And rap me well, or I'll knock your knave's pate. Gru. My master is grown quarrelsome: I should knock you first,
And then I know after who comes by the worst. Pet. Will it not be?
'Faith, sirrah, an you'll not knock, I'll wring it; I'll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.
[He wrings GRUMIO by the ears. Gru. Help, masters, help! my master is mad. Pet. Now, knock when I hid you: sirrah! villain! Enter HORTENSIO.
Hor. How now? what's the matter?-My old friend Grumio! ard my good friend Petruchio !— How do you all at Verona?
Pet. Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray! Con tutto il core bene trovato, may I say. Hor. Alla nostra casa bene venuto, Molto honorato signor mio Petruchio. Rise, Grumio, rise; we will compound this quarrel. Gru. Nay, 'tis no matter, what he 'leges' in Latin.
-If this be not a lawful cause for me to leave his
service, Look you, sir,-he bid me knock him, and rap him soundly, sir: Well, was it fit for a servant to use his master so; being, perhaps, (for aught I see,) two-and-thirty,-a pip out? Whom, 'would to God I had well knock'd at first, Then had not Grumio come by the worst.
Pet. A senseless villain-Good Hortensio, I bade the rascal knock upon your gate, And could not get him for my heart to do it. Gru. Knock at the gate?-O heavens! Spake you not these words plain-Sirrah, knock me here,
Rap me here, knock me well, and knock me soundly? And come you now with-knocking at the gate?
Pet. Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you. Hor. Petruchio, patience; I am Grumio's pledge: Why, this is a heavy chance 'twixt him and you; Your ancient, tristy, pleasant servant Grumio.
Blows you to Padua here, from old Verona? Pet. Such wind as scatters young men through the world,
To seek their fortunes further than at home,
And I have thrust myself into this maze,
Hor. Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee, And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favored wife?
Thou'dst thank me but a little for my counsel:
Pet. Signior Hortensio, 'twixt such friends as we,
I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;
Gru. Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is: Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet, or an aglet baby; or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two and fifty horses: why nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.
Hor. Petruchio, since we have stepp'd thus far in,
I would not wed her for a mine of gold. [effect:-
An affable and courteous gentleman :
Renown'd in Padua for her scolding tongue.
Pet. I know her father, though I know not her,
Gru. I pray you, sir, let him go while the humor lasts. O' my word, an she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him: She may, perhaps, call him half a score knaves, or so: why, that's nothing; an he begin sir,-an she stand him but a little, he will throw a he'll rail in his rope-tricks.' I'll tell you what,
See the story, No. 39, of "A Thousand Notable Things."