Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of Finely attired in a robe of white. [time Page. That silk will I go buy ;- and in that Shall master Slender steal my Nan away,

staff straight.

[Aside. And marry her at Eton.Go, send to Fal[Brook: Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of He'll tell me all his purpose: Sure, he'll come. Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us And tricking for our fairies. [properties t, Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries.

Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and EVANS. Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford, Send quickly to sir John, to know his mind. [Exit Mrs. FORD. I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot; And he my husband best of all affects: The doctor is well money'd, and his friends Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have her, Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. [Exit.

SCENE V.

A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Host and SIMPLE. Host. What would'st thou have, boor? what, thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak with sir John Falstaff from master Slender.

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: Knock, I say.

Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come down: I come to speak with her, indeed.

Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully sir

• Soundly. + Necessarics.

John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls. Fal. [above.] How now, mine host?

Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: Fye! privacy? fye! Enter FALSTAFF.

Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone.

Sim. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford ?

Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; What would you with her?

Sim. My master, sir, my master Slender, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that besent to her, seeing her go thorough the streets, guiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no. Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. Sim. And what says she, I pray, sir? Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened him of it.

Sim. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Host. Ay, come; quick.

Sim. I may not conceal them, sir.
Fal. Conceal them, or thou diest.

mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were 10y Sim. Why, sir, they were nothing but about

master's fortune to have her, or no.
Fal. Tis, 'tis his fortune.
Sim. What, sir?"

Fal. To have her,-or no:

woman told me so.

Go; say,

the

Sim. May I be so bold to say so, sir? Fal. Ay, sir Tike; who more bold? master glad with these tidings. [Exit SIMPLE Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my

Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, sir John: Was there a wise woman with thee? Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that hath tanght me more wit than ever I learned before in my life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning. Enter BARDOLPH.

Bard. Out, alas, sir! cozenage! meer cozen

age!

Host. Where be my horses? speak well of them varletto.

Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.

villain: do not say, they be fled; Germans Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, are honest men,

Enter Sir HUGH EVANS. Eva. Where is mine host? Host. What is the matter, sir?

Cunning woman, a fortune teller.

Cuius. I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tella me, dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Jarmany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat the court is know to come; I tell you for good vill: adieu. [Exit. Host. Hue and cry, villain, go:-assist me, knight; I am undone-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone!

[Exeunt Host and BARDOLPH. Fal. I would, all the world might be cozened; for I have been cozen'd and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgeled, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I forswore myself at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.

Enter Mrs. QUICKLY.

Now! whence come you?

Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. Ful. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have suffered more for their sakes, more, than the villainous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.

Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, 1 warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.

Fab. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow, and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, the common stocks, for a witch.

Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed.

Fal. Come up into my chamber. [Excunt. * A game at cards.

SCENE VI.

Another Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter FENTON and Host.

Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all. [purpose, Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee [loss. A hundred pound in gold, more than your Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I will, at the least, keep your counsel. [you Fent. From time to time I have acquainted With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; Who, mutually, hath answer'd my affection (So far forth as herself might be her chooser,) Even to my wish: I have a letter from her Of such contents as you will wonder at; The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, That neither, singly, can be manifested, Without the show of both; wherein fat

Falstaff

mine host:

2

Hath a great scene: the image of the jest
Showing the Letter.
I'll show you here at large. Hark, good
[and one,
To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve
Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen;
The purpose why, is heret; in which disguise,
While other jests are something rank on foot,
Her father hath commanded her to slip
Away with Slender, and with him at Eton
Immediately to marry: she hath consented:
Now, sir,

Her mother, even strong against that match,
And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed
That he shall likewise shuffle her away,
While other sports are tasking of their minds,
And at the deanery, where a priest attends,
Straight marry her to this her mother's plot
She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath [rests:
Made promise to the doctor;-Now, thus it
Her father means she shall be all in white;
And in that habit, when Slender sees his time
To take her by the hand, and bid her go,
She shall go with him:-her mother hath
intended,

The better to denote her to the doctor,
(For they must all be mask'd and vizarded)
That, quaint in green, she shall be loose
enrob'd,

With ribands pendant, flaring 'bout her head; And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe, To pinch her by the hand, and on that token, The waid hath given consent to go with him." Host. Which means she to deceive? father [with me:

or mother?

Fent. Both, my good host, to go along And here it rests,-that you'll procure the vicar To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and And, in the lawful name of marrying, [one, To give our hearts united ceremony.

Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to [priest. Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a Fent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee; Besides, I'll make a present recompense.

Fantastically.

[Exeunt.

SCENE I. A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter FALSTAFF and Mrs. QUICKLY. Fal. Pr'ythee, no more prattling ;-go. I'll hold This is the third time; I hope,' good luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go; they say, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death,-Away. Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns. Fal. Away, I say; time wears hold up your head, and mince, [Exit Mrs. QUICKLY.

Enter FORD.

How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall see wonders.

Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed?

Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man: but I came from her, master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you. He beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's beam; because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go along with me; I'll tell you all, master Brook. Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, til lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave Ford: on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand.-Follow Strange things in hand, master Brook! follow. [Exeunt.

is in green when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must go together.

Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu, Mrs. Page. Fare you well, sir. [Exit CAIUS.] My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying my daughter; but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heart-break.

Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welsh devil, Hugh? Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once display to the night. Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him.

be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will way be mocked.

Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely... Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their lechery,

Those that betray them do no treachery. Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on; To the oak, to the oak! [Exeunt.

SCENE IV. Windsor Park. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS, and Fairies. member your parts: be pold, I pray your Eva. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and refollow me into the pit; and when I give the watch-'ords, do as pid you; Come, comeri [Exeunt SCENE V. Another part of the Park. Enter FALSTAFF disguised, with a buck's shead on.

trib, trib.

Shal. That's good too: But what needs either your mum, or her budget the white will decipher her well enough.-It hath strack ten o'clock.

Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me.' [Exeunt.

SCENE III. The Street in Windsor. Enter Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and Dr. CAIUS. Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter * Keep to the time.

makes a beast a man; in some other, a man a beast.-You were also, Jupiter, a swan, for the love of Leda;-0, omnipotent love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goose ?-A fault done first in the form of aˆ beast;-O Jove, a beastly fault! and then another fault in the semblance of a fowl; think on't, Jove; a foul fault. When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the forest: send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my doe?

Enter Mrs. FORD and Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my deer? my male deer?

Fal. My doe with the black sent 1-Let Watch-word.

the sky rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green Sleeves; hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here. [Embracing her. Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.

Fal. Divide me like a bribe buck, each a haunch: I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your husbands. Am I a woodman? ha! Speak I like Herne the hunter ?-Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome! [Noise within. Mrs. Page. Alas! what noise? Mrs. Ford. Heaven forgive our sins! Fal. What should this be?

Mrs. Page.

And, Hony soit qui mal y pense, write,
In emerald tufts,flowers purple,blue,and white;
Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery,
Buckled below fair knight-hood's bending
knee :

Fairies use flowers for their charactery §.
Away; disperse: But, till 'tis one o'clock,
Our dance of custom, round about the oak
Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget.

Eva. Pray you, lock hand in hand, yourselves in order set:

And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be, To guide our measure round about the tree. But, stay; I smell a man of middle earth.

Fal. Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy! lest he transform me to a piece of cheese! Pist. Vile worm, thou wast o'er-look'd even in thy birth. [end: he be chaste, the flame will back descend, Quick. With trial fire touch me his fingerAnd turn him to no pain; but if he start, It is the flesh of a corrupted heart. Pist. A trial, come.

Eva. Come, will this wood take fire? [They burn him with their tapers. Fal. Oh, oh, ob! [desire! Quick. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in About him fairies; sing a scornful rhyme : And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time. Eva. It is right; indeed he is full of lecheries and iniquity...

unswept,

There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry t: Our radiant queen hates sluts, and sluttery. Fal. They are fairies; he, that speaks to them, shall die:

I'll wink and couch: No man their works must eye. [Lies down upon his face. Eva. Where's Pede?-Go you, and where you find a maid,

That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said,
Raise up the organs of her fantasy,
Sleep she as sound as careless infancy;
But those as sleep, and think not on their sins,
Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides,
Quick. About, about;
[and shins,

Search Windsor castle, elves, within and out:
Strew good luck,ouphes,on every sacred room;
That it may stand till the perpetual doom,
In state as wholesome, as in state 'tis fit;
Worthy the owner, and the owner it.
The several chairs of order look you scour
With juice of balm, and every precious flower:
Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest,
With loyal blazon, evermore be blest!
And nightly, meadow-fairies, look, you sing,
Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring:
The expressure that it bears, green let it be,
More fertile fresh than all the field to see;

• Keeper of the forest.

SONG.

Fye on sinful fantasy!
Fye on lust and luxury!
Lust is but a bloody fire,
Kindled with unchaste desire,
Fed in heart; whose flames aspire,
As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher.
Pinch him, fairies, mutually;
Pinch him for his villainy; [about,
Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him
Till candles, and star-light, and moonshine

..be out.

During this song, the fairies pinch Falstaff. Doctor Gains comes one way, and steals away a fairy in green; Slender another way, and takes off a fairy in white; and Fenton comes, and steals away Mrs. Anne Page. A noise of hunting is made within. All the fairies run away. Fal staff pulls off his buck's head, and rises.

Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. PAGE, and Mrs. FORD. They lay hold on him.

Page. Nay, do not fly: I think, we have watch'd you now; [turn? Will none but Herne the hunter serve your Mrs. Page. I pray you, come; hold up

the jest no higher[wives! Now, good sir John, how like you Windsor See you these, husband? do not these fair yokes ||

Become the forest better than the town?