Dro. S. Certain ones then. Ant. S. Name them Dro. S. The one, to save the money that he spends in tiring; the other, that at dinner they should not drop in his porridge. Ant. S. You would all this time have proved, there is no time for all things. Dro, S. Marry, and did, sir; namely, e'en' no time to recover hair lost by nature. Ant. S. But your reason was not substantial, why there is no time to recover. Dro. S. Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, and therefore, to the world's end, will have bald ollowers. Ant. S. I knew 'twould be a bald conclusion: But soft! who wafts2 us yonder! Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA. Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and frown; The time was once, when thou unurg'd would'st vow, Am better than thy dear self's better part. As take from me thyself, and not me too. I know thou canst; and therefore, see, thou do it. I am possess'd with an adulterate blot; My blood is mingled with the crime of lust: Keep then fair league and truce with thy true bed; Ant. S. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not: Dro. S. I, sir? I never saw her till this time. Ant. S. Villain, thou liest; for even her very words Didst thou deliver to me on the mart. Dro. S. I never spake with her in all my life. Ant. S. How can she thus then call us by our names, Unless it be by inspiration? Adr. How ill agrees it with your gravity, To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave, Abetting him to thwart me in my mood? Be it my wrong, you are from me exempt," But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt. Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine: Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine:" Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state, Makes me with thy strength to communicate: If aught possess thee from me, it is dross, Usurping ivy, briar, or idle moss: Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion Infect thy sap, and live on thy confusion. Ant. S. To me she speaks; she moves me for her theme: What, was I married to her in my dream? Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner. Dro. S. O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner. This is the fairy land;-0, spite of spites!We talk with goblins, owls, and elvish sprites;11 If we obey them not, this will ensue, They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue. Luc. Why prat'st thou to thyself, and answer'st not? Dromio, thou drone, 12 thou snail, thou slug, thou sot! Ant. S. Thou hast thine own form. eye 'Tis so, your master, Ant. S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell? Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate? Adr. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate. Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late. [Exeunt. ACT III. SCENE I. The same. Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR. Ant. E. Good signior Angelo, you must excuse us all: My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours: I know: Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear. Ant. E. O, signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish, A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish. Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that churl affords. every Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words. Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a merry feast. Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing guest; But though my cates be mean, take them in good part; Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart. But, soft; my door is lock'd; Go bid them let us in. Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Jen'! Dro. S. [within.] Mome,2 malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch!3 Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch: Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such store, When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door. Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street. Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he he catch cold on's feet. came, lest Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho, open the door. Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the house I owe ?4 Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio. Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mice office and my name; The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame. If thou had'st been Dromio to-day in my place, Thou would'st have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for an ass. Luce. [within.] What a coil is there? Dromin, who are those at the gate? Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce. Luce. 'Faith, no; he comes too late: And so tell your master. Dro. E. O Lord, I must laugh:Have at you with a proverb.-Shall I set in my staff! Luce. Have at you with another: that's,-When? can you tell? Dro. S. If thy name be call'd Luce, Luce, thou hast answer'd him well. Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us in, I hope 26 Luce. I thought to have ask'd you. Dro. S. And you said, no. Dro. E. So, come, help; well struck; there was blow for blow. Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in. Can you tell for whose sake? Let him knock till it ake. Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down. Luce. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town? Adr. [within.] Who is that at the door, that keeps all this noise? Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys. Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have come before. Adr. Your wife, sir knave! go, get you from the door. Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this knave would go sore. Ang. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome; we would fain have either. Bal. In debating which was best, we shall part with neither. Dro. E. They stand at the door, master; bid them welcome hither. Ant. E. There is something in the wind, that we cannot get in. Dro. E. You would say so, master, if your gar ments were thin. Your cake here is warm within; you stand here in behind. Dro. S. It seems, thou wantest breaking; Out upon thee, hind! Dro. E. Here is too much, out upon thee! I pray thee, let me in. Dro. S. Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and fish have no fin. 1 A carcanet or chain for a lady's neck; a collar or chain of gold and precious stones: from the French lost; in which Luce might be threatened with a rope; 6 It seems probable that a line following this has been carcan. It was sometimes spelled karkanet and quar-which would have furnished the rhyme now wanting. quenet. Ant. E. Well, I'll break in; Go borrow me a | Let not my sister read it in your eye; crow. If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow together.' Ant. E. Go, get thee gone, fetch me an iron crow. Bal. Have patience, sir: O, let it not be so: Herein you war against your reputation, And draw within the compass of suspect The unviolated honour of your wife. Once this; your long experience of her wisdom, Plead on her part some cause to you unknown; Why at this time the doors are made3 against you. To know the reason of this strange restraint. Ant. E. You have prevail'd; I will depart in quiet, pense. SCENE II. The same. Enter LUCIANA, and ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse. Luc. And may it be that you have quite forgot A husband's office? shall, Antipholus, Even in the spring of love, thy love-springs rot? Shall love, in building, grow so ruinous ? If you did wed my sister for her wealth, Then, for her wealth's sake, use her with more kindness: Or, if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth; Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator; Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty; Apparel vice like virtue's harbinger: Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted; Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint: Be secret-false; What need she be acquainted? What simple thief brags of his own attaint? 'Tis double wrong, to truant with your bed, And let her read it in thy looks at board: Shame hath a bastard fame, well managed; Ill deeds are doubled with an evil word. Alas, poor women! make us but believe, Being compact of credit," that you love us; Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve; We in your motion turn, and you may move us. Then, gentle brother, get you in again; Comfort my sister, cheer her; call her wife : 'Tis holy sport, to be a little vain, 8 When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife. Ant. S Sweet mistress (what your name is else, I know not, Nor by what worder you do hit on mine,) Less, in your knowledge and your grace, you show not, Than our earth's wonder; more than earth divine. Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak; Lay open to my earthly gross conceit, Smother'd in errors, feeble, shallow, weak, The folded meaning of your words' deceit. Against my soul's pure truth why labour you, To make it wander in an unknown field? Are you a god? would you create me new? Transform me, then, and to your power I'll yield. But if that I am I, then well I know, Your weeping sister is no wife of mine, Nor to her bed no homage do I owe; Far more, far more to you do I decline." O, train me not, sweet mermaid,10 with thy note, To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears; Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote: Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs,11 And as a bed12 I'll take thee, and there lie; And, in that glorious supposition, think He gains by death, that hath such means to die :Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink !13 Luc. What, are you mad, that you do reason so? Ant. S. Not mad, but mated;14 how, I do not know. Luc. Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight. Ant. S. As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night. Luc. Why call you me love? call my sister so. That's my sister. Muffle your false love with some show of blind-It is thyself, mine own self's better part; ness: 1 The same quibble is to be found in one of the comedies of Plautus. Children of distinction among the Greeks and Romans had usually birds given them for their amusement. This custom Tyndarus, in The Captives, mentions, and says that, for his part, he had tantum upupam. Upupa signifies both a lapwing and a mattock, or some instrument with which stone was dug from the quarries. 2 Once this, here means once for all; at once. 3 i. e. made fast. The expression is still in use in some counties. 4 By this time. 5 In the old copy the first four lines stand thus :And may it be that you have quite forgot A husband's office? shall, Antipholus, Even in the spring of love, thy love-springs rot? Shall love in buildings grow so ruinate? The present emendation was proposed by Steevens, though he admitted Theobald's into his own text. Lovesprings are the buds of love, or rather the young shoots. The spring, or young shoots that grow stems or roots of trees.'-Baret. No; ; Mine eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer heart My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope's aim; is My sole earth's heaven, and my heaven's claim. Luc. All this sister is, or else should be. 6 Old copy, not. my 7 i. e. being made altogether of credulity. 8 Vain is light of tongue. 9 To decline; to turne or hang toward some place or thing.'-Baret. 10 Mermaid for siren. 11 So in Macbeth : His silver skin laced with his golden blood.' 12 The first folio reads: And as a bud I'll take thee, and there lie ;' Which Malone thus explains :-I, like an insect, will take thy bosom for a rose, or other flower,' and there "Involv'd in fragrance, burn and die." 13 Malone says that by love here is meant the queen of love. 14 Mated means matched with a wife, and confounded. A quibble is intended 1. e. all the nappiness I wish for on earth, and all that I claim from heaven hereafter. Ant. S. Call thyself sister, sweet, for I aim1 Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life; Give me thy hand. Luc. O, soft, sir, hold you still; I'll fetch my sister, to get her good will. [Exit Luc. Enter, from the House of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, Ant S. Why, how now, Dromio? where run'st thou so fast? Ant. S. Where America, the Indies? Dro. S. O, sir, upon her nose, all o'er embel Dro. S. Do you know me, sir? am I Dromio?lish'd with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, dechning am I your man? am I myself? their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who Ant. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou sent whole armadas of carracks to be ballast at art thyself. her nose. Dro. S. