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Eva. 'Pray you, use your patience: in good time. Caius. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog,
Eva. 'Pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to other men's humours ; I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends :-I will knog your urinals about your knave's cogs-combs, for missing your meetings and appointments.
[They fight. Caius. Diable !-Jack Rugby-mine Host de Jurterre-have I not stay for him, to kill him ? have I not, at de place I did appoint ?
Evā. As I am a christians soul, now, look you, this is the place appointed ; l'll be judgment by mine host of the Garter.
Host. Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, soul-curer and body-curer.
Caius. Ay, dat is very good ! excellent !
Host. Peace, I say; hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic ? am I suhtle? Shall I lose my doctor ? no; he gives me the potions. Shall I lose my parson ? no ; he gives me the pro-verbs and the no-verbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial ; (To Caius.] so :-Give me thy hand, celestial ; [To Eva.] so. Boys of art, I have deceiv'd you both; I have directed you to wrong places : your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn: Follow me, lad of peace ; follow, follow, follow.
Shal, Trust me, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow. Slen. O, sweet Anne Page !
[Exeunt Host, SHALLOW, PAGE, SIMPLE, and
SLENDER, L. Caius. Ha ! do I perceive dat? hạve you make-a de sot of us ? ha, ha!
Eva. This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. I desire you, that we may be friends : and let us knog our prains together, to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host of the Garter.
Caius. By gar, vit all my heart; he promise to bring me vere is Anne Page: by gar, he deceive me too. Eva. Well, I will smite his noddles ;
;-'Pray you follow.
[They embrace, and exeunt, L. SCENE II. A Road, with large Oak Tree.
Enter Robin and Mrs. PAGE, L. Mrs. Puge. Nay, keep your way, little gallant: you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader : Whether had you rather lead, mine eyes, or eye your master's heels ?
Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf.
Mrs. Page. O, you are a flattering boy; now I see you'll be a courtier. Well, to reward and to amuse thee on thy way, marry, I'll tell thee an old tale.
SONG.-MRS. PAGE. It was a Lordling's daughter, the fairest one of three, That liked of her master as well as well might be, Till looking on an Englishman, the fairest eye could
Her fancy fell a turningLong was the combat doubtful, that love with love did
fight, To leave the master loveless, or kill the gallant knight. To put in practice either, alas ! it was a spite,
Unto the silly damsel. But one must be refus'd, more mickle was the pain, That nothing could be used, to turn them both to gain; For of the two the trusty knight was wounded with dis
Alas! she could not help it! Thus art with arms contending, was victor of the day, Which by a gift of learning did bear the maid away, Then lullaby, the learned man has got the lady gay ; For now my song is ended.
Enter FORD, L. Ford. Well met, Mistress Page: whither go you?
Mrs. Page. Truly, sir, to see your wife: Is she at home?
Ford. (L. c.) Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want 'of company : I think, if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.
Mrs. Page. (c.) Be sure of that two other husbands. Ford. Where had you this pretty weather-cock?
Mrs. Page. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of. What do you call your knight's name, sirrah?
Rob. Sir John Falstaff.
Mrs. Page. He, he; I can never hit on's name.There is such a league between my good man and he! - Is your wife at home, indeed ?
Ford. Indeed she is,
Mrs. Page. By your leave, sir; [Crosses to L.] I am sick till I see her.
[Exeunt Mrs. Page and ROBIN, R. Ford. Has Page any brains ? hath he any eyes ? hath he any thinking? Sure, they sleep. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty miles, as easy as. a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score. He pieces out his wife's inclination; and now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. Good plots !-they are laid ! and our revolted wives share damnation together. Well ; I will take him, then torture my wife; pluck the borrow'd veil of modesty from the so seeming Mistress Page; divulge Page himself for a secure and wil. ful Actæon. [The Clock strikes Ten.] The clock gives me my cue, and my assurancé bids me search ; there I' shall find Falstaff. I shall be rather prais'd for this, than mock'd; for it is as positive as the earth is firm, that Falstaff is there. Enter Page, SHALLOW, SLENDER, Host, Evans,
Caius, RUGBY, and SIMPLE, L. Shal. (c.) Page, &c. Well met, Master Ford.
Ford. Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at home; and, I pray you, all go with me.
Shal, I must excuse myself, Master Ford.
Slen. (L. C.) And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her, for more money than I'll speak of. I hope, I have your good will, father Page.
Page. (c.) You have, master Slender ; I stand wholly for you :-but my wife, master Doctor, is for you altogether.
Caius. (L.) Ay, by gar! and de maid is love-a me; my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.
Host. (L. c.) What say you to young master Fenton? he capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth; he writes verses, he speaks holiday; he smells April and May ;
he will carry't, he will carry't ; 'tis in his buttons ; he will carry't.
Page. Not by my consent, I promise you.
Ford. (R.) I beseech you heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner; besides your cheer you shall have sport; I'll show you a monster. Master Doctor, you shall go ;-so shall you, master Page;-and you, Sir Hugh.
Shal. Well, fare you well. We shall have the freer wooing at Master Page's.
[Exeunt SHALLOW, Slender, and SIMPLE, L. Host. Farewell, my hearts ; I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him. (Exit, L.
Ford. (R.) I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first with him ; I'll make him dance. Will you go gentles ?
[Exeunt FORD, Page, and Evans, R. Caius. (c.) Go home, John Rugby, I come anon.
[Exeunt Caius, R. and RUGBY, L.
SCENE III.- Ford's House.-Door R. and L.
Enter Mrs. FORD and MRS. PAGE, R. Mrs. Ford. What, John! what, Robert ! Mrs. Page. Quickly, quickly ;-is the buck-basketMrs. Ford, I warrant :- -What, Robin, I say.
Enter John and ROBERT, L. with a huge Buck-basket.
Mrs. Page. Come, come, come.
[They place it in c. of Stage. Mrs. Page. Give your men the charge; we must be brief.
Mrs. Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John and Robert, be ready here hard-by in the brew-house; and, when I suddenly call you, come forth, and (without any pause or staggering) take this basket on your shoulders: that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet-mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch, close by the Thames' side.
Mrs. Page. You will do it?
Mrs. Ford. I have told them over and over; they lack no direction. Be gone, and come when you are call'd. O, we'll teach him!
[Exeunt Joun and ROBERT, R.
DUET.-MRS. FORD AND Mrs. Page.
All that glitters is not gold,
But lov'd mistress to behold
Gilded wood may worms infold-
over wise or bold,
your suit is cold.” We'll leave a proof, &c. Mrs. Page. Here comes little Robin.
Enter ROBIN, L. Mrs. Ford. How now, my eyas-musket? what news with you?
Rob. My master, Sir John, is come in at the back door, Mistress Ford, and requests your company.
Mrs. Page. You little Jack-a-lent, have you been true to us ?
Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn. My master knows not of your being here ; and hath threaten'd to put me into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it; for he swears he'll turn me away.
Mrs. Page. Thou’rt a good boy: this secresy of thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a new doublet and hose. I'll go hide me.
Mrs. Ford. Do so :-Go and tell thy master, I am alone. [Exit Robin, R.] Mistress Page, remember you your cue, Mrs. Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss
[Exit, R. Mrs. Ford. Go to then ;-we'll use this unwholesome humidity, gross watery pumpion; we'll teach him to know turtles from jays.
Enter FALSTAFF, L. Fal. Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel?Why, this is the period of my ambition : 0, this blessed hour!
Mrs. Ford. O, sweet Sir John!