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and besides myself. Ant. S. What woman's man? and how besides thyself? Dro. S. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman: one that claims me, one that haunts me, Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands! Dro. S. O, sir, I did not look so low. To cotclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me; call'd me Dromio, swore, I was assur'd to her; told me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amazed, ran from Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee? her as a witch: and, I think, if my breast had not Dro. S. Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay been made of faith, and my heart of steel, she had to your horse; and she would have me as a beast:transform'd me to a curtail-dog, and made me tara not that, I being a beast, she would have me; but i' the wheel.10 that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim one that will have me. to me. Ant. S. What is she? Dro. S. A very reverend body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of, without he say, sirreverence: I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage. Ant. S. How dost thou mean, a fat marriage? Dro. S. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen wench, and all grease; and I know not what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world. Ant. S. What complexion is she of? Dro. S. Swart,3 li my shoe, but her face, nothing like so clean kept: For why? she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it. Ant. S. That's a fault that water will mend. Dro. S. No, sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it. Ant. S. What's her name? Dro. S. Nell, sir;-but her name and three quarters, that is, an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from hip to hip. Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth? Dro, S. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip; she is spherical, like a globe; I could find out countries in her. Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ireland? Dro. S. Marry, sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs. Ant. S. Where Scotland? Ant. S. Go, hic thee presently, post to the road; So fly I from her that would be my wife. here; And therefore 'tis high time that I were hence. Ang. Master Antipholus? Ang. I know it well, sir: Lo, here is the chain; Ant. S. What is your will, that I shall do with this? Ant. S. Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it not. Ang. Not once nor twice, but twenty times you have: Dro. S. I found it by the barrenness; hard, in Go home with it, and please your wife withal; the palm of the hand."" Ant. S. Where France? 1 The old copy reads I am thee. The present read. ing is Steevens'. Others have proposed I mean thee; but aim for aim at was sometimes used. 2 This is a very old corruption of save reverence, salva reverentia. See Blount's Glossography, 1652. 3 Swart, or swarth, i. e. dark, dusky, infuscus. 4 This poor conundrum is borrowed by Massinger in The Old Law. 5 Had this play been revived after the accession of James, it is probable this passage would have been struck out; as was that relative to the Scotch lord in The Merchant of Venice, Act i. Sc. 1. And soon at supper-time I'll visit you, 6 An equivoque,' says Theobald, 'is intended. In 1589, Henry III. of France, being stabbed, was succeed. ed by Henry IV. of Navarre, whom he had appointedgy his successor; but whose claim the states of France resisted on account of his being a protestant. This I take to be what is meant by France making war against her heir. Elizabeth had sent over the Earl of Essex with four thousand men to the assistance of Henry of 12 Porcupine throughout the old editions of these plays is written porpentine. I find it written porpyn in an old phrase book, called Hormanni Vulgaria, 1519, thus: 'Porpyns have longer prickles than Yrchins.' Ant. S. I pray you, sir, receive the money now, ACT IV. [Exit. SCENE I. The same. Enter a Merchant, AN- Mer. You know, since pentecost the sum is due, Ang. Even just the sum, that I do owe to you, Is growing to me by Antipholus: Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and DROMIO of Of. That labour may you save; see where he And buy a rope's end; that will I bestow go Dro. E. I buy a thousand pound a year! I buy money; Besides, I have some business in the town: Ant. E. No! bear it with you, lest I come not Ang. Well, sir, I will: Have you the chain about you? Ant. E. An if I have not, sir, I hope you have: Or else you may return without your money. 1 ie, accruing. 2 The old copy reads their. 3 I will for I shall is a Scotticism; but it is not unfrequent in old writers on this side of the Tweed. 4 Malone has a very long note on this passage, in which he says: it was not Angelo's meaning, that Antipholus of Ephesus should send a jewel or other token by him, but that Antipholus should send him with a verbal token to his wife, by which it might be ascer tained that he came from Antipholus; and that she might safely pay the price of the chain. In the name of common sense, what does this prove?-Can it signify Your breach of promise to the Porcupine: Ang. You hear,how he importunes me; the chain-- Ang. Come, come, you know, I gave it you Either send the chain, or send by me some token.4 breath: Come, where's the chain? I pray you let me see it. Ant. E. I answer you! What should I answer you? Ang. You wrong me more, sir, in denying it: Ang. This touches me in reputation : Ant. E. Consent to pay thee that I never had! Ang. Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer; Off. I do arrest you, sir; you hear the suit. Ang. Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus, Enter DROMIO of Syracuse. Dro. S. Master, there is a bark of Epidamnum, Ant. E. How now! a madman! Why thou pee. What ship of Epidamnum stays for me? Dro. S. A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage." Ant. E. Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope; And told thee to what purpose and what end. Dro. S. You sent me for a rope's end as soon: Ant. E. I will debate this matter at more leisure, whether the token Angelo wishes Antipholus to send 5 Freight, cargo. 6 Peerish was used for mad, or foolish 7 i. e. carriage; hire is here a dissyllable, and is spelt hier in the old copy. |